FTA:The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

Huh, so that's how Dick Cheney got a new heart.

I'll bet the people who discovered their bodies and attempted CPR appreciated it.

Hand sanitizer high works best when you snort it.

Internal Organs is nothing to laugh about. I mean it. I'M TALKING TO YOU FARK.

They should try heroin. I find that people who try it are very loyal to the brand.

So you'll end up a drooling vegetable but hey, your drool will be minty fresh.

Win some. Lose some.

/mostly lose

I had a landlord that was a Listerine drunk. Part of my rental agreement was to keep the lawns mowed-the mower and stuff being kept in a small, locked shed in the back yard. The first time I went to mow the lawn there were about fifteen empty, giant economy-size bottles stacked along one wall. I didn't think much about it.

As the months went by the number of empties kept increasing. A lot. So much so that it was becoming difficult to get the mower in and out of the shed. I resolved to ask him about it next time he was over.

The next week-having neither seen nor spoken to the guy, I head out to do some serious mowing and notice the shed door ajar. I mosey on over and open the door to find my soon to be ex-landlord frothing and twitching on the ground in some kind of mouthwash induced fit. Now, while he did smell minty fresh, I wasn't about to do mouth-to-mouth on this guy if it became necessary. CPR? Sure. MtM. Not a chance.

Anywho, the EMTs show up but it's a bit late. The poor bastard didn't even make it out of the shed.

csb

/wouldn't be an EMT
//for all the rum in the Caribbean
///too much like work

So does this mean I'm going to have to show a drivers license to buy purell?

Nice things. This is why we can't have.

Was the fail tag too busy drooling and frothing from mouthwash and hand sanitizer to be used? Fail on the people doing this, and fail on the quality of the article.

I must have been drinking this stuff from birth... because I have ALWAYS had internal organs... most of which still work to some extent.

As for the baddy stuff about it.. I can see no other recourse other than immediately banning those items for the safety of all good, law abiding citizens!

Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs


What a way to go. You shiat yourself blind and don't even remember it.

I laughed.

The tax revenue is important. So important that I think we should put deadly chemicals to ensure that if people do ingest it, they will be horribly hurt and possibly killed. Have to protect our business afterall.

I know an internal organ I want to accidentally damage.

/vagina

mikdeetx: I know an internal organ I want to accidentally damage.

/vagina

It's not an organ, but I like your style.

ambassador_ahab: Are they trying to say that getting drunk from drinking this stuff is more dangerous than getting drunk from drinking booze/beer/wine/etc.?

Not sure about the mouthwash, but I have seen hand sanitizer that included Ethylene Glycol as one of the components.

Pontious Pilates: So does this mean I'm going to have to show a drivers license to buy purell?

Nice things. This is why we can't have.

No, it's just means that the cashier might not let you buy the items if you appear to be drunk.

That policy is sure to be a total success.

Pontious Pilates: So does this mean I'm going to have to show a drivers license to buy purell?

Nice things. This is why we can't have.

Probably - in a few months some "tough on crime" politician will propose putting both of these behind the pharmacy counter.

/wishes we could put politicians behind a counter where they'd do less damage.

lol@ reverse-jenkem
subby, i love you

ShawnDoc: Subby, if its alcohol, the kids aren't getting high. They're getting drunk. The reason we don't use the term "high", is because "getting high" is what losers do when they use illegal drugs. We use the term drunk for alcohol, because everyone gets drunk and its perfectly socially acceptable.

So remember:

Alcohol = Drunk = Good
Anything Else = High = Evil

Damn, I remember being a teenager in the late 70's when everyone had pot and underage drinking wasn't a money making issue abnormal. Kids these days are screwed.

Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs


What a way to go. You shiat yourself blind and don't even remember it.

Would you rather remember it?

Bah. In my day, we had to drink gasoline mixed with sulphuric acid to get high. Kids these days.

Kids, you NEVER go reverse-jenkum. Never!

ambassador_ahab: Are they trying to say that getting drunk from drinking this stuff is more dangerous than getting drunk from drinking booze/beer/wine/etc.?

As a teenager before I had a fake ID, I'd drink Listerine as well as vanilla extract (that shiat is brutal straight, but you do what you gotta do.) I suppose it did cause me to have internal organs, but I didn't notice any other side effects different from any other drink.


I never could figure out what it was with alcoholics. When I was in High School I would be out in the woods at lunchtime getting baked with some guys and the drunkie kids would be out there with their bottles of vodak or whatever, and they'd be chugging the shiat like it was going out of style, mostly alone, while the stoners would be happy smoking a couple of doobs with six or seven other dudes and a couple of girls and going back in. I aced history class, chemistry class, drivers education and biology being pretty baked. I passed my drivers exam stoned and haven't had a moving violation in 27 years.

While the band geeks and the superjocks and the pretty popular people were staggering around the classroom and knocking shiat over, or in one case, mixing Acetic Acid and Acetaldehyde and then dumping it down the sink when the beaker got too hot to hold on to, I was following the instructions and getting the results the teacher was looking for.

But us pot-heads were the evil ones. The ones that couldn't be trusted. The ones that got suspended when we were caught.

ambassador_ahab:

As a teenager before I had a fake ID, I'd drink Listerine as well as vanilla extract (that shiat is brutal straight, but you do what you gotta do.) I suppose it did cause me to have internal organs, but I didn't notice any other side effects different from any other drink.

really?....really? I never had a fake, I also never had a issue getting someone to buy me my vodak

/used to love vodak
//now its whiskey of the irish or scotch variety