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(The Atlantic)   Life Without Sex: Asexuality Movement says it's ok and you are not alone. Even though you are alone   (theatlantic.com) divider line 259
    More: Strange, Asexuality Movement, sexual intercourses, education network, Early Christian, sex columnist, peer pressures, University of Warwick, online community  
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9371 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2012 at 10:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-04 01:33:20 AM
As an identifying asexual, I personally count it as a blessing more than a curse. I can still find myself attracted to other people, I can find them aesthetically pleasing, but I've never looked at another person and said to myself "I want to have sex with that person." Sure, I'm aware there's a big chunk of life that I'm missing out on, and I've come to accept that (though I've found S&M to be an enjoyable alternative--not for everyone, I know, but it works for me), but there are positives that accompany it as well. I'm generally more content with my life than most of the people around me--while they're scrambling and stressed trying to accumulate cash, power, fancy things, and everything else that we use primarily as a means to seduce the opposite sex (even without thinking about it), I don't find that overwhelming need.

Better yet, when your every waking thought isn't solely focused on sex, you find yourself able to focus on more productive outlets for your energy. I don't think I would have been able to start my own business if I was constantly distracted, or be as successful as I've been.
 
2012-04-04 01:35:41 AM

highwayrun: swingerofbirches: Canton: swingerofbirches: I'm 29 and still haven't figured out my sexual orientation. It's not that there's no sexual drive, there's just so little, I can't figure out what it is. I've never dated, never kissed,...

Kinda messed up? Check..
Late 20's? Check.
Male? ..Check.
In Oregon? Check.

EIP if you want to talk.


I forgot I listed Oregon as where I live. I actually don't live in Oregon. I am one of those paranoid people who sometimes puts out false information in questions like that because I'm paranoid someone will identify me by some of the specific things I say. I used to live in Oregon as a kid, though.

What is EIP?
 
2012-04-04 01:43:30 AM

swingerofbirches: Very, very interesting. I have had severe anxiety my entire life. In high school, around the end of 9th grade, it became hellish. In 10th grade I went on Ativan and Paxil, and to this day I still take those drugs. Had to drop out of college because of the anxiety. At this point, ...


My depression/anxiety has always been more of a slow burn. Definitely there, too low-level to be quickly diagnosed. Which is not ideal. There's a reason I'm trying to finish college at my age. And I am medicated as well. That's not the reason for my lack of any interest in sex, which has been going on since high school, but it probably doesn't help, either. (Small price to pay for functionality.)

Identity issues do make sense. The questions, "Who am I?" and "Who would I be without these issues?" seem to combine to create "Would I still be me if I weren't feeling this way?" At least, I've asked those questions. And I don't have an identity disorder. No more than most people, anyway.

Well, I need sleep. It's late here. But feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk more!
 
2012-04-04 01:45:07 AM

odisae: swingerofbirches: I'm 29 and still haven't figured out my sexual orientation. It's not that there's no sexual drive, there's just so little, I can't figure out what it is. I've never dated, never kissed, none of that. Recently found out I have extremely low testosterone, so am checking into why that is, could be related possibly. I could also be repressed, but I've looked at every type of porn to figure out what gets me going and nothing does. I'm not against being gay either. That's the direction I assumed I was when I was younger, but I'm not even "normal" gay. I would love nothing more than to come out. But it wouldn't be true. I don't believe I'm asexual though, either. There's something there, it's just so quiet and so different for me than it seems to be for most people.

I remember once telling someone that if I had never been told of the idea of sex I don't think it ever would have occurred to me. Maybe everyone's like that, I don't know.

Your hormone levels could be a big culprit, especially if you have had them most of your life. if your levels were low during specific times in youth and puberty then you may have never had certain sections of your brain activated that deal with impulse, drive, desire, the things that usually shape us as we approach adulthood. That in turn could also explain your anxiety to an extent. Although not fitting in during high school is nerve wracking enough, you may have lacked the necessary mechanisms to repress or deal with the stress that was the cultural norm.

I'll be the first to admit that there may be a normal asexual populace in society, but as has been stated already, there are medical conditions that can cause this as well.

No matter what you find out, know that the world is littered with those of us that have atypical or malfunctioning brains. It may be something you have to live with, but you really aren't alone.


I've actually worried about that myself. I've seen an endocrinologist. I'm working now, and it's hard to find time to make an appointment and arrange a ride (I'll add to the laundry list: I don't drive, hehe). But that's something I need to do, figure out the hormone stuff.

