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(Mother Nature Network)   The scientific reason why your wife won't sleep with you   (mnn.com) divider line 117
    More: Interesting, University of Guelph, monogamous relationship, gender roles, Female Sexual Function Index, loves  
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23614 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2012 at 12:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-01 11:09:43 AM
The fact that I buried her four feet beneath my new woodshed is science?
 
2012-04-01 12:21:06 PM
because she's sleeping with me.
 
2012-04-01 12:28:05 PM

ManateeGag: because she's sleeping with me.


Came to say that. There is also a statistically relevant chance, if you are reading this, that I am also sleeping with your mom.
 
2012-04-01 12:28:58 PM
She's all up at the mall, shoppin'...
 
2012-04-01 12:29:43 PM

GORDON: ManateeGag: because she's sleeping with me.

Came to say that. There is also a statistically relevant chance, if you are reading this, that I am also sleeping with your mom.


But mine's dead. And dude, that's sick.
 
2012-04-01 12:31:48 PM
Because, Dude, you got fat.
 
2012-04-01 12:32:38 PM
No mention of what happens when the woman figures out how much of the man's projected image is phony?

Whenever I hear a man complaining about his "ice queen" wife, I think to myself "So you baited and switched her into a relationship, how's that working out for you?"
 
2012-04-01 12:33:16 PM
I've got a buddy who's wife wouldn't sleep with him for a year and a half. He told her if things didn't change, he'd get sex from someone else. She screamed and a rights cried and threatened divorce, but things didn't change. He followed through. She screamed and cried and threatened divorce, but things changed.
 
2012-04-01 12:36:27 PM
What if I'm the wife and my wife's my wife?
 
2012-04-01 12:37:58 PM

ManateeGag: because she's sleeping with me.


GORDON: ManateeGag: because she's sleeping with me.

Came to say that. There is also a statistically relevant chance, if you are reading this, that I am also sleeping with your mom.


Check and check.

And I can account for all the sisters, of-age daughters and female cousins.

Nice work, guys.
 
2012-04-01 12:38:05 PM
"She's a biatch who already has you under contract" conspicuously absent.
 
2012-04-01 12:43:14 PM

theteacher: What if I'm the wife and my wife's my wife?


I can only assume you're sensuously appreciating each others' femininity to over-produced late-70s funk around the clock.

/saw it on the internet.
//would rather be happy than right.
///how do you have the energy to work?
 
2012-04-01 12:43:55 PM
It must suck not being married to a nympho
 
2012-04-01 12:44:39 PM

PvtHike: GORDON: ManateeGag: because she's sleeping with me.

Came to say that. There is also a statistically relevant chance, if you are reading this, that I am also sleeping with your mom.

But mine's dead. And dude, that's sick.


That must be why she doesn't move around much.
 
2012-04-01 12:45:23 PM

bukketmaster: "She's a biatch who already has you under contract" conspicuously absent.


The people in the study weren't married for the most part (170 undergraduate women and men who had been in heterosexual relationships for anywhere from one month to nine years).
Subby just extrapolated from there.
 
2012-04-01 12:46:12 PM
Just because subby has a wee little pecker doesn't mean he has to drag the rest of us into his misery.
 
2012-04-01 12:47:57 PM

GORDON: PvtHike: GORDON: ManateeGag: because she's sleeping with me.

Came to say that. There is also a statistically relevant chance, if you are reading this, that I am also sleeping with your mom.

But mine's dead. And dude, that's sick.

That must be why she doesn't move around much.


Protip: A car battery and some jumper cables can solve that problem.
 
2012-04-01 12:50:18 PM
Tl;dr:
The same reason companies have all those great deals for new customers but have nothing but shiat for existing customers.
 
2012-04-01 12:51:55 PM
Well thank God for that article. And here I thought it was because of the 20 pounds I gained and my inept technique in bed.
 
2012-04-01 12:53:29 PM

JasonOfOrillia: Because, Dude, you got fat.


Hey! She got fat too!

I mean... oh.

