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(Den Of Geek)   Is 'the Machete order' the best way to watch the Star Wars movies? And do you think George would approve?   (denofgeek.com) divider line 124
    More: Interesting, Star Wars, Machete order, Attack of the Clones, machetes, Anthony Daniels, Skywalker, Emperor Palpatine, Sith Lord  
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10864 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Apr 2012 at 1:01 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-04 11:51:10 AM
i44.tinypic.com

Back in Tijuana, we sit you in front of the TV, put you in an oil drum. If you don't watch in IV, V, II, III, VI order, we light you on fire.

/Machete Order.
 
2012-04-04 12:25:32 PM
The order I watch it is New Hope, then Empire, then Jedi.
 
2012-04-04 01:03:36 PM

Quasar: The order I watch it is New Hope, THE HOLIDAY SPECIAL, then Empire, then Jedi.


/fxd
 
2012-04-04 01:05:21 PM

Quasar: The order I watch it is New Hope, then Empire, then Jedi.


thats the order i watch as well. my kids agree!
 
Skr
2012-04-04 01:08:15 PM

Vacation Bible School: THE HOLIDAY SPECIAL


That never happened.

I personally can't stand what Lucas did to the series so I just watch these instead

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-04-04 01:08:18 PM
If Machete was actually in Star Wars it would be epic.

Since there are only three films (Hope, Empire, Jedi), I just watch them in order. I hope that once Lucas finally kicks it someone will make films of the first three parts of the series.
 
2012-04-04 01:09:06 PM
I watch them all, 1-6 in that order cause I like them all.

Come at me haters, COME AT ME!!!
 
GOB
2012-04-04 01:09:50 PM
I prefer to watch it in the GOB order: IV, V, VI.
 
2012-04-04 01:10:20 PM
I only watch the even ones, though I make an exception for 3.
 
2012-04-04 01:12:42 PM
I watch them as Spike directs me when they show them over a holiday weekend.

I watch the second half of New Hope from 9-10:30 on Friday night. Then, I watch the entire movie from 10:30 to 12:30. The next night, I watch New Hope and Empire Strikes back from 5 to 11. Then, I watch bits and pieces of Empire Strikes Back from 11 to 1:30. On Sunday night, I watch the last half of Empire from 7 to 8. Then I watch Jedi from 8 to 10.

I assumed this was the accepted viewing schedule.

I do the same thing for the Indiana Jones movies on USA.
 
2012-04-04 01:14:07 PM
I prefer:

New Hope, Phantom Menace, Manos: Hands of Fate, Return of the Jedi, Home Alone 3, Empire, Norbit, Attack of the Clones
 
2012-04-04 01:15:01 PM
What we need is someone to cut them into a Godfather 2 style flashback/present day style set, using Obi-won, Yoda and the Emperor to explain how the got there, then most of the crap could be cut out.
 
2012-04-04 01:16:33 PM

Quasar: The order I watch it is New Hope, then Empire, then Jedi.


Done in two.
 
2012-04-04 01:18:36 PM
It's an interesting thought.

I can almost see how this works, but instead of omitting ep 1, it should be edited into something almost mythical.
Perhaps some tale told on Tatooine about a virgin birth and the incredible things he could do. Then pull the Obi-Wan stuff out and place into a flashback scene with him remembering his mentor and debating if he should train Luke.
The rest? Re-Edit the Jar-Jar stuff to make it that he was foolish even in the context of his race, but was appointed to the senate as a reward for being in the right place at the right time. Or have him play the fool, only till he makes the deciding vote. Then you find that he was Sith himself and was part of the betrayal of the galaxy.
 
2012-04-04 01:23:54 PM

sprawl15: I only watch the even ones, though I make an exception for 3.


3/10.

Too obvious.
 
2012-04-04 01:25:04 PM
I used to have a long-play VHS with the three Star Wars movies followed by Blazing Saddles. Made perfect sense.
 
2012-04-04 01:26:03 PM
"A New Hope?"

If you're really a purist it's just called 'Star Wars.'
 
2012-04-04 01:27:15 PM
FTA:
"It is sometimes assumed that watching in numerical order is the best way, but as we demonstrated last year, watching the prequels before the originals works well, too."

Um...since the prequels are episodes 1-3, isn't watching them first the same as watching in numerical order?
 
2012-04-04 01:29:31 PM
Why should anyone care if George Lucas approves of anything ever?

20, 30 years from now, when that guy finally dies, they will hopefully remake 1/2/3 anyway.
 
