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(TMZ)   Why we are failing as a species: Levi Johnston has successfully propagated his genes again with another woman. Meanwhile, there are guys at MIT perfecting The Grand Unified Field Theory who can't even get a date with a human female   (tmz.com) divider line 155
    More: Sad, Levi Johnston  
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9211 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2012 at 12:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-04 10:01:19 AM
Actually, the failing of the species is that there are people whose job it is to report when some redneck knocks up a white trash bimbo, and that those reports are widely reported on TV, radio, and internet media outlets. As Arlo Guthrie said, the really amazing thing is that someone can make a living doing something this stupid for this long.
 
2012-04-04 10:11:44 AM
Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again.
 
2012-04-04 10:13:58 AM
You'd think someone named Levi would do a better job of keeping it in his pants.
 
2012-04-04 10:54:22 AM

Petit_Merdeux: Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again.


1.bp.blogspot.com

No kidding.

It was supposed to be a cautionary tale, not a how-to.
 
2012-04-04 11:29:23 AM
Umm, you realize there are Ted Talks on the same internet as TMZ. If you don't like the reporting on idiots who knock up others, then we should all go somewhere else.
 
2012-04-04 11:30:54 AM
www.babble.com

"Pleased am I with your training young padawan."
 
2012-04-04 12:17:41 PM
Smart parents do not necessarily produce smart children, and dumb parents do not necessarily produce dumb children.

/feel free to argue about definitions of "smart" and "dumb"
//i'll be over here listening to Bach and ignoring you
 
2012-04-04 12:25:58 PM
I wonder if this young upstanding woman's mom is interested in politics.
 
2012-04-04 12:26:37 PM
MIT guys like to fly to Colorado to sleep with a mother and her two daughters.
 
2012-04-04 12:26:40 PM
First: Why we are failing as a species: Levi Johnston has successfully propagated his genes again with another woman. Meanwhile, there are guys at MIT perfecting The Grand Unified Field Theory who can't even get a date with a human female

Second: So yeah, we're pretty much boned

A perfect storm of headlines.
 
2012-04-04 12:27:27 PM
In some other "article" about this, he stated that impregnating her was an accident, as he wrung his hands desperately at the thought of gracing the news one last time.
 
2012-04-04 12:27:27 PM
Meanwhile, there are guys at MIT perfecting The Grand Unified Field Theory who can't even get a date with a human female

They knew the risks when they took up a life of science.
 
2012-04-04 12:27:28 PM
As a college student sitting in the middle of a sausage fest CS class, I'm getting a real kick.

/sororities have their chapter meetings in the engineering building
//a wild FEMALE has appeared!
 
2012-04-04 12:29:25 PM
The next "Johnston Checks In" should be epic.

Johnston Checks In
 
2012-04-04 12:30:30 PM
"the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?
 
2012-04-04 12:31:00 PM
There would be women for those nerds to date if this country wasn't so caught up with keeping women down. You know, pregant and in menial jobs, earning less money than men for the same job.

Democrats want to pay for voluntary IUDs. Republicans want rape wands.

Your choice is clear. Get those nerds laid!! Vote Democratic!!1!
 
2012-04-04 12:31:46 PM

pheelix: "the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?


Charter school, probably.
 
2012-04-04 12:32:36 PM
pshaw, I say! Who needs a human female?

cdn.wg.uproxx.com
 
2012-04-04 12:32:57 PM
ll-media.tmz.com

I've noticed in the last year that wearing a camo hat everywhere is a subcultural signifier of either being a hunter or maybe just being country in either affection or location. Levi wants you to know that this is his image. Hunter/good ol' boy.

Has this always been true or am I just now noticing it?
 
2012-04-04 12:33:13 PM

pheelix: "the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?


Stripper school.
 
2012-04-04 12:34:07 PM
I'm assuming it's a good thing I don't know who Levi Johnston is?
 
2012-04-04 12:34:25 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: pheelix: "the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?

Charter school, probably.


Or private school. Most people think private schools have better teachers but a lot of the religous (sp) ones have "teachers" that don't even have a degree. Why pay $2 grand + a year for a school where your kids are getting tought by some person that's doesn't even have any college.
 
2012-04-04 12:34:59 PM
They opened up a Cabela's in Wichita a few weeks ago. Brought in a couple of the Gator Men or Swamp Men or something from one of those History Channel shows. Friend and I were stupid enough to go check it out opening weekend.

I'm not hating on Cabela's, it's a fine store that I love to go spend hundreds of dollars at on fishing equipment I never get a chance to use. But Goddamn, you want to talk about Neck City? It's like every dude in the city of Wichita wearing a sleeveless shirt was there that day, shoulder hair to shoulder hair. You couldn't turn around without reading a t-shirt with someone's opinion on the 2nd amendment. I felt like climbing up a tree stand and spending the rest of the day observing the movements and behaviors of these people, Jane Goodall style.
 
