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(Telegraph)   Not News: Man breaks into game preserve. News: Cannot get cash so he saws off a Rhino horn. FARK: It was a fiberglass Rhino head   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Fail, rhino, traditional medicine, South African, opportunists  
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4387 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2012 at 1:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-04 01:28:36 PM
At least he didn't go for the human horn.
 
2012-04-04 01:33:10 PM

Arkanaut: At least he didn't go for the human lower horn.


FTFY
 
Skr
2012-04-04 01:33:32 PM
So what's the symbology there?
 
2012-04-04 01:34:04 PM
somehow relevant

cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2012-04-04 01:35:50 PM
That's gonna suck when someone uses the powdered version of that horn as a medicine in a month.
 
2012-04-04 01:37:12 PM
Didn't RTFA, but I'm assuming that alcohol was involved?
 
2012-04-04 01:42:40 PM

Supes: That's gonna suck when someone uses the powdered version of that horn as a medicine in a month.



Well, at least the patient will get a good dose of fiber.
 
2012-04-04 01:46:19 PM

darch: Didn't RTFA, but I'm assuming that alcohol was involved?


Beat me by seven minutes! Durn!
 
2012-04-04 01:56:05 PM
Rhino horns are sought by international syndicates that sell them to the Asian traditional medicine market, where the substance is falsely believed to have healing properties

Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?
 
2012-04-04 01:59:03 PM

StrangeQ: Rhino horns are sought by international syndicates that sell them to the Asian traditional medicine market, where the substance is falsely believed to have healing properties

Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?


Because Jesus isn't an endangered species?
 
2012-04-04 02:02:41 PM

moops: somehow relevant

[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 531x254]


Exactly what I was thinking...

You win the thread.
 
2012-04-04 02:03:00 PM
"Because Jesus isn't an endangered species?"

If NBC can edit the report.....neither will rhinos.
 
2012-04-04 02:04:08 PM

StrangeQ: Rhino horns are sought by international syndicates that sell them to the Asian traditional medicine market, where the substance is falsely believed to have healing properties

Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?


Because he'd rather not be burned at the stake. I think in a few hundred years though, Jesus will be in the same as Ra, Apollo and Ronald Reagan.
 
2012-04-04 02:04:58 PM
I guess he didn't think his cunning plan all the way through? I third the "alcohol was involved" hypothesis.
 
2012-04-04 02:05:00 PM

StrangeQ: Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?


Because it isn't considered a "mystical practice" it's snake oil medicine. Traditional eastern medicine like rhino horn is exactly the same as traditional western medicine like different colored biles, a bunch of disproven horse crap.
 
2012-04-04 02:05:51 PM

Supes: That's gonna suck when someone uses the powdered version of that horn as a medicine in a month.


And then traditional Chinese medicine will drive up the prices of fiberglass.
 
2012-04-04 02:08:43 PM

HighlanderRPI: StrangeQ: Rhino horns are sought by international syndicates that sell them to the Asian traditional medicine market, where the substance is falsely believed to have healing properties

Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?

Because Jesus isn't an endangered species?


Well, technically, he is endangered; as there's only one Jesus.

/ the alpha and omega, on the endangered spieces list, ect ect

// I keed, I keed
 
2012-04-04 02:09:59 PM
Someone just finished reading this:

smhttp.14409.nexcesscdn.net
 
2012-04-04 02:13:17 PM

iheartscotch: Well, technically, he is endangered; as there's only one Jesus.

/ the alpha and omega, on the endangered spieces list, ect ect

// I keed, I keed


No way, He can't be endangered! They keep feeding bits of him out every Sunday, there must be many Jesuses (Jesuii?) available as food
 
2012-04-04 02:14:40 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: StrangeQ: Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?

Because it isn't considered a "mystical practice" it's snake oil medicine. Traditional eastern medicine like rhino horn is exactly the same as traditional western medicine like different colored biles, a bunch of disproven horse crap.


Similar to, oh I don't know, people being able to rise from the dead?
 
2012-04-04 02:15:11 PM
Thanks for the laugh subby.
 
2012-04-04 02:22:21 PM

StrangeQ: To The Escape Zeppelin!: StrangeQ: Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?

Because it isn't considered a "mystical practice" it's snake oil medicine. Traditional eastern medicine like rhino horn is exactly the same as traditional western medicine like different colored biles, a bunch of disproven horse crap.

Similar to, oh I don't know, people being able to rise from the dead?


If you can't see the difference between what is a religious belief that supposedly happened once and can never be tested versus something that is a medical belief that has been tested then you are not as smart as you think you are.
 
2012-04-04 02:23:24 PM

HighlanderRPI: iheartscotch: Well, technically, he is endangered; as there's only one Jesus.