I also in my teenage years worried that taking the drugs I was on (Paxil and Ativan) would make me not go through puberty. It was kind of a random thought, but I had a lot of those. I never went through a dramatic transformation physically. I was tall at a young age before starting the drugs. But I never got much facial hair at all, still have almost no body hair, and my voice is now a deep yet unique voice but it never cracked. And my penis is nothing to write home about. I actually think it used to be bigger than it is now! Oh, and in 9th grade I found a cyst on my testicle. I was freaked out at the time and thought I had cancer, but they found out it was a cyst and told me not to worry, but now I start to wonder whether that cyst could block testoerone from the testes. That was something my endocrinologist is testing for, apparently there's a blood test that detects whether your brain is sending out a signal that it's not getting enough testosterone from the testes (or something like that). I've done the test but don't have the results yet.

Anyhow, I appreciate your nice thoughts. I've never felt so welcomed on fark. People usually ridicule people being non-sarcastic/open about things. And people also tend to be turned off by the fact that I write long paragraphs. I almost feel like I should quit while I'm ahead.
 
2012-04-04 01:47:17 AM
I don't think asexuals should get married or serve in the miliary.

Sorry, it's just what I believe.
 
2012-04-04 01:49:03 AM

Ishkur: I don't think asexuals should get married or serve in the miliary.

Sorry, it's just what I believe.


I'm personally completely fine staying out of the military... Who do I see about a sexual exemption?
 
2012-04-04 01:53:32 AM
I identified as asexual for a couple years although I was fapping quite regularly and still found women attractive. I just had massive can't-leave-the-house anxiety issues and also didn't want to deal with the dating pool in Alaska. Doing much better in the greater Portland area without trying particularly hard, even though I'm still largely clueless about it.

Sometimes moving to a place where the dating pool is less psycho helps, even if you miss other things about the place you came from.
 
2012-04-04 02:01:13 AM
I've known two people---both guys---who were asexual. They just had no sex drive whatsoever, and both were perfectly fine with it.

One of these asexual guys even let a gay friend blow him, just to test if he were really gay. Nope, it did nothing for him. The exact same response, in fact, that he said he feels when a girl blows him: nothing. He's not gay. He's not straight. He's just asexual.
 
2012-04-04 02:07:16 AM

Slartibartfaster: LordZorch: Life without sex? Isn't that called "married".....

// married
/gets laid


Ditto.

/also married
//got laid about 15 minutes ago
 
2012-04-04 02:09:37 AM
One of these asexual guys even let a gay friend blow him, just to test if he were really gay.

I'm that weird part of Fark again.
 
2012-04-04 02:11:18 AM

swingerofbirches: odisae: swingerofbirches: I'm 29 and still haven't figured out my sexual orientation. It's not that there's no sexual drive, there's just so little, I can't figure out what it is. I've never dated, never kissed, none of that. Recently found out I have extremely low testosterone, so am checking into why that is, could be related possibly. I could also be repressed, but I've looked at every type of porn to figure out what gets me going and nothing does. I'm not against being gay either. That's the direction I assumed I was when I was younger, but I'm not even "normal" gay. I would love nothing more than to come out. But it wouldn't be true. I don't believe I'm asexual though, either. There's something there, it's just so quiet and so different for me than it seems to be for most people.

I remember once telling someone that if I had never been told of the idea of sex I don't think it ever would have occurred to me. Maybe everyone's like that, I don't know.

Your hormone levels could be a big culprit, especially if you have had them most of your life. if your levels were low during specific times in youth and puberty then you may have never had certain sections of your brain activated that deal with impulse, drive, desire, the things that usually shape us as we approach adulthood. That in turn could also explain your anxiety to an extent. Although not fitting in during high school is nerve wracking enough, you may have lacked the necessary mechanisms to repress or deal with the stress that was the cultural norm.

I'll be the first to admit that there may be a normal asexual populace in society, but as has been stated already, there are medical conditions that can cause this as well.

No matter what you find out, know that the world is littered with those of us that have atypical or malfunctioning brains. It may be something you have to live with, but you really aren't alone.

I've actually worried about that myself. I've seen an endocrinologist. I'm working now, a ...


While I'm no stranger to "Fark Snark", you will find some very compassionate and open minds here if you are sincere.