2012-04-04 12:35:20 PM

Rapmaster2000: [ll-media.tmz.com image 550x400]

I've noticed in the last year that wearing a camo hat everywhere is a subcultural signifier of either being a hunter or maybe just being country in either affection or location. Levi wants you to know that this is his image. Hunter/good ol' boy.

Has this always been true or am I just now noticing it?


It's been true for a number of years.
 
2012-04-04 12:36:10 PM

Makh: Umm, you realize there are Ted Talks on the same internet as TMZ. If you don't like the reporting on idiots who knock up others, then we should all go somewhere else.


Ban them to Usenet.

It's the nerds' Internet. I say we take it back.
 
2012-04-04 12:36:15 PM
Well the world needs ditch diggers too.
 
2012-04-04 12:36:16 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: pheelix: "the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?

Charter school, probably.


Maybe it is the Palin Academy for Advanced Alaska Studies
 
2012-04-04 12:36:35 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Smart parents do not necessarily produce smart children, and dumb parents do not necessarily produce dumb children.

/feel free to argue about definitions of "smart" and "dumb"
//i'll be over here listening to Bach and ignoring you


True, though intelligent children of stupid people tend to have fewer opportunities to use their intelligence, and tend to more often use their intelligence for evil purposes or to just waste it. Perhaps more importantly, stupid children of intelligent parents tend to at least do fewer stupid things and tend to be less of a drag on society as a whole.
 
2012-04-04 12:36:57 PM

pheelix: "the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?


From what I understand Wasilla is a small town in Alaska so the use and definition of the word "teacher" is perhaps broader than what most people would accept.
 
2012-04-04 12:37:46 PM

AKTurkey: pshaw, I say! Who needs a human female?

[cdn.wg.uproxx.com image 429x630]


!!!
 
2012-04-04 12:37:49 PM

pheelix: I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?


According to the Googles, she's a "preschool teacher".
 
2012-04-04 12:38:26 PM
It's kind of amazing.
People get this powerful attraction to each other and fark themselves silly...can't keep their hands off each other.
Then once conception has taken place their feelings toward do a complete (and FAST) 1800...they not only don't like each other but they can't stand the thought of their erstwhile partner having any further happiness in their lives- with or without them.

Seems once the biological imperative has been fulfilled attraction turns to violent dislike and you end up on Maury or Jerry Springer.

/ this is another reason why understanding of and access to reliable birth control is important...keeps the hostility level down as well.
 
2012-04-04 12:38:34 PM

Marine1: Rapmaster2000: [ll-media.tmz.com image 550x400]

I've noticed in the last year that wearing a camo hat everywhere is a subcultural signifier of either being a hunter or maybe just being country in either affection or location. Levi wants you to know that this is his image. Hunter/good ol' boy.

Has this always been true or am I just now noticing it?

It's been true for a number of years.


Interesting. I wonder if people notice my top hat and monocle.
 
2012-04-04 12:38:38 PM
We're not failing as a species subby- there are more humans alive now than there ever have been.

Evolution doesn't care one whit for brains. It cares only about reproductive success. If brains help you have more kids, then brains get selected for. If not, too bad.

/I have a hard science Ph.D
//I have no biological children
///I am an evolutionary dead end.
////Humanity will go on
 
2012-04-04 12:39:03 PM
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: "Smart parents do not necessarily produce smart children, and dumb parents do not necessarily produce dumb children."

This. If dumb people only produced dumb offspring, we'd never have gotten out of the damn trees.
If anything, we can thank the dumb people for preserving genetic diversity while the 'smart' people seem intent on delaying reproduction until well into the exponential curve of increased genetic risk.
 
2012-04-04 12:41:47 PM

WTF Indeed: Actually, the failing of the species is that there are people whose job it is to report when some redneck knocks up a white trash bimbo, and that those reports are widely reported on TV, radio, and internet media outlets. As Arlo Guthrie said, the really amazing thing is that someone can make a living doing something this stupid for this long.


And another failing of the species are judgmental fake ass intellectuals. What makes this chick a white trash bimbo? You know something no one else does? It says she's a teacher that got pregnant from a guy who she has dated for a year. I guess the dorks just don't get it because they don't have the balls to talk to a woman, much less fark one.
 
2012-04-04 12:42:02 PM

AKTurkey: pshaw, I say! Who needs a human female?


I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there's Archer cosplay but I am.
 
2012-04-04 12:42:10 PM
To be fair, the Alaskan dating pool is not exactly chock full of MIT grads.
 
2012-04-04 12:42:21 PM

AKTurkey: pshaw, I say! Who needs a human female?

[cdn.wg.uproxx.com image 429x630]


That is beyond awesome. Dragoncon?
 
