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(Gawker)   Hidden Valley Foods begins marketing campaign to get Americans to slather ranch dressing upon absolutely everything they eat. Yes, that thing. That one too. Can't forget those things, either   (gawker.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Hidden Valley, ranch dressing, condiments, Clorox, artificial flavors  
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7744 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2012 at 10:25 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-04-06 06:43:45 PM  
not on my pan cakes
 
2012-04-06 06:50:48 PM  
"The New 'Ketchup'" proclaims the label. It is affixed to a "retro-style" ketchup bottle to signal, "hey, this is ketchup," says Jon Balousek, vice president and general manager for the food, charcoal and cat-litter businesses at Clorox Co., which owns Hidden Valley.

And he successfully merged the divisions into one product, apparently. Give this guy a bonus.
 
2012-04-06 06:53:28 PM  
Good luck with that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that folks who like the stuff are decent people, but it's too much like mayonnaise for my liking, and no where near enough like sour cream, so I think I'll pass...
 
2012-04-06 06:57:01 PM  
I prefer bleu cheese, thanks
 
2012-04-06 06:58:08 PM  

hubiestubert: but it's too much like mayonnaise for my liking, and no where near enough like sour cream, so I think I'll pass...


What's the difference between the three?
 
2012-04-06 07:03:18 PM  

GAT_00: hubiestubert: but it's too much like mayonnaise for my liking, and no where near enough like sour cream, so I think I'll pass...

What's the difference between the three?


Buttermilk added into the mayonnaise. Some recipes add in sour cream as well. It is an odd dressing as far as I'm concerned, but I'll make it if folks really want it...
 
2012-04-06 07:11:51 PM  

hubiestubert: GAT_00: hubiestubert: but it's too much like mayonnaise for my liking, and no where near enough like sour cream, so I think I'll pass...

What's the difference between the three?

Buttermilk added into the mayonnaise. Some recipes add in sour cream as well. It is an odd dressing as far as I'm concerned, but I'll make it if folks really want it...


I was more pointing out that all three are terrible, but that's me.

Personally, Honey mustard or 1000 Island for chicken, Italian or Caesar for salads.
 
2012-04-06 07:16:37 PM  
I tell her to bring ranch dip over sometimes. It gets interesting/messy from there.
 
2012-04-06 07:18:30 PM  
I go through about a gallon of ranch a week. It would get expensive except for all of those men who pay to watch me eat on cam.
 
2012-04-06 08:15:28 PM  

NewportBarGuy: I tell her to bring ranch dip over sometimes. It gets interesting/messy from there.


Yeah, slather that gal in TFA with Ranch and I'm in.
 
2012-04-06 08:25:50 PM  

kxs401: I go through about a gallon of ranch a week. It would get expensive except for all of those men who pay to watch me eat on cam.


fap???
Yeah, fap!
 
2012-04-06 08:45:33 PM  
Saw my nephew eating cold pizza for breakfast a few months ago (great breakfast food), but he covered it in ranch dressing. My sister buys one of the huge bottles about once a week for him, he puts it on everything. She says all the kids his age (19) do that -- they grew up using it like ketchup.

/hate ranch dressing
 
2012-04-06 08:54:33 PM  

hubiestubert: Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that folks who like the stuff are decent people, but it's too much like mayonnaise for my liking, and no where near enough like sour cream, so I think I'll pass...


Allow me to introduce Wanda's Macaroni Salad to the thread. (pops)
 
2012-04-06 08:56:26 PM  
As for the sour cream comparison, would you believe that Daisy is running commercials during The Price Is Right that try to pitch sour cream as wholesome, nutritious, and healthy?

Sour cream. Healthy.

No. And the same goes for you, ranch dressing. Back off.
 
2012-04-06 09:05:45 PM  
2.images.theweek.com
Oblig.
(new window)
 
2012-04-06 09:26:26 PM  
celebritiespoundingit.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-06 09:46:34 PM  
Buttermilk is a wonder ingredient. You philistianes eat your sugar based salad dressings and have your reunions in the ICU.
 