From what you've written I can say two things with a little more confidence. One, you should really make the time to see your endocrinologist. He/she may be able to help. If that is the problem, here is your next hurdle. Two, knowing will not cancel out or rectify any past life experience. Though it may give you great advantage in understanding it, you will still be "YOU". Only it may be a you that can take a deep breath and finally find a foothold to something grand.

Whatever your outcome, knowing is more comfort than guessing. I wish you the best of luck.
 
2012-04-04 02:12:33 AM
Since we are talking about diagnosis and mental stuff, did anyone here take adderral and notice it took your sex drive up through the roof? When I didn't take it I could go a month without needing to masturbate, as soon as I took it I needed to have sex or masturbate ~3 times a day.
 
2012-04-04 02:17:43 AM

Aamelrons: Since we are talking about diagnosis and mental stuff, did anyone here take adderral and notice it took your sex drive up through the roof? When I didn't take it I could go a month without needing to masturbate, as soon as I took it I needed to have sex or masturbate ~3 times a day.


You should try lovenox. You'll go for hours without an orgasm. Although I think if you combined those two drugs I'm pretty sure you would kill yourself farking.
 
2012-04-04 02:37:05 AM

odisae: Aamelrons: Since we are talking about diagnosis and mental stuff, did anyone here take adderral and notice it took your sex drive up through the roof? When I didn't take it I could go a month without needing to masturbate, as soon as I took it I needed to have sex or masturbate ~3 times a day.

You should try lovenox. You'll go for hours without an orgasm. Although I think if you combined those two drugs I'm pretty sure you would kill yourself farking.


Honestly, I don't need that. The meds also dull the senses, it's gotten bad where I've considered Pornaholics anonymous. I would say that on average I spend at least 18 hours a week. Longest record was 11 hours in one sitting, and it wasn't enjoyable it was a compulsion.
 
2012-04-04 02:38:54 AM
Must be nice. Really, though, the guy probably has a testosterone deficiency. I say that because I also have it and have had no interest in sex for a long time. I'm 24,I should be wanting to bang pretty much everything that walks the street. And the reason I say "nice" is because one of the symptoms of low testosterone is really bad depression. I'd guess he's probably on some AD meds or his body just doesn't manifest the symptom.

/Don't know the specifics about asexuality and the related hormone levels.
//I do know that low testosterone give you horrendous depression you can't get over with anything.
///Wouldn't wish it on the worst man in the world. It literally sucks the life right out of you.
 
2012-04-04 02:43:03 AM

Aamelrons: Since we are talking about diagnosis and mental stuff, did anyone here take adderral and notice it took your sex drive up through the roof? When I didn't take it I could go a month without needing to masturbate, as soon as I took it I needed to have sex or masturbate ~3 times a day.


You sound like you are dopamine deficient. Adderral gives you that leg up you need,and then you get the boost to fulfill your craving.

I wish I could get a script for it since nothing else (even cocaine) gives me energy in the day time.
 
2012-04-04 02:43:16 AM

FizixJunkee: I've known two people---both guys---who were asexual. They just had no sex drive whatsoever, and both were perfectly fine with it.

One of these asexual guys even let a gay friend blow him, just to test if he were really gay. Nope, it did nothing for him. The exact same response, in fact, that he said he feels when a girl blows him: nothing. He's not gay. He's not straight. He's just asexual.


As a scientist, I gotta give props to that guy for designing and conducting a serious experiment.
 
2012-04-04 02:44:38 AM
life without sex wont kill ya, and i can't say it's abnormal, but it sure would suck (or wouldn't suck... whatever)

there is no better feeling than turning that special young lady into a twitching sweaty mass of bliss with nothing but a tongue.

i may be disabled from the solar plexus down, but there's more than one way to please a kitty...
 
2012-04-04 02:50:12 AM

Stibium: dopamine deficient


Honestly man, thank you for telling me that. I googled Dopamine deficient and the symptoms describe me to the T. Now that I have this knowlledge I'm going to look into what I can do to fix it.
 
2012-04-04 02:51:34 AM
The most beautiful girl i know is asexual. I've had a stupid crush on her for years, it sucks. We've talked about it, and she's straightup said it's never going to happen. Logically I know i just need to find someone who can reciprocate... but for whatever goddamn reason she's the only person who gives me heart racing and butterflies. People just want what they can't have, maybe? But then there's this part of me that believes sexuality is fluid, and that maybe, just maybe, if no one has a chance, I have as much chance as anyone should she ever change.

