If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   There are 1.3 billion cattle in the world today, and they all descended from a small herd of 80 wild ox domesticated about 10,000 year ago   (summitcountyvoice.com) divider line 104
    More: Interesting, CNRS, domestication, Near East, domesticated animals, Chesapeake Energy, nucleic acid sequence, herds, prehistoric animals  
•       •       •

3825 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Apr 2012 at 6:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-01 03:57:38 PM
thank god for all the farm kids who keep pumping out new dna

:/
 
2012-04-01 04:02:52 PM
It's not moos, it's Fark.
 
2012-04-01 04:13:59 PM
This is mentioned in the Old Testament, Genesis: The Dairy of Anne Frank
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-04-01 04:28:21 PM
This restricted area could be explained by the fact that cattle breeding, contrary to, for example, goat herding, would have been very difficult for mobile societies, and that only some of them were actually sedentary at that time in the Near East.

Next time you call me lazy for sitting on my ass in front of a computer, remember that sedentary people invented steak.
 
2012-04-01 05:18:10 PM
f*cking cattle
 
2012-04-01 06:00:19 PM
Coming soon to a hipster supermarket near you: non-inbred beef

Someone help me come up with a catchy marketing term
 
2012-04-01 06:04:34 PM
Yeah, but they bred with Cylon cattle.
 
2012-04-01 06:18:12 PM

Chariset: Coming soon to a hipster supermarket near you: non-inbred beef

Someone help me come up with a catchy marketing term


Beef so good, it's illegal in West Virginia.
 
2012-04-01 06:28:02 PM
And yet, you can only bring 30 pounds of meat back to your wagon.
 
2012-04-01 06:53:47 PM

Chariset: Coming soon to a hipster supermarket near you: non-inbred beef

Someone help me come up with a catchy marketing term


OxyFixietm
 
2012-04-01 06:53:50 PM
You got gypped. I could

OtherLittleGuy: Yeah, but they bred with Cylon cattle.


Or Skrulls. Weren't some Skrulls turned into cattle and later slaughtered and eaten?
 
2012-04-01 06:54:27 PM
...excuse me, I have to go shoot my typist.
 
2012-04-01 07:04:07 PM

Chariset: Coming soon to a hipster supermarket near you: non-inbred beef

Someone help me come up with a catchy marketing term


Fixie Longhorn
Beef Tipsters
Auternative (Way better than mainstream auroch)
 
2012-04-01 07:07:29 PM
SubKulture Way: Our beef sandwiches are cattle in bread, not inbred cattle.
 
2012-04-01 07:17:26 PM
The person or people who first captured that first herd of cattle are among the best of humanity, second only to the person or people who first domesticated pigs. Mostly for the bacon.

/I would like to try wild boar bacon sometime.
//Apparently it takes about two weeks for a cow to go wild.
 
2012-04-01 07:18:10 PM
www.zombierunner.com
 
2012-04-01 07:20:01 PM
meh. my eocanis still wants steak.
 
2012-04-01 07:25:48 PM
I know people complain about cows being inefficient and a vegan lifestyle is better for the planet, but if you look at it closely, cattle are very effective at what they're designed to do. They take silage, which is inedible to humans, and turn it into high-quality animal protein. Dairy cattle also produce a raw material, milk, that can be turned into various human-edible forms, even if you lack the lactose-cleaving enzyme. They also produce hides that are tough, durable, and easily worked once tanned. Basically, if you were a hunter-gatherer or a new agriculturalist, cattle are supermarket and hardware store all rolled in to one.

Sure, we shouldn't be feeding ruminants grains, and modern cattle are all about feeding the insatiable maw of convenience foods, but don't throw the calf out with the trough water.
 
2012-04-01 07:26:14 PM

Chariset: Coming soon to a hipster supermarket near you: non-inbred beef

Someone help me come up with a catchy marketing term


I thought hipster foodies demanded that their food come with pedigree showing it was a artisanally raised, locally sourced cow raised on a diet of hothouse raised vegatables and fair-trade coffee.

//I didn't pay $65 for this burger just to have the same "pink slime" as you bastards. Do I look like an idiot?
 
2012-04-01 07:27:58 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: And yet, you can only bring 30 pounds of meat back to your wagon.


