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(The Consumerist)   Comcast cable box mysteriously orders $1000 worth of adult films. Puzzled woman and live-in boyfriend don't know how to get it off   (consumerist.com) divider line 39
    More: Unlikely, Comcast, slight  
•       •       •

1955 clicks; posted to Business » on 03 Apr 2012 at 12:13 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-03 09:02:25 AM  
[a hotel employee hands Nick Schaffer his bill]
Nick Schaffer: What's this $110?
Hotel Clerk: Those are your in-room movies.
Nick Schaffer: No, I didn't watch any movies.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, let's see... Afro Whores.
Nick Schaffer: Afro Whores?
Hotel Clerk: You watched it... let's see... uh, 11 times.
Nick Schaffer: No, no, no...
Hotel Clerk: Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores, 4 o'clock. Afro Whores, 5:30. It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes and then switched back over to Afro Whores.
Nick Schaffer: I swear I didn't watch it. Okay? I was at a bachelor party. There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. You have to take that off my record.
Hotel Clerk: This is not a record, sir.
Nick Schaffer: It... It's a delete.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, fine. How many times *did* you watch it?
Nick Schaffer: None! I didn't watch it!
Hotel Clerk: Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action featuring two sexy soul sisters... "
Nick Schaffer: [screaming] I don't need to know what it's about! I did not watch it! I didn't.
[hotel clerk raises her eyebrows]

// Rat Race-- truly an underappreciated classic
 
2012-04-03 12:16:44 PM  
Occasionally I like to push "up" on the cable guide and look at the adult film titles. Some of them make me laugh.

But seriously, who pays for porn?
 
2012-04-03 12:18:16 PM  
Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.
 
2012-04-03 12:19:25 PM  

Treygreen13: Occasionally I like to push "up" on the cable guide and look at the adult film titles. Some of them make me laugh.

But seriously, who pays for porn?


The actual descriptions in them are equally funny. I chuckle wondering which blurb writer gets to write things like 'Three big bootied chocolate mamas handle all the rod they can'
 
2012-04-03 12:20:17 PM  
Why can't they just disable PPV on her account and require her to call them if she actually wants to order a movie?
 
2012-04-03 12:22:34 PM  

rudemix: Treygreen13: Occasionally I like to push "up" on the cable guide and look at the adult film titles. Some of them make me laugh.

But seriously, who pays for porn?

The actual descriptions in them are equally funny. I chuckle wondering which blurb writer gets to write things like 'Three big bootied chocolate mamas handle all the rod they can'


I am always a little disappointed when the absolutely hilarious titles have no description. Like:

"Bang My Black Ass Raw, Daddy 27" and the description is just "Adult Film".

Reminds me, though, of the adult video awards list of movies that had won. I pulled it up one day. Some of the titles are a riot. Like "Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman"... or some of the awards like "Best cinematography".

But they had an award for most clever title and it was "The Devil Wears Nada". I chuckled.
 
2012-04-03 12:23:57 PM  

rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.


So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:
 
2012-04-03 12:31:05 PM  
Uh, yeah, hi. This is RST Video calling. Customer number 4352, I'd like to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-farking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My coont Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks with Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave coont", "Men Alone II: The KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", oh, yeah, and, uh, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock".
 
2012-04-03 12:33:24 PM  
Probably a neighbor kid with the same box doing it through a window or something.
 
2012-04-03 12:34:09 PM  
I don't have digital cable. But on Amazon I need to put in a 5 digit PIN for each order, wouldn't Comcast have something similar to prove it was intentional vs. accidental?
 
2012-04-03 12:39:17 PM  

Gig103: I don't have digital cable. But on Amazon I need to put in a 5 digit PIN for each order, wouldn't Comcast have something similar to prove it was intentional vs. accidental?


Didn't feel like reading the article? They set up a PIN for her, they kept coming, so they set her up with another PIN.

"Three new boxes were installed and the customer set up PINs on each of them.

And then she gets the bill for $423.65 worth of new PPV porn"
 
2012-04-03 12:39:48 PM  
when i worked in the call center for the local cable folks, I'd get calls like this all the time. Usually something like "I did not order backdoor babes IX and I asked my husband if he did, he said no. And my 16 year old son would never order this smut either."
So hard not to laugh at these people.

