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(The Smoking Gun)   "Brutal Scrotum Attack". Three words that do not go well together, even if you do have a band   (thesmokinggun.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Christina Reber  
•       •       •

6177 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2012 at 10:26 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-04-06 05:55:31 PM  
They took him to Ball Memorial Hospital. Real classy, paramedics. Real classy.
 
2012-04-06 06:30:32 PM  
That's just nuts
 
2012-04-06 06:34:23 PM  

jking1247: They took him to Ball Memorial Hospital. Real classy, paramedics. Real classy.


I would have so used the hospital name in the headline.
 
2012-04-06 06:34:54 PM  
Sounds like the girlfriend was feeling a tag teste that day.
 
2012-04-06 06:35:45 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: jking1247: They took him to Ball Memorial Hospital. Real classy, paramedics. Real classy.

I would have so used the hospital name in the headline.


Someone did in the original flurry of submissions

/there were a number of variations a day or two ago
 
2012-04-06 06:39:17 PM  
I predict someone in the course of this thread will post "monkey steals the peach"
 
2012-04-06 06:40:12 PM  

jking1247: They took him to Ball Memorial Hospital. Real classy, paramedics. Real classy.


Those paramedics have since been sacked.
 
2012-04-06 06:40:19 PM  
FTFA: Reber, the victim told cops, first struck him repeatedly in the head before latching onto his scrotum and "squeezing as hard as she could." The man, interviewed by police at a hospital emergency room, said that he "was in incredible pain when Reber grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers."

That's when I would start gouging her eyes out with my thumbs.
 
2012-04-06 06:40:35 PM  
There was once, briefly, a band called Albino Testicle Impact. They were shiat.
 
2012-04-06 06:46:13 PM  

r1niceboy: There was once, briefly, a band called Albino Testicle Impact. They were shiat.


Edgar Winter had a few good songs.
 
2012-04-06 07:03:04 PM  
Complain all you want about the TSA, but an encounter with the BSA would be much, much worse.
 
2012-04-06 07:07:59 PM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-06 07:24:56 PM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-06 07:34:44 PM  
i.cdn.turner.com

Or Ball Me not. That is the question.
 
2012-04-06 07:44:12 PM  
That was a dick move on her part.
 
2012-04-06 07:59:31 PM  
A cop reported that the man had blood on his shirt and "a long wide tear on his scrotum," which had been "completely torn loose from his body."

Annnnnd mine just completely inverted.
 
2012-04-06 08:12:47 PM  
 
2012-04-06 08:22:06 PM  
http://www.fark.com/comments/2018473/Im-stuck-to-my-chair-Im-so-very-s cared-Help-Details-In-thread
 
2012-04-06 08:23:55 PM  
i.cdn.turner.com

Thanks, TSG. I'm sure guys everywhere appreciate the visual aid to a story that already makes their nuts shrivel.
 
2012-04-06 08:29:43 PM  

2.bp.blogspot.com

 
2012-04-06 08:33:58 PM  
i170.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-06 08:36:34 PM  
i53.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-06 08:40:21 PM  

Krymson Tyde: [i53.photobucket.com image 450x581]


Oooooo... right in the mouseketeers
 
2012-04-06 09:00:12 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: basemetal: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 448x325]

The one in red is grabbing the junk of the man next to him.


Heh! You're right. :-D
 
2012-04-06 09:48:18 PM  
"part of his scrotum was torn loose from his body"

Jesus

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-06 10:01:20 PM  
Ha! Ball state memorial hospital.
 
2012-04-06 10:31:35 PM  
What a conundrum.
 
2012-04-06 10:34:56 PM  
"Scrotum? Damn near killed 'im!"
 
2012-04-06 10:36:25 PM  
pleasedress.me

coming up next... on a very special episode of "Ow! My Balls!"...
 
2012-04-06 10:37:18 PM  
This is what I got from the article:

...scrotum severely torn...on-again, off-again...struck him repeatedly in the head before latching onto his scrotum...squeezing as hard as she could...grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers...refused to let go of his scrotum...a long wide tear on his scrotum...completely torn loose from his body....scrotum was so swollen ...scrotum is still bleeding ... permanent damage to his groin...

/scrotum!
 
2012-04-06 10:41:14 PM  
img855.imageshack.us
 
2012-04-06 10:44:47 PM  
Ripping off a scrotum with your bare hands? That takes balls.
 
2012-04-06 10:45:33 PM  
That's my purse!
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-04-06 10:54:12 PM  

Craptastic: That's my purse!
[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 310x224]


I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!

Seriously though, that's farking sick to do to a man. I don't even have testicles and that made me cringe.
 
2012-04-06 11:09:56 PM  
Pfft... a little ball exposure never hurt anyone, granted she may have tore something else, but the testicles are resilient little buggers.

Also, the only way she could have really ripped his sack open is if she got a hold of the flesh itself. FTA: "The victim, 57, told police that he was working at his computer". So unless he let her put her hands down his pants, something must have been exposed at the time.

/This is one of those days that I hate having this kind of knowledge thanks to my job
 
2012-04-06 11:10:51 PM  
Every once in awhile, I hear about some woman in Africa who's killed some guy by squeezing his balls. Apparently before European rule, it was some kind of martial art back then, still occasionally practiced.

This woman needs more practice.
 
2012-04-06 11:13:43 PM  
"Brutal Scrotum Attack" is what I do to my girlfriend. NOT the other way 'round.
 
2012-04-06 11:15:01 PM  

Serial: Pfft... a little ball exposure never hurt anyone, granted she may have tore something else, but the testicles are resilient little buggers.


How exactly wouldn't this hurt anyone?
 
2012-04-06 11:15:40 PM  

ekdikeo4: "Brutal Scrotum Attack" is what I do to my girlfriend. NOT the other way 'round.


Dude, I don't think she's supposed to have one of those
 
2012-04-06 11:16:04 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-06 11:18:44 PM  

BurnShrike: ekdikeo4: "Brutal Scrotum Attack" is what I do to my girlfriend. NOT the other way 'round.

Dude, I don't think she's supposed to have one of those


As in, attack brutally with -my- scrotum. o.O

what'd you think i meant...

oh god.
 
2012-04-06 11:28:28 PM  

Craptastic: That's my purse!
[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 310x224]


Sadly, I think this mans injuries are beyond the relief of a frozen bag of vegetables.

images.buddytv.com
 
2012-04-06 11:29:54 PM  
I've got this covered:

i1.kym-cdn.com

img.photobucket.com

i440.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-06 11:30:31 PM  

Coelacanth: Every once in awhile, I hear about some woman in Africa who's killed some guy by squeezing his balls. Apparently before European rule, it was some kind of martial art back then, still occasionally practiced.

This woman needs more practice.


Dude, monkey steals the peach
 
2012-04-06 11:31:02 PM  
Subby made me larf.
 
2012-04-06 11:31:52 PM  
In a follow-up interview two days after the incident, the victim told police that his scrotum was "so swollen he is unable to walk and is missing work." The man added that his scrotum "is still bleeding and doctors are not sure if there is permanent damage to his groin or not."

...why is it important that he's missing work? He's MISSING HIS BALLS!
 
2012-04-06 11:32:43 PM  
 
2012-04-06 11:34:14 PM  
Brutal scrotum attack? Is there another kind?
 
2012-04-06 11:38:16 PM  
Is the word "brutal" really needed?

Good job moike GREATEST THREAD OF ALL TIME! (so far)
 
2012-04-06 11:40:22 PM  
Sorry HaywoodJablonski I should have refreshed.
 
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