Scha-wing.

she rides that thin line between the media calling her 'fat' and 'hot' like nobody's business.
you never quite know what she's gonna be from day to day, almost minute to minute...
you could fark her royally and burn some calories or you could slather your junk in various candy sauces and whipped cream for her.
you don't know HOW she's going to turn out, whether you'll be metaphorically high-fived by the media
or pitied and mocked for being a chubby chaser.

you can't know. you can only hang on for the ride.

that's the razor's edge.

that's where you feel alive.

Jesus, that woman's got some curves.

Yowza.

buttery_shame_cave: she rides that thin line between the media calling her 'fat' and 'hot' like nobody's business.
you never quite know what she's gonna be from day to day, almost minute to minute...
you could fark her royally and burn some calories or you could slather your junk in various candy sauces and whipped cream for her.
you don't know HOW she's going to turn out, whether you'll be metaphorically high-fived by the media
or pitied and mocked for being a chubby chaser.

you can't know. you can only hang on for the ride.

that's the razor's edge.

that's where you feel alive.

*slow clap*

Bigger smaller I would defile her either way.

Great boob-ily moog-ily!

I came!

Isn't she required to carry a "wide load" banner?

"Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Let's see a pic of what you fark nightly. Or would it just be a picture of your hand?

Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Have you told your parents that you're gay, yet?

She needs to get naked NOW because this is likely her last foray into hottie-ville.

Next time she goes big, she stays big.

Slurp.

gimmeafarkinname: She needs to get naked NOW because this is likely her last foray into hottie-ville.

Next time she goes big, she stays big.

She "goes big" almost monthly. Why would the next time be the one that sticks?

Jake Havechek: Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Have you told your parents that you're gay, yet?


Mumsy - Dada - there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about....

I would give that woman the most disappointing 30 seconds of her life.

Have her washed and sent to my chamber.

She still has a nice looking body, but the work she's had done on her face hasn't been kind.

Have her gigantic fake eyelashes peeled off and she'd be perfect.

Or leave her as is and we'll play cheesy porn star and pizza delivery guy.

Mega Steve: Want to touch the hiney...

"I want to be friends with it."

Some women end up in a yo-yo dieting cycle due to issues with keeping lost weight off long term.

Mega Steve: Want to touch the hiney...

No milk will ever be our milk

Sold I'll take 2.

 

British scientists use her perfect breasts to calibrate their instruments.


/and by "instruments", I mean, well you get the picture.

Honestly those pictures are a disappoinment. There are billboards and ads for her new show around the city with her on them that I just stop and ogle.

ColSanders: Mega Steve: Want to touch the hiney...

"I want to be friends with it."

"I KNEAD YOU LIKE FRESH PIZZA DOUGH!" -P. Opus

Debeo Summa Credo: Honestly those pictures are a disappoinment. There are billboards and ads for her new show around the city with her on them that I just stop and ogle.

Billboards and ads of almost any kind are notoriously airbrushed.

Tongue punch, fart box and so on.

She'd look better without the 3lbs of botox on top of her eyebrows.

"She has good, child-birthin' hips "

Come to me,you vajazzaled vixen....

has that "I'm baby crazy" look in her eye.

great googily moogily

Too old. I only fap to women half my age or younger.

Vajazzling!

I'm still waiting for that phone call, Jennifer. Did you lose my number?

I have always wanted to put my penis in her vagina.

Did I stutter?

I'd bury my nose in her A-hole and wave hello to her insides

R.A.Danny: Rent Party: Did I stutter?

[www.newopticalillusions.com image 344x400]

We heard you were a cock gobbling gayboy very clearly.

You owe me a keyboard!

It seems that there are lots of closeted gays here. Stop trashing the woman and come out of the closet.

Oh the things I would eat out of her butt!

GODDAM. I always had a thing for her. I would dedicate my life to giving her one orgasm after another.

She was so hot in the movie "Heartbreakers"... she is hot right now...

