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(The New York Times)   A quantum theory of Romney: By asking Romney how he feels about an issue, you unavoidably affect how he feels about it   (nytimes.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Mitt Romney, Eric Fehrnstrom, Newtonian  
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3346 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Apr 2012 at 3:50 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-02 02:05:20 AM  
This is brilliant.
 
2012-04-02 02:47:28 AM  
Wow. That was a really brilliant article.

My favorite part:

What does all this bode for the general election? By this point it won't surprise you to learn the answer is, "We don't know." Because according to the latest theories, the "Mitt Romney" who seems poised to be the Republican nominee is but one of countless Mitt Romneys, each occupying his own cosmos, each supporting a different platform, each being compared to a different beloved children's toy but all of them equally real, all of them equally valid and all of them running for president at the same time, in their own alternative Romnealities, somewhere in the vast Romniverse.

And all of them losing to Barack Obama.
 
2012-04-02 03:54:41 AM  
So full of WIN.
 
2012-04-02 03:54:53 AM  
Explains a lot.
 
2012-04-02 03:58:13 AM  
So, voters are stupid? He could win you know. Half of the Americans that vote have the attention span of a gnat, the other half are one issue voters. The ones that don't vote just want to buy their head in the sand. I am wondering if it wouldn't be better if the law required you to vote like Australia does.
 
2012-04-02 04:00:22 AM  
Figure 2 is farking genius.
 
2012-04-02 04:02:23 AM  
"A Feynman diagram of an encounter between a Romney and an anti-Romney. The resulting collision annihilates both, leaving behind a single electron and a $20 bill."
 
2012-04-02 04:04:33 AM  

novalord2: "A Feynman diagram of an encounter between a Romney and an anti-Romney. The resulting collision annihilates both, leaving behind a single electron and a $20 bill."


I think it would be a larger denomination than that. We'll need to have a real world test to find out.
 
2012-04-02 04:26:48 AM  
I think it would create an electron and cost everyone of us $20... at least.
 
2012-04-02 04:31:57 AM  
Well, since the outcome of any decision between two choices will result in the selection of one of them, the odds of any particular choice being selected is 1 in 2 or exactly 50%.

So vote Republican.
 
2012-04-02 04:45:21 AM  
Can someone ask him if the angel Moroni's golden tablets are something that should be given some serious congressional weight and thought?

I think they should be given some consideration as long as that guy I'm making eye contact with and a thumbs up thinks we should do.

/the lady in the back row? What do you think?
 
2012-04-02 04:45:47 AM  
Truly the most lucid explanation of classical and quantum politics ever written (and also probably the funniest).

/ Pulitzer prize for editorial writing?
// Probably not since some of the grammar was a bit fractured
/// Still an awesome article
 
2012-04-02 04:49:39 AM  
I think the GOP is banking on RON PAUL GARY JOHNSON 2012 fracturing the 'libs' and indies/dems and f*cking 2012, cats & dogs, sleeping together...

/GARY JOHNSON 2012
//weed can save the planet! !! goddamnit!
 
2012-04-02 04:54:41 AM  
Schrodinger's politician: you don't know his real opinion on the issues until you open the box.
 
2012-04-02 05:05:46 AM  
I just want everyone to remember how puppet fartbomber laughed off the top 8 questions at we the people dot stfu
 
2012-04-02 05:06:14 AM  
saw this article a couple days ago and wondered if it would pop up. Wasn't this a meme on fark for like the past two weeks or so? I recall some graphics about it well before this article came out. Wouldn't surprise me if NYT reporters were trolling fark for good memes...
 
2012-04-02 05:08:51 AM  
FTFA: For we have entered the age of quantum politics; and Mitt Romney is the first quantum politician.

No, John Kerry was exactly the same. I was in Boston leading up to that election, and someone asked me how I felt about him. My response was that I wasn't sure where he stood on the issues. Her response was, "He's our Senator, and I'm not sure either."

My dad was exactly the opposite kind of person. You may not have agreed with him, and I frequently didn't, but you always knew his opinion on a topic. He didn't tell you what you wanted to hear; he told you what he wanted to say.
 
2012-04-02 05:10:58 AM  

urban.derelict: I think the GOP is banking on RON PAUL GARY JOHNSON 2012 fracturing the 'libs' and indies/dems and f*cking 2012, cats & dogs, sleeping together...