/I sound fat.
 
2012-04-01 12:57:10 PM
Go with the nympho every time.
 
2012-04-01 12:57:35 PM

Breathe Laugh Twitch: No mention of what happens when the woman figures out how much of the man's projected image is phony?

Whenever I hear a man complaining about his "ice queen" wife, I think to myself "So you baited and switched her into a relationship, how's that working out for you?"


Are you saying women never pull that stunt?

Also, this hedonistic study will destroy the holy, sanctified institution of marriage and must be stopped!
 
2012-04-01 12:57:39 PM

epijunkie67: And here I thought it was because of the 20 pounds I gained and my inept technique in bed.


While possibly the latter may be responsible, studies show women gain more weight after marriage then men do. And from the article, men don't seem to care, as their sexual desire remains unchanged. However, as noted before, the number of married undergraduates in the study was not revealed in the news blurb.


Article from five months ago (new window)
 
2012-04-01 12:58:37 PM

Cubicle Jockey: bukketmaster: "She's a biatch who already has you under contract" conspicuously absent.

The people in the study weren't married for the most part (170 undergraduate women and men who had been in heterosexual relationships for anywhere from one month to nine years).
Subby just extrapolated from there.


Great, now I have to re-write my thesis.

But seriously,knowing this is prevalent among non-married couples as well doesn't make it less depressing.
 
2012-04-01 12:58:51 PM
"migraines". always "migraines"
 
2012-04-01 12:59:15 PM

bim1154: Just because subby has a wee little pecker doesn't mean he has to drag the rest of us into his misery.


Dude, you're projecting again. Didn't your shrink talk with you about that?
 
2012-04-01 01:01:00 PM
We've got 3 kids, 11, 8, and 14 months.... who the heck has time or energy ?
 
2012-04-01 01:02:42 PM
But, I do sleep with him. May be all that I do with him, but still . . .
 
2012-04-01 01:08:26 PM

bim1154: Just because subby has a wee little pecker doesn't mean he has to drag the rest of us into his misery.


This subby is a girl, so no pecker at all.

/yaayyyy first greenlight
 
2012-04-01 01:09:15 PM
Wives resemble Pacific salmon...they spawn and they are done.
 
2012-04-01 01:11:15 PM

Breathe Laugh Twitch: No mention of what happens when the woman figures out how much of the man's projected image is phony?

Whenever I hear a man complaining about his "ice queen" wife, I think to myself "So you baited and switched her into a relationship, how's that working out for you?"


Sounds like you got Punk'd a time or two.
 
2012-04-01 01:11:34 PM

notalwaysright: This subby is a girl, so no pecker at all.


You might get offers of pecker administration with a comment like that.
 
2012-04-01 01:12:08 PM
Because she's getting oder and no onger has the body of a twenty year od despite your many insistence that you do?

Because she's ridden that ride aready and you haven't had anything new to bring to the party in five years?

Because sex isn't the foundation of a ong term reationship, nor shoud it be?

Because she's getting better from the neighbor's coege grad?
 
2012-04-01 01:13:03 PM

JesusJuice: I've got a buddy who's wife wouldn't sleep with him for a year and a half. He told her if things didn't change, he'd get sex from someone else. She screamed and a rights cried and threatened divorce, but things didn't change. He followed through. She screamed and cried and threatened divorce, but things changed.



Your buddy acted properly. Except he should have just gotten the divorce.
 
2012-04-01 01:14:52 PM
Lets see, contract? Check. Kids? Check. Looks like the thread already covered what I was going to say.
 
2012-04-01 01:16:48 PM

Aracnix: Because she's getting oder and no onger has the body of a twenty year od despite your many insistence that you do?

Because she's ridden that ride aready and you haven't had anything new to bring to the party in five years?

Because sex isn't the foundation of a ong term reationship, nor shoud it be?

Because she's getting better from the neighbor's coege grad?


Wired. It's Christmas in my post...