/ I would make tea by solely using her panties and hot water after she is done running a marathon during a hot, summer day in Miami.

Her eyes and smile just kill me -- so hot and cute at the same time!

Still my favorite JLH pic:

alwaysjaded: I'd hit it so hard, Gordon Lightfoot would crown me king of England while slamming a screen door in a hurricane and making me the fist of an angry God.

wow. you make no sense at all.

In before the cheesebutt post.

/fist, angry god, hit anyway, etc...

R.A.Danny: Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Nope. You're absolutely foolish for mentioning SJP and JLH in the same thread.

Maybe not foolish, but lacking what my grandfather used to call "horse sense."

_{For the record, I think JLH is teh hawt}

This picture of her is the best by far.

Cymbal, by putting that pic of the Band-Aid Sow alongside of JLo Hewitt, I've decided you can never recover.
Please report to the Soylent Corporation.

Kurmudgeon: Cymbal, by putting that pic of the Band-Aid Sow alongside of JLo Hewitt, I've decided you can never recover.
Please report to the Soylent Corporation.

Only if I get to eat the Band-Aid Sow's fleshbeard first. Have her bathed and brought to my chambers hog tied on a spit.

elev8meL8r: R.A.Danny: Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Nope. You're absolutely foolish for mentioning SJP and JLH in the same thread.

Maybe not foolish, but lacking what my grandfather used to call "horse sense."

For the record, I think JLH is teh hawt

my coworkers now think i'm slightly unbalanced for the hooting laughter you inspired.

buttery_shame_cave: elev8meL8r: R.A.Danny: Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Nope. You're absolutely foolish for mentioning SJP and JLH in the same thread.

Maybe not foolish, but lacking what my grandfather used to call "horse sense."

For the record, I think JLH is teh hawt

my coworkers now think i'm slightly unbalanced for the hooting laughter you inspired.

Come on, be honest here, they thought you were unbalanced before this latest incident. Didn't they?

/JLH has always been my favorite. Fat, skinny, young, old, she can do no wrong.

I see your JLH and raise going all in with Lacey chabert.



Better face, bigger boob to size ratio, and no chance of her ass hitting maximum density.

HOLY FARKING SHNIT!!

PERFECT SHAPE--IWANT IWANT IWANT!!


And a side order of Lacey Chabert would be good, too.

One of the best pron stars ever? Sara Stone. Loves me the bigger-boobed pneumatic girls.

/But no bolt-ons. Would rather have smaller and softer than weird plastic crap.

I'll defend her thighs to the death against fatty haters, but I gotta say I like her better with the pale skin/darker hair combo. Also less funky eye lashes.

I would defend her thighs too. With my ears.

That broad is awesome.
Oops, I forgot chicks don't like being called broads.

So hot!

laid back w/bud light: I see your JLH and raise going all in with Lacey chabert.

[t1.gstatic.com image 225x225]

Better face, bigger boob to size ratio, and no chance of her ass hitting maximum density.

And to prove it you post a six year old photo.

killzoe: So hot!

[www.dlisted.com image 445x568]

penis DID go there!

Rubber Biscuit
Are you white knighting JLH? 6 years old or not show me a bad recent picture of Lacey that looks worse than JLH. This is your challenge.

laid back w/bud light: Rubber Biscuit
Are you white knighting JLH? 6 years old or not show me a bad recent picture of Lacey that looks worse than JLH. This is your challenge.

Has Lacey Chabert been in anything lately?

Sexy as all hell from the neck down, but WAY too much mascara. She's got tanned skin and light brown hair, yet she shellacs her eyelashes with the equivalent of road tar. Well done, Jennifer.

gregario: Has Lacey Chabert been in anything lately?

Nothing good. I did find these, though:

zarberg
Exactly, thank you for reaffirming my post. Plus I've never heard of Lacey being a clingy girlfriend who gets dumped left and right, or pasting crystals over her box thinking I'm going to want to plow into it more than a standard box.
/Go get your shinebox!

laid back w/bud light: zarberg
Exactly, thank you for reaffirming my post. Plus I've never heard of Lacey being a clingy girlfriend who gets dumped left and right, or pasting crystals over her box thinking I'm going to want to plow into it more than a standard box.
/Go get your shinebox!