/GARY JOHNSON 2012
//weed can save the planet! !! goddamnit!


Don't I wish. He was about the only Republican possibility that I would've considered voting for. Too bad his campaign was stillborn.
 
2012-04-02 05:13:43 AM  
And this is why Santorum should be the nom! That man has conviction, passion, you know when he says something he believes it! Even when it makes not one iota of sense... Porn? Seriously, Rick? PORN? Well, alright, if you want to attack a multi-billion dollar industry in which 80% of the population enjoys in some fashion or another...

...

But yeah conviction!

Seriously, how is Mitt even still standing, let alone being the front runner? Hasn't this whole flip flop policy of the week, whatever you said is right kind of shiat been his M.O since the LAST Republican election? Aren't Republicans all about values, and tradition, and distinct moral principals that are sorta kinda vaguely from the 50's but really aren't?

I mean I get most Repubs don't want him, I know the anyone but Mitt thing. But he's there, at the top, ready to lose to Obama... It's so bizarre seeing the vacuous quasi-man being legit the only reasonable choice.

And by bizarre I mean hilarious.

/No seriously, I want Santorum to win.
//I want a Santorum Obama debate... it will be epic.
 
2012-04-02 05:14:44 AM  

Durendal: urban.derelict: I think the GOP is banking on RON PAUL GARY JOHNSON 2012 fracturing the 'libs' and indies/dems and f*cking 2012, cats & dogs, sleeping together...

/GARY JOHNSON 2012
//weed can save the planet! !! goddamnit!

Don't I wish. He was about the only Republican possibility that I would've considered voting for. Too bad his campaign was stillborn.


you were a stillborn baby, mother didn't want you but you were still born....

ox...ox...o..o..ox..ox...ox
 
2012-04-02 05:16:16 AM  
This is quite possibly the greatest article ever.
 
2012-04-02 05:16:22 AM  
Feels is a good word to use with Romney. Thinks isn't.
 
2012-04-02 05:53:10 AM  
And it's much more boring corollary: If you ask Biden about any isue, he will include a story about either his alive or dead cats that drone on and on for eternity.
 
2012-04-02 06:06:22 AM  

I recall first seeing the Quantum Romney meme here on Fark, and I think someone shopped and posted some related images but I can't find them.

From a minor effort at tracking things down I find:

27 Nov 2011 Mitt Romney: "I'm not trying to put money in people's pockets." At least he's honest

Snarfangel

Djkb
: This statement conflicts with the position he previously held which, if I remember correctly was: "I'm trying to put money into people's pockets."

Romney is the only candidate who can observe Schrodinger's cat without collapsing the wave function.

29 Nov 2011 Newt Gingrich likes to write off his previous support of an individual mandate as an indiscretion from the 90s. But he supported the idea as lately as 2008, the same year Democrats started talking about implementing it
hubiestubert

Newt isn't quite in the same league as Romney. Schrodinger's Candidate exists in BOTH positions, equally, until called upon to answer a question.
 
2012-04-02 06:44:40 AM  
To be honest, even people like Mr. Fehrnstrom who are experts in Mitt Romney's reality, or "Romneality," seem bewildered by its implications; and any person who tells you he or she truly "understands" Mitt Romney is either lying or a corporation.

And surprising no one, it took April Fools for the NYT to find any courage to publish the most accurate summation of the entity known to man as "Mitt Romney" - under the guise of satire, of course.

This looks like something Stephen Colbert would've written, which is the highest honor I can give any living satirist today not named Stephen Colbert.
 
2012-04-02 06:56:58 AM  
FEHRNSTROM!
 
2012-04-02 07:05:57 AM  

1.bp.blogspot.com

 
2012-04-02 07:19:23 AM  
Hey Republicans--why the hell aren't you picking Santorum over this guy?

Santorum will fight for conservative values. Santorum will fight Obamacare. Santorum will fight for Christianity in the War on ReligionTM. You don't think America will go for that in the general election? You don't think America is just dying for a real conservative after four years of socialism?

Why compromise? Why settle? You can have your cake and eat it too. What are pussies you afraid of?
 
2012-04-02 07:25:40 AM  

HairBolus: I recall first seeing the Quantum Romney meme here on Fark, and I think someone shopped and posted some related images but I can't find them.

