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(Des Moines Register)   In his defense, the HR meetings never said he shouldn't look up female coworker's photos in the employee database and then pee on the chairs of those he found attractive   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 71
    More: Amusing, Des Moines, farm bureau, databases, meetings  
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6806 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2012 at 1:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-29 09:34:55 AM
I just finished my mandatory HR training, and I think he's got a case. Nowhere in that training did they say I couldn't pee on my coworkers and their stuff.
 
2012-03-29 09:45:09 AM
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon...
 
2012-03-29 10:04:09 AM
He was just marking the chairs so that no other guys would pee on them.
 
2012-03-29 10:04:46 AM
"Cat pee?"


images.popmatters.com
 
2012-03-29 10:38:58 AM
Marking his territory, it's just a primal urge he couldn't ignore......
 
2012-03-29 10:59:35 AM
lifeinbitesize.files.wordpress.com
"Sorry, wrong desk"
 
2012-03-29 11:10:24 AM

Charlie Freak: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon...


Came here for this. Leaving happy.
 
2012-03-29 11:58:03 AM
I do this. What's the problem?
 
2012-03-29 12:41:44 PM

Diogenes: I just finished my mandatory HR training, and I think he's got a case. Nowhere in that training did they say I couldn't pee on my coworkers and their stuff.


Time to update the orientation videos, then.
 
2012-03-29 12:42:41 PM
He's gotta find a way, a better way.
 
2012-03-29 01:19:40 PM
Well I got my HR training from R. Kelly.
 
2012-03-29 01:26:58 PM
I suppose this means ill have to update our employee handbook.. AGAIN...
 
2012-03-29 01:27:00 PM
Huh... so IT people shouldn't do that?

Is that wrong?

oh... right. OK.

/zips fly
 
2012-03-29 01:27:46 PM
you pee on the girls not the chairs!!

get it right people
 
2012-03-29 01:28:27 PM
The cost of the damaged chairs was mentioned, but what about the ruined skirts?

/also, ew.
 
2012-03-29 01:28:37 PM
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America!
 
2012-03-29 01:28:40 PM
Now that's an original sin.
 
2012-03-29 01:28:46 PM
I feel kind of sorry for the ladies with dry chairs.
 
2012-03-29 01:30:08 PM
It's SNIFF the chair, bub. SNIFF.

/Who trains the perverts these days? Sheesh.
 
2012-03-29 01:31:16 PM
I believe this is considered flirting in Germany.
 
2012-03-29 01:32:31 PM
The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?
 
2012-03-29 01:33:24 PM
[INTRO]
Yeah..
Its the premium
40oz of malt liquor make me wanna tell ya somethin

[SONG START]
I say, rollin' around,
sittin' on dubs
can not lie, was high on shrubs,
Coolin' in my Escalade,
Man I'm paid, I got it made,
Take me to your special place,
Close your eyes show me your face,


I'm gonna piss on it.


(Chorus)
Haters wanna hate,
Lovers wanna love,
I don't even want,
None of the above,
I want to piss on you.
Yes I do, I'll piss on you,
I'll pee on you.


It's your body, your body,
Is a portapotty,
When I pee I kick,

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/piss-on-you-lyrics-dave-chappelle.html ]

I'm gonna do karate on your body,
I'm want to pee on you,
Drip, drip, drip,

Yes I do I pee on you,
I ssss on you, ssss on you,


You'll never feel quite the same,
When you get a whiff of my Hershey stains,
I wanna poop on you too,
I want to pee in your food,
Only thing that makes my life complete,
Is when I turn your face into a toliet seat,
I want to pee on you,
Yes I do, Yes I do I'll pee on you,
I'll piss on you


(Chorus)
Haters wanna hate,

Lovers wanna love,

I don't even want,

None of the above,

I want to piss on you, yes I do I piss on you,

I'll pee on you


Won't you braid my hair,

I said won't you braid my hair
I'm gonna be a star, Im gonna go far,
I wanna fart on you
 
2012-03-29 01:33:30 PM
damages at $4500 for 4 chairs? Who has mahogany massage chairs at the farm bureau?
 
2012-03-29 01:34:14 PM
I don't respect the defense "he didn't know".

Besides usually being false, even when true the deterrent should be applied. If you really didn't know, now you do, and you won't forget. And if you do forget, you'll be reminded with more deterrent.

Also, i like the "three strikes and you're out" policy. I only wish that instead of "three strikes and you get life" it could be "three strikes and you lose your human rights".

That would be f*cking awesome. Death really is too good for some people.
 
2012-03-29 01:34:28 PM
Angela Smith · Urbandale, Iowa
I got my chair replaced, and they took away almost two truckloads of chairs today. They maybe only caught him on camera a few times, but my guess is in the years and years and YEARS that he worked here, he peed on more than 4. They didn't replace all chairs, just a few in my area....including mine. Yuck.


