FARK.com: (7038324) Kids are going reverse-jenkum by getting high on hand sanitizer and mouthwash cocktails

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		Kids are going reverse-jenkum by getting high on hand sanitizer and mouthwash cocktails (kob.com)		129
		More: Unlikely, Albuquerque, Feist, Listerine, hand sanitizer, hygiene, homicides, Albuquerque Police Department

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6162 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2012 at 7:54 AM | Favorite | share:

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gopher321		2012-04-07 08:52:32 PM

The fark?

Shostie		2012-04-07 08:55:55 PM

Bathia_Mapes		2012-04-07 09:03:11 PM

FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

What a way to go. You shiat yourself blind and don't even remember it.

xenophon10k		2012-04-07 09:03:21 PM

"The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs. It's not reversible,"

I didn't know internal organs were something you got from alcohol poisoning. Wait, were they harvesting organs from the people they killed?

Evenbiggerknickers		2012-04-07 09:04:12 PM

FTA"The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs."

pardon me?

bojon		2012-04-07 09:05:56 PM

It keeps them away from the bath salts.

Britney Spear's Speculum		2012-04-07 09:08:23 PM

FTA:The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

Huh, so that's how Dick Cheney got a new heart.

Marcus Aurelius		2012-04-07 09:09:53 PM

When I was a kid a banana peel cocktail injected into the cerebellum was all the rage whenever you ran out of pot.

Lesson learned: don't run out of pot.

/don't do it

Marcus Aurelius		2012-04-07 09:10:59 PM

Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

What a way to go. You shiat yourself blind and don't even remember it.

But that's nothing compared to the effects of marijuana, which are... ummm. hold on my cat is saying something

Ed Finnerty		2012-04-07 09:13:51 PM

I'll bet the people who discovered their bodies and attempted CPR appreciated it.

snuffy		2012-04-07 09:21:02 PM

kicks just keep getting harder to find.

since they say the effect are not reversible, does that qualify as a self cleansing problem?

snuffy		2012-04-07 09:22:25 PM

edmo		2012-04-07 09:40:56 PM

Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

So it's like teleporting to the old folks home.

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-04-07 09:49:03 PM

Bless their hearts

foo monkey		2012-04-07 10:23:14 PM

Hand sanitizer high works best when you snort it.

Somacandra		2012-04-07 10:37:50 PM

Except for the "beating others to death while on it" aspect, it sounds like mostly a self-correcting problem.

Somacandra		2012-04-07 10:38:56 PM

Evenbiggerknickers: pardon me?

They accidentally the internal organs.

kxs401		2012-04-07 10:48:58 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: FTA:The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

Huh, so that's how Dick Cheney got a new heart.

From one of the army of headless clones he keeps on ice in his volcano lair?

Mugato		2012-04-07 10:51:00 PM

They're also concerned about these items being used by kids.

Something was going to get these kids eventually. Drowning from opening your mouth in a rain storm, putting an aerosol can in the microwave, Yelling the n-word in South Central at night, something.

dave1y		2012-04-07 11:00:30 PM

Internal Organs is nothing to laugh about. I mean it. I'M TALKING TO YOU FARK.

Bathia_Mapes		2012-04-07 11:01:36 PM

snuffy: Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

What a way to go. You shiat yourself blind and don't even remember it.

damn the funny button is gone.

Be patient. The buttons aren't enabled until the thread goes to regular fark. :-D

Bathia_Mapes		2012-04-07 11:06:15 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bless their hearts

Well, what's left of them.

TsarTom		2012-04-07 11:55:00 PM

When I used to work at a corner grocery in a rundown pat of town, a couple of the neighborhood bums would always come in looking for Listerine and Mountain Dew. It apparently packs a punch.

Relatively Obscure		2012-04-08 12:40:33 AM

I have internal organs. Did I do this and lose all memory of it?!

ShawnDoc		2012-04-08 02:01:23 AM

Subby, if its alcohol, the kids aren't getting high. They're getting drunk. The reason we don't use the term "high", is because "getting high" is what losers do when they use illegal drugs. We use the term drunk for alcohol, because everyone gets drunk and its perfectly socially acceptable.

