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(ABC)   As their children move on from play dates to real dates, helicopter moms hover nearby: 'She became so upset that she called the girlfriend a lesbian for ditching her son'   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 76
    More: Stupid, moms, Smith College, Holy Cross, spheres, emotional pain  
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9863 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2012 at 1:57 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-02 01:29:07 PM
These parents are so creepy. Is helicopter just a polite way of saying voyeuristic? Because these moms seem to be living vicariously through their teenagers. Don't they have their own lives to lead?


//Hate the trend of children superseding adult lives.
 
2012-04-02 01:44:13 PM
oh for fark's sake.
 
2012-04-02 01:59:58 PM

Kimothy: These parents are so creepy. Is helicopter just a polite way of saying voyeuristic? Because these moms seem to be living vicariously through their teenagers. Don't they have their own lives to lead?


//Hate the trend of children superseding adult lives.


Of course they don't have their own lives anymore. They had children.
 
2012-04-02 02:01:54 PM

xanadian: oh for fark's sake.

 
2012-04-02 02:02:00 PM
I'm torn. On the one hand, these are the assholes I grew up with doing a shiat job of raising their kids. On the other, I will be depending on these same kids for my retirement.
 
2012-04-02 02:02:28 PM
the-stupid-it-burns.jpg
 
2012-04-02 02:02:48 PM
Creepy.

Could you imagine that as a mother-in-law?
 
2012-04-02 02:03:18 PM
NTTAWWT
 
2012-04-02 02:03:49 PM
I plan on secretly video taping my son's sex life so we can review the video afterwords and I can give him pointers.


/not really
 
2012-04-02 02:04:31 PM

Max Awesome: Creepy.

Could you imagine that as a mother-in-law?


If you married a person even after dating them with her mother like that, then frankly, you get what you deserve.
 
2012-04-02 02:05:34 PM
She needs to be punched in the C.U.iN.Tahiti
 
2012-04-02 02:05:39 PM

taurusowner: Of course they don't have their own lives anymore. They had children.


Win.
 
2012-04-02 02:06:33 PM
Oh Jesus... this is what I have become?

My middle school aged son had a girlfriend - he told us he broke up with her by changing his facebook status. (Internally I laughed) - but I told him if he wants to get another girlfriend that is probably not the way to do things.

He said he did it because he likes someone else, but he never asked a girl out (this previous girlfriend asked him through friends) - anyway, he told me he was going to text the girl, so I started giving him pointers as to not look like a stalker or desperate. In my mind I thought I was teaching him game - I think I may be becoming a helicopter parent (is there a help group)

/csb
//also has to remind him to shower, put on deodorant and comb his hair
///I expect that he is already on fark based on hygiene and lack of skills with women
 
2012-04-02 02:07:22 PM

Kimothy: These parents are so creepy. Is helicopter just a polite way of saying voyeuristic? Because these moms seem to be living vicariously through their teenagers. Don't they have their own lives to lead?


When kids want to have "The Talk" they don't mean "Backseat commentary and analysis"
 
2012-04-02 02:09:33 PM

SecretAgentWoman: I plan on secretly video taping my son's sex life so we can review the video afterwords and I can give him pointers.


/not really


I'd help you create a video teaching your son how to do it.

/how YOU doin'?
 
2012-04-02 02:09:37 PM
The San Diego author describes her obsession with Kate's private love life in a light-hearted article she wrote recently for Salon, "Her Breakup, My Heartbreak."

Oh look, another horribly broken, incredibly neurotic person is an author for Salon. Who would have thought?
 
2012-04-02 02:10:31 PM
I like that she micromanages the kids because "We don't know how to balance much of our lives yet when we are 18." How about you actually let them learn? Making mistakes is so much more effective than someone doing everything for you.
 
2012-04-02 02:11:44 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-02 02:12:35 PM
I'm contemplating the implications of this:

"No, no, no, Joey. You're not doing it right. You're suppose to gently rub her clitoris as you thrust in her. Come here and let me show you. I just cannot tolerate my precious Susie having bad teenaged sex!"
 
2012-04-02 02:12:53 PM
What a broken generation. But thanks for looking at the symptoms of your shiatty parenting and believing them to be some flaw that's somehow inherent in us.
 
2012-04-02 02:13:52 PM

p the boiler: Oh Jesus... this is what I have become?

My middle school aged son had a girlfriend - he told us he broke up with her by changing his facebook status. (Internally I laughed) - but I told him if he wants to get another girlfriend that is probably not the way to do things.

