Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   30% of all web traffic is porn. The other 70% is cats and Fark   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 190
    More: Obvious, Avenue Q, ExtremeTech, porn  
•       •       •

11547 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2012 at 2:51 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



190 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-09 03:32:42 PM  

Onkel Buck: Also in one year the male porn actors combined ejaculate 60 gallons of semen.
Heard that in a documentay, so it has to be true

/wonder how much money a jizz mopper makes?


The jizz-mopper doesn't pull much. It's the fluffer who's making it hand-over-fist.
 
2012-04-09 03:33:58 PM  

Prof. Frink: Onkel Buck: Also in one year the male porn actors combined ejaculate 60 gallons of semen.
Heard that in a documentay, so it has to be true

/wonder how much money a jizz mopper makes?

The jizz-mopper doesn't pull much. It's the fluffer who's making it hand-over-fist.


I salute you and your puns.
 
2012-04-09 03:35:37 PM  

MoronLessOff: NationalHero: I imagine that before Facebook porn was more like 75% of the internet.


-fondly remembers waiting for dial-up boobies

-fondly dozens of floppies.
The disks! I stored the perkies on the floppies.


Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.
 
2012-04-09 03:36:38 PM  
30% porn, 40% cats, 30% Furry porn.

Why do so many on the Internet like porn and cats, and not Furries? They're the Resee's Peanut Butter Cups of the net.
 
2012-04-09 03:36:43 PM  

Prof. Frink: Onkel Buck: Also in one year the male porn actors combined ejaculate 60 gallons of semen.
Heard that in a documentay, so it has to be true

/wonder how much money a jizz mopper makes?

The jizz-mopper doesn't pull much. It's the fluffer who's making it hand-over-fist.


Put your money where your mouth is.
 
2012-04-09 03:39:06 PM  

Odoriferous Queef: MoronLessOff: NationalHero: I imagine that before Facebook porn was more like 75% of the internet.


-fondly remembers waiting for dial-up boobies

-fondly dozens of floppies.
The disks! I stored the perkies on the floppies.

Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.


This. I kept those disks under lock and key. I handled them with white gloves...because teenagers get that stuff on everything.
 
2012-04-09 03:39:52 PM  
Ohhh I see what they did there. They didn't mean MY porn usage.

/there is still some porn I have not seen.
 
2012-04-09 03:40:13 PM  
The report uncovered the viewing figures for Xvideos from Google's DoubleClick Ad Planner, which uses cookies to gather information about users.


So, ~30% of HTTP traffic is porn related.
That sounds reasonable.
Though, those stats are missing the 98% of bitTorrent traffic that's porn (the other 2% of course being Doctor Who and Top Gear)..
 
2012-04-09 03:42:10 PM  
does the 30% also take in the amount of cat porn as well?
 
2012-04-09 03:42:46 PM  
Subby's math omits some overlapping interests.

ninjamonkey.us
 
2012-04-09 03:44:04 PM  
100% of the time it is 30% of the time.
 
2012-04-09 03:45:18 PM  
Fark cats... Where does that one go?
 
ecl
2012-04-09 03:46:30 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: 30% porn, 40% cats, 30% Furry porn.

Why do so many on the Internet like porn and cats, and not Furries? They're the Resee's Peanut Butter Cups of the net.


I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
 
2012-04-09 03:46:48 PM  

Onkel Buck: Also in one year the male porn actors combined ejaculate 60 gallons of semen.
Heard that in a documentay, so it has to be true

/wonder how much money a jizz mopper makes?


Inasmuch as the average male ejaculates 5 ml of semen, to produce 60 gal of spunk, they would have to 45,425 orgasms per year. They'd all only need to have only ejaculate 124 each day. That really isn't much. There are tens-of-thousands of porn actors in the world, so I'm thinking the spooge flood would be a lot bigger than 60 gal.
 
2012-04-09 03:52:58 PM  
They say 30% is also netflix. Imagine if netflix added porn?
 