So remember:

Alcohol = Drunk = Good
Anything Else = High = Evil

TheXerox		2012-04-08 04:05:39 AM

Man, kids these days. When I was their age we used to snort pixy stix, occasionally we'd grind up smarties and use those as cutter to go along with the pixy stix. Nowadays, it seems as if they're raiding grandma and grandpa's bathroom for highs, it's damn shame I tell ya, damn shame.

r1niceboy		2012-04-08 04:57:44 AM

They should try heroin. I find that people who try it are very loyal to the brand.

Archie Goodwin		2012-04-08 05:17:26 AM

So you'll end up a drooling vegetable but hey, your drool will be minty fresh.

Win some. Lose some.

/mostly lose

dprathbun		2012-04-08 06:45:55 AM

I had a landlord that was a Listerine drunk. Part of my rental agreement was to keep the lawns mowed-the mower and stuff being kept in a small, locked shed in the back yard. The first time I went to mow the lawn there were about fifteen empty, giant economy-size bottles stacked along one wall. I didn't think much about it.

As the months went by the number of empties kept increasing. A lot. So much so that it was becoming difficult to get the mower in and out of the shed. I resolved to ask him about it next time he was over.

The next week-having neither seen nor spoken to the guy, I head out to do some serious mowing and notice the shed door ajar. I mosey on over and open the door to find my soon to be ex-landlord frothing and twitching on the ground in some kind of mouthwash induced fit. Now, while he did smell minty fresh, I wasn't about to do mouth-to-mouth on this guy if it became necessary. CPR? Sure. MtM. Not a chance.

Anywho, the EMTs show up but it's a bit late. The poor bastard didn't even make it out of the shed.

csb

/wouldn't be an EMT
//for all the rum in the Caribbean
///too much like work

Cuchulane		2012-04-08 07:48:22 AM

dprathbun: I had a landlord that was a Listerine drunk. Part of my rental agreement was to keep the lawns mowed-the mower and stuff being kept in a small, locked shed in the back yard. The first time I went to mow the lawn there were about fifteen empty, giant economy-size bottles stacked along one wall. I didn't think much about it.

As the months went by the number of empties kept increasing. A lot. So much so that it was becoming difficult to get the mower in and out of the shed. I resolved to ask him about it next time he was over.

The next week-having neither seen nor spoken to the guy, I head out to do some serious mowing and notice the shed door ajar. I mosey on over and open the door to find my soon to be ex-landlord frothing and twitching on the ground in some kind of mouthwash induced fit. Now, while he did smell minty fresh, I wasn't about to do mouth-to-mouth on this guy if it became necessary. CPR? Sure. MtM. Not a chance.

Anywho, the EMTs show up but it's a bit late. The poor bastard didn't even make it out of the shed.

csb

/wouldn't be an EMT
//for all the rum in the Caribbean
///too much like work

img205.imageshack.us

Sorry, couldn't resist

Pontious Pilates		2012-04-08 08:02:21 AM

So does this mean I'm going to have to show a drivers license to buy purell?

Nice things. This is why we can't have.

ambassador_ahab		2012-04-08 08:09:26 AM

Are they trying to say that getting drunk from drinking this stuff is more dangerous than getting drunk from drinking booze/beer/wine/etc.?

As a teenager before I had a fake ID, I'd drink Listerine as well as vanilla extract (that shiat is brutal straight, but you do what you gotta do.) I suppose it did cause me to have internal organs, but I didn't notice any other side effects different from any other drink.

Creoena		2012-04-08 08:23:21 AM

Was the fail tag too busy drooling and frothing from mouthwash and hand sanitizer to be used? Fail on the people doing this, and fail on the quality of the article.

TheMega		2012-04-08 08:23:22 AM

I must have been drinking this stuff from birth... because I have ALWAYS had internal organs... most of which still work to some extent.

As for the baddy stuff about it.. I can see no other recourse other than immediately banning those items for the safety of all good, law abiding citizens!

derrrface		2012-04-08 08:26:51 AM

Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The effects on these people can be diarrhea, blindness, memory loss and internal organs

What a way to go. You shiat yourself blind and don't even remember it.

I laughed.

kim jong-un		2012-04-08 08:28:12 AM

The tax revenue is important. So important that I think we should put deadly chemicals to ensure that if people do ingest it, they will be horribly hurt and possibly killed. Have to protect our business afterall.

mikdeetx		2012-04-08 08:28:30 AM

I know an internal organ I want to accidentally damage.

