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(TMZ)   Lana Del Rey is dating Axl Rose. Nothing good can come of this   (tmz.com) divider line 100
    More: Sick, Axl Rose, Chateau Marmont  
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13356 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Apr 2012 at 11:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-07 09:44:49 PM  
Lana Del Rey is dating Axl Rose.

Yup, that sounds about right.

Water seeks its own level.
 
2012-04-07 10:05:16 PM  
Can you imagine the self-absorbed, egotistical child they would spawn?
 
2012-04-07 10:19:16 PM  
Talentless singer whose reputation was mostly built up by indie critics (and good producers) + OK singer whose reputation was mostly built up by rock critics (and a great band to back him up)?

Yeah, this works on more levels than I thought.

She's gonna have to make a lot of trips to Dunkin' Donuts though.
 
2012-04-07 10:23:39 PM  
Some chick I've never heard of is dating some jerk I don't care about.

I'm OK with this
 
2012-04-07 10:33:03 PM  
Fat lips loves fat face.
 
2012-04-07 10:43:06 PM  
Any bets on whether Lana Del Rey was raped by her daddy?
 
2012-04-07 11:07:22 PM  
All I know is her lyrics sound like a middle school student wrote them.
 
2012-04-07 11:10:54 PM  
Nothing good, subby? What about the inevitable lulz?
 
2012-04-07 11:12:05 PM  
A double-date with Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson is imminent...
 
2012-04-07 11:15:11 PM  
Appetite for Destruction
 
2012-04-07 11:19:44 PM  
Lana Del Rey, as I understand, is essentially a caricature. Okay, whatever. Now, from the one time I listened to that album, I did pick on some weirdly intense sexual vibes, which seem to point to "Lana" being something of a submissive, wannabe starf*cker.

My point is, "Lana" is super method, apparently.
 
2012-04-07 11:34:29 PM  
Who? Never heard of her.

----- listening to Billy Thorpe's Children of the Sun
 
2012-04-07 11:35:37 PM  
All right, googled her:
Elizabeth Woolridge Grant[5] (born June 21, 1986), better known by her stage name Lana Del Rey, is an American singer and songwriter. She has been described as a "self-styled gangsta Nancy Sinatra",[6] and cites Britney Spears,[7][8][9] Eminem [10] and Antony and the Johnsons amongst her musical influences.[7]

Sounds shiattacular.
 
2012-04-07 11:37:30 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-07 11:39:47 PM  
I keep losing track of all these flavor of the week chicks. Lana Del who?
 
2012-04-07 11:43:53 PM  
Dating Axshole Rose? More likely he's got her dressed in a metal bikini and chained to his platform.

Boonowa tweepi!
 
2012-04-07 11:44:16 PM  

dmc001: I keep losing track of all these flavor of the week chicks. Lana Del who?


I think she was the one who went on SNL with a lot of hype and ended up sounding horrible.
 
2012-04-07 11:47:23 PM  

Serial: dmc001: I keep losing track of all these flavor of the week chicks. Lana Del who?

I think she was the one who went on SNL with a lot of hype and ended up sounding horrible.


That's half the music guests every year. The other half lip-sync.
 
2012-04-07 11:49:27 PM  
Look on the bright side... maybe it'll be 15 years before we get another Lana Del Ray album.
 
2012-04-07 11:53:03 PM  
she keeps downgrading
Shannon Leto -> Marilyn Manson -> Axl Rose

who's next... Randy Newman?
 
2012-04-07 11:56:05 PM  
troll.me

cdn.nextround.net

28.media.tumblr.com

lh4.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-04-08 12:07:14 AM  
Lana Del Rey is dating Axl Rose. Nothing good can come of this

Except a new ice cream flavor, you mean.

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-08 12:30:38 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-08 12:35:33 AM  
Hey, has anybody yet implied that Axl Rose is fat?

/Now get to work on making fun of his voice
 
2012-04-08 12:35:51 AM  

rogue49: Appetite for Destruction


Appetite for Delicatessen, more like.

