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(Des Moines Register)   Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer. Police describe the masked suspect as wearing a black-and-white striped shirt, and broad black hat, and muttering, 'Robble, robble'   (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) divider line 31
    More: Strange, parking garage, black hats, Des Moines, Greater Des Moines Softball Park, the city, burglary, shirts  
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1237 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2012 at 5:13 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-02 01:52:56 PM  
msofficer.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-02 04:48:26 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
Stop! Stop! He's already dead...
 
2012-04-02 05:27:37 PM  
Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer.

Seriously? The cops were called for this?

Shouldn't they be out busting people for real crimes?
 
2012-04-02 05:31:34 PM  
i161.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-02 05:32:41 PM  
Last I checked B&E was a real crime. Plus there's blood to clean up. Dude is probably a doper, you want that running around your neighborhood?
 
2012-04-02 05:33:00 PM  

whidbey: Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer.

Seriously? The cops were called for this?

Shouldn't they be out busting people for real crimes?


So you're saying I can break into your home/place of business/vehicle and take whatever I want and you will not call the police?
 
2012-04-02 05:33:09 PM  
considering my submission of crime running rampant in des moines following a drive by paint gun shooting was not greenlit these outrageous iowa crimes by cattle rapers, mother farker killers, and meth freaks will not surprise me. no, sirree!
 
2012-04-02 05:35:49 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-02 05:39:40 PM  
Hopefully the blood will allow them to McID the perp.

;)
 
2012-04-02 05:39:54 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-02 05:41:36 PM  
UPDATE: SUSPECT HAS BEEN APPREHENDED AND IS FACING VIGILANTE JUSTICE
lh3.googleusercontent.com


HAIL TO THE KING, BABY
 
2012-04-02 05:44:42 PM  

urban.derelict: UPDATE: SUSPECT HAS BEEN APPREHENDED AND IS FACING VIGILANTE JUSTICE
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 225x230]

HAIL TO THE KING, BABY


That is wrong on so many levels I am only stunned currently.

This feeling will change...

;(
 
2012-04-02 05:48:05 PM  

Indubitably: urban.derelict: UPDATE: SUSPECT HAS BEEN APPREHENDED AND IS FACING VIGILANTE JUSTICE
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 225x230]

HAIL TO THE KING, BABY

That is wrong on so many levels I am only stunned currently.

This feeling will change...

;(


But you so enjoyed it, like the rest of us...
/aisle seat? No, window for me...
 
2012-04-02 05:51:26 PM  
Sheriff Joe and Steven Seagal are on their way to head up the investigation.
 
2012-04-02 06:03:28 PM  
Gosh, I wonder what happens when your legislature decides to exclude people from public assistance programs for one manufactured excuse or another.

/You mean they don't just lay down in the gutter and wait to starve?
//Surprised it's wasn't in Florida.
 
2012-04-02 06:06:42 PM  

zulius: Indubitably: urban.derelict: UPDATE: SUSPECT HAS BEEN APPREHENDED AND IS FACING VIGILANTE JUSTICE
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 225x230]

HAIL TO THE KING, BABY

That is wrong on so many levels I am only stunned currently.

This feeling will change...

;(

But you so enjoyed it, like the rest of us...
/aisle seat? No, window for me...


Look, it's one of the most powerfully offensive moments in film history, reshooped to this light and frilly story about robble, robble: please forgive me for being stunned by its unnecessariness and violent gratuity.

Oh, and:

*raps forehead through screen*

;)
 
2012-04-02 06:07:22 PM  

6655321: Sheriff Joe and Steven Seagal are on their way to head up the investigation.


No, but you are, no?

Heh.

;)
 
2012-04-02 06:07:59 PM  

whidbey: Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer.

Seriously? The cops were called for this?

Shouldn't they be out busting people for real crimes?