/vagina

BurnShrike		2012-04-08 08:30:12 AM

mikdeetx: I know an internal organ I want to accidentally damage.

/vagina

It's not an organ, but I like your style.

kim jong-un		2012-04-08 08:31:01 AM

ambassador_ahab: Are they trying to say that getting drunk from drinking this stuff is more dangerous than getting drunk from drinking booze/beer/wine/etc.?

Not sure about the mouthwash, but I have seen hand sanitizer that included Ethylene Glycol as one of the components.

Fromageball		2012-04-08 08:36:14 AM

Pontious Pilates: So does this mean I'm going to have to show a drivers license to buy purell?

Nice things. This is why we can't have.

No, it's just means that the cashier might not let you buy the items if you appear to be drunk.

That policy is sure to be a total success.

arasmin		2012-04-08 08:36:30 AM

Pontious Pilates: So does this mean I'm going to have to show a drivers license to buy purell?

Nice things. This is why we can't have.

Probably - in a few months some "tough on crime" politician will propose putting both of these behind the pharmacy counter.

/wishes we could put politicians behind a counter where they'd do less damage.

Kurmudgeon		2012-04-08 08:37:57 AM

ambassador_ahab		2012-04-08 08:38:17 AM

kim jong-un: Ethylene Glycol

Isn't that one of the ingredients in "Mio" liquid beverage enhancer? I think that stuff is pretty tasty and I don't feel any more internal organs than I used to.

Pathman		2012-04-08 08:38:19 AM

lol@ reverse-jenkem
subby, i love you

AbbeySomeone		2012-04-08 08:40:50 AM

ShawnDoc: Subby, if its alcohol, the kids aren't getting high. They're getting drunk. The reason we don't use the term "high", is because "getting high" is what losers do when they use illegal drugs. We use the term drunk for alcohol, because everyone gets drunk and its perfectly socially acceptable.

So remember:

Alcohol = Drunk = Good
Anything Else = High = Evil

Damn, I remember being a teenager in the late 70's when everyone had pot and underage drinking wasn't ~~a money making issue~~ abnormal. Kids these days are screwed.

HaywoodJablonski		2012-04-08 08:46:17 AM

Coming on a Bicycle		2012-04-08 08:46:29 AM

Bah. In my day, we had to drink gasoline mixed with sulphuric acid to get high. Kids these days.

xharfire		2012-04-08 08:50:32 AM

Kids, you NEVER go reverse-jenkum. Never!

Deathfrogg		2012-04-08 08:53:02 AM

ambassador_ahab: Are they trying to say that getting drunk from drinking this stuff is more dangerous than getting drunk from drinking booze/beer/wine/etc.?

As a teenager before I had a fake ID, I'd drink Listerine as well as vanilla extract (that shiat is brutal straight, but you do what you gotta do.) I suppose it did cause me to have internal organs, but I didn't notice any other side effects different from any other drink.

I never could figure out what it was with alcoholics. When I was in High School I would be out in the woods at lunchtime getting baked with some guys and the drunkie kids would be out there with their bottles of vodak or whatever, and they'd be chugging the shiat like it was going out of style, mostly alone, while the stoners would be happy smoking a couple of doobs with six or seven other dudes and a couple of girls and going back in. I aced history class, chemistry class, drivers education and biology being pretty baked. I passed my drivers exam stoned and haven't had a moving violation in 27 years.

While the band geeks and the superjocks and the pretty popular people were staggering around the classroom and knocking shiat over, or in one case, mixing Acetic Acid and Acetaldehyde and then dumping it down the sink when the beaker got too hot to hold on to, I was following the instructions and getting the results the teacher was looking for.

But us pot-heads were the evil ones. The ones that couldn't be trusted. The ones that got suspended when we were caught.

tweek46420		2012-04-08 08:57:37 AM

ambassador_ahab:

As a teenager before I had a fake ID, I'd drink Listerine as well as vanilla extract (that shiat is brutal straight, but you do what you gotta do.) I suppose it did cause me to have internal organs, but I didn't notice any other side effects different from any other drink.

really?....really? I never had a fake, I also never had a issue getting someone to buy me my vodak

/used to love vodak
//now its whiskey of the irish or scotch variety

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