/Strangest call I got was from a 70 yr old woman who was complaining that their playboy channel wasn't working. Reset their equipment and all was good at their house
 
2012-04-03 12:43:40 PM  

Unoriginal_Username: when i worked in the call center for the local cable folks, I'd get calls like this all the time. Usually something like "I did not order backdoor babes IX and I asked my husband if he did, he said no. And my 16 year old son would never order this smut either."
So hard not to laugh at these people.

/Strangest call I got was from a 70 yr old woman who was complaining that their playboy channel wasn't working. Reset their equipment and all was good at their house


I had a buddy who worked at a video store. He said they had a few elderly customers that had trouble leaving their homes, so they'd rent a basket of movies at a time - 10 or 20 movies so they'd only have to go to the store a few times. They had a system set up so that it would draw random movies from their collection and send it their way.

The adult titles would show up on the random list sometimes, and it took them a few deliveries of movies to realize that they were sending "All Anal Lesbian Sluts XXX Adventures" to old ladies in retirement homes. They removed the adult titles, and surprise surprise some 80 year old guy called in to complain that he didn't get any of "them dirty movies" anymore.
 
2012-04-03 12:59:20 PM  
She says it all began late last year when she downgraded her cable package and had to swap out her three old receivers for a trio of new ones.

There's your problem right there. You NEVER downgrade your cable package with Comcast. Ever.
 
2012-04-03 01:12:29 PM  

offmymeds: You NEVER downgrade your cable package with Comcast. Ever.


That's deserving of the "One does not simply" meme.
 
2012-04-03 01:31:07 PM  

Treygreen13: rudemix: Treygreen13: Occasionally I like to push "up" on the cable guide and look at the adult film titles. Some of them make me laugh.

But seriously, who pays for porn?

The actual descriptions in them are equally funny. I chuckle wondering which blurb writer gets to write things like 'Three big bootied chocolate mamas handle all the rod they can'

I am always a little disappointed when the absolutely hilarious titles have no description. Like:

"Bang My Black Ass Raw, Daddy 27" and the description is just "Adult Film".

Reminds me, though, of the adult video awards list of movies that had won. I pulled it up one day. Some of the titles are a riot. Like "Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman"... or some of the awards like "Best cinematography".

But they had an award for most clever title and it was "The Devil Wears Nada". I chuckled.


I worked at a Tower Records back in the day. We had a big selection of video and magazine porn and we all looked forward to Mondays when the shipments would come in with the hilarious new titles. "Big Trouble in Little Vagina", "Booty and the Beast", "Inspector Fa**ot" an on and on. Hilarious.

The best magazines were "Equus Eroticus", "American Grizzley" and "A Bear's Life".

That job paid jack shiat but was fun as hell.
 
2012-04-03 01:33:31 PM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:


So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!
 
2012-04-03 01:37:39 PM  

rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:

So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!


I don't care if he was there every single time a film was ordered. He is not a "live in" boyfriend, as you stated.
 
2012-04-03 01:42:48 PM  

pregerstheHobo: The best magazines were "Equus Eroticus", "American Grizzley" and "A Bear's Life".

That job paid jack shiat but was fun as hell.


I really hope Equus Eroticus is a ponyman magazine and not a "sex with horses" magazine.
 
2012-04-03 01:46:28 PM  

Treygreen13: pregerstheHobo: The best magazines were "Equus Eroticus", "American Grizzley" and "A Bear's Life".

That job paid jack shiat but was fun as hell.

I really hope Equus Eroticus is a ponyman magazine and not a "sex with horses" magazine.


It was some weird British magazine with a bunch naked of fat dudes in mini-carriages being pulled by naked fat chicks with horse tails in their butts. It was so friggin weird.

The Bear mags were hilarious too. Fat, hairy, bearded naked men in pin-up girl poses.
 
2012-04-03 01:53:43 PM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:

So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!

I don't care if he was there every single time a film was ordered. He is not a "live in" boyfriend, as you stated.


That's your sticking point? That's what has you riled up? Can't wait to see you take subby to task for his headline gaffe. Let me rephrase it so you can untie the knot in your labia. Her boyfriend, who does not live in her house, ordered that porn. And again I have to ask, did you come here with anything germane to the story or were you here to out those who didn't RTFA with a fine eye to detail, but whiffed on subby who put it right in the headline?
 
2012-04-03 02:10:25 PM  

rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:

So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!

I don't care if he was there every single time a film was ordered. He is not a "live in" boyfriend, as you stated.

