"Sir are your shoes wet?"
"Why yes, yes they are".
"I don't believe you're having any trouble peeing, sir"

Is there a 911 trifecta in play here?

sounds like DXM. had some nice out of body experiences on that stuff years ago. just had to make sure i didn't drink many liquids less than an hour in advance.

Thursday, 3/29


11:26 a.m. Someone called in to talk about cats.

Now he wants his urine to have an out of body experience.

The trick is to punch yourself in the bladder

meh, i also never could pee on acid. just had to wait a few hours. i bet he would have been fine.

these days my only vice is booze and, yeah, no trouble peeing there.

This is the best police blotter, ever!

Thursday, 3/22

4:25 p.m. A young man on Fourth Avenue East threw a tantrum when his mom asked him to take out the garbage.

These guys are simpathetic to his urinating problem.

Jake Havechek: This is the best police blotter, ever!

Thursday, 3/22

4:25 p.m. A young man on Fourth Avenue East threw a tantrum when his mom asked him to take out the garbage.

Agreed ... they even threw in some day-walker hilarity!

5:17 p.m. A red-headed 8-year-old boy and his two small friends were seen throwing rocks at a building on Airport Road.

Wednesday, 3/7



12:28 p.m. A Chihuahua and a greyhound ran freely together on Plentywood Drive.

Uchiha_Cycliste: Not being able to urinate is actually a serious problem that requires a catheter to prevent death. He made the right move.
Incidentally, having a catheter inserted without anastesia is awful, imagine jamming a bic pen up your urethera and you get the idea...

\then imagine morning wood.

Without having more information, and knowing it was a medication he took toxic doses of to "have an out of body experience", I'm going to go out on a limb her and say it was a form of anticholinergic medication. The toxidrome for it fits that, expecially the urinary retention part.

Wednesday 3/28



12:23 p.m. Someone called in to talk about cows and dogs.

6:58 p.m. A Columbia Falls resident stated that the neighbors have about 50 unpleasant cows that constantly escape and find themselves in his yard. Additionally, the neighbors ride their horses through his yard when they retrieve their cows.

Cows -- serious business

If someone had the right skills, the blotter would make a really interesting movie.

Sunday, 3/18

2:37 a.m. Witnessed a man beating a chupacabra with a wooden prosthesis while screaming "I KNOW MY RIGHTS". Proceeded to head to the nearest bar.

Tales From the Police Blotter are the funniest crap anywhere. I read one about a woman who called the cops because every time she turned on her air purifier, she heard "Prince music" and was convinced her neighbor was "hacking into" her air purifier with his computer and making it play Prince music.

Police Photo

3/18
"9:57 a.m. A Kalispell woman reported that her scandalous daughter was up to no good."

8:26 a.m. A man on Smith Lake Road reported that his truck was missing and he had found blood on the walls inside his home. He later canceled his report and confessed to regretting the amount of alcohol he had consumed the night prior.

Aw, man, this is gold!

Uchiha_Cycliste: BronyMedic: Uchiha_Cycliste: Not being able to urinate is actually a serious problem that requires a catheter to prevent death. He made the right move.
Incidentally, having a catheter inserted without anastesia is awful, imagine jamming a bic pen up your urethera and you get the idea...

\then imagine morning wood.

Without having more information, and knowing it was a medication he took toxic doses of to "have an out of body experience", I'm going to go out on a limb her and say it was a form of anticholinergic medication. The toxidrome for it fits that, expecially the urinary retention part.

So, you're thinking dramamine? I suppose that makes a lot more sense than opiates or benzos.

Possibly. Or many other anticholinergic medications. (Doubt he got his hands on IV atropine.)

Opiates and benzodiazepines are more sedation effects. Trust me when I say they have no problems pissing themselves.

Is this real or is this in some alternate universe

Tuesday 3/20

11:01 a.m. A Hungry Horse man has been arguing with his neighbor for five years.


2:38 p.m. Drug paraphernalia was discovered and reported by a disappointed mother.

( she was hoping for the stash and only found the works , disappointing )

5:17 a.m. Reportedly, a 5-year-old Evergreen girl has been smuggling Tums onto the bus and sharing them with her friends.

5:46 p.m. A woman reported seeing an "unhappy" man with a red goatee and a round suede hat hitchhiking near Kila. She thought this was suspicious.

10:32 p.m. An intoxicated man on Highway 35 in Kalispell reported that his mother, also intoxicated, was a problem and that he was about to "snap." He did not snap and was separated from his mother.