She's attractive, for sure, but she's a HORRIBLE actress and her voice makes me want to punch puppies. I think I read once before that she's a pretty devout Christian, so that might mean there's no hope she's ever showing T & A.

gregario: laid back w/bud light: Rubber Biscuit
Are you white knighting JLH? 6 years old or not show me a bad recent picture of Lacey that looks worse than JLH. This is your challenge.

Has Lacey Chabert been in anything lately?

Do my pants count?

/I wish

laid back w/bud light: Plus I've never heard of Lacey being a clingy girlfriend who gets dumped left and right

She's a little needy. She made me sell my Ferrari because she was jealous of the time I spent on it, and I had to give up both my summer homes in Spain because she was worried I was using them as places to cheat.

The sex was great, though.

Will never understand the drooling that goes on over this slightly-above-average-when-young, and distinctly-average-as-she-approaches-middle-age actress. With her time and resources, that's the best she can look? That ghastly grin which showcases her veneers or her latest hair extensions--she's just not a natural beauty. (I'd go so far as saying not a beauty at all, but that's just me.) Eyes too close together, horrible jawline, fivehead... Can I get a big MEH?

farkplug: Will never understand the drooling that goes on over this slightly-above-average-when-young, and distinctly-average-as-she-approaches-middle-age actress. With her time and resources, that's the best she can look? That ghastly grin which showcases her veneers or her latest hair extensions--she's just not a natural beauty. (I'd go so far as saying not a beauty at all, but that's just me.) Eyes too close together, horrible jawline, fivehead... Can I get a big MEH?

slightly horse-like but i'd still like to get her from behind.

because.

but only if she makes horsey noises and lets me wear my spurs

ZARBERG
Aside from never having a chance with her, why the argument. You sound like my ex-wife always making a spin-move mid argument. Now she's religeous? Which girls farked more in college? The ones raised in strict religeous families. You can keep your crazy vagazzled dumpy assed chronic dumpee.
/I'm out

laid back w/bud light: ZARBERG
Aside from never having a chance with her, why the argument. You sound like my ex-wife always making a spin-move mid argument. Now she's religeous? Which girls farked more in college? The ones raised in strict religeous families. You can keep your crazy vagazzled dumpy assed chronic dumpee.
/I'm out

k, dood, ur kool.

Hope you like cottage cheese

Less verbiage, more pictures

alwaysjaded: I'd hit it so hard, Gordon Lightfoot would crown me king of England while slamming a screen door in a hurricane and making me the fist of an angry God.

OK, I was with you right up to the part where Gordon Lightfoot made you fist an angry god. Is the god angry because you're fisting him or because it took Gordon Lightfoot to force you to do it?

/Gitchigumi

zarberg
Just like a biatch, always wanting the last word, biatch.

laid back w/bud light: zarberg
Just like a biatch, always wanting the last word, biatch.

k

laid back w/bud light: Hope you like cottage cheese

[t0.gstatic.com image 318x159]

Congratulations, you're the asshole who posted the picture that no JLH thread can do without, apparently.

laid back w/bud light: Hope you like cottage cheese

[t0.gstatic.com image 318x159]

Know how I know you have never seen a naked women in real life? Most women have cellulite to a certain degree.

/I'd hit her
//with my hot taco

Sigh. Woman!

/my fingers do not do what my brain says

The Shatner Incident: Sigh. Woman!

/my fingers do not do what my brain says

Sometimes that's a good quality in a woman.