/crazy
/sigh
 
2012-04-04 02:55:18 AM
I spent two years on Paxil and it not only obliterated my sex drive, but completely stopped me from being able to orgasm. Looking back, I don't know how I didn't go mad, and then I remember that I was unable to feel any emotions at all during that time. So, definitely can be medically induced... But, yeah, I do believe some people just don't give a crap about sex, and that's fine. Then there are people who are asexual because even though they enjoy self-pleasure, the effort to have sex with another just doesn't seem worth the result. I have an attractive and pleasant friend who's a virgin at 30, and she has a sex drive, but she doesn't care to engage with another person. She says sex just seems really awkward and messy, and interpersonal interactions with regard to sex are too complicated. Maybe she has anxiety or other issues, but she seems perfectly happy with the way her life is and she's otherwise exactly what you'd expect of a "normal" and well-adjusted person, so power to her.
 
2012-04-04 02:58:05 AM

SpasticSloth: The most beautiful girl i know is asexual. I've had a stupid crush on her for years, it sucks. We've talked about it, and she's straightup said it's never going to happen. Logically I know i just need to find someone who can reciprocate... but for whatever goddamn reason she's the only person who gives me heart racing and butterflies. People just want what they can't have, maybe? But then there's this part of me that believes sexuality is fluid, and that maybe, just maybe, if no one has a chance, I have as much chance as anyone should she ever change.

/crazy
/sigh


Not to shoot you down too hard, but move on. The likelihood is that if she does have some sort of epiphany, it'll be because she meets someone that gives her butterflies. And if she doesn't then you're just hanging around not getting anywhere either way. It's not a recipe for happiness either way.

Life's too short, meet some more people, you'll meet someone you have chemistry with (and who feels it back) sooner or later.
 
2012-04-04 03:02:25 AM

MENSTRUATION: I spent two years on Paxil and it not only obliterated my sex drive, but completely stopped me from being able to orgasm. Looking back, I don't know how I didn't go mad, and then I remember that I was unable to feel any emotions at all during that time. So, definitely can be medically induced... But, yeah, I do believe some people just don't give a crap about sex, and that's fine. Then there are people who are asexual because even though they enjoy self-pleasure, the effort to have sex with another just doesn't seem worth the result. I have an attractive and pleasant friend who's a virgin at 30, and she has a sex drive, but she doesn't care to engage with another person. She says sex just seems really awkward and messy, and interpersonal interactions with regard to sex are too complicated. Maybe she has anxiety or other issues, but she seems perfectly happy with the way her life is and she's otherwise exactly what you'd expect of a "normal" and well-adjusted person, so power to her.


GOOD SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE MESSY!

(i do get how a chemical imbalance can throw the mind/body for a loop)
(tho' cant imagine missing out on the fun just cause it's "messy")
 
2012-04-04 03:04:55 AM

Aamelrons: Stibium: dopamine deficient

Honestly man, thank you for telling me that. I googled Dopamine deficient and the symptoms describe me to the T. Now that I have this knowlledge I'm going to look into what I can do to fix it.


Welcommen. It's been a long slog with me having been on over a dozen different antidepressants to get where I am, and I'm still not where I need to be. I'm currently on a regimen of testosterone shots every month but things downstairs are still not right. (I can brag about size, but it still doesn't perform well.) We tried adderrol at 5mg but it didn't do anything. After another 2 months I get my T levels checked again. I will bet money they are still low since I still feel lousy. T levels and dopamine are, to my knowledge, directly connected. My levels still being short I might can get a script for adderrol for energy unless they up my dosings of steroids.

I didn't get armpit hair until I was 16 and then barely any facial hair. Should have known something was up. Now, I can go a month without shaving before the hair starts to bother me.
 
2012-04-04 03:18:44 AM
Seriously, asexuals have an important place in the scheme of things. Without them, dealers at gamecons/sci-fi cons would go broke. The authors of cute little mystery novels revolving around family pets solving crimes would be reduced to writing porn. Sales of Chinese tea sampler sets would plummet. Those cute knitted scarves with sleeping cats on them you find at craft sales? Yeah, good luck finding those anymore.
 
2012-04-04 03:19:30 AM
It's good to hear adult viewpoints on the internet for a change.
 
2012-04-04 03:25:08 AM
there's a difference between 'lonely' and 'alone'
 
2012-04-04 03:25:08 AM

Stibium: Aamelrons: Stibium: dopamine deficient

Honestly man, thank you for telling me that. I googled Dopamine deficient and the symptoms describe me to the T. Now that I have this knowlledge I'm going to look into what I can do to fix it.

