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(Telegraph)   If you're stupid enough to deliberately stand in the jet wash of a plane, be prepared to be blown away   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 128
    More: Dumbass, Princess Juliana International Airport, Saint Martin, car wash  
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15691 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2012 at 9:48 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-10 02:28:57 AM

TwowheelinTim: Gyrfalcon: TwowheelinTim: Animatronik: They need to put up a blast wall to make the airport more idiot-proof.

They need to take down the fence so the idiots can get closer.

Buster 49: Back in ye olde days before the TSA, media folks were allowed relative freedom to go out onto the tarmac and shoot video of planes coming and going.

I positioned myself in a location that I figured would give me a good vantage point to shoot video of a jet taxiing for take off.

The stream of very hot, kerosene smelling air streamed into my area as the jet's engine swept its arc on the taxi way. I quickly realized I was in trouble but it was too late. No place to go because I was surrounded on 2 sides by cyclone fence.

What I failed to realize was that after the plane taxied into position for take off I would be in direct line of its jet wash WHEN it took off.

Pilot fired up his engines for take off. My about 80 lbs of video gear and myself got plastered against the fence by the VERY hot, smelly jet wash.

No bikini babe to rescue my butt.

csb

Hmmmm.......

Oh, come on now, Darwin and all that. We need to cull the herd somehow. It may as well be entertaining. Have you not seen "Idiocracy"? Ow My Balls!


It was pretty entertaining. That out-take (along with a lot of my swearing) ended up on the company xmas reel. There were also some choice words for the idiot producer who demanded the shots, which is why I was there in the first place.
 
2012-04-10 02:31:42 AM
I'm going to open a tourist package agency for stupid rich people.

We drag you down to some humid island and plant your ass behind a jet plane at full throttle 40' away. After you recover, you get to run around in your underpants and drink 16.00 mai tais and then we whisk you off to Nello for a tasty 600.00 lunch.

The whole thing ends in a dangerous sidewalk casino in Albania where eastern bloc mafiosi steal your luggage and iPads and aggressively try and date you wife.

I figure I can sell the whole clusterf*ck for 500k and throw in a T-shirt and a refrigerator magnet and still clear 300k after plane fare, kickbacks and insurance waiver fees.
 
2012-04-10 02:31:47 AM

Buster 49: Back in ye olde days before the TSA, media folks were allowed relative freedom to go out onto the tarmac and shoot video of planes coming and going.

I positioned myself in a location that I figured would give me a good vantage point to shoot video of a jet taxiing for take off.

The stream of very hot, kerosene smelling air streamed into my area as the jet's engine swept its arc on the taxi way. I quickly realized I was in trouble but it was too late. No place to go because I was surrounded on 2 sides by cyclone fence.

What I failed to realize was that after the plane taxied into position for take off I would be in direct line of its jet wash WHEN it took off.

Pilot fired up his engines for take off. My about 80 lbs of video gear and myself got plastered against the fence by the VERY hot, smelly jet wash.

No bikini babe to rescue my butt.

csb


I'm surprised you didn't suffocate on all that CO2....
 
2012-04-10 02:38:20 AM
Which gets me going...... most of the crap you see on TV news is NOT because of the reporter or the videographer wants it to be that way.

It's because some fark wad sitting back in the news room decides that's what they want to see on the air that day.. They have a 1:15 time slot to fill and it better match up with what ever the other TV stations did.

If it doesn't match, make it match.

If there is no story, make one up.

Really.

Call me jaded, been out of the biz since 1987 and there's a reason
 
2012-04-10 03:37:30 AM
Jet wash.

Cute.

We called that exhaust on the flight deck.
 
2012-04-10 03:46:22 AM

eyehate: Jet wash.

Cute.

We called that exhaust on the flight deck.


Hey, is this you? (new window)
 
2012-04-10 03:47:57 AM

Buster 49: It was pretty entertaining. That out-take (along with a lot of my swearing) ended up on the company xmas reel. There were also some choice words for the idiot producer who demanded the shots, which is why I was there in the first place.