When I start breaking into buildings, then, I'll only steal food products and other non-essential items. What's the threshold for "real crimes" in your book? Is it the dollar amount, or the damage I do breaking in or taking the objects? Whether it's a private or public building? Can I break into a museum if I only rob from the cafeteria? A library if I only take the chairs? Howabout a motel? What if I don't take anything, but just stay a few days?

I mean, I appreciate your sentiment, but burglary and theft are always crimes, my dear.
 
2012-04-02 06:12:06 PM  
i.imgur.com

Unavailable for comment
 
2012-04-02 06:25:22 PM  
EPIC HAMBURGLAR WIN (new window)
(gif too big to post)
 
2012-04-02 06:34:10 PM  

dekkon: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

Unavailable for comment


Hey, you know what?

I'm not fond of being come on by your whatever it's supposed to *inrepresent*, so please take him and his jazz out of my face, plz. Thank you.

Or,

;)
 
2012-04-02 07:13:55 PM  

redhook: whidbey: Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer.

Seriously? The cops were called for this?

Shouldn't they be out busting people for real crimes?

So you're saying I can break into your home/place of business/vehicle and take whatever I want and you will not call the police?


If all that was stolen was a pack of hamburger patties, they should be looking at the possibility that it was an inside job. Seems like a waste of public services to drag the cops out for something that's probably under 50 dollars.

And we are talking about a PUBLIC place that should have had some sort of security, not my house or my vehicle.

Try to stay focused.
 
2012-04-02 07:14:09 PM  
It was Ron Mutherfarking Swanson
 
2012-04-02 07:15:50 PM  

Gyrfalcon: What's the threshold for "real crimes" in your book?


I'm pretty sure I'd let some missing ground beef slide.
 
2012-04-02 07:16:37 PM  

whidbey: Gyrfalcon: What's the threshold for "real crimes" in your book?

I'm pretty sure I'd let some missing ground beef slide.


Can I take a couple packages of buns and some condiments too?
 
2012-04-02 07:23:50 PM  

Gyrfalcon: whidbey: Gyrfalcon: What's the threshold for "real crimes" in your book?

I'm pretty sure I'd let some missing ground beef slide.

Can I take a couple packages of buns and some condiments too?


Well you'd probably be caught by building security, so no. Go ahead if you really need a thrill that bad.
 
2012-04-02 07:57:42 PM  
what's a barbecue fork?
 
2012-04-02 09:06:01 PM  
I spoke too soon. CRIME IN THE STREETS
 
2012-04-03 12:24:48 AM  

Indubitably: zulius: Indubitably: urban.derelict: UPDATE: SUSPECT HAS BEEN APPREHENDED AND IS FACING VIGILANTE JUSTICE
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 225x230]

HAIL TO THE KING, BABY

That is wrong on so many levels I am only stunned currently.

This feeling will change...

;(

But you so enjoyed it, like the rest of us...
/aisle seat? No, window for me...

Look, it's one of the most powerfully offensive moments in film history, reshooped to this light and frilly story about robble, robble: please forgive me for being stunned by its unnecessariness and violent gratuity.

Oh, and:

*raps forehead through screen*


it's a movie. They didn't really kick a dude's jaw down on a curb...

/maybe they did, I don't know, but I think there are laws against snuff films now

whidbey: Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer.

Seriously? The cops were called for this?

Shouldn't they be out busting people for real crimes?


they have to file a crime report, so statistics can be tallied. (College? the school paper would publish crime stats on some back page: 'thefts, break-ins, assaults,' etc along with approximate locations on a map of the campus and surrounding city

/it was probably an employee
//who needed food

what's a barbeque fork?

picardasciifacepalm.gif

Foot long metal rod with a two TINES on the end, remarkably similar to a table FORK
 
2012-04-03 01:05:34 AM  
What the hell was wrong with the Hamburglar? Does he have some kind of speech impediment or is he Hungarian? Is he retarded? Why does he make those weird noises?
 
2012-04-03 01:21:37 AM  

ambercricket: Why does he make those weird noises?


It's all that HFCS they put in the "beef." I'm surprised no one's used it as the new Twinkie Defense.
 
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