2012-04-06 09:56:31 PM  

TsarTom: [celebritiespoundingit.files.wordpress.com image 500x395]


Seriously, barf.
 
2012-04-06 10:02:39 PM  

TheDumbBlonde: Buttermilk is a wonder ingredient. You philistianes eat your sugar based salad dressings and have your reunions in the ICU.


Sugar based dressings--with a few exceptions--are abominations. A touch of fruit to a vinaigrette, that's fine, but sugaring a dressing is like sugaring a marinara...
 
2012-04-06 10:03:43 PM  
You mean there are people in this country that DON'T do that?

/love me some ranch on pizza
 
2012-04-06 10:28:28 PM  
Keep that shiat away from my Jimmy Johns.
 
2012-04-06 10:29:26 PM  
BK fries taste alot better with ranch
/no where fat
 
2012-04-06 10:29:50 PM  
I have never understood the obsession with ranch dressing or why people put it on everything. Ugh.

/never really liked the stuff.
 
2012-04-06 10:30:42 PM  
What goes around comes around. This was all the rage in......I don't know. In the 80's? Come on, people, some of my friends used to slather that stuff on everything. I can't be the only one.
 
2012-04-06 10:30:58 PM  
I was in line at Chipotle once, and this large, floppy woman was in front of me, and when she got to the condiment section, she pointed to the sour cream and said, "Issat ranch??" The burrito artist said no, and she seemed kinda bummed.
 
2012-04-06 10:32:13 PM  
Ranch in mashed potatoes and on Indian tandoori chicken. Oh yeah.
 
2012-04-06 10:32:19 PM  
i391.photobucket.com

Much as I love ranch, ketchup is my first (condiment) love and they'll have to pry it from my cold dead tomato-ey fingers. Fries are a vector, not a food.
 
2012-04-06 10:32:26 PM  
Burrito Artist?
 
2012-04-06 10:33:14 PM  

cryinoutloud: What goes around comes around. This was all the rage in......I don't know. In the 80's? Come on, people, some of my friends used to slather that stuff on everything. I can't be the only one.


In high school we had a gravity fed ranch tub about the size of a 5 gallon bucket. It had a long "udder" coming out of the bottom that you'd use to "milk" the ranch. We'd put that shiat on everything... Fries, rolls, pizza...

This was in 2000.
 
2012-04-06 10:33:50 PM  

Ikam: Burrito Artist?


Same thing I thought

/taco bender I could understand
 
2012-04-06 10:35:33 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ikam: Burrito Artist?

Same thing I thought

/taco bender I could understand


I worked at a burrito joint when I was in college, I called myself a 'burrito slinger'.
 
2012-04-06 10:40:58 PM  
Hidden Valley? I'll use their product again once they

1) get that f*cking HFCS out of it, and
2) use proper buttermilk, not milk solids or the like

Ranch should be creamy and tangy, not runny and sweet. Gack.

/using Mike's Steakhouse Buttermilk Ranch now
//add a little dried dill and it's perfect
 
2012-04-06 10:41:53 PM  
Ranch vodak?
 
2012-04-06 10:42:45 PM  
Ranch is made from mayonnaise. Mayo is disgusting. Therefore, ranch is disgusting. Why try to promote it as some ultimate condiment? Sriracha is the best that there ever can be; why try to top perfection?
 
2012-04-06 10:44:25 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I was in line at Chipotle once, and this large, floppy woman was in front of me, and when she got to the condiment section, she pointed to the sour cream and said, "Issat ranch??" The burrito artist said no, and she seemed kinda bummed.


Many of the actual San Francisco burrito joints do have ranch dressing. They go with the fish tacos.
 
2012-04-06 10:45:47 PM  

Ikam: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ikam: Burrito Artist?

Same thing I thought

/taco bender I could understand

I worked at a burrito joint when I was in college, I called myself a 'burrito slinger'.