IMHO
 
2012-04-08 12:40:17 AM  

velvet_fog: [troll.me image 303x189]

[cdn.nextround.net image 350x322]

[28.media.tumblr.com image 467x700]

[lh4.googleusercontent.com image 349x363]


That list pic actually probably puts him on the lighter side of americans, and definitely farkers, especially for his age.
 
2012-04-08 12:47:22 AM  
Where is your god now?
 
2012-04-08 12:52:36 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: Some chick I've never heard of is dating some jerk I don't care about.

I'm OK with this


^ Yep
 
2012-04-08 12:57:59 AM  
I feel bad.... for Axl.
 
2012-04-08 12:59:31 AM  
That guy has some serious issues with women. She deserves the beatings that she is going to get.
 
2012-04-08 01:04:41 AM  

Smackledorfer: velvet_fog: [troll.me image 303x189]

[cdn.nextround.net image 350x322]

[28.media.tumblr.com image 467x700]

[lh4.googleusercontent.com image 349x363]

That list pic actually probably puts him on the lighter side of americans, and definitely farkers, especially for his age.


He's got the Type I diabeetus (not the kind you get from being fat, but the kind you just get), so after 30 years of drug and alcohol abuse, I'm actually surprised he isn't dead.

I'm also wondering what kind of bill he has to pay back that is making him tour this past year. He was apparently just fine being a hermit not making Chinese Democracy, but something put a bug in his butt about earning money. I wonder if he has to cover the spread he was paid for Chinese Democracy vs. what it actually earned. Wouldn't surprise me.

That said, people reviewing his shows say he's doing a good job, so good on him.
 
2012-04-08 01:09:25 AM  
Nothing good can come of this

Maybe it'll create a singularity of suck so strong that the two will be pulled together into a cosmic abyss.

/pullin' Axl will take some work
 
2012-04-08 01:09:48 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 480x396]


Yay!

I'm really hoping this turns into one of those threads where everyone rewrites lyrics; honestly some of the funniest stuff on fark.
 
2012-04-08 01:10:10 AM  

velvet_fog: [troll.me image 303x189]

[cdn.nextround.net image 350x322]

[28.media.tumblr.com image 467x700]

[lh4.googleusercontent.com image 349x363]


He must have a serious lack of self-awareness. Most entertainers who've put on that much weight have the good sense to keep their shirt on. Or hell, maybe even start hitting the gym, if they know they're going to be performing again soon.

Oh, and as for Lana Del Rey, I think this quote of hers sums her up:

"I wanted to be part of a high-class scene of musicians. It was half-inspired because I didn't have many friends, and I was hoping that I would meet people and fall in love and start a community around me, the way they used to do in the '60s.


The Marsalis family mocks your attempts to be pretentious.
 
2012-04-08 01:18:36 AM  
Use your Glutens, I & II
 
2012-04-08 01:30:56 AM  

Lsherm: I'm also wondering what kind of bill he has to pay back that is making him tour this past year. He was apparently just fine being a hermit not making Chinese Democracy, but something put a bug in his butt about earning money. I wonder if he has to cover the spread he was paid for Chinese Democracy vs. what it actually earned. Wouldn't surprise me.


I haven't really listened to Chinese Democracy, but I hadn't heard much about it being a huge flop or anything.

Anything from boredom to denial of old age could be at the core of this too. Or wanting more cash to do interesting things with lana with. I know I for one can't place all the blame on my spending habits on the women in my life over the years, despite that if they weren't there at all I'd be infinitely more of a cheap ass. The whole "doing things outside" is just so much more appealing with one by your side.
 
2012-04-08 01:34:30 AM  

Annoyance: Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 480x396]

Yay!

I'm really hoping this turns into one of those threads where everyone rewrites lyrics; honestly some of the funniest stuff on fark.


I've been dancin' with
Mr. Tombstone
He's been bakin'
He won't leave me alone
 
2012-04-08 01:47:32 AM  
Desperate pokes for desperate folks.
 
2012-04-08 02:11:52 AM  
Wasn't she banging Barry Manilow last week?

I think she could be very good if she takes some singing lessons.
 
2012-04-08 02:24:20 AM  

Smackledorfer: I haven't really listened to Chinese Democracy, but I hadn't heard much about it being a huge flop or anything.