Ooops, you have died of dysentery.
 
2012-04-01 07:42:59 PM
1.3 Billion huh?

Well that's quite the load of bullshiat, if you ask me.
 
2012-04-01 07:47:08 PM
21 posts into a thread about the genetic lineage of cattle and not one joke about Subby's mom?

You are slipping, Farkers. Shame on you.
 
2012-04-01 07:48:44 PM

Balchinian: 21 posts into a thread about the genetic lineage of cattle and not one joke about Subby's mom?

You are slipping, Farkers. Shame on you.


I can't believe that Balchinian's mom was domesticated so long ago.
 
2012-04-01 07:51:10 PM
About 70,000 years ago, there was a near extinction event and there were so few of us left worldwide, if we were all in one place, we could've known everybody else by their first name.
 
2012-04-01 07:53:11 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: And yet, you can only bring 30 pounds of meat back to your wagon.


*comes in the night as steals TMLOs clothes...ALL OF THEM!*

/Has happened to me before, about 5 steps from Independence
 
2012-04-01 07:56:06 PM

JasonOfOrillia: Balchinian: 21 posts into a thread about the genetic lineage of cattle and not one joke about Subby's mom?

You are slipping, Farkers. Shame on you.

I can't believe that Balchinian's mom was domesticated so long ago.


Thank you, Jason. Better late than never. (I'm not actually the Subby, though it really doesn't matter.)
 
2012-04-01 07:57:01 PM
It has always amazed me that civilization somehow looks the other way when cowshiat from 1.3 billion head of cattle is somehow just left on the ground to find its way into the ecosystem.
 
2012-04-01 08:14:35 PM

Burr: *comes in the night as steals TMLOs clothes...ALL OF THEM!*

/Has happened to me before, about 5 steps from Independence


MY HAWAIIAN SHIRTS, YOU BASTARD!


theorellior: Ooops, you have died of dysentery.


Here lies TMLO
peperony and chease
 
2012-04-01 08:20:56 PM
any way we can breed cattle with pigs?
 
2012-04-01 08:22:01 PM

tedbundee: any way we can breed cattle with pigs?


Thus creating a Bacow, capable of producing all the ingredients for a bacon cheese burger in ONE animal?

/working on it
 
2012-04-01 08:25:55 PM
Interesting. Reminds of a story I read a few years back that claimed all humans can be traced back to one woman; fanning flames to the Adam and eve story. Can't find it, maybe I imagined it.
 
2012-04-01 08:26:46 PM

TheSwizz: Interesting. Reminds of a story I read a few years back that claimed all humans can be traced back to one woman; fanning flames to the Adam and eve story. Can't find it, maybe I imagined it.


Yeah, that was subby's mom...DUH!
 
2012-04-01 08:31:51 PM

pivazena: tedbundee: any way we can breed cattle with pigs?

Thus creating a Bacow, capable of producing all the ingredients for a bacon cheese burger in ONE animal?

/working on it


beautiful
 
2012-04-01 08:37:27 PM

Coelacanth: About 70,000 years ago, there was a near extinction event and there were so few of us left worldwide, if we were all in one place, we could've known everybody else by their first name.


Yep. But I've always wondered: Why did they allow ur-Carrot Top to reproduce?
 
2012-04-01 08:48:32 PM
theorellior:

They take silage, which is inedible to humans, and turn it into high-quality animal protein.

And why exactly would one have a surplus of silage?

I'm with you on most points, but...
 
2012-04-01 08:55:33 PM

Burr: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: And yet, you can only bring 30 pounds of meat back to your wagon.

*comes in the night as steals TMLOs clothes...ALL OF THEM!*

/Has happened to me before, about 5 steps from Independence


Clearly you didn't buy the right things

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-01 08:56:14 PM

AliceBToklasLives: Coelacanth: About 70,000 years ago, there was a near extinction event and there were so few of us left worldwide, if we were all in one place, we could've known everybody else by their first name.

Yep. But I've always wondered: Why did they allow ur-Carrot Top to reproduce?


Ur-Rape.
 
2012-04-01 09:13:37 PM
thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-04-01 09:14:32 PM
TheSwizz

Keywords: Mitochondrial Eve
 
2012-04-01 09:14:35 PM

Chariset: Coming soon to a hipster supermarket near you: non-inbred beef

Someone help me come up with a catchy marketing term


How about "venison".
 