2012-04-09 03:53:33 PM  
Sara Stone.
 
2012-04-09 03:57:36 PM  

Gigwave: They say 30% is also netflix. Imagine if netflix added porn?


netflix used to have softcore porn, and even a few titles that had some more hardcore in them. they got rid of them when they made the push to the mainstream about 10-12 years ago.

/about the time i canceled my subscription.
 
2012-04-09 03:58:34 PM  
Odoriferous Queef:
Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.

I remember a study which asserted that people who had 14.4K modems got more excited by porn than those with 56K modems. Now, how they studied that, I don't know. Probably the whole thing was just a ploy by a guy who liked to watch people get off to porn and somehow bamboozled the NIH to fund his study.
 
2012-04-09 03:59:11 PM  
I think cats are a big part of that 70%.
 
2012-04-09 03:59:55 PM  
"30% of all web traffic is porn, according to a report"

farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2012-04-09 04:00:11 PM  
Obvious 30% of all web traffic is porn. The other 70% is cats and Fark (69)
 
2012-04-09 04:00:53 PM  

quartercomma: Odoriferous Queef:
Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.

I remember a study which asserted that people who had 14.4K modems got more excited by porn than those with 56K modems. Now, how they studied that, I don't know. Probably the whole thing was just a ploy by a guy who liked to watch people get off to porn and somehow bamboozled the NIH to fund his study.


he probably just wanted somebody to pay for him to get a new 56k modem, so he came up with a way to test his theory.
 
2012-04-09 04:01:37 PM  

Prof. Frink: Onkel Buck: Also in one year the male porn actors combined ejaculate 60 gallons of semen.
Heard that in a documentay, so it has to be true

/wonder how much money a jizz mopper makes?

The jizz-mopper doesn't pull much. It's the fluffer who's making it hand-over-fist.


You said a mouthful.
 
2012-04-09 04:02:01 PM  

MoronLessOff: Odoriferous Queef: MoronLessOff: NationalHero: I imagine that before Facebook porn was more like 75% of the internet.


-fondly remembers waiting for dial-up boobies

-fondly dozens of floppies.
The disks! I stored the perkies on the floppies.

Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.

This. I kept those disks under lock and key. I handled them with white gloves...because teenagers get that stuff on everything.


Sometimes, I wouldn't even get to see the porn. I'd be done before the modem connection signal ended. It was Pavlovian.
 
2012-04-09 04:02:34 PM  
"The biggest porn site on the web - Xvideos"...."It then used these figures - and actual data from the third biggest porn site, YouPorn". So #2 is...xhamster?
 
2012-04-09 04:05:55 PM  
So if my laid-off friend the crazy red-head was considering starting a cam site, any recommended domains for her to investigate? I'd almost point her to Suicide Girls but she doesn't have nearly enough tattoos... and the one she followed from an ad may have tried to install malware so I told her not to do that again.
 
2012-04-09 04:07:16 PM  
The internet:

30% porn
30% lolcats
30% youtube comments
10% mugshot roundups

The part on the Venn diagram where all those things overlap? DO NOT CLICK ON THAT.
 
2012-04-09 04:08:08 PM  

ladyfortuna: So if my laid-off friend the crazy red-head was considering starting a cam site, any recommended domains for her to investigate? I'd almost point her to Suicide Girls but she doesn't have nearly enough tattoos... and the one she followed from an ad may have tried to install malware so I told her not to do that again.


I believe there is a farker out there that runs one, he asked for test users a while back, but i'm not sure what ever happened to it.
 
2012-04-09 04:09:28 PM  

medius:

Sometimes, I wouldn't even get to see the porn. I'd be done before the modem connection signal ended. It was Pavlovian.


LOL!

Beeeeeeeeeep-squawk-brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip

Oh yeah, baby, that was awesome.
 
