FARK.com: (7032136) Mitt Romney runs winPrimary(String location) function on "Maryland", "Wisconsin", and "District of Columbia", making boolean assuredVictory = true

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		Mitt Romney runs winPrimary(String location) function on "Maryland", "Wisconsin", and "District of Columbia", making boolean assuredVictory = true (csmonitor.com)		77
		More: Obvious, Mitt Romney, President Obama, District of Columbia, Wisconsin, Maryland, GOP, presumptive nominee, visual routine

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435 clicks; posted to Politics » on 04 Apr 2012 at 9:27 AM | Favorite | share:

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bulldg4life		2012-04-04 09:29:30 AM

So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

parsonsparsons		2012-04-04 09:29:31 AM

$personality = 0

CPennypacker		2012-04-04 09:29:33 AM

EXECUTE FUNCTION CTRL+SHIFT+KILL

NeverDrunk23		2012-04-04 09:33:37 AM

I asked a Romney input about a policy stance and all I got was a blue screen.

ManateeGag		2012-04-04 09:34:01 AM

bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

quatchi		2012-04-04 09:34:19 AM

mathematically improbable ...does not mean mathematically impossible but yeah Nate Silver saying there's a 97% chance Mittens will get the nom before Florida does kinda put an end to the illusion of a horse race here.

Gonna go out on a limb here and be the first to say...

"It will be Romney and he will lose to Obama".

/Yes, that's the joke.

vernonFL		2012-04-04 09:36:06 AM

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down...

Karac		2012-04-04 09:37:07 AM

Romney's closest rival, ex-Pennsylvania Senator Santorum, would need to win 80 percent of the remaining delegates to clinch the nomination, according to the AP.

The author fails to realize that Santorum and Gingrich don't need to get enough delegates for one of them to win the nomination, they just need to win enough to keep Mitt from getting to the magic number. Both of them are banking on winning during sudden death overtime after nobody locks the nomination before the convention.

quatchi		2012-04-04 09:37:19 AM

ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

friday13		2012-04-04 09:37:52 AM

This is good news...for Obama.

jayhawk88		2012-04-04 09:38:16 AM

Silly hu011011 X[100X
@10101[10it Ro011011 0 1ney00
1^C10010uns on0010000 0 bin011
^K10010y.

GoodyearPimp		2012-04-04 09:38:53 AM

quatchi: Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

I have a better idea: Sarah Palin. The fact that she lost last time means she's due!

Forgot_my_password_again		2012-04-04 09:38:56 AM

santorum is still getting a good chuck of votes, sending clear message to the party leadership - don't forget about the ignorant, intolerant, theist bigots who are afraid of blah people and want to suppress the rights of everyone not a white male christian.

Good job rick.

jayhawk88		2012-04-04 09:39:04 AM

jayhawk88: Silly hu011011 X[100X
@10101[10it Ro011011 0 1ney00
1^C10010uns on0010000 0 bin011
^K10010y.

Lol, filter-owned.

Headso		2012-04-04 09:40:07 AM

quatchi: ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

People already see Romney as weird, I doubt he'd pick Rand Paul.

Serious Black		2012-04-04 09:40:55 AM

getVictoryStatus("Mitt Romney","primary") returns true.
getVictoryStatus("Barack Obama","general") also returns true.

Karac		2012-04-04 09:41:17 AM

vernonFL: [eandt.theiet.org image 640x427]

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down...

Paul: that turtle should flip himself over by his own bootstraps. Keeping tortoise's bellies from baking in the sun is not in the Constitution.
Gingrich: By my second term, I will have personally built a space elevator that will upright all turtles in the entire world.
Santorum: That turtle should turn the other shell and pray to God for divine intervention.
Romney: I would turn the turtle back over, unless of course a majority of republican voters want turtle soup, or if I am asked the question a second time.

Lost Thought 00		2012-04-04 09:42:11 AM

Karac: they just need to win enough to keep Mitt from getting to the magic number

They don't have any real chance of doing that either, since Romney will sweep NY, NJ, and California, all of which are winner-take-all

Guidette Frankentits		2012-04-04 09:43:01 AM

bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

That's gonna be difficult considering he said no way Jose (new window)

King Something		2012-04-04 09:43:22 AM

Headso: quatchi: ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

People already see Romney as weird, I doubt he'd pick Rand Paul.

People in general see Romney as weird. THE BASE sees Romney as too moderate -- which is why they're giving Ryan any consideration for the sidekick position.

Lost Thought 00		2012-04-04 09:45:25 AM

Guidette Frankentits: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

That's gonna be difficult considering he said no way Jose (new window)

Taking the VP slot is a career ender. I don't know why any up-and-comer would want the position. The only likely candidates must be either completely unknown on the national stage or near the end of their political life anyways.

inglixthemad		2012-04-04 09:45:56 AM

Lost Thought 00: Karac: they just need to win enough to keep Mitt from getting to the magic number

They don't have any real chance of doing that either, since Romney will sweep NY, NJ, and California, all of which are winner-take-all

Well I guess I can stop my popcorn order. I was hoping for a derp filled, brokered convention.

