Was alcohol a factor?

He heard something about a "tip" and became horribly confused.

I would have gone full retard, and gone with:

D) pissed myself dry while blubbering uncontrollably about how that woman is the love of my life, while they kicked my sorry ass out into the street.....but that's just me, because I'm totally a romantic

"...he and a woman were allegedly caught engaging in a sex act in a designated smoking room."



SMOKIN'!

It's too bad. She was going to be his regular Saturday night thing.

Shocked? I'm not. We had to kick out a moran who was a regular who thought it would be okay to eat his date in the middle of the bar. Said moran said it would be okay if he took his girl downstairs and farked her in the office because he told us the manager would be okay with that... go ahead and call him. It's okay. Uh, no. It's not. He cost us 6 customers who were spending and tipping. When he was in last week he called me an asshole and a dick and told me nobody likes me while he stumbled backwards into a table in front of the manager. I thanked him. He was cut off and sent on his way.

/non-tipping piece of shiat.

Pfft, this guy's an amateur.
He needs to go full on West Coast, lawyer up and blame the bartender for overserving him. This will divert attention from his own behavior and put the bartender and the bar in a position of liability.
I gotta tell you people everything?

He probably got the idea to fark in the bar after he saw Rick Pitino in Final Four on Saturday night...

An amusing tag? Really?

he and a woman were allegedly caught engaging in a sex act in a designated smoking room.

It's for smoking cigarettes, not smoking pole. Crazy kids. Can't they find a bathroom stall, car backseat, under a stairwell, or a secluded park to do it in like everyone else?

Seeing that the answer was (C), I had to check and be sure it wasn't West Virginia.
It wasn't, thankfully. They go more for ears and noses here anyway....

Tat'dGreaser: SurfaceTension: I'm wondering if they took the woman out too, or left her there to have their way with her too.

Yes the logical conclusion to this is gang rape.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Protip: A little romantic gesture...



...makes the bar sex more fun for her!

BurnShrike: he and a woman were allegedly caught engaging in a sex act in a designated smoking room.

It's for smoking cigarettes, not smoking pole. Crazy kids. Can't they find a bathroom stall, car backseat, under a stairwell, or a secluded park to do it in like everyone else?

Disagrees with you. Who says you can't have the best of both at the same time.

Ed Becker: Shocked? I'm not. We had to kick out a moran who was a regular who thought it would be okay to eat his date in the middle of the bar. Said moran said it would be okay if he took his girl downstairs and farked her in the office because he told us the manager would be okay with that... go ahead and call him. It's okay. Uh, no. It's not. He cost us 6 customers who were spending and tipping. When he was in last week he called me an asshole and a dick and told me nobody likes me while he stumbled backwards into a table in front of the manager. I thanked him. He was cut off and sent on his way.

/non-tipping piece of shiat.

Wow, you guys are tolerant. You know, you could just ban him for good. Plus, it is illegal to knowingly serve intoxicated people. If he is a regular, you guys should know when to cut him off. I own a bar. While no one has actually had sex in there, we've had to tell people this isn't a brothel and either stop or get out.

Yeah just have teh common courtesy to fark in a bathroom stall or have her go down under a table sheesh people!

Ed Becker: Shocked? I'm not. We had to kick out a moran who was a regular who thought it would be okay to eat his date in the middle of the bar. Said moran said it would be okay if he took his girl downstairs and farked her in the office because he told us the manager would be okay with that... go ahead and call him. It's okay. Uh, no. It's not. He cost us 6 customers who were spending and tipping. When he was in last week he called me an asshole and a dick and told me nobody likes me while he stumbled backwards into a table in front of the manager. I thanked him. He was cut off and sent on his way.

/non-tipping piece of shiat.

Don't you have burly door guys to beat the crap out of guys like this in the parking lot so the lesson sinks in?

Ed Becker: We had to kick out a moran who was a regular who thought it would be okay to eat his date in the middle of the bar.

I think I found a picture of you stopping him...

"Amusing" subtard? Let's whack of a piece of your anatomy and see how farking funny you find it.

Roadhouse!

CheatCommando: "Amusing" subtard? Let's whack of a piece of your anatomy and see how farking funny you find it.

The amusing part is watching someone getting kicked out of the bar for trying to have sex in public. The whole biting a finger off thing is remarkably less so.

I would do the same thing if someone tried to put a fork in my porkin'.

What about the woman? Why wasn't she being kicked out? Or were all the rest of the male patrons taking their turn with her?

Mr. Right: What about the woman? Why wasn't she being kicked out? Or were all the rest of the male patrons taking their turn with her?

She was intoxicated and therefore a victim in this situation.

At one of the clubs I used to work at I was hanging around the front door hanging out with the door guys. Then 3 bouncers are carrying this real drunk guy out his pants were puled halfway down. They toss him out and then a few girls come out, one of them is crying and hysterical. I figured it was some weird sex thing or something. Then she blurts out real loud " I CANT BELIEVE HE PEED ON ME!!!" Yeah we all laughed.

Ed Becker: Shocked? I'm not. We had to kick out a moran who was a regular who thought it would be okay to eat his date in the middle of the bar.

You guys are so intolerant, they are tasty and rich in calories!
/Wait, what was that about?>

IT WASN'T ME, I WAS IN THE POOL, I WAS IN THE POOL!!! I SWEAR, -- LOOK!

I hope the bartender gets tested for STD's. And make jaws pay for it.

Jake Havechek: Ed Becker: Shocked? I'm not. We had to kick out a moran who was a regular who thought it would be okay to eat his date in the middle of the bar. Said moran said it would be okay if he took his girl downstairs and farked her in the office because he told us the manager would be okay with that... go ahead and call him. It's okay. Uh, no. It's not. He cost us 6 customers who were spending and tipping. When he was in last week he called me an asshole and a dick and told me nobody likes me while he stumbled backwards into a table in front of the manager. I thanked him. He was cut off and sent on his way.

/non-tipping piece of shiat.

Don't you have burly door guys to beat the crap out of guys like this in the parking lot so the lesson sinks in?

You phrased that stunningly well. So much so, in fact, that I'm lamenting that our IT department here doesn't employ lads of that description for dealing with the more out-of-line users we have.

/Seriously - very nicely worded

Somacandra:

Came here for that. Thanks!

You're fired...
.....but I'm on break!!!