/ the alpha and omega, on the endangered spieces list, ect ect

// I keed, I keed

No way, He can't be endangered! They keep feeding bits of him out every Sunday, there must be many Jesuses (Jesuii?) available as food


Well; those bits all come from one Jesus. (He kind of let himself go after he ascended to heaven; that's why he hasn't come back yet. Heaven isn't mobility chair accessible.)

/ I bet Mary mangdalen would still do him though.

// I keed, I keed
 
2012-04-04 02:26:49 PM
Here's to hoping the fiberglass rhino safely makes it to Pretoria as the article mentions...

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-04-04 02:27:10 PM

sign_of_Zeta: StrangeQ: To The Escape Zeppelin!: StrangeQ: Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?

Because it isn't considered a "mystical practice" it's snake oil medicine. Traditional eastern medicine like rhino horn is exactly the same as traditional western medicine like different colored biles, a bunch of disproven horse crap.

Similar to, oh I don't know, people being able to rise from the dead?

If you can't see the difference between what is a religious belief that supposedly happened once and can never be tested versus something that is a medical belief that has been tested then you are not as smart as you think you are.


Bad setups, experimenter's negative energy affecting the outcome, ect, ect...

But I'll rephrase, since you want to try to act smarter than you are to defend a undefendable position.

"Supporters are gathered to hold a prayer vigil, in the false idea that it will have any effect."

Never see that either, do ya?
 
2012-04-04 02:30:06 PM
Last year, a record 448 rhinos were poached in South Africa. That makes me physically sick.

Don't these people know that fried or scrambled is the way to go?
 
2012-04-04 02:31:46 PM

Enormous-Schwanstucker: moops: somehow relevant

[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 531x254]

Exactly what I was thinking...

You win the thread.


Thirded
 
2012-04-04 02:32:19 PM

StrangeQ: sign_of_Zeta: StrangeQ: To The Escape Zeppelin!: StrangeQ: Here's a question: why can journalists so cavalierly dismiss mystical practices such as these, but you won't see them say something like "This coming Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day when Christians falsely believe that Jesus rose from the dead"?

Because it isn't considered a "mystical practice" it's snake oil medicine. Traditional eastern medicine like rhino horn is exactly the same as traditional western medicine like different colored biles, a bunch of disproven horse crap.

Similar to, oh I don't know, people being able to rise from the dead?

If you can't see the difference between what is a religious belief that supposedly happened once and can never be tested versus something that is a medical belief that has been tested then you are not as smart as you think you are.

Bad setups, experimenter's negative energy affecting the outcome, ect, ect...

But I'll rephrase, since you want to try to act smarter than you are to defend a undefendable position.

"Supporters are gathered to hold a prayer vigil, in the false idea that it will have any effect."

Never see that either, do ya?


Trying to equate something mystical with medical is illogical. The difference is one is based of faith (something not scientific) while one is based on false views of medicine (scientific). The whole point of religion is it's a power than doesn't have to follow natural law. If it did it'd be science. You are just trying to be a religion troll... which I guess worked.
 
2012-04-04 02:45:40 PM
I broke in to a Jelly Preserve once. Got in to a sticky situation, a jam if you will. The mention of this fellow's incident jarred my memory. It's a cautionary tale. I'm not being smucker at all.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-04-04 02:47:07 PM

HighlanderRPI: iheartscotch: Well, technically, he is endangered; as there's only one Jesus.

/ the alpha and omega, on the endangered spieces list, ect ect

// I keed, I keed

No way, He can't be endangered! They keep feeding bits of him out every Sunday, there must be many Jesuses (Jesuii?) available as food


I think he can reproduce. Not sexually, Jesus doesn't do that dirty stuff. He uses fission like bacteria, then feeds us the clones.
 
2012-04-04 02:48:47 PM

sign_of_Zeta: Trying to equate something mystical with medical is illogical. The difference is one is based of faith (something not scientific) while one is based on false views of medicine (scientific). The whole point of religion is it's a power than doesn't have to follow natural law. If it did it'd be science. You are just trying to be a religion troll... which I guess worked.


And trying to separate the two because you're afraid of exposing another chink in your precious religion is disengenuous.

First thing I found on google (new window)

Li Shih Chen's 1597 materia medica (translated by Bernard Read in 1931) listed the following ailments, amongst others, where the rhino horn is useful, "devil possession, keep away evil spirits and miasmas, gelsemium poisoning, hallucinations, bewitching nightmares, intermittent twitches with delirium, loss of vision, calming the liver, fear, anxiety, arthritis, loss of voice, typhoid, headache, fever".