Headso		2012-04-04 09:46:30 AM

King Something: Headso: quatchi: ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

People already see Romney as weird, I doubt he'd pick Rand Paul.

People in general see Romney as weird. THE BASE sees Romney as too moderate -- which is why they're giving Ryan any consideration for the sidekick position.

You don't need to appease the base anymore though, they have been fed a diet of fartbongo is the muslim-communist-socialist-anti-christ for 4 years and he's a black dude. He needs to go the same route Obama went and pick someone that is seen as normal.

quatchi		2012-04-04 09:48:04 AM

GoodyearPimp: quatchi: Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

I have a better idea: Sarah Palin. The fact that she lost last time means she's due!

26.media.tumblr.com

Like the Generals?

/Hot like Krusty losing a bet.

Rapmaster2000		2012-04-04 09:48:35 AM

quatchi: ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

I'm calling Rubio, but then I called Mitch Daniels to win the nomination last year so my failure cancels out your success. HA HA!

RAND PAUL!

WhoIsWillo		2012-04-04 09:49:34 AM

randomjsa		2012-04-04 09:50:44 AM

Well at least he has more up to date software than Obama, who for some reason still thinks liberal ideas will actually work.

King Something		2012-04-04 09:52:05 AM

Headso: King Something: Headso: quatchi: ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

People already see Romney as weird, I doubt he'd pick Rand Paul.

People in general see Romney as weird. THE BASE sees Romney as too moderate -- which is why they're giving Ryan any consideration for the sidekick position.

You don't need to appease the base anymore though, they have been fed a diet of fartbongo is the muslim-communist-socialist-anti-christ for 4 years and he's a black dude. He needs to go the same route Obama went and pick someone that is seen as normal.

A sane person or group of people would be inclined to agree with you.

The Republican Party say fit to put Sarah Palin on the ticket because the base thought that John McCain was too moderate, and after the election they assumed he lost (to the most liberallest liberal who ever liberalled) because he wasn't conservative enough and decided to go harder to the right than Dale Earnhardt. I have no reason to believe the GOP will not do that again.

/too soon?

Lenny_da_Hog		2012-04-04 09:52:25 AM

We get it. He's a robot.

qorkfiend		2012-04-04 09:54:24 AM

UPDATE `primaries` SET `winner` = 'Romney' WHERE `state` IN ('Wisconsin','Maryland','District of Columbia'); SELECT (COUNT(`delegates`) > 1144) AS victory FROM `primaries` WHERE `winner` = 'Romney';

indylaw		2012-04-04 09:54:28 AM

Robot society is very different from you humans. For instance, instead of yes, we now say AFFIRMATIVE.

farkityfarker		2012-04-04 09:55:34 AM

bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP?

Biden.

oldfarthenry		2012-04-04 09:55:54 AM

I like Mitt Romney. He has a certain lack of personality & charisma that I find comfortably familiar.
It's like looking into a mirror (and seeing a bland sweater-vest).

Philip Francis Queeg		2012-04-04 09:56:07 AM

Rapmaster2000: quatchi: ManateeGag: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

this is the most likely outcome. The thought is that he will bring the hispanic vote and deliver Florida

Still calling for Rand Paul over Rubio there.

/Called Biden as Obama's veep while people were still calling Hillary inevitable back in early '08 so I like my chances.

I'm calling Rubio, but then I called Mitch Daniels to win the nomination last year so my failure cancels out your success. HA HA!

RAND PAUL!

I honestly believe that Rick Perry has a chance.

It shores up the Evangelical/ Southern/Nutjob base.

He stayed in the race long enough to get some name recognition, but not long enough to have landed too many hits against Romney.

Makes Romney look good by comparison.

Will be willing to spout whatever Derp is required.

birchman		2012-04-04 09:58:03 AM

King Something: after the election they assumed he lost (to the most liberallest liberal who ever liberalled) because he wasn't conservative enough and decided to go harder to the right than Dale Earnhardt

I still have trouble wrapping my head around that logic. My MIL tried telling me the same thing. You need moderates to win the election, if they didn't vote for your moderate candidate before, they aren't going to vote for your batshiat insane far-right candidate now. She said people needed a more clear choice, to which I asked why there wasn't a clear choice in 2008 since Obama is apparently the libbiest socialist communist marxist dictator to ever walk the earth, after that she was lost. What's the logic here? Anyone?

farkityfarker		2012-04-04 09:58:54 AM

randomjsa: Well at least he has more up to date software than Obama, who for some reason still thinks liberal ideas will actually work.