That's your sticking point? That's what has you riled up? Can't wait to see you take subby to task for his headline gaffe. Let me rephrase it so you can untie the knot in your labia. Her boyfriend, who does not live in her house, ordered that porn. And again I have to ask, did you come here with anything germane to the story or were you here to out those who didn't RTFA with a fine eye to detail, but whiffed on subby who put it right in the headline?


You seem awful defensive about your gaffe. Are you, perhaps, subby?

If so, you should probably ask the mods to change that.
 
2012-04-03 02:15:50 PM  
All things being considered, the most obvious explanation is listed right in the article. Somebody with a porn fetish got their cable box programmed with this ladies account number. They're fapping all over the place and she's paying for it. That's the only explanation as nobody was at home when the movies were ordered.
 
2012-04-03 03:16:38 PM  

Jake Havechek: Uh, yeah, hi. This is RST Video calling. Customer number 4352, I'd like to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-farking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My coont Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks with Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave coont", "Men Alone II: The KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", oh, yeah, and, uh, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock".


Where the fark is Happy Scrappy Hero Pup!?!?!?!?!
 
2012-04-03 03:42:30 PM  
Meanwhile, the guy outside her bedroom window with a remote and a box of Kleenex laughs.
 
2012-04-03 03:49:27 PM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:

So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!

I don't care if he was there every single time a film was ordered. He is not a "live in" boyfriend, as you stated.

That's your sticking point? That's what has you riled up? Can't wait to see you take subby to task for his headline gaffe. Let me rephrase it so you can untie the knot in your labia. Her boyfriend, who does not live in her house, ordered that porn. And again I have to ask, did you come here with anything germane to the story or were you here to out those who didn't RTFA with a fine eye to detail, but whiffed on subby who put it right in the headline?

You seem awful defensive about your gaffe. Are you, perhaps, subby?

If so, you should probably ask the mods to change that.


As I am not subby it isn't my place, and also you seem to be the one with the error lodged in your throat like some metaphorical penis. If you cared enough to correct me, then continue your altruistic thread fixing errands and get the headline fixed. But please, at some point in all your douching around in this thread, can you just state what brought you in to this thread initially. Did you have a point? A glib comment? Or just the dying need to be a pedantic ass when possible? If so, great, you are doing a bang up job, but you're missing the biggest point of pedantry available here...subby's initial error.
 
2012-04-03 04:27:47 PM  
Can't you order Comcast PPV from the internet? Doesn't it make sense that someone was using Infinity to watch PPV porn on their computer?

/never ordered PPV anything from the internet, so I'm not sure how it works
 
2012-04-03 06:18:27 PM  
I had a similar thing happen to me. Then it turned out the month I was in italy for a month my roommate had a buddy couch surfing whom thought it was a good idea to watch about 500 buck sin PPV movies & Porn.
 
2012-04-03 06:41:41 PM  

rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:

So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!

I don't care if he was there every single time a film was ordered. He is not a "live in" boyfriend, as you stated.

That's your sticking point? That's what has you riled up? Can't wait to see you take subby to task for his headline gaffe. Let me rephrase it so you can untie the knot in your labia. Her boyfriend, who does not live in her house, ordered that porn. And again I have to ask, did you come here with anything germane to the story or were you here to out those who didn't RTFA with a fine eye to detail, but whiffed on subby who put it right in the headline?

You seem awful defensive about your gaffe. Are you, perhaps, subby?

If so, you should probably ask the mods to change that.

As I am not subby it isn't my place, and also you seem to be the one with the error lodged in your throat like some metaphorical penis. If you cared enough to correct me, then continue your altruistic thread fixing errands and get the headline fixed. But please, at some point in all your douching around in this thread, can you just state what brought you in to this thread initially. Did you have a point? A glib comment? Or just the dying need to be a pedantic ass when possible? If so, great, you are doing a bang up job, but you're missing the biggest point of pedantry available here...subby's initial error.


Maybe he's pointing out the uneducated comments you're making by not RTFA. I mean, you just knew the live-in bf ordered all those movies. It doesn't matter that the article outright states that he didn't live there. Or the fact that some of the movies were ordered when it was proven that neither of them were home:

For example, there were unauthorized charges on Jan. 21 from 12:30 to 9:30 p.m. Cell phone records, datebook records and receipts show that on Jan. 21, [the customer] was at a 1:45 doctor's appointment and her boyfriend was at his job, 45 minutes away, from 9 a.m. until 8:14 p.m.