He said he did it because he likes someone else, but he never asked a girl out (this previous girlfriend asked him through friends) - anyway, he told me he was going to text the girl, so I started giving him pointers as to not look like a stalker or desperate. In my mind I thought I was teaching him game - I think I may be becoming a helicopter parent (is there a help group)

/csb
//also has to remind him to shower, put on deodorant and comb his hair
///I expect that he is already on fark based on hygiene and lack of skills with women


Your kid's generation has their facebook and texting patter down, so that mode of communication for dating and breaking up is not going to look stalker-ish or desperate to them. Your suggestions might make him into an unintentional pariah. Keep dating pointers to generalizations and long-term truisms (like minimizing B.O.),
but specific communication modes will have to be created on the fly by him and his "posse".
 
2012-04-02 02:15:28 PM

p the boiler: My middle school aged son had a girlfriend - he told us he broke up with her by changing his facebook status. (Internally I laughed) - but I told him if he wants to get another girlfriend that is probably not the way to do things.

He said he did it because he likes someone else, but he never asked a girl out (this previous girlfriend asked him through friends) - anyway, he told me he was going to text the girl, so I started giving him pointers as to not look like a stalker or desperate. In my mind I thought I was teaching him game - I think I may be becoming a helicopter parent (is there a help group)


If he comes to you to gab about it, offering unsolicited advice is still normal parenting, particularly if you think he's being dumb. It's when you call them out of the blue one day to say you saw things on their partner's cousin's Facebook or are concerned because the itemized phone bill doesn't show their number anymore, that you cross into crazy territory.
 
2012-04-02 02:15:33 PM

p the boiler: He said he did it because he likes someone else, but he never asked a girl out (this previous girlfriend asked him through friends) - anyway, he told me he was going to text the girl, so I started giving him pointers as to not look like a stalker or desperate. In my mind I thought I was teaching him game - I think I may be becoming a helicopter parent (is there a help group)


Pointers are fair game. Now, if you start making him wear a wire and an earpiece...
 
2012-04-02 02:18:03 PM
Also FTFA: "I'm ashamed to admit this, but when my 16-year-old son broke up with his girlfriend, he told me she broke up with him," said Larson. "I agonized and cried about it for a week. I even called her parents and begged them for some sort of explanation."

In a "moment of weakness," she became so upset that she called the girlfriend an epithet suggesting she was a lesbian for ditching her son.

"My son became upset with me, saying, 'How dare you speak that way about anyone,'" she said. "He then told me the real reason they had broken up: He was gay."


Ahahaha, I can't stop laughing. Subby, you should have let us know!
 
2012-04-02 02:20:51 PM
This broad is a well-known attention whore in SD.

/just don't look
 
2012-04-02 02:21:56 PM
"I am a stay-at-home mother. His father is a musician who is away for extended periods of time," she said. "Now, I realize that I used my son as a replacement."

This is horrifying.
 
2012-04-02 02:23:28 PM

foxyshadis: Also FTFA: "I'm ashamed to admit this, but when my 16-year-old son broke up with his girlfriend, he told me she broke up with him," said Larson. "I agonized and cried about it for a week. I even called her parents and begged them for some sort of explanation."

In a "moment of weakness," she became so upset that she called the girlfriend an epithet suggesting she was a lesbian for ditching her son.

"My son became upset with me, saying, 'How dare you speak that way about anyone,'" she said. "He then told me the real reason they had broken up: He was gay."

Ahahaha, I can't stop laughing. Subby, you should have let us know!


Who would have guessed that a boy with a controlling, coddling freak of a mother would grow up to be gay?
 
2012-04-02 02:24:52 PM

JackieRabbit: I'm contemplating the implications of this:

"No, no, no, Joey. You're not doing it right. You're suppose to gently rub her clitoris as you thrust in her. Come here and let me show you. I just cannot tolerate my precious Susie having bad teenaged sex!"


What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go stampeding straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
 
2012-04-02 02:27:47 PM
Newsflash: People my age (46) are mostly dickheads. They use their children to validate themselves instead of just focusing on setting the kid up for success.

To accomplish that, you certainly have to care, engage, communicate and so on. But, you also have to give a kid room to make some of their own decisions, win, screw up, learn from experiences, etc.

A lot of women my age with younger kids (mine's 26 and on his own now) insert themselves into absolutely every aspect of the child's life in order to feel important about themselves. I see those kids and they absolutely farking resent their mothers for it.

A bad recipe, if you ask me.
 
2012-04-02 02:30:38 PM
This is one extreme of what happens when parents don't respect boundaries. The other is the crazy psychically abusive, controlling type.

They are separate people with rights, yes I said it, rights. They have their own set of feelings, thoughts, emotions, desires, wants, needs. They are human beings, separate and distinct from you.