Welcommen. It's been a long slog with me having been on over a dozen different antidepressants to get where I am, and I'm still not where I need to be. I'm currently on a regimen of testosterone shots every month but things downstairs are still not right. (I can brag about size, but it still doesn't perform well.) We tried adderrol at 5mg but it didn't do anything. After another 2 months I get my T levels checked again. I will bet money they are still low since I still feel lousy. T levels and dopamine are, to my knowledge, directly connected. My levels still being short I might can get a script for adderrol for energy unless they up my dosings of steroids.

I didn't get armpit hair until I was 16 and then barely any facial hair. Should have known something was up. Now, I can go a month without shaving before the hair starts to bother me.


Hmm, our problems might be slightly different but I am glad to see your condition is improving. I got my hair at the normal times, equipment works pretty okay. I was able to go the gym and build muscles (until I got lazy and stop going) okay.

Adderral for sure increases my drive and motivation. There have been occasions where my prescription lapses, and the impending crash makes me useful (sleep for 18 hours a day, incapable of doing anything, and usually it requires an outside force to come to my rescue. However, I have been taking adderral since I was six and I am currently at 60mg time release a day.
 
2012-04-04 03:30:13 AM

Stibium: Aamelrons: Since we are talking about diagnosis and mental stuff, did anyone here take adderral and notice it took your sex drive up through the roof? When I didn't take it I could go a month without needing to masturbate, as soon as I took it I needed to have sex or masturbate ~3 times a day.

You sound like you are dopamine deficient. Adderral gives you that leg up you need,and then you get the boost to fulfill your craving.

I wish I could get a script for it since nothing else (even cocaine) gives me energy in the day time.


I suppose amphetamines can do that for you (even the OTC variety). There are all sorts of ways, though, to increase dopamine levels without drugs. A study last year suggested something as trivial as listening to good music would do it. Then there's also exercise (the "runner's high"), eating good food, and sex (as if you needed an excuse). It's just stuff that makes ya feel good, done on a regular basis.

That, and getting enough sleep and a proper diet. Simple personal habits like this can have more of an effect on brain chemistry than many of us understand (not that I understand too much of it myself).
 
2012-04-04 03:40:55 AM

LordZorch: Sounds like these people need to have their hormone levels checked....


Some maybe. Some actually have a sex drive but have literally no sexual attraction to anyone. I didn't experience anything even close to sexual attraction until after high school. And I don't feel anything like that until I have a really developed emotional attraction to someone--before that, the idea of sex with even the hottest guy is as weird to me as the idea of sex with Mother Theresa. Once I *do* have that emotional attraction, I have a very high sex drive, so it isn't hormonal for me, I don't think.

I forget the term for that. Heteroromantic asexual or something like that maybe. Haven't poked around AVEN since my current committed relationship began and it became irrelevant.
 
2012-04-04 03:41:48 AM

Aamelrons: Stibium: Aamelrons: Stibium: dopamine deficient

Honestly man, thank you for telling me that. I googled Dopamine deficient and the symptoms describe me to the T. Now that I have this knowlledge I'm going to look into what I can do to fix it.

Welcommen. It's been a long slog with me having been on over a dozen different antidepressants to get where I am, and I'm still not where I need to be. I'm currently on a regimen of testosterone shots every month but things downstairs are still not right. (I can brag about size, but it still doesn't perform well.) We tried adderrol at 5mg but it didn't do anything. After another 2 months I get my T levels checked again. I will bet money they are still low since I still feel lousy. T levels and dopamine are, to my knowledge, directly connected. My levels still being short I might can get a script for adderrol for energy unless they up my dosings of steroids.

I didn't get armpit hair until I was 16 and then barely any facial hair. Should have known something was up. Now, I can go a month without shaving before the hair starts to bother me.

Hmm, our problems might be slightly different but I am glad to see your condition is improving. I got my hair at the normal times, equipment works pretty okay. I was able to go the gym and build muscles (until I got lazy and stop going) okay.

Adderral for sure increases my drive and motivation. There have been occasions where my prescription lapses, and the impending crash makes me useful (sleep for 18 hours a day, incapable of doing anything, and usually it requires an outside force to come to my rescue. However, I have been taking adderral since I was six and I am currently at 60mg time release a day.