His policies seem to be working better than Bush's did.

King Something		2012-04-04 10:02:50 AM

Sending ninjas to whack a middle-aged hermit and dump his body in the ocean.

birchman		2012-04-04 10:02:55 AM

farkityfarker: randomjsa: Well at least he has more up to date software than Obama, who for some reason still thinks liberal ideas will actually work.

His policies seem to be working better than Bush's did.

Don't waste your time, these are people who still believe in trickle-down economics after 30 years of an ever-increasing wealth gap. They have no standing to lecture anyone on what works.

NeverDrunk23		2012-04-04 10:03:27 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: We get it. He's a robot.

You mean 'rob.'

buck1138		2012-04-04 10:03:47 AM

randomjsa: Well at least he has more up to date software than Obama, who for some reason still thinks liberal ideas will actually work.

I think you need to update your ClamAV with the RomNet virus definition. It apprears that parts of MittOS 2.4 have been compromized with a virus and are now spreading to any GOPnix users that are running the Brainwashed Windows Manager.

qorkfiend		2012-04-04 10:04:24 AM

birchman: farkityfarker: randomjsa: Well at least he has more up to date software than Obama, who for some reason still thinks liberal ideas will actually work.

His policies seem to be working better than Bush's did.

Don't waste your time, these are people who still believe in trickle-down economics after 30 years of an ever-increasing wealth gap. They have no standing to lecture anyone on what works.

To them the increasing wealth gap is a feature, not a bug. From their perspective it's been working perfectly.

Karac		2012-04-04 10:06:12 AM

birchman: King Something: after the election they assumed he lost (to the most liberallest liberal who ever liberalled) because he wasn't conservative enough and decided to go harder to the right than Dale Earnhardt

I still have trouble wrapping my head around that logic. My MIL tried telling me the same thing. You need moderates to win the election, if they didn't vote for your moderate candidate before, they aren't going to vote for your batshiat insane far-right candidate now. She said people needed a more clear choice, to which I asked why there wasn't a clear choice in 2008 since Obama is apparently the libbiest socialist communist marxist dictator to ever walk the earth, after that she was lost. What's the logic here? Anyone?

McCain was a moderate - moderate enough that most republicans couldn't even see a difference between him and Obama being president. Because of this, the vast majority of republicans didn't even bother to vote on election day. If he had been further to the right, they would have voted for him, and since their are so many more right-wingers than there are moderates or democrats, he would have won.

birchman		2012-04-04 10:06:32 AM

qorkfiend: birchman: farkityfarker: randomjsa: Well at least he has more up to date software than Obama, who for some reason still thinks liberal ideas will actually work.

His policies seem to be working better than Bush's did.

Don't waste your time, these are people who still believe in trickle-down economics after 30 years of an ever-increasing wealth gap. They have no standing to lecture anyone on what works.

To them the increasing wealth gap is a feature, not a bug. From their perspective it's been working perfectly.

Sure, from the people at the top who know it's a crock and that it would benefit them, I'm talking about poor shmucks like randomjsa who actually believe it works in their favor. It's one of the greatest scams of our generation.

Zerochance		2012-04-04 10:09:35 AM

Guidette Frankentits: bulldg4life: So, who's gonna be the VP? Marco Rubio?

That's gonna be difficult considering he said no way Jose (new window)

Rubio's ties to the LDS church will be too much to bear for evangelicals already fuming over a full-blown Mormon as the nominee.

yert		2012-04-04 10:11:13 AM

if (position=="flip"){
position="flop"
}/end if

wildcardjack		2012-04-04 10:14:18 AM

Dammit, I was hoping for the other guy.

/I chuckle when I hear Santorum.

xanadian		2012-04-04 10:14:45 AM

Java null pointer exception in class brain.mine.fulloffark

xanadian		2012-04-04 10:17:31 AM

NeverDrunk23: I asked a Romney input about a policy stance and all I got was a blue screen.

Did you jiggle the handle?

Jackson Herring		2012-04-04 10:21:08 AM

10 PRINT "TAX CUTS FOR THE WEALTHY"
20 GOTO 10

bdub77		2012-04-04 10:22:54 AM

You know, people haven't yet asked the real question here. Do we really need a human in office? We live in an age where more computers access the web than people. Where computers are better at chess. Where computers can win trivia contests.

Surely a robot would be a better option than someone who has human emotions, who can't play chess 15 moves ahead, who can't answer obscure questions about movies that came out in 1952.

Healthcare is an obsolete notion. We should be focusing on technology that enables us to become robots, like Mitt. Do robots want healthcare? No. Do robots want to pay taxes? No. Do robots care about women or minorities? Of course not.

We can see how far into the future Republicans are thinking. It's pretty amazing. Mitt is really the ideal choice for the future of the Republican party.

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