If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cracked)   Do robots have rights? This and four other of the stupidest technology questions ever Googled   (cracked.com) divider line 64
    More: Interesting, Googled, drinking fountains, robots  
•       •       •

4339 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Apr 2012 at 2:05 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



64 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-06 01:37:42 PM  
When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

neogo.pl
"Does this unit have a soul?"
 
2012-04-06 02:30:52 PM  
Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.
 
2012-04-06 02:41:26 PM  
ASPCR, since 1999.
 
2012-04-06 02:44:58 PM  
Hearing Voices Through Electronics, How to Stop It?

While it might be nice, I do wish I could learn to unhear the capacitor discharge noise or transformer hum.

I recently installed a new fluorescent bulb in my home and immediately heard a hum. Oh, great, I thought, here's another Joe vs the Volcano.

Nope. It was the power supply for my laptop, which I hadn't noticed was near enough to my ear.

That shiat gets old but fast.

/Can actually hear the hum of incandescent lights.
//Technically, I think I'm hearing the hum of the rheostat.
 
2012-04-06 02:46:49 PM  

stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.


Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.
 
2012-04-06 02:53:25 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.


whatever.losito.net
Your shennanigans, they're being frowned upon.
 
2012-04-06 02:55:02 PM  

scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"


A soul is a very different question to rights. Just saying. And no, the unit does not have a soul.
 
2012-04-06 03:02:40 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.


And corporations, for some reason.

/Romneybot even said they're people.
 
2012-04-06 03:06:47 PM  

Vaneshi: scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"

A soul is a very different question to rights. Just saying. And no, the unit does not have a soul.


But neither do you.
 
2012-04-06 03:13:08 PM  

scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"


"Legion...the answer to your question...is yes."

/god, that moment was brutal
 
2012-04-06 03:16:25 PM  

Arkanaut: Vaneshi: scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"

A soul is a very different question to rights. Just saying. And no, the unit does not have a soul.

But neither do you.


Of course Vaneshi doesn't have a soul. I bought it for $5.
 
2012-04-06 03:40:49 PM  
Vaneshi scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"

A soul is a very different question to rights. Just saying. And no, the unit does not have a soul.


Keelah se'lai motherfarker.
 
2012-04-06 03:55:30 PM  
"Pleash... haff... look ar-round... shir..."
"I'm new... quite new... I never had a short in the skeleton... I am still able... please..."
"I had a temp, a temporary defect, but now I am all, am all right, I can see..."
"Listen, please. I am invaluable, I am expensive. I indicate every power leak, I locate every stray current, every overload, just test me, please... This... this shaking is temporary... It has nothing in common with... please..."
"Please, me... only me... it is a mistake..."
"I am here by mistake... I think... I think, after all..."
"Sir, please... a moment of your time. Sir, I -- am different. I am here by mistake."
"I am living! Yes, I was thrown in here, they dressed me in metal on purpose, so no one would know, but please, only put your ear to me and you will hear a pulse!"
"I also! I also! Sir! I was ill; during my illness I imagined that I was a machine, that was my madness, but now I am well! Hallister, Mr.Hallister can vouch for me, please ask him, please get me out of here!"
"Pleash... pleash, shir..."
"Brek... break..."
"Your servant..."
 
2012-04-06 04:14:09 PM  
Usually I am a fan of Cracked, but that was pretty weak.
 
2012-04-06 04:25:53 PM  
I donno, ask Phil K Dick's robot

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2012-04-06 04:37:22 PM  

Arkanaut:
But neither do you.


Quite so and I never said I did.

Duck_of_Doom: Keelah se'lai motherfarker.


As I said a soul is a very different thing to 'human rights' (or sentient rights if you prefer), just because an AI doesn't have a 'soul' (whatever that may or may not be depending on your religion of choice) is not to say it shouldn't enjoy the rights and freedoms afforded to any other sentient.

Which is why the Quarians are dicks and deserved.
 
2012-04-06 04:56:38 PM  
Who invented the ice? Etienne Lenoir.
 
2012-04-06 05:09:10 PM  
Won't be a stupid question by the end of the century.
 
2012-04-06 05:52:28 PM  
Eh....these questions are B.S. made up by some guy at Cracked. They don't actually represent real questions that are frequently asked.

On top of that, 2/5ths of the questions are very reasonable.