Sounds like what I need. 30mg was enough to keep me up all night and smoking like a chimney. Eat a few antacids and drink a glass of water and the adderol will be almost double it's strength. (Helpful hint.) Although it probably won't work for the time-release unless you grind it up and eat it. Might come in handy, ehh?

As of now, when I wake up in the morning I have no energy an want to go right back to sleep, no matter how much or little I slept through the night. Hopefully I can get a job where I work nights when my energy usually kicks up.
 
2012-04-04 03:43:46 AM
Where does depression end and asexuality begin?
 
2012-04-04 03:44:12 AM

coco ebert: How do you distinguish between asexuality and a very low libido?


Masturbation rate vs. desire to ever have another human involved.

Sex with another person is as unnatural to an asexual as the idea of sex with another man is to a totally heterosexual guy. They may still have a sex drive, just no one their body has any interest in sharing it with.
 
2012-04-04 03:47:45 AM

cyberspacedout: Stibium: Aamelrons: Since we are talking about diagnosis and mental stuff, did anyone here take adderral and notice it took your sex drive up through the roof? When I didn't take it I could go a month without needing to masturbate, as soon as I took it I needed to have sex or masturbate ~3 times a day.

You sound like you are dopamine deficient. Adderral gives you that leg up you need,and then you get the boost to fulfill your craving.

I wish I could get a script for it since nothing else (even cocaine) gives me energy in the day time.

I suppose amphetamines can do that for you (even the OTC variety). There are all sorts of ways, though, to increase dopamine levels without drugs. A study last year suggested something as trivial as listening to good music would do it. Then there's also exercise (the "runner's high"), eating good food, and sex (as if you needed an excuse). It's just stuff that makes ya feel good, done on a regular basis.

That, and getting enough sleep and a proper diet. Simple personal habits like this can have more of an effect on brain chemistry than many of us understand (not that I understand too much of it myself).


It is still limited to what drugs can do. Pressured by my dad I've been on a fairly strict no-sugar diet, fairly close to the paleolithic diet. It worked miracles for him but did nothing for me. Getting going doing something I like helps keep me paced throughout the day but it's near insurmountable getting started.

As for sex, my partner is nearly double my age and is going through one of her phases where she isn't the least bit interested in sex. I've been very much inclined to offer services to mature partners seeking a young guy, but that hasn't really panned out too well. That and just finding a girlfriend my own age. I do know that sex helps out tremendously as an antidepressant, and can't recommend it enough.
 
2012-04-04 04:03:13 AM

military armrest: Earpj: My daughter is 16 and has no interest. Not in boys, not in girls...nothing.

Have you thought about getting her hormones checked? If they do come back normal just try to be their for her, maybe she just a late bloomer or she could be asexual - only time will tell. Just try and be there for her, I can speak from personal experience that the teenage years are very awkward for asexuals (and I assume late bloomers) because everyone else is going crazy for sex and your not.


Eh, personally I was relieved.

Just about everyone in my middle school and high school who was "sex crazy" ended up sobbing in a bathroom over a "break up" or being miserable because "someone jerk (literally these guys were not people I'd be honest friends with) didn't like them."

Sure they'd date occasionally and for a few weeks/months be really happy (yayyy hormones!) and then something would go wrong and they'd be miserable.

I had no interest in that sort of drama. Was happy not to be a late bloomer (or whatever I was).

/ended up marrying my best friend and high school sweet heart. :)
//10yrs this past Christmas.
 
2012-04-04 04:04:10 AM

cuzsis: military armrest: Earpj: My daughter is 16 and has no interest. Not in boys, not in girls...nothing.

Have you thought about getting her hormones checked? If they do come back normal just try to be their for her, maybe she just a late bloomer or she could be asexual - only time will tell. Just try and be there for her, I can speak from personal experience that the teenage years are very awkward for asexuals (and I assume late bloomers) because everyone else is going crazy for sex and your not.

Eh, personally I was relieved.

Just about everyone in my middle school and high school who was "sex crazy" ended up sobbing in a bathroom over a "break up" or being miserable because "someone jerk (literally these guys were not people I'd be honest friends with) didn't like them."

Sure they'd date occasionally and for a few weeks/months be really happy (yayyy hormones!) and then something would go wrong and they'd be miserable.

I had no interest in that sort of drama. Was happy not to be a late bloomer (or whatever I was).

/ended up marrying my best friend and high school sweet heart. :)
//10yrs this past Christmas.