Burrito Artist just sounds so pretentious. Like Tostada Feng Shui Consultant

/when it comes to burrito titles, mine has always been "consumer"
 
2012-04-06 10:46:05 PM  
"Hidden Valley" yet they have an address.
Liars.
 
2012-04-06 10:47:52 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ikam: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ikam: Burrito Artist?

Same thing I thought

/taco bender I could understand

I worked at a burrito joint when I was in college, I called myself a 'burrito slinger'.

Burrito Artist just sounds so pretentious. Like Tostada Feng Shui Consultant

/when it comes to burrito titles, mine has always been "consumer"


Burritista, how 'bout that?
 
2012-04-06 10:49:09 PM  

adenosine: Sriracha is the best that there ever can be; why try to top perfection?


But the Thai original, not the popular Vietnamese knockoff.

/Shriracha snob
 
2012-04-06 10:51:33 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Burritista, how 'bout that?


And wind up having to order a venti burrito?

/I think not
 
2012-04-06 10:52:40 PM  

0Icky0: adenosine: Sriracha is the best that there ever can be; why try to top perfection?

But the Thai original, not the popular Vietnamese knockoff.

/Shriracha snob


I like that stuff but can only endure small amounts as I come from midwestern stock; spicy things in large quantities wreak havoc.
 
2012-04-06 10:54:45 PM  

ladyfortuna: 0Icky0: adenosine: Sriracha is the best that there ever can be; why try to top perfection?

But the Thai original, not the popular Vietnamese knockoff.

/Shriracha snob

I like that stuff but can only endure small amounts as I come from midwestern stock; spicy things in large quantities wreak havoc.


My friend has won a chili cook off two years in a row... Srirachi is his secret ingredient.
 
2012-04-06 11:00:58 PM  
I thought the word 'jack-tastic' would come in no later than the third post.
 
2012-04-06 11:01:53 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: ladyfortuna: 0Icky0: adenosine: Sriracha is the best that there ever can be; why try to top perfection?

But the Thai original, not the popular Vietnamese knockoff.

/Shriracha snob

I like that stuff but can only endure small amounts as I come from midwestern stock; spicy things in large quantities wreak havoc.

My friend has won a chili cook off two years in a row... Srirachi is his secret ingredient.


I only know the stuff that I see in all the teriyaki/chinese/thai/ etc. places in the Rooster bottle. Which I buy in bulk. Is that the knockoff? Have I not had the real deal? I now have a mission in life. Can you post a picture of this Thai goodness you reference?
 
2012-04-06 11:06:13 PM  

Porous Horace: "Hidden Valley" yet they have an address.
Liars.


I remember my disappointment as a youngster when I discovered Hidden Valley Ranch is actually in California.

They're living a lie!!
 
2012-04-06 11:06:43 PM  
I detest ranch dressing. The smell of it makes me sick now. I didnt like it much before, but ever since I was making buttermilk pancakes and smelled the buttermilk it turned me off. But I still love buttermilk pancakes, go figure.
 
2012-04-06 11:10:31 PM  

kxs401: I go through about a gallon of ranch a week. It would get expensive except for all of those men who pay to watch me eat on cam.


your post is useless without pics
 
2012-04-06 11:13:50 PM  
I heard the Hidden Valley was destroyed by Balsamic extremists.
 
2012-04-06 11:19:34 PM  

Comsamvimes: I detest ranch dressing. The smell of it makes me sick now. I didnt like it much before, but ever since I was making buttermilk pancakes and smelled the buttermilk it turned me off. But I still love buttermilk pancakes, go figure.


On very rare occasions I buy a quart of buttermilk for pancakes or whatever, and drink the majority of it straight (not all at once though), with just a little salt; my husband looks green around the gills every time. It's hilarious.

/mom's habit carried on
//slashies!
 
2012-04-06 11:20:49 PM  
Ranch inferior. Blue cheese superior.
 
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