They have an entitlement (yes) to privacy and control of their own social lives, with a high bar for parents interfering in it. There should be a legitimate, well thought out, easily explained and logical reason for interfering in your kids relationships or violating their privacy.

They also need the ability to make mistakes, including but not limited to, breaking up for reasons that seem trivial to you or with partners you really liked. They need the ability to screw things up or they will never learn how not to screw things up.

The only thing I think when I read these kinds of articles is that the parents need TO GET THEIR OWN LIFE, and they need to seriously consider professional help.
 
2012-04-02 02:31:05 PM

DerAppie: I like that she micromanages the kids because "We don't know how to balance much of our lives yet when we are 18." How about you actually let them learn? Making mistakes is so much more effective than someone doing everything for you.


Making mistakes is like being exposed to common bacteria and pollen and such as a kid. You need to do it to build up a tolerance or immunity to the should-not-be-pathogens. If you're all pure and clean, you're going to get one of these days not matter what and when it happens it's going to hurt a lot more. Same thing with not making mistakes as a kid. That's why we don't (usually) charge kids with felony convictions.
 
2012-04-02 02:31:40 PM

GoodyearPimp: I'm torn. On the one hand, these are the assholes I grew up with doing a shiat job of raising their kids. On the other, I will be depending on these same kids for my retirement.


The KIDS seem fine, it's the parents that are farked up. I loved this quote from TFA:

"Coburn offered her daughter consolation so they could weep together over ice cream, Amy Winehouse music and "sappy" romantic comedies. But her daughter would have nothing of it.

"Do you need a hug?" wrote Coburn, 45. "Uh, do you?" replied her daughter.
"

So much win. It's sad that the 14 year old is the one keeping things in perspective here.
 
2012-04-02 02:33:41 PM
Christ when I was that age my mothers only involvement with my 'love life' was finding some condoms I had when she was looking for the car keys. Her response was to never mention it.
 
2012-04-02 02:34:22 PM

namegoeshere: "I am a stay-at-home mother. His father is a musician who is away for extended periods of time," she said. "Now, I realize that I used my son as a replacement."

This is horrifying.



Actually it's really great that she acknowledged it. Most of the time, the parents in these articles think there's nothing wrong and will constantly twist and turn to justify what they're doing.
 
2012-04-02 02:38:38 PM

Mad Scientist: JackieRabbit: I'm contemplating the implications of this:

"No, no, no, Joey. You're not doing it right. You're suppose to gently rub her clitoris as you thrust in her. Come here and let me show you. I just cannot tolerate my precious Susie having bad teenaged sex!"

What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go stampeding straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.


I jumped ahead of preliminaries for the sake of time. We all know that helicopter mom would require at least three nice dinners, a few gifts, romantic talk and, of course, enough foreplay to give a teenaged boy a wicked case of blue balls.
 
2012-04-02 02:41:14 PM
Helicopter parents are pissing me off more and more.

Mostly because they look down their nose at me because I haven't done for my kids everything they have done for their kids, and I must be a horrible parent because of it!

Sorry if I want my kids to have unstructured fun at times and focusing on their education and teaching them how to learn and instilling a love for learning; and not play dates, 4-6 different sports (one for each season), playing 5 different instruments (they will play or sing or some musical art), as well as gymnastics, bowling, and god knows what else.

As well as feeding them only pure 100% organically grown, fertilized with the finest composted bullshiat known to man, fair trade and shipped from some 3rd world banana republic food. Grow a garden with your kids if you're that concerned about what you're feeding them.

Tell me that all this structure and hovering and interfering is helping, when my kids are building catapults and birdhouses and playing in the garden with their friends, and yours are in therapy at 8 years old because you never wanted to cut the umbilical cord.

//End rant.
//And I think need some paracord, or a better catapult design...
 
2012-04-02 02:43:23 PM
Why is it whenever I read/hear about helicopter parents(usually the mother) I always get this image of a shoulder launched missile?
 
2012-04-02 02:47:25 PM

taurusowner: Kimothy: These parents are so creepy. Is helicopter just a polite way of saying voyeuristic? Because these moms seem to be living vicariously through their teenagers. Don't they have their own lives to lead?


//Hate the trend of children superseding adult lives.

Of course they don't have their own lives anymore. They had children.


The best advice I got from my parents about parenting was for parents not to give up their own lives. They said it would lead to selfish children who thought the world revolved around them. I thought it was great advice. I stayed far, far, away from their dating lives, except that I gave them both a serious talk about getting knocked up or knocking someone up (and warned my daughter about the dangers of a controlling boyfriend).