/need to go to bed. ;)
 
2012-04-04 04:06:47 AM
I understand where they're coming from. Women are certainly not worth the effort. It is cheaper and less stressful to just hire a maid and go to a hooker when either is needed.
 
2012-04-04 04:25:05 AM
www.keyframeonline.com

"Yeah, sure. While we're at it, maybe I'm asexual too. Yeah. Sure. Totally."

On a serious note, I'd go on about my own social futility...but I don't disclose personal stuff.
 
2012-04-04 04:33:09 AM

vernonFL: What are their Fark handles?


Sheepishly raises hand.

I'm an apheresis blood donor and I am the safest, cleanest piece of ass in San Francisco.

Catholic priests get more action than I do.

Wait....what?
 
2012-04-04 05:00:07 AM

lohphat: vernonFL: What are their Fark handles?

Sheepishly raises hand.

I'm an apheresis blood donor and I am the safest, cleanest piece of ass in San Francisco.

Catholic priests get more action than I do.

Wait....what?


They get more action than most of us.
 
2012-04-04 05:12:31 AM
First boyfriend I ever had was questionable. We dated for over 6 months before the dirty was did. I was eager from a younger age and had been masturbating for years. He kept putting it off and denying me, but once the seal was broken everything came out.

Sex can sometimes to me come off as hollow but I still love it, the exchange. It can be restrictive and liberating at the same time.

My father has been single and sexless for over 20 years, pray that never happens to me.
 
2012-04-04 05:41:51 AM
So, if they masterbate, is that rape?
 
2012-04-04 05:45:08 AM
Fascinating discussion on this thread. Kudos to all of you.
 
2012-04-04 06:27:40 AM

August11: Earpj: My daughter is 16 and has no interest. Not in boys, not in girls...nothing.

Thanks for heaping that on the shoulders of Fark.


Well, she is a Junior Farkette. She's a dirty Lurker. Has no account, but reads Fark a lot.
She thinks y'all are hilarious.
 
2012-04-04 06:36:05 AM

military armrest: Earpj: My daughter is 16 and has no interest. Not in boys, not in girls...nothing.

Have you thought about getting her hormones checked? If they do come back normal just try to be their for her, maybe she just a late bloomer or she could be asexual - only time will tell. Just try and be there for her, I can speak from personal experience that the teenage years are very awkward for asexuals (and I assume late bloomers) because everyone else is going crazy for sex and your not.


Some of the kids at her school assume that she's a lesbian b/c she doesn't have a boyfriend.
She doesn't think so. She just doesn't care.
Whichever way she goes, if any, I'm her Mom and I just want her to be happy. I'll be there for her. Always.
 
2012-04-04 07:46:25 AM

Alonjar: All I know is, after having my first child a year and a half ago, sex went from "that thing I do for fun" to "that thing that makes babies".

...and now I don't really care much for sex.

/I doubt my wife is happy about the change, but it is what it is


Oh don't worry she'll be fine. By f*cking someone else.
 
2012-04-04 07:51:18 AM
Actually, I worked with a guy many years ago, who shriveled his nards to raisins with steroids. Once he quit the roids, the sexaulity issue never came back. This would be perfect for him!
 
2012-04-04 07:51:35 AM

swingerofbirches: I'm 29 and still haven't figured out my sexual orientation. It's not that there's no sexual drive, there's just so little, I can't figure out what it is. I've never dated, never kissed, none of that.

I remember once telling someone that if I had never been told of the idea of sex I don't think it ever would have occurred to me. Maybe everyone's like that, I don't know.


The only sad part of this story is that you think it's a problem and have wasted time trying to 'cure' yourself.

Hint: Not everybody is the same.
 
2012-04-04 07:54:19 AM

Jim_Callahan: There's nothing wrong with not having sex, particularly, but.... "movement"? Really?


See above story by "swingerofbirches".


/Or maybe he/she's trolling. It's so hard to tell on Fark.
 
2012-04-04 08:00:56 AM
i'm still a virgin at age 32, and i've been accused of being both gay and being asexual and it gets annoying after awhile. i've also had friends gently suggest that maybe i was asexual. i'm not either, i'm totally straight and i am most definitely sexually attracted to women. if i could find a willing partner, i'd have sex with her 20 times a day. sadly i have not found one yet, and the way things are going i never will.

honestly though, i almost wish i was asexual. it would make my life so much easier.
 
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