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(The Frisky)   "You found someone you like enough to marry? Who also wants to marry you? And now you want some farking towels as a bonus prize, are you kidding me?"   (thefrisky.com) divider line 133
    More: Amusing, WIC, Food and beverage, consumer culture, towels  
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11771 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2012 at 1:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-29 01:04:39 PM
After my brother got married and he and his new wife settled into their home, he pulled me aside to tell me about all the kitchen gear they had received as gifts. He said, and I quote, "You should get married, sis. When you get married, people give you stuff!"

I think registries worked back when couples lived on their own prior to tying the knot, so that the registry really is the start of their life together. When you establish a home prior to the wedding, as they did with their apartment, it gets tacky.

/yes, some of that kitchen stuff was from me
//the cheapest items on their registry
 
2012-03-29 01:34:35 PM
This is an insanely stupid article.
 
2012-03-29 01:36:45 PM
Jealous much?
People give gifts to people as a way of celebrating, film at 11
 
2012-03-29 01:48:23 PM
I didn't get any towels.

/just sayin...
 
2012-03-29 01:53:12 PM
3rd times the charm. Give me something.
 
2012-03-29 01:54:03 PM

NuttierThanEver: Jealous much?
People give gifts to people as a way of celebrating, film at 11


Uh, read the article. This woman is gushing about how generous her friends are and how she doesn't really think her getting married warrants such treatment. They bought her and her husband a farking trampoline too, so they're friends are pretty cool.
 
2012-03-29 01:54:10 PM
I used to follow social norms back before you'd heard of them. Now I've moved on. I'm above that kind of thing.

/hipster
/no longer invited to weddings
/or parties
/or lunch
/or anywhere
 
2012-03-29 01:55:51 PM
"One of the reasons I'm especially excited about getting married is that I feel like I get to be part of a new vanguard of couples redefining what it means to be husband and wife"

What the actual fark?
 
2012-03-29 01:56:40 PM

DamnYankees: This is an insanely stupid article.


Just awful.
 
2012-03-29 01:58:17 PM
Man I really want a trampoline

/not getting married tho
 
2012-03-29 01:58:50 PM
I should have done this.....

/wants trampoline badly
// drunk nights on trampolines are great!
/// drunk sex on trampolines are better.....
 
2012-03-29 01:58:51 PM
fark yeah trampolines.
 
2012-03-29 01:59:03 PM
Marriage: Because a man has too much stuff, and wants to give half of it away, plus half of his future earnings, for the promise of some bad pussy that he won't be getting that much anymore once the ring goes on her finger.
 
2012-03-29 02:01:22 PM
Getting married in June. Not registered anywhere. If someone gives a check I certainly would cash it to help cover the cost of the wedding. If we invited you to our party, it is because we like you, not for loot.
 
2012-03-29 02:02:13 PM
Anybody want to get married and jump on a trampoline with me?

/So ronery
 
2012-03-29 02:02:34 PM

DamnYankees: This is an insanely stupid article.


Yup. And I'd say Andrea Grimes is too immature to marry.
 
2012-03-29 02:03:34 PM

SteveFU: I should have done this.....

/wants trampoline badly
// drunk nights on trampolines are great!
/// drunk sex on trampolines are better.....


That is not nearly as good of an idea as it sounds on paper

/trust me
 
2012-03-29 02:04:11 PM
Enjoy your inability to move your head at your wedding because of serious neck pain.

/trampolines are great for teaching kids about consequences
 
2012-03-29 02:06:11 PM

Chinchillazilla: Enjoy your inability to move your head at your wedding because of serious neck pain.

/trampolines are great for teaching kids about consequences


What, does the trampoline make 'em pregnant or something?

Is it a rape trampoline?
 
2012-03-29 02:08:16 PM
FTFA:

"Susan, my person of honor at our wedding..."

And I stopped reading.
 
2012-03-29 02:09:32 PM
Wedding gifts work and make sense when:
1. You get married young before you've really established yourselves financially
2. You haven't already set up a house together
3. You view marriage as the establishment of a family rather than a mere expression of romantic love and personal fulfillment

Minus these, wedding presents and even big wedding ceremonies don't make much sense. If these don't apply to you then run down to the courthouse, sign some papers, update your Facebook status and be done with it.

I got married at 37, but 2 and 3 still applied. I still felt a lot of the wedding presents we got were superfluous since we both had our own households with lots of stuff already. But it's hard to change one of the most entrenched traditions in western culture.

Also, the author is a troll. I give him 5/10.
 
2012-03-29 02:10:07 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Chinchillazilla: Enjoy your inability to move your head at your wedding because of serious neck pain.

/trampolines are great for teaching kids about consequences

What, does the trampoline make 'em pregnant or something?

Is it a rape trampoline?


Rapeoline?
 