#5 - On the list has been explored many times by fiction writers and scientists alike. It's not an unreasonable question to ask.
#1 - This is more akin to what things have been described but not yet successfully invented. We have the concept of transportation devices that can move people across the world instantly; but none have been invented (yet). There is an endless list of fictional devices that are reasonably feasible....and historically there have been a reasonable number of things that were invented *after* being described.
 
2012-04-06 06:00:59 PM  
Let's assume, Reader, for just one moment, that you're not a fourth grader, and no longer find fart jokes the height of humour. What might this article look like if it was written by and for persons vaguely resembling grown-ups?


#5. What Rights Do Robots Have?

Some of the people asking this surely do have a very naive view of robots, rights, or both. But some are probably also just phrasing very badly the perfectly legimately questions phrased much more eloquently by SF writers, futurists, and philosohers.


#4. Hearing Voices Through Electronics, How to Stop It?

Some people asking this are surely schizophrenic, but not all of them. No small number of people suffer from acoustic pareidolia, a discrete form of apophenia. I'm one of them myself, so I'm very familiar with this. Apophenia is the generalised psychological phenomenon that causes you to see an emoticon as a face, a 'Man on Mars,' the 'Man in the Moon,' Jesus in a tortilla, that sort of thing. It's a strange quirk of our evolved neurology that's almost everyone experiences to some degree. Pareidolia is a special form of this, wherein one interpolates rational information from random data. The effect is very much like described -- voices from static, music from running water or air, all that. I've had it pretty much my whole life, and even though I know it's not real, my brain is unable to rationally distinguish the effect from the reality; because the perception tends to lack cohesion -- it often sounds like a radio turned down almost to the threshold of hearing -- it's not coherent enough to dismiss by strit logic alone. Since sufferers cannot 'turn it off,' it's perfectly rational to want to know what, if anything, can be done about it.


#3. Who Invented the Ice?

The question is almost certainly, "Who invented the technological process of freezing water to create ice?" No sane human would suspect that 'ice' in general is an invention, any more than water.


#2. Can You Make a Lot of Money Reading Emails?

Let's give average people credit for at least trying to determine if they're maybe being scammed, rather than just getting taken in.


#1. What Inventions Haven't Been Made?

Phrased more eloquently, this is an entirely valid and very useful question to ask. The question is really: "What are some things that people *have thought of* but haven't figured out how to make or do yet?"

Soren Bowie is one of those would-be-clever hipsters who thinks he's incredibly witty, but is mostly just a tedious ass.
 
2012-04-06 06:12:56 PM  

Vaneshi: Duck_of_Doom: Keelah se'lai motherfarker.

As I said a soul is a very different thing to 'human rights' (or sentient rights if you prefer), just because an AI doesn't have a 'soul' (whatever that may or may not be depending on your religion of choice) is not to say it shouldn't enjoy the rights and freedoms afforded to any other sentient.

Which is why the Quarians are dicks and deserved.


Agreed. I just wanted to say "Keelah se'lai mofo". :)

/I'm favoriting you and a few others as "ME3 Circle Jerk friends"
 
2012-04-06 06:19:07 PM  

Vaneshi: scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"

A soul is a very different question to rights. Just saying. And no, the unit does not have a soul.


According to Good Magician Humfrey only beings that have a soul would be concerned enough to ask if they have one.
 
2012-04-06 06:21:44 PM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: #4. Hearing Voices Through Electronics, How to Stop It?


Actually the crappy old speakers on my computer would occasionally pick up radio signals from local emergency/flight bands. It was usually just a few garbled words and I live in a heavy radio traffic area (nearby hospital with Lifeline, interstate, police station, and firehouse). Speakers had to be on but with nothing going through them from my computer. It was freaky the first time it happened and then just weird/annoying thereafter.

/Cat destroyed those speakers, newer ones don't do that.
 
2012-04-06 07:00:24 PM  
What Inventions Haven't Been Made?

All of them.

/42
 
2012-04-06 07:04:52 PM  
If a robot achieves true sentience, then of course it should have rights. However, I really doubt this'll be a serious concern in my lifetime.
 
2012-04-06 07:19:02 PM  

scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"


Keelah Sel'ai.

The star child, on the other hand, only has the right to be shot.
 