Sounds pretty mystical to me.
 
2012-04-04 02:49:28 PM
www.watchvideogames.com
One day he will try that with the wrong mother farker
 
2012-04-04 02:58:17 PM
I've decided my future will involve rhino ranching. Apparently I just need to sedate them every few months, chop off their horns, and sell them to gullible morons for obscene amounts of money.

/or I could probably just grind up my own fingernail clippings and sell those as "powdered rhino horn"
 
2012-04-04 03:03:24 PM
Mmmmmmmmm....game preserves
blog.oregonlive.com
 
2012-04-04 03:59:13 PM

Supes: That's gonna suck when someone uses the powdered version of that horn as a medicine in a month.


Since it's used as a natural form of Viagra, one wonders what part of the anatomy will benefit from infusion of fake rhino horn.
 
2012-04-04 04:07:00 PM
Meh.

This also happened a while back at my local museum:

Link (new window)
 
2012-04-04 04:27:49 PM

StrangeQ: sign_of_Zeta: Trying to equate something mystical with medical is illogical. The difference is one is based of faith (something not scientific) while one is based on false views of medicine (scientific). The whole point of religion is it's a power than doesn't have to follow natural law. If it did it'd be science. You are just trying to be a religion troll... which I guess worked.

And trying to separate the two because you're afraid of exposing another chink in your precious religion is disengenuous.

First thing I found on google (new window)

Li Shih Chen's 1597 materia medica (translated by Bernard Read in 1931) listed the following ailments, amongst others, where the rhino horn is useful, "devil possession, keep away evil spirits and miasmas, gelsemium poisoning, hallucinations, bewitching nightmares, intermittent twitches with delirium, loss of vision, calming the liver, fear, anxiety, arthritis, loss of voice, typhoid, headache, fever".

Sounds pretty mystical to me.


And the real reason: it gives boners. That is pretty much the root of all Eastern medicine.
 
2012-04-04 04:51:08 PM

uber humper: And the real reason: it gives boners. That is pretty much the root of all Eastern medicine.


If I remember correctly Rhino horns are a bundle of hair that evolved into a stiff horn. Some enterprising wildlife conservationist should figure out a way to make a good counterfeit Rhino horn, maybe using hair clippings, horse hide glue and a lot of compression and flood the asian market with them. I'm sure the placebo effect would be just as strong as the real thing.
 
2012-04-04 05:01:09 PM

MythDragon: [www.watchvideogames.com image 440x409]
One day he will try that with the wrong mother farker


A regular rhino isn't much nicer than that guy. He was trying to learn the trade first before going after the dangerous real horn.
 
2012-04-04 05:03:44 PM

steve_wmn: uber humper: And the real reason: it gives boners. That is pretty much the root of all Eastern medicine.

If I remember correctly Rhino horns are a bundle of hair that evolved into a stiff horn. Some enterprising wildlife conservationist should figure out a way to make a good counterfeit Rhino horn, maybe using hair clippings, horse hide glue and a lot of compression and flood the asian market with them. I'm sure the placebo effect would be just as strong as the real thing.


I can't wait till the Chinese mystics find out about stem cells. Forget about growing it in the lab, they'll inject it in their penis.
 
2012-04-04 05:31:15 PM

moops: somehow relevant

[cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 531x254]


wtf! warn a dude next time!
 
2012-04-04 06:30:24 PM

vpb: HighlanderRPI: iheartscotch: Well, technically, he is endangered; as there's only one Jesus.

/ the alpha and omega, on the endangered spieces list, ect ect

// I keed, I keed

No way, He can't be endangered! They keep feeding bits of him out every Sunday, there must be many Jesuses (Jesuii?) available as food

I think he can reproduce. Not sexually, Jesus doesn't do that dirty stuff. He uses fission like bacteria, then feeds us the clones.


Hm, presuming Jesus is multi-cellular, binary fission is unlikely - maybe he just grows a bud like yeast... or like that guy in the creepy cars.com commercial
 
2012-04-05 01:10:02 AM
I'm a lone rhinoceros
there ain't one hell of a lots of us
left in this world
I stand alone in my concrete cell
where people stare and toss me Coke cans
I guess it's better than being poached
but I'd give my horn just to see my homeland
I'm a lone rhinoceros
there ain't one hell of a lots of us
left in this world
They say I am ugly,
call me a beast
I hear them snicker
when I'm half asleep
Is beauty such a big commodity
I always heard it was only so deep
I'm a lone rhinoceros
there ain't one hell of a lots of us
left in this world
I know the zoos protect my species
they give me food, collect my feces
but I can't help it, I miss the past
I'll never again see my good old mudbath
 
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