If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   Jesus, in fact, is magic. Watch the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church make a $30,000 watch disappear   (nytimes.com) divider line 91
    More: Fail, Russian Orthodox Church, electoral fraud, public morals, De Witt, photo showing, deputy mayor, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin  
•       •       •

8872 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2012 at 2:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-06 11:17:38 AM  
Jesus wept.
 
2012-04-06 11:26:35 AM  
Lying and coverups of church riches. Just like Jesus would have wanted. Hey, at least he probably didn't have a little boy under his robes.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-04-06 11:56:39 AM  
Well, there are only so many poor people in the world. You have to do something with all the money left over after they are all taken care of.
 
2012-04-06 12:00:36 PM  
Good job at the Photoshop fail. Now it's even more of a thing than it would have been if you hadn't doctored it.
 
2012-04-06 12:04:25 PM  
Catholic pope can make pedophiles disappear.
 
2012-04-06 12:32:03 PM  
Watches are notoriously difficult to get through the eye of a needle.
 
2012-04-06 01:10:33 PM  
That seems remarkably Jewish for a Christian.
 
2012-04-06 01:13:08 PM  
It is not likely that the apology will end the debate about the watch or dampen the increasingly barbed discussions of the church's role in Russian society. Over the past decade, the church has grown immensely powerful, becoming so close to the Kremlin that it often seems like a branch of government. It has extended its influence into a broad range of public life, including schools, courts and politics. Patriarch Kirill publicly backed Vladimir V. Putin in last month's presidential election.

izklop.com
 
2012-04-06 01:34:23 PM  
Жадный гребаный ублюдок....
 
2012-04-06 01:46:12 PM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: That seems remarkably Jewish for a Christian.


Really? Jews and their religious leaders aren't ascetics, why would they hide an expensive watch?

Christians, on the other hand, talk all of the time about how humble and pious they are. And the hypocrisy and dumb attempt at a cover-up seems true to form as well.

Your statement doesn't seem to have any actual reasoning, just a lash out at Jews which doesn't even get the Jewish stereotypes correct.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you're going to try to slur a religious or ethnic group, work harder at it. No one likes lazy hateful people. I'm sure there are lots of Farkers that would be willing to give you tips.
 
2012-04-06 02:05:41 PM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: That seems remarkably Jewish for a Christian.


I was going to point out all the ways that you're an idiot, but I see SphericalTime has things covered.
 
2012-04-06 02:10:05 PM  
"The church can, of course, inspire fear or evoke respect, and even make mistakes," Vladimir Varfolomeyev, a prominent liberal commentator, wrote on Facebook. "But it cannot be funny. Before our eyes we are witnessing the destruction of this institution."

That's where you're wrong, Varfy old boy, because this shiat is hilarious.

fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
Russia's often acerbic bloggers reacted to the scandal with something approaching glee. Bloggers have been uploading their own altered photographs of the patriarch to the Web, including one in which he has been erased and only the watch remains.
 
2012-04-06 02:17:55 PM  
obligatory

listverse.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-06 02:18:31 PM  
i1127.photobucket.com

How the hell did you do that?

/And do you do children's parties?
 
2012-04-06 02:20:04 PM  
This lack of integrity is something I would have expected from American Southern Baptists, not Russian Orthodox.
On the other hand, I'm not sure if most Southern Baptists would know how to manipulate Photoshop.

/yeah, I rag on them
//because they've earned it
 
2012-04-06 02:20:27 PM  

SphericalTime: omnibus_necanda_sunt: That seems remarkably Jewish for a Christian.

Really? Jews and their religious leaders aren't ascetics, why would they hide an expensive watch?

Christians, on the other hand, talk all of the time about how humble and pious they are. And the hypocrisy and dumb attempt at a cover-up seems true to form as well.

Your statement doesn't seem to have any actual reasoning, just a lash out at Jews which doesn't even get the Jewish stereotypes correct.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you're going to try to slur a religious or ethnic group, work harder at it. No one likes lazy hateful people. I'm sure there are lots of Farkers that would be willing to give you tips.


Poe's law, dude.
 
2012-04-06 02:21:05 PM  
Wealthy and powerful Russian wears expensive name brand item. Film at 11.

www.celebritycarz.com

Devin Hester's car is refined and tasteful in Russia.
 
2012-04-06 02:21:05 PM  
In Russia, a Watch Vanishes Up Kirill's Sleeve

In Orthodox Russia, watch vanishes up YOU!
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-06 02:24:17 PM  
Ahhhh but the reflection of the watch remains..
 
2012-04-06 02:26:37 PM  
He should have given it to Christopher Walken for safekeeping.
 
2012-04-06 02:26:49 PM  
The church might have gotten away with the ruse if it had not failed to also erase the watch's reflection, which appeared in the photo on the highly glossed table where the patriarch was seated.

Has no reporter considered that the original image was itself doctored to disguise the watch's true nature as a reverse vampire?
 
2012-04-06 02:27:37 PM  
I bet they find it up some 5 year old alter boy's ass.
DRFTA
 
2012-04-06 02:28:14 PM  
The church apologized for the deception on Thursday and restored the original photo to the site, but not before Patriarch Kirill weighed in, insisting in an interview with a Russian journalist that he had never worn the watch, and that any photos showing him wearing it must have been doctored to put the watch on his wrist.