11:27 p.m. Someone saw a man dressed in black.

Well, death is an out-of-body experience.

Thursday 3/29

11:26 a.m. Someone called in to talk about cats.

Marley'sGirl: 10:04 a.m. A woman in Lakeside reported that her boyfriend kicked her knee and threw things at her. He was last seen wandering down the street in his green turtleneck and sporting what could only be described as "the beginnings of a mustache."

I was just about to post that. It could ONLY be described as..

Magic_Button: Is this real or is this in some alternate universe

Tuesday 3/20

11:01 a.m. A Hungry Horse man has been arguing with his neighbor for five years.


2:38 p.m. Drug paraphernalia was discovered and reported by a disappointed mother.

( she was hoping for the stash and only found the works , disappointing )

5:17 a.m. Reportedly, a 5-year-old Evergreen girl has been smuggling Tums onto the bus and sharing them with her friends.

5:46 p.m. A woman reported seeing an "unhappy" man with a red goatee and a round suede hat hitchhiking near Kila. She thought this was suspicious.

10:32 p.m. An intoxicated man on Highway 35 in Kalispell reported that his mother, also intoxicated, was a problem and that he was about to "snap." He did not snap and was separated from his mother.

11:27 p.m. Someone saw a man dressed in black.

It's called "Montana". I lived there for 3 years and let me tell you, it's about as real as it gets.

This place is pure comic gold...
Thursday:
7:58 a.m. Someone saw a shaggy haired dog limping down Airport Road.
9:19 a.m. The same shaggy dog was seen lying in someone's yard on Merganser Drive.
(Gotta keep the Shaggy Dog reporting together)

8:26 a.m. A man on Smith Lake Road reported that his truck was missing and he had found blood on the walls inside his home. He later canceled his report and confessed to regretting the amount of alcohol he had consumed the night prior.

11:14 a.m. A woman on Windward Way reported that someone smothered her vehicle in oatmeal, toys, and a lamp.

12:34 a.m. A man on Highway 93 South said some kids in a Subaru shot him with blow dart. He did not need medical attention.

Not only does a lot of weird shiat happen, but these people call the cops for the most mundane crap on the planet... Funny part is the Flathead Valley houses 140,000 people. Kalispell's about 20,000.

The town I went to HS in(In AZ) was about 25,000 people, and shaggy dog stories didn't make the police blotter... Of course we had both LA Crips and Bloods families that had moved out of LA at one point, so we had an interesting high school experience.

Jake Havechek: This is the best police blotter, ever!

Thursday, 3/22

4:25 p.m. A young man on Fourth Avenue East threw a tantrum when his mom asked him to take out the garbage.

Checking this page should be a regular thing. Montana sure gets up to some shenanigans...

Uchiha_Cycliste: depends on the opiate load, those can definitely back you enough to prevent urination to the point of requiring a catheter. That's how I ended up with mine after shattering my leg.

Oh. God.

I've never had a catheter, but I've put it in enough men that I can never understand how it could be a fetish for some people.

/as a young CNA, BronyMedic watched an alzheimers patient rip a rather large, inflated 22f from him while doing personal care. Guy didn't even flench.

3/29
8:06 a.m. Someone found a bicycle laying in the ditch near one of the "numerous" transient camps on Whitefish stage. Apparently, the bike wasn't worth "a plug nickel."

4:35 p.m. Someone felt badly for three horses on Tavern Lane that have, according to the caller, been standing in mud for three years.

8:58 p.m. A man who looked "high" was handing out Kleenex to Park Avenue residents, arousing suspicion.

11:16 p.m. One caller saw two boys on top of the overpass in Evergreen and was concerned about what they might be doing.

Apparently Tavern Lane gets a shiatload of rain, kleenex is suspicious, and kids shouldn't be on overpasses...

3/28
11:17 a.m. Someone reported that kids on Meadowlark Drive were playing basketball in the street. The caller felt this to be a "dangerous situation."

12:23 p.m. Someone called in to talk about cows and dogs.

10:08 p.m. An angry Columbia Falls man argued with a woman and reportedly pushed her vehicle into the ditch.

Hey at least those kids weren't on his lawn. More farm talk with the cops, and how tdid this guy push someone's car into a ditch? It's not something you do with one shove...

God, whoever does this police blotter must LOVE their job, I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.

3/27
8:10 a.m. A pony-tailed woman has been camped out in an Evergreen fast food restaurant parking lot for over a month. The owner of the establishment would like someone to advise her that she can no longer use the restrooms.

But apparently, she can continue to live in the parking lot...