2012-04-04 01:30:57 PM
IMO best order:
Star Wars
Empire Strikes Back
Phantom Menace (in FF mode)
Clone wars
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
 
2012-04-04 01:33:55 PM

Tom_Slick: What we need is someone to cut them into a Godfather 2 style flashback/present day style set, using Obi-won, Yoda and the Emperor to explain how the got there, then most of the crap could be cut out.


Yeah, but then you'd be cutting to a scene that directly proves them each to be a liar, right after they say it.

Or you could get something like this (new window)

I may bag on the prequels, but the moment when Vader looks at the Emperor frying Luke, you see him reflecting on having a chance to redo wrong decisions. It does make the redemption even more powerful than the original, rather than Vader just up and tossing the Emperor down the well. Of course, the mask always looked so sad. Amazing how a blank mask can emote. The eyes even seem to soften.

Shorter version (new window)
 
2012-04-04 01:36:03 PM

macadamnut: I used to have a long-play VHS with the three Star Wars movies followed by Blazing Saddles. Made perfect sense.


Makes sense to me (new window)
 
2012-04-04 01:40:50 PM
I watch all of them except Episode II because that movie is the shiattiest turd on the entire turd blossom.
 
2012-04-04 01:41:55 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: If Machete was actually in Star Wars it would be epic.

Since there are only three films (Hope, Empire, Jedi), I just watch them in order. I hope that once Lucas finally kicks it someone will make films of the first three parts of the series.


Topher Grace already did.
 
2012-04-04 01:42:26 PM
I watch them with Rifftrax. That's the best way.
 
2012-04-04 01:43:02 PM
With a little work and a couple of newly filmed scenes you probably could edit 1-3 into a pretty decent 2 1/2 hour movie.
 
2012-04-04 01:44:18 PM
Jesus you farking nerds. It is time to stop thinking about these mediocre movies.
 
2012-04-04 01:45:05 PM
 
2012-04-04 01:50:38 PM
Oh one of these threads again. anyways the article is interesting and makes good points. Thinking of trying it.
 
2012-04-04 01:53:37 PM

taxandspend: I watch all of them except Episode II because that movie is the shiattiest turd on the entire turd blossom.


A featured role for Jake Lloyd, 45 minutes of pod racing and dozens of racist stereotypes would like to have a word about your ranking.
 
2012-04-04 01:55:53 PM
Here's the order I watch in. Empire.

Done.
 
2012-04-04 01:57:07 PM
Why even have this argument? We've all seen all six of the movies. We won't glean anything new from repeated viewings of the prequels. Watching them in a different order does nothing except force us to watch the prequels again.
 
2012-04-04 01:58:53 PM
If it was available to the public, I would watch them in this order: IV, V, Topher Grace's 87 minute cut of the prequels, VI.
 
2012-04-04 01:59:08 PM

PanicMan: How awesome Episode I could have been....


Wow. That was actually...really good.
 
2012-04-04 01:59:13 PM

bdub77: Why should anyone care if George Lucas approves of anything ever?

20, 30 years from now, when that guy finally dies, they will hopefully remake 1/2/3 anyway.


The real problem is he made prequels instead of sequels to begin with. Not only were 1-3 really boring, they were unnecessary and destroyed the mystery of Vader's origins. Just should have made sequels set a few decades after 4-6.
 
2012-04-04 01:59:26 PM
It is sometimes assumed that watching in numerical order is the best way, but as we demonstrated last year, watching the prequels before the originals works well, too.

Who wrote this shiat?

Numerical order IS the prequels before the originals. And yes, I'm pretty sure that I remember as a kid that it always has said "Episode IV: A new Hope". I also remembered seeing Luke watching the battle between the Star Destroyer and Leia's ship through binoculars. I always thought it was a false memory until I heard the radio drams a few years ago, where they described it exactly like that, somewhere I found it confirmed that some prints did have that scene in them.
 
2012-04-04 02:06:00 PM
I heard that if you watch the movies in reverse machete order and squint they sync up perfectly with Darkside of the Moon.
 
2012-04-04 02:06:15 PM

Mike Chewbacca: Why even have this argument? We've all seen all six of the movies. We won't glean anything new from repeated viewings of the prequels. Watching them in a different order does nothing except force us to watch the prequels again.


It is our duty and burden to find the optimal viewing order for future generations
 
2012-04-04 02:11:43 PM

PanicMan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VgICnbC2-_Y

How awesome Episode I could have been....


Wow, that was awesome, and sad.
 