From a minor effort at tracking things down I find:

27 Nov 2011 Mitt Romney: "I'm not trying to put money in people's pockets." At least he's honest Snarfangel

Djkb: This statement conflicts with the position he previously held which, if I remember correctly was: "I'm trying to put money into people's pockets."

Romney is the only candidate who can observe Schrodinger's cat without collapsing the wave function.
29 Nov 2011 Newt Gingrich likes to write off his previous support of an individual mandate as an indiscretion from the 90s. But he supported the idea as lately as 2008, the same year Democrats started talking about implementing it hubiestubert

Newt isn't quite in the same league as Romney. Schrodinger's Candidate exists in BOTH positions, equally, until called upon to answer a question.


I think Hubie coined the term first.
 
2012-04-02 07:35:43 AM  
To be fair, I've been pimping Schrodinger's Candidate for a while now.

My apologies for whoever Shooped this up--because I forgot who did it, but damnation I do lurve it so...

lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-04-02 07:48:01 AM  
www.whataboutclients.com

Has Romney articulated his positions beyond, "I'm not a black guy with a foreign sounding name", "Ttax cuts for people who don't need them and tax increases for people who can't afford them", and "I'm not concerned about the very poor"?
 
2012-04-02 07:48:24 AM  
www.sdakotabirds.com
 
2012-04-02 08:01:18 AM  

keylock71: [www.whataboutclients.com image 338x450]

Has Romney articulated his positions beyond, "I'm not a black guy with a foreign sounding name", "Ttax cuts for people who don't need them and tax increases for people who can't afford them", and "I'm not concerned about the very poor"?


Here's a contradiction. If you take the last quote in context it's because the very poor have safety nets and he would make sure those safety nets are left alone. However, he has come out in favor or Ryan's budget, a budget which would cut those very nets. I wonder how many people on Medicare will vote for Romney? Do they understand what he might do to Medicare? Probably not. The press seems more concerned with Seamus than actual stands by the candidates.
 
2012-04-02 08:01:56 AM  
this guy's late to the party - schroedinger's candidate has been all over fark for months!
 
2012-04-02 08:05:05 AM  

FlashHarry: this guy's late to the party - schroedinger's candidate has been all over fark for months!


Oh it's nice enough for him to swipe it. Merely means that we have Farkers in their bullpen...
 
2012-04-02 08:09:35 AM  
But does the anti-Romney in the anti-Universe also change their opinion when the primary Romney does?
 
2012-04-02 08:30:38 AM  

Yankees Team Gynecologist: Hey Republicans--why the hell aren't you picking Santorum over this guy?

Santorum will fight for conservative values. Santorum will fight Obamacare. Santorum will fight for Christianity in the War on ReligionTM. You don't think America will go for that in the general election? You don't think America is just dying for a real conservative after four years of socialism?

Why compromise? Why settle? You can have your cake and eat it too. What are pussies you afraid of?


Had lunch the day before the Ohio primary with two Santorum-supporting Republicans, and it really is as simple as they love the guy, and will wax poetic about how genuine and god-fearing he is at length, but when I asked the simple question, "do you think he can be Obama?," they look embarrassed and had to admit, that, nope, Santorum would lose. They know that their Conservative, religio-political views are abhorred by the majority of Americans, and that was very satisfying to me.
 
2012-04-02 08:32:55 AM  

hubiestubert: To be fair, I've been pimping Schrodinger's Candidate for a while now.


According to my googling you started using the phrase "Schrodinger's Candidate" on 29 Nov 2011 and have been pimping it here since. In looking for other uses of that phrase google gives:

Apr 1, 1990-Dec 1, 2011 - 10 results of which only your post identifies the phrase with Romney.

Dec 1, 2011-Apr 4, 2012 - 16 results of mainly you posting to Fark.

But of course Google has its own indeterminacy problem because a not-time restricted search for "Schrodinger's Candidate" gives About 358 results.
 
2012-04-02 08:35:47 AM  

hubiestubert: My apologies for whoever Shooped this up--because I forgot who did it, but damnation I do lurve it so...


That shoop makes him look kind of like The Illusive Man. Except the Illusive Man was intelligent and clever. :-/
 
2012-04-02 08:36:02 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: I am wondering if it wouldn't be better if the law required you to vote like Australia does.