The Shatner Incident
I've dated, married and farked many hotter than your profile pic. Stick to male sexy threads unless you're a lesbian.
/I know women have cellulite, I was married and have a 10 year old, was still totally attracted to her mother 50 lbs heavier.
// Owning your cellulite is an excuse not to exercise
/// Look forward to seeing you on a Xenadrine commercial soon "Hi I lost 30 pounds"!!!!

laid back w/bud light: The Shatner Incident
I've dated, married and farked many hotter than your profile pic. Stick to male sexy threads unless you're a lesbian.
/I know women have cellulite, I was married and have a 10 year old, was still totally attracted to her mother 50 lbs heavier.
// Owning your cellulite is an excuse not to exercise
/// Look forward to seeing you on a Xenadrine commercial soon "Hi I lost 30 pounds"!!!!

Ok, that confirms it, you're an epic douchebag who has to be at the gym in 26 minutes or a troll.

/grats dude!

MrBallou: I don't specifically like fat chicks, but I'm realistic about what humans looks like.

Perfectly said, good sir.

/besides, weight on women tends to go to the boobs as fast as it does the butt.

MrBallou
FYI I've never trolled, and only said one girl was hotter than another til provoked. If someone asked you to choose between Agelina Jolie or Selma Hayak would you voice your opinion?
/haven't been to the gym in years, still in shape FYI

laid back w/bud light: MrBallou
FYI I've never trolled, and only said one girl was hotter than another til provoked. If someone asked you to choose between Agelina Jolie or Selma Hayak would you voice your opinion?
/haven't been to the gym in years, still in shape FYI

All this time I thought Studman69 was just a meme! It's a real person!

All this time I though my delusinal ex wife wasn't on FARK I find out you are on here you slut. Zarberg do you Ice skate? I'd love to slash your anke some time soon. Coming from NC I figure you're only in into soccer or lacrosse/ pussy sports. You don't aven have a major league basebal team neer you but you have a fantasy league, who cares. you're not into NASCAR from that area? Please tell your parents you're gay, they may not be happy , but at least you're out.
?your studman reference makes no sense jackass

laid back w/bud light: All this time I though my delusinal ex wife wasn't on FARK I find out you are on here you slut. Zarberg do you Ice skate? I'd love to slash your anke some time soon. Coming from NC I figure you're only in into soccer or lacrosse/ pussy sports. You don't aven have a major league basebal team neer you but you have a fantasy league, who cares. you're not into NASCAR from that area? Please tell your parents you're gay, they may not be happy , but at least you're out.
?your studman reference makes no sense jackass

Know what's funny? When people make fun of themselves simply by letting the stream of word diarrhea pour out of their keyboards unabated.

It almost makes me feel like I'm out of a job, though, so it's kind of bittersweet.

MrBallou: No kidding. I saw the daughter of an old friend yesterday for the first time since she left home for college last fall. I remembered her as a skinny high school senior. When I saw her, my first thought was "Hey, she got a rack!". Then I realized that she'd put on the dreaded Freshman 15.

\\CSB or am I just a perv?

No, not a perv. If you can overlook the bit of extra weight, you can all-out enjoy the epic rack (might be NSFW)

laid back w/bud light: The Shatner Incident
I've dated, married and farked many hotter than your profile pic. Stick to male sexy threads unless you're a lesbian.
/I know women have cellulite, I was married and have a 10 year old, was still totally attracted to her mother 50 lbs heavier.
// Owning your cellulite is an excuse not to exercise
/// Look forward to seeing you on a Xenadrine commercial soon "Hi I lost 30 pounds"!!!!

Judging by your overblown reaction, I see my comment hit a little too close to home for you. Jesus, dude. This is Fark, not some sort of pissing contest. If you can't handle a little joshing, you should grow a thicker skin. Get over yourself and get a pair.

Damn she has a nice round ass. Is there ANY chance she shows us the goods someday? I say no.

laid back w/bud light: The Shatner Incident
I've dated, married and farked many hotter than your profile pic. Stick to male sexy threads unless you're a lesbian.
/I know women have cellulite, I was married and have a 10 year old, was still totally attracted to her mother 50 lbs heavier.
// Owning your cellulite is an excuse not to exercise
/// Look forward to seeing you on a Xenadrine commercial soon "Hi I lost 30 pounds"!!!!