2012-04-09 04:10:55 PM  

king_nacho: ladyfortuna: So if my laid-off friend the crazy red-head was considering starting a cam site, any recommended domains for her to investigate? I'd almost point her to Suicide Girls but she doesn't have nearly enough tattoos... and the one she followed from an ad may have tried to install malware so I told her not to do that again.

I believe there is a farker out there that runs one, he asked for test users a while back, but i'm not sure what ever happened to it.


Not the sundress photo pervert?
 
2012-04-09 04:12:38 PM  

King Something: Only 30%?


They must be counting newsgroups in the wrong category.
 
2012-04-09 04:12:59 PM  

Jake Havechek: king_nacho: ladyfortuna: So if my laid-off friend the crazy red-head was considering starting a cam site, any recommended domains for her to investigate? I'd almost point her to Suicide Girls but she doesn't have nearly enough tattoos... and the one she followed from an ad may have tried to install malware so I told her not to do that again.

I believe there is a farker out there that runs one, he asked for test users a while back, but i'm not sure what ever happened to it.

Not the sundress photo pervert?


don't think so, IIRC it was a TF thing that he got the mods to approve.
 
2012-04-09 04:13:40 PM  

King Something: Only 30%?


Free porn videos are low resolution.

Netflix does HD.
 
2012-04-09 04:15:25 PM  

ensign_noname: King Something: Only 30%?

They must be counting newsgroups in the wrong category.


newsgroups aren't the web, they are part of the internet. generally people classify the web as http or https.

newgroups are nntp, technically torrents are also not the web, and if you really want to get down to it, most streaming video still isn't web as it runs over UDP on some rtsp variant.
 
2012-04-09 04:17:52 PM  
I'm guessing porn, facebook, youtube, and netflix combines to over 90%.
 
2012-04-09 04:18:15 PM  
At that rate, I must spend about 1:40 on the internet everyday.
 
2012-04-09 04:18:47 PM  
Is it wrong that I don't use the internet for porn?
 
2012-04-09 04:19:15 PM  
porn = pussies
cats = pussies
fark = pussies
that's 100%
 
2012-04-09 04:19:34 PM  

minoridiot: Is it wrong that I don't use the internet for porn?


yes
 
2012-04-09 04:20:29 PM  

ladyfortuna: So if my laid-off friend the crazy red-head was considering starting a cam site, any recommended domains for her to investigate? I'd almost point her to Suicide Girls but she doesn't have nearly enough tattoos... and the one she followed from an ad may have tried to install malware so I told her not to do that again.


1st, not all SG models are loaded with tattoos. But they do all seem to have at least one good one. 2nd, I'm sure there are a few AW's that might be able to offer some advice, but I won't be naming names. 3rd, if any test users are needed, my services are officially volunteered.
 
2012-04-09 04:20:33 PM  

quartercomma: Beeeeeeeeeep-squawk-brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip


Child of the '70s: assumes you were fapping to internet porn via dial-up modem

Child of the '90s: assumes you were fapping to Skrillex
 
2012-04-09 04:22:20 PM  

JackieRabbit: I think 30% is a bit high, but ... Years ago, on-line porn earned more money than all forms of other e-commerce combined. But what about now? Does anyone actually pay money to watch porn on-line? How does the porn industry make so much money?


Indeed, I am also way curious as to how these sites make actual money. I have done my share of occasional pron-surfery, but I have never (since the inception of the interweb) actually PAID for it.

I bet there is a farker out there who has worked in the biz, even if only on the I.T. side, who can explain this conundrum.
 
2012-04-09 04:31:35 PM  
Rule 43;
Hookers and Porn. If you don't pay for it, it doesn't count.
 
2012-04-09 04:31:44 PM  

Optimus Primate: JackieRabbit: I think 30% is a bit high, but ... Years ago, on-line porn earned more money than all forms of other e-commerce combined. But what about now? Does anyone actually pay money to watch porn on-line? How does the porn industry make so much money?