2012-04-04 12:42:31 PM

Rapmaster2000: [ll-media.tmz.com image 550x400]

I've noticed in the last year that wearing a camo hat everywhere is a subcultural signifier of either being a hunter or maybe just being country in either affection or location. Levi wants you to know that this is his image. Hunter/good ol' boy.

Has this always been true or am I just now noticing it?


That's all they sell for men's clothes in Wasilla. You might also notice the Carhartt pants - same deal there, for the most part. You can also buy Levi's, but only in obese sizes. I wish I was kidding.
 
2012-04-04 12:42:33 PM
What a guy with a PhD that couldn't get laid in women's prison with a handful of pardons might look like:

cdn1.hark.com

If they are so shy they can't talk to a woman, then they really had no chance to begin with.
 
2012-04-04 12:42:38 PM
So what, Penny is chopped liver or what are you saying here subby?!?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-04 12:43:35 PM

jayhawk88: They opened up a Cabela's in Wichita a few weeks ago. Brought in a couple of the Gator Men or Swamp Men or something from one of those History Channel shows. Friend and I were stupid enough to go check it out opening weekend.

I'm not hating on Cabela's, it's a fine store that I love to go spend hundreds of dollars at on fishing equipment I never get a chance to use. But Goddamn, you want to talk about Neck City? It's like every dude in the city of Wichita wearing a sleeveless shirt was there that day, shoulder hair to shoulder hair. You couldn't turn around without reading a t-shirt with someone's opinion on the 2nd amendment. I felt like climbing up a tree stand and spending the rest of the day observing the movements and behaviors of these people, Jane Goodall style.


Yes...you're soooo much better than them...you should be smug!
 
2012-04-04 12:43:44 PM

pheelix: "the lucky woman is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old school teacher from Wasilla, Alaska."

I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach. Or is the author really describing a day care worker or teacher's aide in yet another case if shiatty reporting?


I think each state varies regarding qualifications to teach. And it wouldn't surprise me that Alaska has low requirements considering they always have a shortage of educated professionals there. Some one has to teach the kids. If you can only get community college grads to do it, that's what you do.
 
rka
2012-04-04 12:43:58 PM

Lord Dimwit: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Smart parents do not necessarily produce smart children, and dumb parents do not necessarily produce dumb children.

/feel free to argue about definitions of "smart" and "dumb"
//i'll be over here listening to Bach and ignoring you

True, though intelligent children of stupid people tend to have fewer opportunities to use their intelligence, and tend to more often use their intelligence for evil purposes or to just waste it. Perhaps more importantly, stupid children of intelligent parents tend to at least do fewer stupid things and tend to be less of a drag on society as a whole.


Is that a fact?
 
2012-04-04 12:44:40 PM
The MIT nerd could just pay for it. Plenty of escorts in Boston.

Women love douches with game. He has it. And a sweet camo hat like a real man should.
 
Ehh
2012-04-04 12:45:00 PM
Yomoxu: A perfect storm of headlines.

Indeed. Stupid people are reproducing at an alarming rate, and the smart ones are gathering data on the coming collapse.

Thanks for the morning pick-me-up, Fark.
 
2012-04-04 12:45:48 PM

AKTurkey: pshaw, I say! Who needs a human female?

[cdn.wg.uproxx.com image 429x630]


Haha, awesome cosplay.
 
2012-04-04 12:47:10 PM
Good and Bad.

Good:
Most of the guys 'excelling' in science and technology today are not the superstars their precursors were. They are mostly just people who are good at memorizing stuff, enduring tedious college courses (and having parents wealthy enough to pay) and barfing up jargon to seem smart to dumb people. Ever wonder why science seemed to stop early in this century? Why sharp insight was replaced with useless phone-book sized 'proofs'? I call it the 'Poison Ivy League Effect', though it's also been called the Gray Plague. We pick the wrong people for the job. So, losing them is not too big a deal. (Trust me, I've worked with soooo many.)

Bad:
Human Females were never meant to pick their own mates. That's why arranged marriages were the norm for most of civilized human history. This is not just humans, animals where the female chooses the male usually get goofy. Peacocks and birds of paradise are good examples. Evolution stops working when males stop killing or fighting each other off for mates. So yeah, we're on a downward trend today. Just hope we get enough truly smart people in science that technology can compensate.
 
2012-04-04 12:47:14 PM
pheelix: I thought teachers needed a 4-year degree in some sort of education related field along with proper training and a license to teach.

Forget it, Jake. It's Wasilla-town.


Rapmaster2000: I've noticed in the last year that wearing a camo hat everywhere is a subcultural signifier of either being a hunter or maybe just being country in either affection or location...Has this always been true or am I just now noticing it?

It's always been true in Northern Michigan. I assume the hats are handed out at the unemployment office, along with the keys to a rusted-out American pick-up truck and a shiatty brown neck beard.
 
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