I didn't know you could marry a Real Doll.

Lotta queers in this thread.


NTAWWT.

buttery_shame_cave: she rides that thin line between the media calling her 'fat' and 'hot' like nobody's business.

Of course, Hollywood "fat" is corn-belt "normal".

/And it ain't 'cuz corn-belt women are fat, lemme tell ya...

Jake Havechek: Rent Party: "Hotter than ever" for a woman that is right in there with Sarah Jessica Parker on the "hot" scale.

Nice tits, but they both have this going on...

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 338x450]

Have you told your parents that you're gay, yet?

Still isn't anything wrong for not wanting to fark a good-looking woman. Else everyone here who calls SJP a horse-face will have the wrath of the Two Douchebags upon them.

/See, it's funny because she has an elongated face, not unlike a horse's face.

Rwa2play: Raug the Dwarf: Jesus, that woman's got some curves.

Yowza.

That woman's got more curves than Monza.

/obscure?

...wouldn't the Nurburgring be more appropriate?

*sigh*

Alright...

I'll take one for the team...

crab66: Lotta queers in this thread.


NTAWWT.

laid back w/bud light: Hope you like cottage cheese

[t0.gstatic.com image 318x159]

Not an issue for most heterosexual men.

/Seriously, you think the cooch is any less sweet because of 8 extra pounds?

karmachameleon: laid back w/bud light: Hope you like cottage cheese

[t0.gstatic.com image 318x159]

Not an issue for most heterosexual men.

/Seriously, you think the cooch is any less sweet because of 8 extra pounds?

That, and you do know how nice it is for a women to have a round, grabable rear rather than something non-existant and bony?
/fun times

laid back w/bud light: Hope you like cottage cheese

[t0.gstatic.com image 318x159]

Meh...when that's the worst she's looked, that's not bad.

zarberg: extra

Holy heck.

zarberg: laid back w/bud light: All this time I though my delusinal ex wife wasn't on FARK I find out you are on here you slut. Zarberg do you Ice skate? I'd love to slash your anke some time soon. Coming from NC I figure you're only in into soccer or lacrosse/ pussy sports. You don't aven have a major league basebal team neer you but you have a fantasy league, who cares. you're not into NASCAR from that area? Please tell your parents you're gay, they may not be happy , but at least you're out.
?your studman reference makes no sense jackass

Know what's funny? When people make fun of themselves simply by letting the stream of word diarrhea pour out of their keyboards unabated.

It almost makes me feel like I'm out of a job, though, so it's kind of bittersweet.

MrBallou: No kidding. I saw the daughter of an old friend yesterday for the first time since she left home for college last fall. I remembered her as a skinny high school senior. When I saw her, my first thought was "Hey, she got a rack!". Then I realized that she'd put on the dreaded Freshman 15.

\\CSB or am I just a perv?

No, not a perv. If you can overlook the bit of extra weight, you can all-out enjoy the epic rack (might be NSFW)

Cute face and delightfully Rubenesque -- I bet she looks awesome all dressed up.

Cymbal:  

Trying waaaay too hard.


/I'd make sun-tea from her dirty panties

Wellon Dowd: Too old. I only fap to women half my age or younger.

Dude, you're 26.

(chrishansenseatoverthere.jpeg)

OgreMagi: laid back w/bud light: The Shatner Incident
I've dated, married and farked many hotter than your profile pic. Stick to male sexy threads unless you're a lesbian.
/I know women have cellulite, I was married and have a 10 year old, was still totally attracted to her mother 50 lbs heavier.
// Owning your cellulite is an excuse not to exercise
/// Look forward to seeing you on a Xenadrine commercial soon "Hi I lost 30 pounds"!!!!

I didn't know you could marry a Real Doll.

He apparently forgot to wash the doll out after every use. No wonder it was fifty pounds heavier.