/noel
 
2012-04-01 01:18:36 PM

Aracnix: Because she's getting oder and no onger has the body of a twenty year od despite your many insistence that you do?

Because she's ridden that ride aready and you haven't had anything new to bring to the party in five years?

Because sex isn't the foundation of a ong term reationship, nor shoud it be?

Because she's getting better from the neighbor's coege grad?


Did you forget to pick up some "L"'s at the store?
 
2012-04-01 01:22:32 PM

JesusJuice: I've got a buddy who's wife wouldn't sleep with him for a year and a half. He told her if things didn't change, he'd get sex from someone else. She screamed and a rights cried and threatened divorce, but things didn't change. He followed through. She screamed and cried and threatened divorce, but things changed.


Damn straight. It's why you shouldn't stay in a relationship longer than a few months. You don't have to go through all the hand-wringing of trying to figure out why things cooled off. Was it biology? Hormones? Emotional problems?

Who gives a shiat! You're already on to the next one!
 
2012-04-01 01:23:13 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: Lets see, contract? Check. Kids? Check. Looks like the thread already covered what I was going to say.


Again, the study was of 170 college undergraduates. What percentage of those are married and with kids?
 
2012-04-01 01:25:54 PM
Odd, as a gay man I've noticed this too.

#top.

I am still (mildly) interested in sex with other people though...
 
2012-04-01 01:39:12 PM
Well I thought it was more telling when I threw out the last of the condoms that expired in 09.
 
2012-04-01 01:57:26 PM

JBangworthy: JesusJuice: I've got a buddy who's wife wouldn't sleep with him for a year and a half. He told her if things didn't change, he'd get sex from someone else. She screamed and a rights cried and threatened divorce, but things didn't change. He followed through. She screamed and cried and threatened divorce, but things changed.


Your buddy acted properly. Except he should have just gotten the divorce.


Right. He should move out of the house he bought from working 25 days a month, pay child support, pay alimony, and see his kids twice a month because she can't be bothered to have sex with her husband once in awhile.

Makes perfect sense.
 
2012-04-01 01:59:19 PM

Thisbymaster: Well I thought it was more telling when I threw out the last of the condoms that expired in 09.


Hey, at least you thought you had a reason to get them, even if just wishful thinking! I don't even have that to go with.
 
2012-04-01 02:00:38 PM

speciaal: Did you forget to pick up some "L"'s at the store?


Annual Fark 4/1 tradition.
 
2012-04-01 02:01:28 PM
I recall reading an article related to this that went over the sex drives of men and women. Men's sex drives were pretty much constant and men were willing to have sex whenever. Women it was found had a sex drive that was more finicky and dependent on the environment. The article noted that gay men were having sex at a greater frequency than lesbian women.
 
2012-04-01 02:02:13 PM

Smeggy Smurf: It must suck not being married to a nympho


No need to buy the milk from a nympho, sucker.
 
2012-04-01 02:07:51 PM
"Because you assumed her commitment was the signal that you'd finally gotten a lifetime subscription to sex and therefore stopped trying" and "Because she stopped trying to buy you with sex once you committed" strangely absent.
 
2012-04-01 02:09:23 PM
Because only want to GET married not BE married.
 
2012-04-01 02:19:53 PM
In my experience - most people fail pretty hard at everything.

Most guys are crappy husbands.
Most women are crappy wives.
Most marriages are crappy, as a result of being made up of people who are pretty crappy at being in a marriage.
 
2012-04-01 02:35:34 PM

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: JBangworthy: JesusJuice: I've got a buddy who's wife wouldn't sleep with him for a year and a half. He told her if things didn't change, he'd get sex from someone else. She screamed and a rights cried and threatened divorce, but things didn't change. He followed through. She screamed and cried and threatened divorce, but things changed.


Your buddy acted properly. Except he should have just gotten the divorce.

Right. He should move out of the house he bought from working 25 days a month, pay child support, pay alimony, and see his kids twice a month because she can't be bothered to have sex with her husband once in awhile.

Makes perfect sense.


And the alternative?
 
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