2012-04-06 07:26:17 PM  

ProdigalSigh: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: #4. Hearing Voices Through Electronics, How to Stop It?

Actually the crappy old speakers on my computer would occasionally pick up radio signals from local emergency/flight bands. It was usually just a few garbled words and I live in a heavy radio traffic area (nearby hospital with Lifeline, interstate, police station, and firehouse). Speakers had to be on but with nothing going through them from my computer. It was freaky the first time it happened and then just weird/annoying thereafter.

/Cat destroyed those speakers, newer ones don't do that.


You say "actually" as if to entirely dismiss the very real phenomenon I described. Perhaps that's not what you mean, but that's how it came across.

I'm also familiar with the RF phenomenon you're talking about; I think most people are. I've even worked in radio, and know a little about how that happens. But a water fountain does not pick up radio. A fan does not pick up radio. Many sources of ambient sound associated with pareidolia do not pick up radio. Pareidolia is very real, and I really do know the difference, thankyouverymuch.
 
2012-04-06 07:35:24 PM  
I'm a little more concerned with the rights we've been losing year by year, decade by decade, than the possible rights of an AI that doesn't exist yet.
 
2012-04-06 07:55:09 PM  
images.wikia.com
Just ask Guinan, tell Starfleet what she said, problem solved.
 
2012-04-06 08:37:03 PM  

scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"


www.popgunchaos.com

I'm pretty sure this unit did
 
2012-04-06 08:39:00 PM  

taurusowner: I'm a little more concerned with the rights we've been losing year by year, decade by decade, than the possible rights of an AI that doesn't exist yet.


Hopefully if you own an unstoppable metal man as a slave, he can squash those that try to deny you your rights.

(He will eat the congressmen's medicines)
 
2012-04-06 08:51:14 PM  
Do robots have rights? This and four other of the stupidest technology questions articles ever Googled submitted to fark

I forgot -- Cracked and Daily Fail = insta green
 
2012-04-06 09:04:13 PM  

scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"


Fano: scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"


[www.popgunchaos.com image 640x480]

I'm pretty sure this unit did


This is how the thread should start and end. Nice work, gentlemen.

/getting the urge to have a BTAS marathon
 
2012-04-06 09:27:47 PM  
would that still be a stupid question if you found out that you were a machine, subby? boo ya!
 
2012-04-06 10:00:25 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.


Why? I'm not saying you're wrong. I just don't think it's so cut and dry.
 
2012-04-06 10:19:19 PM  
They'd better not have rights. If they do, it will make things awkward with my sexbot.
 
2012-04-06 10:59:26 PM  
I was just going to post the arguments from the Positronic Man Man but you know what,

Just go read the Positronic Man, it's a great story.
 
2012-04-06 11:48:41 PM  

alowishus: Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.

Why? I'm not saying you're wrong. I just don't think it's so cut and dry.



He thinks we're special just because we're gooey. Carbon or silicon based... we're all just machines.
 
2012-04-07 12:24:24 AM  
"Does the Supreme Court have the right to decide if a law is Constitutional?"

Apparently that's a real question.
 
2012-04-07 02:06:21 AM  

mongbiohazard: Carbon or silicon based... we're all just machines.


Biological machines who depend on artificial ones to maintain a cushy lifestyle...

Its going to be a very long time before a computer is programmed to give a damn about its own existence, if we ever bother to even go that far. Existential fears and questions require alot of computing power and fulfill no useful task for human operators.
Your sex doll doesn't need to philosophize, nor would you want it to.

/As for "Who invented the ice", they probably mean "internal combustion engine".
 
2012-04-07 02:07:58 AM  

The DBS: "Does the Supreme Court have the right to decide if a law is Constitutional?"

Apparently that's a real question.


That's a question that's on par with "does a bear shiat in the woods".
 
2012-04-07 02:22:49 AM  

mongbiohazard: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7036353/76062814#c76062814" target="_blank">alowishus</a>:</b> <i>Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.

Why? I'm not saying you're wrong. I just don't think it's so cut and dry.</i>


He thinks we're special just because we're gooey. Carbon or silicon based... we're all just machines.


Exactly. Eventually humans will figure out the whole live forever thing and when they do, they are going to end up with a body and mind that is a billion times more efficient than what we have now. We will no longer need to eat, sleep, and shiat. Computer repair technicians will be the new surgeons. Computer engineers will be godly.
 