2012-04-01 09:17:32 PM

Kinan: It has always amazed me that civilization somehow looks the other way when cowshiat from 1.3 billion head of cattle is somehow just left on the ground to find its way into the ecosystem.


Yeah, if it weren't used as fertilizer in most places, it may even be considered a problem.
 
2012-04-01 09:20:11 PM

HeadLever: Kinan: It has always amazed me that civilization somehow looks the other way when cowshiat from 1.3 billion head of cattle is somehow just left on the ground to find its way into the ecosystem.

Yeah, if it weren't used as fertilizer in most places, it may even be considered a problem.


Not to mention the sheer mass of all the insect shiat that hits the ground every day......omg everything is covered in insect shiat.
 
2012-04-01 09:20:58 PM

maxheck: And why exactly would one have a surplus of silage?


What else are you going to use all of the left-over plant material from corn or other cereal/grass plants? You basically till it back into the ground or feed it to livestock.
 
2012-04-01 09:22:06 PM

theorellior: I know people complain about cows being inefficient and a vegan lifestyle is better for the planet, but if you look at it closely, cattle are very effective at what they're designed to do. They take silage, which is inedible to humans, and turn it into high-quality animal protein. Dairy cattle also produce a raw material, milk, that can be turned into various human-edible forms, even if you lack the lactose-cleaving enzyme. They also produce hides that are tough, durable, and easily worked once tanned. Basically, if you were a hunter-gatherer or a new agriculturalist, cattle are supermarket and hardware store all rolled in to one.

Sure, we shouldn't be feeding ruminants grains, and modern cattle are all about feeding the insatiable maw of convenience foods, but don't throw the calf out with the trough water.


+1

I would rather have a herd of cattle for subsistence farming than a herd of Vegans.
 
2012-04-01 09:33:31 PM

archichris: Not to mention the sheer mass of all the insect shiat that hits the ground every day......omg everything is covered in insect shiat.


Yeah, the city folk are typically pretty easy to spot. To see how 'citified' you are, try this one: (new window)
 
2012-04-01 09:48:41 PM
I remember an article a few years back very similar to this one. It said that DNA tests concluded that 90% of Europeans could be traced back to one man.

For the life of me, I cannot find this information online anymore.

I wonder if they hushed it up.

cdn.gunaxin.com
 
2012-04-01 09:49:53 PM

HeadLever: archichris: Not to mention the sheer mass of all the insect shiat that hits the ground every day......omg everything is covered in insect shiat.

Yeah, the city folk are typically pretty easy to spot. To see how 'citified' you are, try this one: (new window)


Interesting. I got 66 and as a farmer I'm about as far from citified as it gets. I think I lost point due to a) not owning a tv and b) being canadian.
 
2012-04-01 09:53:38 PM

amishkarl: Interesting. I got 66 and as a farmer I'm about as far from citified as it gets. I think I lost point due to a) not owning a tv and b) being canadian.


Yeah, plus it is a little biased toward manufacturing rather than resource extraction (ag/mining/timber).
 
2012-04-01 09:55:38 PM

HeadLever: archichris: Not to mention the sheer mass of all the insect shiat that hits the ground every day......omg everything is covered in insect shiat.

Yeah, the city folk are typically pretty easy to spot. To see how 'citified' you are, try this one: (new window)


That's not a city/rural test: It's more of a joe-sixpack quotient* test for white people. It's interesting how much military service pushes up the score ...


/*What's your J6Q?
 
2012-04-01 10:18:18 PM

HeadLever: amishkarl: Interesting. I got 66 and as a farmer I'm about as far from citified as it gets. I think I lost point due to a) not owning a tv and b) being canadian.

Yeah, plus it is a little biased toward manufacturing rather than resource extraction (ag/mining/timber).


I got a 63, but I have a rural/agricultural background (and a rural current lifestyle) and not "working class". When it asked what the chief breadwinner was, I was torn. My dad didn't have a prestigious job, but I wouldn't call a self employed farmer "blue collar" either.

/Was just on the farm today, showing my son the new lambs
//would have a farm if I had the money
 
Displayed 50 of 104 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report