2012-03-29 02:10:50 PM
Firstly - I never got my towel, I'm looking at you Guinness.
Secondly - I'm getting married in June. My fiancee and I have quite a long registry and if people give us stuff, that's awesome. We both have our own places and we tried very hard to register for only practical things, like a vacuum cleaner.
Thirdly - I want my towel!
 
2012-03-29 02:11:29 PM
One of the best wedding gifts we got was a Weber charcoal grill. The wood on the handle is rotting away, spiders spin webs in the legs, and the ash-catching pan has vanished, but I still break it out a few times every summer to grill with. A cadre of college friends did like TFA's friends and pooled the $80 it cost and bought it. Best. Gift. Evar.
 
2012-03-29 02:11:46 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Chinchillazilla: Enjoy your inability to move your head at your wedding because of serious neck pain.

/trampolines are great for teaching kids about consequences

What, does the trampoline make 'em pregnant or something?

Is it a rape trampoline?


I remember spending several days unable to move my neck, as mentioned, when I was like ten. I had jumped on a trampoline and fallen off the day before. Didn't hurt at the time, so I assumed I was fine. Oh, fickle trampoline gods!

I got off lightly, though. One of my dumber friends ruptured his spleen while skateboarding (I know!) on a trampoline. Several of my friends broke arms on them. I'm not for banning them or anything, but I'm kind of amazed someone hasn't gotten them banned already.
 
2012-03-29 02:13:30 PM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: "One of the reasons I'm especially excited about getting married is that I feel like I get to be part of a new vanguard of couples redefining what it means to be husband and wife"

What the actual fark?


That's right! Before this couple came along, every marriage, everywhere, was the same type of relationship, using a constant, unchanging definition for "husband" and "wife." It's really only this new vanguard who are radical and progressive and really changing the true meaning of marriage, dude! Don't you get it? They're getting married, just like everyone used to do, but they're still special.

/gah
 
2012-03-29 02:13:52 PM
And can you imagine the nerve of our kid? First, he wants a prize for living one year. Then he wants a prize for surviving a SECOND year. Will it ever end?
 
2012-03-29 02:14:38 PM
Are you supposed to take the rice out of the bag or just heave the 5 pound sack at the newlyweds?
 
2012-03-29 02:14:52 PM

smokinbuddha: Getting married in June. Not registered anywhere. If someone gives a check I certainly would cash it to help cover the cost of the wedding. If we invited you to our party, it is because we like you, not for loot.


Register. Seriously.
I used to hate it, but it is kinda nice. People who you like will also want to buy you things and it helps. Not everybody likes to give cash. And if you don't you may end up with four toasters.

Plus! If you register, you get a discount when you "complete" your registry. So my wife and I registered for outlandish crap we knew nobody would buy us just because it never/rarely went on sale. And those waterford glasses sure have held up hell of a lot better than the 'cheap' wineglasses, so that went well.
 
2012-03-29 02:15:15 PM

Julieahni: DamnYankees: This is an insanely stupid article.

Just awful.


It's an article about a married couple who are happy they received a trampoline as a wedding gift.

The f*cking horror.
 
2012-03-29 02:16:08 PM

Jake Havechek: Are you supposed to take the rice out of the bag or just heave the 5 pound sack at the newlyweds?


I prefer tossing boxes of Uncle Ben's long grain converted rice at them.

The points on the corners of the boxes prepare them for the years of agony they have embarked on.
 
2012-03-29 02:16:10 PM

Malacon: FirstNationalBastard: Chinchillazilla: Enjoy your inability to move your head at your wedding because of serious neck pain.

/trampolines are great for teaching kids about consequences

What, does the trampoline make 'em pregnant or something?

Is it a rape trampoline?

Rapeoline?


Rapeoline - face cream made from Canola oil!
 
2012-03-29 02:16:12 PM
The gifts are to make up for the sex you won't be having.
 
2012-03-29 02:17:21 PM

DrWhy: Malacon: FirstNationalBastard: Chinchillazilla: Enjoy your inability to move your head at your wedding because of serious neck pain.

/trampolines are great for teaching kids about consequences

What, does the trampoline make 'em pregnant or something?

Is it a rape trampoline?

Rapeoline?

Rapeoline - face cream made from Canola oil!


Maybe she's forced into it... maybe it's Rapeoline.
 
2012-03-29 02:19:58 PM
Where I come from giving cash is considered tacky, I don't why, but I think it implies that you're poor. Whatever. So china, crystal, silver and linen are considered "proper" gifts. In times of old, you simply went to the jeweler's and registered your "patterns". That was that. I never registered for kitchen gadgets and whatnot. Just my patterns, at several major stores. I still think telling your guests where you are registered via email or (GASP) on the actual invitation is tacky beyond belief.
 
2012-03-29 02:20:27 PM

Malacon: Is it a rape trampoline?

Rapeoline?