Such a law would never make it to the floor for a vote. The Republicans would make certain of it.
 
2012-04-02 08:38:32 AM  
So at the end of the hall, you find two doors, and one Romney guarding each door, behind one door is escape, and behind the other is death. One Romney always lies, and the other Romney always tells the truth. You can only ask one Romney one question.
 
2012-04-02 08:39:00 AM  

AMonkey'sUncle: keylock71: [www.whataboutclients.com image 338x450]

Has Romney articulated his positions beyond, "I'm not a black guy with a foreign sounding name", "Ttax cuts for people who don't need them and tax increases for people who can't afford them", and "I'm not concerned about the very poor"?

Here's a contradiction. If you take the last quote in context it's because the very poor have safety nets and he would make sure those safety nets are left alone. However, he has come out in favor or Ryan's budget, a budget which would cut those very nets. I wonder how many people on Medicare will vote for Romney? Do they understand what he might do to Medicare? Probably not. The press seems more concerned with Seamus than actual stands by the candidates.


But I thought making drastic changes to Medicare, thus ending it as Americans currently know it, was the "lie of the year"!
 
2012-04-02 08:39:57 AM  
Remember that an anti-Romney is equivalent to a Romney from the future traveling backwards in time.
 
2012-04-02 08:41:17 AM  
resource.mmgn.com

BTW, and I'm just guessing here, but I think the Feynman diagram is supposed to show Romney interacting with $20, resulting in an anti-Romney and an electron, suggesting that Romneys views can be bought.
 
2012-04-02 08:45:02 AM  

HairBolus: hubiestubert: To be fair, I've been pimping Schrodinger's Candidate for a while now.

According to my googling you started using the phrase "Schrodinger's Candidate" on 29 Nov 2011 and have been pimping it here since. In looking for other uses of that phrase google gives:

Apr 1, 1990-Dec 1, 2011 - 10 results of which only your post identifies the phrase with Romney.

Dec 1, 2011-Apr 4, 2012 - 16 results of mainly you posting to Fark.

But of course Google has its own indeterminacy problem because a not-time restricted search for "Schrodinger's Candidate" gives About 358 results.


To be fair, I resurrected Schrodinger's Candidate from Romney's bid for the nomination in 2008, which fell out of favor to the McCain/Palin Windock. Romney has always maintained the ability to straddle opinions, while McCain at least acknowledged he had shifted.

Then again, I have despised Mitt and his spending of other folks' money since the late 80s when he was still involved with the UMaine system and before he headed to Utah and the Olympics...
 
2012-04-02 08:50:20 AM  
My favorite line of the article:

"Thus, for instance, there is at any given moment a nonzero chance that Mitt Romney supports child slavery."
 
2012-04-02 09:04:25 AM  

hubiestubert: To be fair, I've been pimping Schrodinger's Candidate for a while now.


According to my googling you started using the phrase "Schrodinger's Candidate" on 29 Nov 2011 and have been pimping it here since. In looking for other uses of that phrase google gives:

Apr 1, 1990-Dec 1, 2011 - 10 results of which only your post identifies the phrase with Romney.

Dec 1, 2011-Apr 4, 2012 - 16 results of mainly you posting to Fark.

But of course Google has its own indeterminacy problem because a not-time restricted search for "Schrodinger's Candidate" gives About 358 results.

--------------------------
UPDATE - Farking Google.

If you take the "'s" out of the "exact phrase" "Schrodinger's Candidate" and instead search for the exact phrase "Schrodinger Candidate", google returns hits both containing the possessive and an umlaut.

Apr 1, 1990-Dec 1, 2011 - About 2,380 results

Dec 1, 2011-Apr 4, 2012 - About 1,410 results.

No time range - About 3,420 results.
 
2012-04-02 09:06:55 AM  
The question and Mitt Romney's answer cannot exist in the same reality at the same time.
 
2012-04-02 09:14:01 AM  

themindiswatching: Schrodinger's politician: you don't know his real opinion on the issues until you open the box.


But you do know that you want to stick him in a box with a radioactive element.

Jake Havechek: But does the anti-Romney in the anti-Universe also change their opinion when the primary Romney does?


Is that how quantum entanglement works?
 
2012-04-02 09:21:27 AM  
graphics8.nytimes.com

This is just terrific.
 
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