Indeed, I am also way curious as to how these sites make actual money. I have done my share of occasional pron-surfery, but I have never (since the inception of the interweb) actually PAID for it.

I bet there is a farker out there who has worked in the biz, even if only on the I.T. side, who can explain this conundrum.


I've not worked in it specifically, but i'd be willing to bet mob money is involved somewhere.
 
2012-04-09 04:31:58 PM  
james.seng.sg

This far in the thread, and this hasn't been posted?
 
2012-04-09 04:33:32 PM  

Optimus Primate: JackieRabbit: I think 30% is a bit high, but ... Years ago, on-line porn earned more money than all forms of other e-commerce combined. But what about now? Does anyone actually pay money to watch porn on-line? How does the porn industry make so much money?

Indeed, I am also way curious as to how these sites make actual money. I have done my share of occasional pron-surfery, but I have never (since the inception of the interweb) actually PAID for it.

I bet there is a farker out there who has worked in the biz, even if only on the I.T. side, who can explain this conundrum.


I imagine there are still subscribers out there. This, in addition to appearances (signings) DVD and "merchandise" sales, they're probably doing alright.
 
2012-04-09 04:36:46 PM  

medius: MoronLessOff: Odoriferous Queef: MoronLessOff: NationalHero: I imagine that before Facebook porn was more like 75% of the internet.


-fondly remembers waiting for dial-up boobies

-fondly dozens of floppies.
The disks! I stored the perkies on the floppies.

Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.

This. I kept those disks under lock and key. I handled them with white gloves...because teenagers get that stuff on everything.

Sometimes, I wouldn't even get to see the porn. I'd be done before the modem connection signal ended. It was Pavlovian.


So, bonk, bonk, buzzzn, buzzzn, beeep, beeep gets you up?
 
2012-04-09 04:38:25 PM  

snocone: medius: MoronLessOff: Odoriferous Queef: MoronLessOff: NationalHero: I imagine that before Facebook porn was more like 75% of the internet.


-fondly remembers waiting for dial-up boobies

-fondly dozens of floppies.
The disks! I stored the perkies on the floppies.

Ah the good old days! Point your usenet reader at alt.pictures.binary.erotica and pull down a single gif in 5 to 12 parts, Cat them together. Uudecode them and view with xv. Only then could you see what you downloaded. Figure about 5 to 15 minutes per picture. You really appreciated your porn because it took so much work.

This. I kept those disks under lock and key. I handled them with white gloves...because teenagers get that stuff on everything.

Sometimes, I wouldn't even get to see the porn. I'd be done before the modem connection signal ended. It was Pavlovian.

So, bonk, bonk, buzzzn, buzzzn, beeep, beeep gets you up?


Well, I know a little "bonk bonk buzz buzz" does it for me, if you know what I mean.
 
2012-04-09 04:39:49 PM  

quartercomma: Beeeeeeeeeep-squawk-brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip

Oh yeah, baby, that was awesome.


I still ejaculate to the same cadence:

skeet skeet skeet, blaaaaaaargh
 
2012-04-09 04:40:45 PM  

Optimus Primate: JackieRabbit: I think 30% is a bit high, but ... Years ago, on-line porn earned more money than all forms of other e-commerce combined. But what about now? Does anyone actually pay money to watch porn on-line? How does the porn industry make so much money?

Indeed, I am also way curious as to how these sites make actual money. I have done my share of occasional pron-surfery, but I have never (since the inception of the interweb) actually PAID for it.

I bet there is a farker out there who has worked in the biz, even if only on the I.T. side, who can explain this conundrum.


I'm no expert, but not too long ago I discovered that my dad was still buying porn on DVD, although using some website I'd never heard of to place the orders (I happened across an order confirmation while troubleshooting a printer problem for him). I did teach him how to use BitTorrent several years ago, but as far as I can tell he has only ever used it to download audiobooks.

I highly doubt that people like him are the whole story, though.
 
Displayed 50 of 190 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report