What a rapeoline might be like (new window). SFW (unless you work in a dog shelter)
 
2012-03-29 02:20:49 PM

2 grams: FTFA:

"Susan, my person of honor at our wedding..."

And I stopped reading.


The hell?

Sounds like Susan self identifies as a woman, so it's perfectly acceptable to call them a "Maid/Matron". Hell, a friend of mine had her best guy friend standing next to her and he just became the "Man of Honor". Not a big deal.

Only way I could see calling them a "person of honor" would be
(1)The person of honor is asexual
(2)You're a dickbag trying to make a stupid point.
 
2012-03-29 02:21:13 PM
FTA: "To me, a wedding registry full of pots and pans is a remnant of the marriages of a different era, one in which being a wife meant being the sole master of the domestic sphere"

Only if you cling the notions that only women cook. *I* put fancy French cookware and kitchen equipment on our wedding registry because I cook. Moreover, I do all the cooking in the household by choice, and actually *enjoy* it. Cookware and kitchen utensils are for women men people that cook.... assuming that every domestic utensil on a wedding registry is destined for a woman's hand only betrays her own antiquated perspective.
 
2012-03-29 02:22:24 PM

2 grams: FTFA:

"Susan, my person of honor at our wedding..."

And I stopped reading.


Yeah, it must be exhausting to be the kind of person who takes every societal and traditional expectation of you as a personal affront to your independence and individuality that must be repudiated.
 
2012-03-29 02:23:15 PM

BurnShrike: The gifts are to make up for the sex you won't be having.


They probably need that crying towel, then. Or maybe they could use it for drying off something else.

And FFS, don't trick me into clicking on anything named The Frisky. It's enough to cause a brain hemorrhage.
 
2012-03-29 02:24:16 PM
I got married 10 years ago, we were starting out and both came from well off families so my wife registered for a ton of stuff and got it, all high end kitchen gear, towels blah blah blah. Of all the wedding gifts we received, I have a wooden cutting board and a serving tray, neither of which I need. She also got the kids, the proceeds from the sale of the house i bought, my car, half my retirement and a nice monthly check, all of the furniture etc etc.

/fark you TFA writer, I hope you are in court arguing over that trampoline someday.
//ok, less coffee, less bitter
 
2012-03-29 02:25:03 PM

Spade: 2 grams: FTFA:

"Susan, my person of honor at our wedding..."

And I stopped reading.

The hell?

Sounds like Susan self identifies as a woman, so it's perfectly acceptable to call them a "Maid/Matron". Hell, a friend of mine had her best guy friend standing next to her and he just became the "Man of Honor". Not a big deal.

Only way I could see calling them a "person of honor" would be
(1)The person of honor is asexual
(2)You're a dickbag trying to make a stupid point.


I choose option 2. That's why I stopped reading.
 
2012-03-29 02:25:26 PM
When people ask where common courtesy and decency towards other human beings has gone, I will point to this article.
 
2012-03-29 02:26:16 PM

cryinoutloud: BurnShrike: The gifts are to make up for the sex you won't be having.

They probably need that crying towel, then. Or maybe they could use it for drying off something else.

And FFS, don't trick me into clicking on anything named The Frisky. It's enough to cause a brain hemorrhage.


Don't blame me for The Frisky. It's not my fault I'm sexy.
 
2012-03-29 02:26:29 PM
Don't know why all the hate on this girl....having read the article it sounds to me like this groom got himself a damn good deal. More women should be like her and defy the "Wedding Industrial Complex".

Spending tens of thousands on a wedding is decadent. Period.
 
2012-03-29 02:27:07 PM
I saw this video with 2 chicks pleasuring each other with dildos on a trampoline. Didn't make me want to buy a trampoline but I got a boner.
 
2012-03-29 02:28:31 PM

Jake Havechek: I saw this video with 2 chicks pleasuring each other with dildos on a trampoline. Didn't make me want to buy a trampoline but I got a boner.


Now, were they just boringly laying on the trampoline going at it, or did they anchor the dildo to the trampoline and bounce up and down on it?
 
2012-03-29 02:28:36 PM

Summa cum loudly: Don't know why all the hate on this girl....having read the article it sounds to me like this groom got himself a damn good deal. More women should be like her and defy the "Wedding Industrial Complex".

Spending tens of thousands on a wedding is decadent. Period.


You don't have to be a self-important douchenozzle to defy the "Wedding Industrial Complex". She failed that basic test....hence the hate.
 
2012-03-29 02:30:40 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Jake Havechek: I saw this video with 2 chicks pleasuring each other with dildos on a trampoline. Didn't make me want to buy a trampoline but I got a boner.

Now, were they just boringly laying on the trampoline going at it, or did they anchor the dildo to the trampoline and bounce up and down on it?


No, nothing fancy. Too many shadows from the sun, though.
 
2012-03-29 02:31:45 PM
What the hell is a breakfast taco???
 
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