2012-04-04 02:11:46 PM
Finally watched the Blu-rau Jedi with the added NOOOOOOOOooooooos. Not only does it totally detract from the moment, they didn't even do a good job mixing the sound in. It just seems like someone is playing an mp3 from a soundboard. Awful
 
2012-04-04 02:12:00 PM

Mikey1969: It is sometimes assumed that watching in numerical order is the best way, but as we demonstrated last year, watching the prequels before the originals works well, too.

Who wrote this shiat?

Numerical order IS the prequels before the originals. And yes, I'm pretty sure that I remember as a kid that it always has said "Episode IV: A new Hope". I also remembered seeing Luke watching the battle between the Star Destroyer and Leia's ship through binoculars. I always thought it was a false memory until I heard the radio drams a few years ago, where they described it exactly like that, somewhere I found it confirmed that some prints did have that scene in them.


The original crawl may have contained the 'episode IV' part, but I believe the 'A New Hope' tag was added on one of of the re-releases. And it definitely was not a part of the original title. When the movie was released in 1977, it was called 'Star Wars.' That's it.
 
2012-04-04 02:12:18 PM

Fano: Tom_Slick: What we need is someone to cut them into a Godfather 2 style flashback/present day style set, using Obi-won, Yoda and the Emperor to explain how the got there, then most of the crap could be cut out.

Yeah, but then you'd be cutting to a scene that directly proves them each to be a liar, right after they say it.

Or you could get something like this (new window)

I may bag on the prequels, but the moment when Vader looks at the Emperor frying Luke, you see him reflecting on having a chance to redo wrong decisions. It does make the redemption even more powerful than the original, rather than Vader just up and tossing the Emperor down the well. Of course, the mask always looked so sad. Amazing how a blank mask can emote. The eyes even seem to soften.

Shorter version (new window)


This guy is worth listening to. He cleans up the Phantom Menace in a 10 minute video, points out the weak parts, gives us a coherent protagonist, everything. If Lucas wasn't such a set in his ways douche, I would recommend he re-cut the movie this way, it doesn't even really require it to be reshot.

Since Lucas insists on ripping aoart the originals and farking them up on a regular basis, you'd think he could do the same thing to the ones that are actually broken... Taken as a whole, the prequels do a decent job of setting up the originals, but 1 and 2 suck. The only one I actually enjoyed was 3...

This Dude Just Fixed the Phantom Menace (new window)
 
2012-04-04 02:13:52 PM
Who gives a shiat aaannd... who give a shiat?
 
2012-04-04 02:15:20 PM
Am i seriously the ONLY person in the world that wishes at this point that Lucas would go back to hope, Empire and Jedi and remove every single muppet and replace it with a living breathing cgi character?

Because if you watch machete order star wars, you get muppet yoda followed by living breathing walking fighting yoda and then back to muppet yoda.

Not to mention things like Greedo's conversation with Han would be so much cooler if Greedo was not just an unexpressive plastic mask, the cantina scene in it's entirety would be SO much cooler, and things like the rancor fight could look REAL and not like a poorly composited miniature.

guys, say what you will but it is jarring to watch muppets and then go to living breathing creatures and then back to muppets.
 
2012-04-04 02:19:15 PM

frepnog: guys, say what you will but it is jarring to watch muppets and then go to living breathing creatures and then back to muppets.


This is how I used to experience the world in general. I didn't think it was jarring at all, but they still made me take the pills.
 
2012-04-04 02:19:34 PM

Mikey1969: This guy is worth listening to. He cleans up the Phantom Menace in a 10 minute video...


The best way to redo the three prequels is to CG Billy Mays in and admit they are infomercials for Lucas products.
 
2012-04-04 02:21:02 PM

Virtual Pariah: I can almost see how this works, but instead of omitting ep 1, it should be edited into something almost mythical.
Perhaps some tale told on Tatooine about a virgin birth and the incredible things he could do. Then pull the Obi-Wan stuff out and place into a flashback scene with him remembering his mentor and debating if he should train Luke.


The original article handles that. Leave Ep. 1 as a stand-alone kid's movie to watch afterwards, along with the various Clone Wars series & film, the Holiday Special, and Ewok Adventures.
 
2012-04-04 02:23:15 PM
This 'machete order' has some merit... but it can't turn II and III into quality films.
 
2012-04-04 02:29:06 PM

PanicMan: How awesome Episode I could have been....


Thanks for that.

"And Obi-Wan is like, 'dude, I'm standing right here.'"

LOL, among others.
 
2012-04-04 02:35:13 PM
Starwars, Empire, Jedi, Clonewars, Clonewars(Tartakovsky), Sith

/Because Clonewars(Tartakovsky) explains gaping holes in the beginning of Sith and also has that awsome Darth Vader premonition.
 
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