That may be the best part of this whole thread.

Also me imagining the conversation:

"Hey, Buster we need a shot of a jet plane taking off from like two feet away! Think you can manage that?"
"Sure boss! Sounds really cool!" (Thinks to self: Sounds really cool!)
...then scene described above plays out. Buster comes home.
"So, didja get the shot?"
"*$#@#)$(@~!!!! @@$()&@$(*#&@@!!! Here's your @$@)&@#(*$&%!!!! shot!"
 
2012-04-10 04:45:14 AM
Airbus / Scarebus continues its ritual un-prosecuted pre-meditated killing of passengers world wide. From forcing tsunami destroyed countries to buy Scarebus to get aid, to failing the A380 150% wing-loading test, Scarebus builds on its reputation for falling out of the sky. FL35, cruise and it "breaks up". Nice. Good planes.

/and I was having geekfail because I couldn't tell if it was an A320 or A321
//JetBlue only has A320s, problem solved
 
2012-04-10 05:34:26 AM
I'm totally stupid enough to try and stand in the jet wash while clinging to the fence.

/Maybe wear a wing suit too
 
2012-04-10 05:56:28 AM

lucksi: I'm totally stupid enough to try and stand in the jet wash while clinging to the fence.

/Maybe wear a wing suit too


Man, I just got the best Idea...

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is jet wash base jumping..."
 
2012-04-10 06:09:43 AM
If you are standing within 150 feet of a 767 at takeoff power, the exhaust is about 200 mph. (This is similar to an F3 tornado. If you are able to hold on to the fence, it will break your fingers.)

Boeing is nice enough to provide charts:
http://www.boeing.com/commercial/airports/acaps/767sec6.pdf

I don't know how people came up with ideas for "Jackass" movies before the internet.
 
2012-04-10 06:22:24 AM

grumpy_bumfark: Navy dude sucked into A-6 Intruder jet engine intake and lives - including a hilarious shot of him in a sling and wrapped in bandages like something out of a Loony Toons cartoon.

Hey thanks or the non-popping link you total farkhole!

~
First time I've been called for that. I'm an oldskool right-click-open-in-new-window man, myself. Not sure if I've got bad netiquette or you're just a Helen Lovejoy. I'm happy to change my ways if it's the former.
 
2012-04-10 07:58:12 AM

gas giant: [www.therobotspajamas.com image 450x304]


Awesome.
Good call.
 
2012-04-10 08:02:35 AM
*sees girl holding on to fence 15 feet away from jet*
aptn.ca
yeah, this will end well.
 
2012-04-10 08:03:54 AM
So I imagine a lawsuit will be happening soon...
 
2012-04-10 08:11:20 AM

badgerb: wildcardjack: I've seen landings with that beach, but I haven't seen a takeoff next to that beach.

That was not a Learjet... Any idea how large that aircraft was?

Noooooooo!!!!!
You will get the aviation crowd in here.
I hate the smell of narcissists in the morning.


Of course, it was a Lockheed Martin 767 with McDonnell-Hamburger engines; you can tell by the dual flanges on the engine trupots and the flat tone of the backwash as it passes through the C-degree median. I remember once when I was flying my X-39J with a central-line pattern formation and received an uplink loadcall from a B-67 Lockheed with a perforated blowout flange; the idiots at ATC mistook it for a secondary trimester and sent out a DD23 from LAX to PDQ before the weather cleared. HA HA HA HA HA HA! Good times.
 
2012-04-10 08:57:12 AM
the stupid is strong with this one.


im surprised the airport hasnt put anything up to stop this sort of stupidity.

yes i would do it too :D
 
2012-04-10 09:18:07 AM

MythDragon: So I imagine a lawsuit will be happening soon...


Not in Sint Maarten. That's part of The Nederlands, and doesn't have the same litigation laws as the US.