It flopped. It sold, tops, 3 million copies. That didn't pay for advertising, much less the 12 million Rose got before the album was completed.

I'm guessing he's working to pay off that label loan so he can start getting money from his royalties again. He signed those over when he wasn't working, and he won't get them back until the loan is paid off.
 
2012-04-08 02:25:17 AM  
Annoyance: Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 480x396]

Yay!

I'm really hoping this turns into one of those threads where everyone rewrites lyrics; honestly some of the funniest stuff on fark.


I've been licking the streets at night
just trying to eat it right
Cuz i once found a cruller with nobody around,
but i couldn't pull it out, it was stuck in the ground
 
2012-04-08 02:36:01 AM  
Lsherm


Smartest
Funniest

2012-04-08 02:24:20 AM

Smackledorfer: I haven't really listened to Chinese Democracy, but I hadn't heard much about it being a huge flop or anything.

It flopped. It sold, tops, 3 million copies.


3 million copies is a flop?
i lot of artists would LOVE to sell 3 million copies of their album!
 
2012-04-08 03:19:13 AM  
fark what fark thinks. Axl Rose is legendary.
 
2012-04-08 03:26:45 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Hey, has anybody yet implied that Axl Rose is fat?

/Now get to work on making fun of his voice


Oh, like how he sounds like he's attempting to gargle a live siamese cat?

and...
www.biggreenbeats.com

While she's cute, I've dealt with little Billy in the past... he has all the social appeal of a wolverine with distemper, only with less charm. I never understood what Stephanie Seymour saw in him.


I figure Lana is only in it for the songwriting potential, a la Taylor Swift
 
2012-04-08 03:38:09 AM  
Nothing good? What about a drunken car wreck? A double overdose? A screaming knife fight? From where I'm standing, this can only end well.
 
2012-04-08 04:09:50 AM  

LonMead: B.L.Z. Bub: Hey, has anybody yet implied that Axl Rose is fat?

/Now get to work on making fun of his voice

Oh, like how he sounds like he's attempting to gargle a live siamese cat?

and...
[www.biggreenbeats.com image 494x304]

While she's cute, I've dealt with little Billy in the past... he has all the social appeal of a wolverine with distemper, only with less charm. I never understood what Stephanie Seymour saw in him.


I figure Lana is only in it for the songwriting potential, a la Taylor Swift


Chick looks like Hermione.
/not that that's a bad thing.
 
2012-04-08 04:26:03 AM  

heinrich66: I think she could be very good if she takes some singing lessons.


This video of her is very worthwhile (new window)
 
2012-04-08 04:34:57 AM  

jaytkay: heinrich66: I think she could be very good if she takes some singing lessons.

This video of her is very worthwhile (new window)


Jesus that was funny.
 
2012-04-08 04:56:53 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com

I don't know if she wrote any of the album material but the album itself is brilliant. Probably a team of professionals but the product itself is great.

files.g4tv.com

I think the above is the perfect illustration of Lana Del Ray music.
 
2012-04-08 04:58:01 AM  
Bring me some soft serve
And is that cheesecake black tie?
Don't worry that I won't have
Some room for pie
I know you baked it special, I
Know your back is sore
But a single nine-inch pastry?
Babe I need more


Cause I want pie tonight
With some fondue baby
I want pie tonight
I want pie tonight
You make seven, I'll love you baby
Cause I want pie tonight


Need the crust crisper
Sugar that's refined
Leave this with me and you go
Check the next five
Bring them right when they're done now
Wasted food makes me so sad
I promise they'll be gone long
Before they go bad...baby


Cause I want pie tonight
I want pie tonight
I want pie tonight
You make seven, I'll love you baby
Cause I want pie tonight


And please remember I want one deep fried
And please remember
Whipped cream on the side now honey
Apple goes well with a cheese tray
Try it, see I'm right now sugar
No, you took to long and I
Just ate the last bite now baby


Cause I want pie tonight
Cause I want pie tonight
Cause I want pie tonight
You make seven, I'll love you baby
Cause I want pie
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
I want pie
I want some more pie
I want pie
Toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

/yeah shut up, I never said I was Weird Al
 
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