/And god hovers over each of us with a little pad of paper writing everything down we do, and to get to heaven, you must kneel before me, as the word goes from God to me, to you.

ziiiiiiip
 
2012-04-06 02:28:33 PM  
Magic Jesus?

gangtown.com
 
2012-04-06 02:28:56 PM  

MBooda: In Russia, a Watch Vanishes Up Kirill's Sleeve

In Orthodox Russia, watch vanishes up YOU!
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x311]


www.gonemovies.com

/hot
 
2012-04-06 02:29:33 PM  
It can disappear on a trip to Albania as well
 
2012-04-06 02:29:35 PM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2012-04-06 02:29:37 PM  
Also knew how to make a watch disappear...

30.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-06 02:29:53 PM  
ih0.redbubble.net
 
2012-04-06 02:31:21 PM  
No dawg, I never wore that watch. Marshal Tito never wanted a Macedonian Church in Skopje to seize lands in the US either...dawg.
 
2012-04-06 02:31:31 PM  
"i don't like breguet... i LOVE it!"

/obscure?
 
2012-04-06 02:31:59 PM  

Quasar: Lying and coverups of church riches. Just like Jesus would have wanted. Hey, at least he probably didn't have a little boy under his robes.


/How do you know? He might have had two..one to catch the overflow of his "grace".
 
2012-04-06 02:32:31 PM  
TFA "any photos showing him wearing it must have been doctored to put the watch on his wrist."

I believe him! Why would the church lie to us?
 
2012-04-06 02:32:39 PM  

abb3w: Жадный гребаный ублюдок....


Damn straight!
 
2012-04-06 02:32:50 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-06 02:35:30 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Well his church doesn't look like it's strapped for cash
 
2012-04-06 02:38:29 PM  

Snapper Carr: [i1127.photobucket.com image 480x360]

How the hell did you do that?

/And do you do children's parties?


Win.
 
2012-04-06 02:39:14 PM  

krackpipe: No dawg, I never wore that watch. Marshal Tito never wanted a Macedonian Church in Skopje to seize lands in the US either...dawg.


Care to elaborate?
 
2012-04-06 02:42:23 PM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: That seems remarkably Jewish for a Christian.


Joel Osteen, Jim Baker, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, Kenneth Copeland, Oral Roberts, zombie Jerry Falwell, Robert Tilton and Jack Van Impe would all like a word with you.

I think the correct phrase you were looking for is:

That seems remarkably Christian for a Christian.

Except that there is nothing particularly remarkable about it--just a church leader doing what they do best.
 
2012-04-06 02:43:11 PM  
weapon13
TFA "any photos showing him wearing it must
have been doctored to put the watch on his
wrist."
I believe him! Why would the church lie to us?
`
Force of habit mostly.
`
Anybody know why the quote "" buttons are missing?

FarkinHostile
 
2012-04-06 02:46:30 PM  

Cajnik: krackpipe: No dawg, I never wore that watch. Marshal Tito never wanted a Macedonian Church in Skopje to seize lands in the US either...dawg.

Care to elaborate?


You think he's telling the truth?
 
2012-04-06 02:47:19 PM  

Boatmech: weapon13
TFA "any photos showing him wearing it must
have been doctored to put the watch on his
wrist."
I believe him! Why would the church lie to us?
`
Force of habit mostly.
`
Anybody know why the quote "" buttons are missing?

FarkinHostile


2.bp.blogspot.com

What is it, girl? There's trouble at the well?
 
2012-04-06 02:48:44 PM  

Snapper Carr: [i1127.photobucket.com image 480x360]

How the hell did you do that?

/And do you do children's parties?


And they applauded loudly in the kitchen.

/Administers fatal beatings
 
2012-04-06 02:48:58 PM  

krackpipe: Care to elaborate?

You think he's telling the truth?


I've never heard that story, do you have a link?
 
2012-04-06 02:49:48 PM  
Which is more powerful, a magic watch? or magic underwear?
 
2012-04-06 02:51:02 PM  
Two serious and one piggybacked bites and counting.

I heard everyone else was into this trolling thing, so I gave it a whirl. Damn, it's easier than I was led to believe.
 
2012-04-06 02:53:16 PM  

BurnShrike: Magic Jesus?

[gangtown.com image 225x322]


Blasphemy- Jesus's casting cost should be 4WWWW, and he should have hexproof and vigilance.
 
2012-04-06 02:54:59 PM  

SphericalTime: omnibus_necanda_sunt: That seems remarkably Jewish for a Christian.

Really? Jews and their religious leaders aren't ascetics, why would they hide an expensive watch?


Um, neither are most Christians. There are (mostly monastic) exceptions but generally speaking there are no vows of poverty involved.

I mean, you can selectively quote scripture to make it seem that way, but you could likely do the same with any religion.
 
2012-04-06 02:56:58 PM  

SphericalTime: Jews and their religious leaders aren't ascetics, why would they hide an expensive watch?


They didn't want a Christian to mug them for it?
 
2012-04-06 02:58:52 PM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: Two serious and one piggybacked bites and counting.

I heard everyone else was into this trolling thing, so I gave it a whirl. Damn, it's easier than I was led to believe.


The key is to not announce it at the end of the thread you fool. Though if that was your first try, you have a bright future ahead of you. Hell, no one even accused you of trolling, which is damned hard to pull off and you didn't take the easy way out by trying to troll a Palin or a global warming thread. And you kept it short, which is the usual downfall of most trolls around here.

You also made me learn something about myself, which is that I know an uncomfortable number of televangelists right off the top of my head. I may need a hobby.
 
Displayed 50 of 91 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report