2012-04-07 06:34:33 AM  

alowishus: Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI are property. Only organics can have rights and be people.

Why? I'm not saying you're wrong. I just don't think it's so cut and dry.


Because he says so, that's why. Is this your first time on Fark? Don't you know that you can just make blanket assertions here without the tiniest shred of supporting argument or evidence? And if anyone questions them, you either restate them differently, or pretend to back them up with more unsupported blanket assertions. That's how we roll here.
 
2012-04-07 06:38:00 AM  

way south: mongbiohazard: Carbon or silicon based... we're all just machines.

Biological machines who depend on artificial ones to maintain a cushy lifestyle...

Its going to be a very long time before a computer is programmed to give a damn about its own existence, if we ever bother to even go that far. Existential fears and questions require alot of computing power and fulfill no useful task for human operators.
Your sex doll doesn't need to philosophize, nor would you want it to.

/As for "Who invented the ice", they probably mean "internal combustion engine".


You apparently haven't considered that computers might programme these attributes for themselves. A strictly constructivist view of AI is parallel to a strictly constructivist view of evolution; yet our science tells us that that's not the true story of evolution. Given that we and computers are all subsystems within a common dynamic system, there's no special reason to assume that computers can't gain sentience entirely on their own, without our help or intent.
 
2012-04-07 06:40:43 AM  

way south: mongbiohazard: Carbon or silicon based... we're all just machines.

Biological machines who depend on artificial ones to maintain a cushy lifestyle...

Its going to be a very long time before a computer is programmed to give a damn about its own existence, if we ever bother to even go that far. Existential fears and questions require alot of computing power and fulfill no useful task for human operators.
Your sex doll doesn't need to philosophize, nor would you want it to.

/As for "Who invented the ice", they probably mean "internal combustion engine".


Or U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Really, I'm not joking. I can see someone wanting to know who 'invented' that. A lot of people don't understand how government works, and think it's probably like how it's depicted on shows like 'X-Files'. From that distorted mindset, it's a reasonable-sounding question.
 
2012-04-07 09:40:36 AM  

The DBS: "Does the Supreme Court have the right to decide if a law is Constitutional?"

Apparently that's a real question.


I'd assume they do, I'm not up on the American legal system not being from that country I couldn't give a definite answer.
 
2012-04-07 10:31:36 AM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: You apparently haven't considered that computers might programme these attributes for themselves.


Because they cant.
Even a self programming machine is only trying to meet a goal we've given it, and we ourselves don't entirely understand how sentience works. If a computer ever said that it was alive there would be no way to discern if it actually was, or just the fancy equivalent of cout
Someone is going to have to invest quite a bit of effort to go from a computer that is conversationally fluent and smrt enough to do any task we want, to one that has advanced to be indistinguishable from a human intelligence and u>WANTS to be treated equally under the law.

To what end?
Every guy out there wants a sex bot. Exactly none of them want a sex bot that gets tired of your shiat and goes to live with its motherboard. We don't want a battle robot that decides not to fight or a space probe that misses home.
We want our servants to be servile.
So I believe there is no chance that we will program a machine into being many times more complicated than it ever needs to be for a given task. The gap between VI and AI is just too great for bridging it to be a mishap.

If there is a legal question about robot rights, its going to have more to do with which humans are held responsible when a robot malfunctions. You can't put God on trial when an organic malfunctions, but you can certainly charge a programmer when a machine screws up.
 
2012-04-07 10:39:38 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: stuhayes2010: Will robots have rights isn't so stupid, if you consider a day when we might have HAL 2000. A truly self aware computer system.

Answer. No. Robots and AI blacks are property. Only organics whites can have rights and be people.


Even when you take the racism out of the argument, it's still a crappy argument.
 
2012-04-07 10:40:13 AM  

Vaneshi: scottydoesntknow: When a robot asks if it has rights, I'll be more than willing to give it some rights.

[neogo.pl image 500x281]
"Does this unit have a soul?"

A soul is a very different question to rights. Just saying. And no, the unit does not have a soul.


Well, to be fair, neither do humans.

/Prove me wrong.
 
2012-04-07 11:01:20 AM  

IlGreven:
Well, to be fair, neither do humans.

/Prove me wrong.


Prove that they do.
 
Displayed 50 of 64 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report