//CSB
 
2012-04-02 02:51:59 PM

Kimothy: The best advice I got from my parents about parenting was for parents not to give up their own lives. They said it would lead to selfish children who thought the world revolved around them. I thought it was great advice. I stayed far, far, away from their dating lives, except that I gave them both a serious talk about getting knocked up or knocking someone up (and warned my daughter about the dangers of a controlling boyfriend).


Ummm that's totally messed up and WRONG if you want to be a loving and responsible Mommy parent. NO real loving and attentive parent would even DREAM about spending even an hour away from their precious snowflakes.

/Sanctimommy- vacation edition (new window)
 
2012-04-02 02:54:30 PM

Kimothy: taurusowner: Kimothy: These parents are so creepy. Is helicopter just a polite way of saying voyeuristic? Because these moms seem to be living vicariously through their teenagers. Don't they have their own lives to lead?


//Hate the trend of children superseding adult lives.

Of course they don't have their own lives anymore. They had children.

The best advice I got from my parents about parenting was for parents not to give up their own lives. They said it would lead to selfish children who thought the world revolved around them. I thought it was great advice. I stayed far, far, away from their dating lives, except that I gave them both a serious talk about getting knocked up or knocking someone up (and warned my daughter about the dangers of a controlling boyfriend).

//CSB


Your children sound normal, well-adjusted, sociable.

That obviously means there's something wrong with them. Or at least that's what my psychologist tells me...
 
2012-04-02 02:54:31 PM
I can see it now, "Thats no way to give my son a hand job, this is how you should do it"
 
2012-04-02 02:56:31 PM

Egoy3k: Christ when I was that age my mothers only involvement with my 'love life' was finding some condoms I had when she was looking for the car keys. Her response was to never mention it.


My parents response to my teenaged sex life: Don't you dare get a girl pregnant! Use protection! A nurse I worked with bought her son a box of condoms for his 16the birthday and told him to let him know when he needed more. She also told him that if he needed more in less that a year, they would have to have a little chat.
 
2012-04-02 03:00:10 PM
It's not unreasonable for a parent to feel disappointment when their child breaks up with someone. When your kid is "in a relationship," their girlfriend or boyfriend (call it "friend" to keep it gender neutral) probably spends a lot of time at your house. If the friend is a good kid and makes your kid happy, of course you're going to become fond of each other. The breakup would be equivalent to a niece or nephew moving away. For the same reason, it's natural to feel protective of the friend. Which is why there's the traditional "I don't know what my kid did to deserve the breakup, but I hope yours is OK" call between parents of puppy-love breakups.

As long as parents teach their kids to be good men and good women, give trust where it's deserved and deserve the trust they're given, it's all good.
 
2012-04-02 03:07:15 PM
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-04-02 03:20:40 PM

pounddawg: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]


That book is evil. EVIL!
 
2012-04-02 03:24:19 PM

meat0918: pounddawg: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]

That book is evil. EVIL!


My wife and I feel the same way.
 
2012-04-02 03:27:21 PM

tillerman35: It's not unreasonable for a parent to feel disappointment when their child breaks up with someone. When your kid is "in a relationship," their girlfriend or boyfriend (call it "friend" to keep it gender neutral) probably spends a lot of time at your house. If the friend is a good kid and makes your kid happy, of course you're going to become fond of each other. The breakup would be equivalent to a niece or nephew moving away. For the same reason, it's natural to feel protective of the friend. Which is why there's the traditional "I don't know what my kid did to deserve the breakup, but I hope yours is OK" call between parents of puppy-love breakups.
As long as parents teach their kids to be good men and good women, give trust where it's deserved and deserve the trust they're given, it's all good.


Never heard of such a thing.

/Not saying it's 'bad'
//but it IS weird
///they broke up, if it's not drama and threat laden, leave it alone
 
2012-04-02 03:29:30 PM
My hell.
 
2012-04-02 03:30:11 PM

p the boiler: I think I may be becoming a helicopter parent (is there a help group)


It's called "Fark." Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
 
2012-04-02 03:31:47 PM

dericwater: DerAppie: I like that she micromanages the kids because "We don't know how to balance much of our lives yet when we are 18." How about you actually let them learn? Making mistakes is so much more effective than someone doing everything for you.

Making mistakes is like being exposed to common bacteria and pollen and such as a kid. You need to do it to build up a tolerance or immunity to the should-not-be-pathogens. If you're all pure and clean, you're going to get one of these days not matter what and when it happens it's going to hurt a lot more. Same thing with not making mistakes as a kid. That's why we don't (usually) charge kids with felony convictions.


I believe that is what i was saying, but far more wordy.
 
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