Maybe he called you the first time for making a comment that was a little stupid. He probably kept calling you out in subsequent posts for being an arse.

But that's just my neutral opinion.
 
2012-04-03 07:30:20 PM  
mislabeled or intermittently malfunctioning location chip or duplicate address number, and someone noticed that when they order PPV porn they do not get a bill result is all day porn party.
 
2012-04-03 07:58:06 PM  

Jake Havechek: Uh, yeah, hi. This is RST Video calling. Customer number 4352, I'd like to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-farking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My coont Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks with Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave coont", "Men Alone II: The KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", oh, yeah, and, uh, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock".


Wow.

/speechless
 
2012-04-03 08:40:07 PM  

mainstreet62: Wow.


IIRC that's a quote from Clerks with only a few inconsequential changes.
 
2012-04-03 09:03:16 PM  

BizarreMan: All things being considered, the most obvious explanation is listed right in the article. Somebody with a porn fetish got their cable box programmed with this ladies account number. They're fapping all over the place and she's paying for it. That's the only explanation as nobody was at home when the movies were ordered.


You are mostly right but I believe that the cable boxes she traded in for the newer ones were never "released" from her account so whoever is using them now is milking it for what its worth. Probably some jackoff who works for Comcast.
 
2012-04-03 11:59:22 PM  
Dunno I sort of want to believe her. I mean, why buy something that's more available free on the internet than water that falls from the sky? But then again, I do know the stupidity of people in general...
 
2012-04-04 12:37:05 AM  

Carth: Why can't they just disable PPV on her account and require her to call them if she actually wants to order a movie?


Cause its comcast, and that sounds suspiciously like customer service, which they do not do.
 
HBK
2012-04-04 01:11:19 AM  

abhorrent1: Probably a neighbor kid with the same box doing it through a window or something.


Two CSBs here.

1) I had a buddy in high school who was dating a girl and put about $300 on her folks' cable bill full of porn videos when they were out of town. He was kind of a shiathead.

2) I worked with a guy who lived in an apartment complex. He came home from work early and found the maintenance man jacking off on his couch watching a hardcore porno. That guy brought his own porn, I guess that was like his smoke break.
 
2012-04-04 01:42:56 AM  
Did she recently hire someone to do her floors and did the job take twice as long as originally estimated?
 
HBK
2012-04-04 04:12:02 AM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Did she recently hire someone to do her floors and did the job take twice as long as originally estimated?


Should've checked AngiesList
 
2012-04-04 11:57:59 AM  

suburbanguy: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: The_Six_Fingered_Man: rudemix: Be interesting to read the follow up story when it is confirmed that live in BF is a porn addled, story teller. Someone should have an intvention and tell this guy that for 1K of bad cable porn you could have bought a good comp, paid for fast service and watched real porn and skipped the looping.

So you would read the follow up, but not the original article?

Since Kabletown wouldn't budge, she turned to Bamboozled and provided evidence that neither she nor her boyfriend - who does not live in the house - were in the house when some of the porn charges were made:

So do you have a point to make on the article you read to the fullest degree, or did you just come here to out those who didn't read such an interesting and thought provoking article like you did?

PS...BF ordered those farking films!

I don't care if he was there every single time a film was ordered. He is not a "live in" boyfriend, as you stated.

That's your sticking point? That's what has you riled up? Can't wait to see you take subby to task for his headline gaffe. Let me rephrase it so you can untie the knot in your labia. Her boyfriend, who does not live in her house, ordered that porn. And again I have to ask, did you come here with anything germane to the story or were you here to out those who didn't RTFA with a fine eye to detail, but whiffed on subby who put it right in the headline?

You seem awful defensive about your gaffe. Are you, perhaps, subby?

If so, you should probably ask the mods to change that.

As I am not subby it isn't my place, and also you seem to be the one with the error lodged in your throat like some metaphorical penis. If you cared enough to correct me, then continue your altruistic thread fixing errands and get the headline fixed. But please, at some point in all your douching around in this thread, can you just state what brought you in to this thread initially. Did yo ...


It's strange but with a day to think about this I see your point. My Weeners should have just been 'yea..you're right. I did not read the article and I did base a glib comment on the headline.' Sometimes it takes a little time and perspective to realize how wrong one can be. I wronged the woman in the article, her boyfriend and most certainly the FiveFingeredMan.
 
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