Hobart Schmenge · Top commenter · School of Hard Knocks, University of Life
You must feel honored to be one of his attractive "chosen ones." ;)
At least you got a new chair out of it.
 
2012-03-29 01:34:49 PM
CSB, badass over here, etc
 
2012-03-29 01:34:55 PM
Yep, this is gonna end up in future training sessions.
 
rka
2012-03-29 01:35:41 PM
Christ, there are some weird people out there.

Seriously out-there weird.

/welcome to the internet
 
2012-03-29 01:35:58 PM
Pheromones kinda work like that, just poor execution.
 
2012-03-29 01:37:11 PM

thecpt: damages at $4500 for 4 chairs? Who has mahogany massage chairs at the farm bureau?


Maybe he was like most men missed most of the chair and got it all over the silk persian rugs too.
 
2012-03-29 01:37:23 PM

Keigh: The cost of the damaged chairs was mentioned, but what about the ruined skirts?

/also, ew.


Yeah, I can hear the collective EEEWWWWW! when the women are told what the guy was doing to their chairs.
 
2012-03-29 01:37:54 PM

thecpt: damages at $4500 for 4 chairs? Who has mahogany massage chairs at the farm bureau?


Office chairs can be pretty expensive. Especially once you start getting into the ergonomic ones.
 
2012-03-29 01:37:58 PM
The man had worked in the information technology department

Perhaps he thought he worked in the I.P. department.
 
2012-03-29 01:37:59 PM

Cincinnati Kid: The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?


Good office chairs can be really expensive.

clicky (new window)
 
2012-03-29 01:38:29 PM

Keigh: The cost of the damaged chairs was mentioned, but what about the ruined skirts?

/also, ew.


Well, they could just take the skirts off. The chairs, however, have to be rolled out and replaced. I don't care how much you clean it, it's still a pee chair.
 
2012-03-29 01:38:56 PM

Cincinnati Kid: The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?


Some companies spend a decent chunk of change on chairs for their employees as comfortable employees are more productive. Aeron chairs, for instance, can go into the thousands of dollars and look like plastic and mesh piles of turds but GOD DAMN ARE THEY COMFORTABLE!
 
2012-03-29 01:39:11 PM
So that's what women mean when they tell you to put the seat down when you pee.
 
2012-03-29 01:40:30 PM
Some of the comments on the newspaper website are precious! I especially like this gem.



Gail Malin
What a dilemma for the female employees -- have a wet stinky chair, or not be attractive enough to have a wet stinky chair.
 
2012-03-29 01:40:48 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-03-29 01:43:57 PM
Dad?
 
2012-03-29 01:44:08 PM

Cincinnati Kid: The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?


I can tell you don't buy much office furniture.
 
2012-03-29 01:45:06 PM
The man had worked in the information technology department and had access to all computers and the employee database, Farm Bureau officials told the police.

What's this guy's Fark handle?
 
2012-03-29 01:46:14 PM

maxximillian: Cincinnati Kid: The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?

Good office chairs can be really expensive.

clicky (new window)


it's not that the chairs are expensive, it's that the word office is expensive. all office furniture, if bought for yourself, is around $100 or less. but, there is a $1,000 surcharge for any and all furniture bought for an office or business. add another $500 if you are a national corporation.

(because business people could gave a fark about how much they spend)
 
2012-03-29 01:46:30 PM
The chicks were asking for it ...
 
2012-03-29 01:48:07 PM
PEE ON DEBORAH'S CHAIR (LIKE A BOSS!)
 
2012-03-29 01:48:39 PM

maxximillian: Cincinnati Kid: The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?

Good office chairs can be really expensive.

clicky (new window)


Mine was $120 on sale, had to go out and buy it meself with a company card. At over one thousand it should do my job for me, or at least have a cup holder and cooler.
 
2012-03-29 01:49:00 PM

Rufus Lee King: He shall be judged by a jury of his peers.


Pees what you did there.
img600.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-29 01:49:17 PM

Cincinnati Kid: The article said that there four victims and the damage was $4500. So, were they sitting in $1125 chairs, or did each victim go through a couple before they figured it out?


The article said "one of the agency's employees had been caught on video urinating on the office chairs of four female co-workers." He peed on more chairs, but that was before they installed the cameras.
 
2012-03-29 01:51:31 PM
i406.photobucket.com

That's just how I roll.
 
2012-03-29 01:54:02 PM
Dude - biohazardous is hazardous! Ick!

Was alcohol involved at all? Is there any other excuse other than completely mental for a guy to do this?
 
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