It's good ole Runway 27 at Princess Juliana Airport, and on Maho Beach. Behind the viewpoint of the video is one of the best bars in the world -- the Sunset Beach Bar (www.sunsetbeachbar.com/) ... where topless women drink free. Unlike a nude beach, the women who imbibe free beverages there are often spectacular. SSBB has a surfboard with airplane landing times so people can enjoy the feeling of a fully laden commercial airliner pass
Standing at the end of the runway holding on to the chainlink fence while planes take off is something of a sport there, and there are signs warning one not to do it. People do it anyway, and once in a blue moon, some stupid drunk fool -- it happens to men too -- won't hold on tightly enough and they get blown backwards. The video is by far not the worse. I have seen women blown completely into the surf there. If you look carefully, you will notice that the road has two high curbs, and that's to keep CARS from getting blown into the water.

/Sint Maarten property owner. Been to that very spot a couple hundred times.
//That's a 737 bound for JFK. Flown that very plane.
 
2012-04-10 09:33:08 AM
was in Saint Martin last year and did this with my wife and brother. probably one of the most intense 3 minutes i've ever had. can't see anything with the dust being kicked up, but it's like being in the middle of a tornado.

after it's done....go back across the street to the bar have a few more beers and wait for the next one.
 
2012-04-10 10:02:22 AM

wildcardjack: I've seen landings with that beach, but I haven't seen a takeoff next to that beach.

That was not a Learjet... Any idea how large that aircraft was?


The tail cone with the APU exhaust looks like a B-747. If it was, the engines of the latest model produce 266,000+ lbs of thrust. Standing behind that when, to get off that short runway, the engines have to be brought up to 100% thrust before break release is beyond moronic. Among her injuries was probably burns.
 
2012-04-10 10:24:42 AM
Been to St. Maarten a couple times. I've watched people do this. Usually they're drunk.

It's pretty impressive watching planes land up close like that, though.
 
2012-04-10 11:10:01 AM

miniflea: When I was in Ireland, one of the places I visited were the cliffs of Moher. I was taking pictures, even though it wasn't one of the three or so days out of the whole year when the weather is suitable for postcard photography, and I'm gradually inching closer and closer to the edge, the only thought in my mind composition and my eye firmly fixed to viewfinder, when I feel empty space under the front half of my foot. If I had been stepping instead of inching, I may well have walked right off the goddamn cliff.

Once I stopped shaking I reflected upon my stupidity and swore to myself I'd be a hell of a lot more careful in the future.



This is just it. What you had was a normal learning experience. When people go through decades of their lives being constantly protected from everything around them, basically a grown-up extension of their preschool playroom, they fail to develop those senses of caution and self-restraint that are oh-so-important to, say, not walking off a cliff the first time they're out in *actual nature.* And when I look around and see each new generation of parents, too afraid to let their kids fall down, I know that this problem isn't going away anytime soon.
 
2012-04-10 12:09:40 PM

JackieRabbit: The tail cone with the APU exhaust looks like a B-747.


747:
i13.photobucket.com

Drunk Astronaut: That's a 737 bound for JFK. Flown that very plane.


737:
i13.photobucket.com

FTFV:
i13.photobucket.com

A320:
i13.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-10 01:06:58 PM
Hell, I'll admit I'd do it. I know what I'd be getting in to. I might be nerdy enough to wear a full face helmet at the fence line though. I've seen other videos where people back on the beach are getting blown into the surf. Everyone there knows about this, it isn't any kind of one-off thing or accident.
 
2012-04-10 02:30:51 PM

Glendale: Hell, I'll admit I'd do it. I know what I'd be getting in to. I might be nerdy enough to wear a full face helmet at the fence line though. I've seen other videos where people back on the beach are getting blown into the surf. Everyone there knows about this, it isn't any kind of one-off thing or accident.


I read quite a ways thinking you were talking about pink thong girl.

/pink thong girl: yes
//jetwash: no - what's the point?
 
2012-04-10 03:21:21 PM
Better video (new window), if you're into this sort of thing.
 
2012-04-10 05:08:51 PM

Hagbardr: FUS RO DAH!



I lol'd
 
2012-04-10 10:21:21 PM

Uncle Pooky: Better video (new window), if you're into this sort of thing.


DAT ASS (1:15)
 
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