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5004 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2012 at 10:36 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:    more»

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Pfffft...As if it matters. I have the winning ticket, so all of you losers don't even need to bother buying one.

Seriously, stay home.

Still no cure for negative expected returns.

The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

Just what CA needs: more insanely rich people.

gameshowhost: Still no cure for negative expected returns.

Eh, just think of the negative expected return as the price you are paying for the joy of the daydream.

now that's walking around money

I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

Pot odds vs. hand odds, my friend. If the odds are 1/176,000,000 and you're getting a chance at \$500,000,000 for your \$1, it makes mathematical sense to play. It actually makes mathematical sense to purchase three tickets. Well, nearly, but close enough.

But Lisa that missing Crayon could be anywhere.

Who wants Lottery tickets?!?!

Ok. It's in his brain.

I bought one and only one because the jackpot got big.

GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Aren't they \$2 each now? Or is Florida just screwing with everyone?

dahmers love zombie: GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Aren't they \$2 each now? Or is Florida just screwing with everyone?

Powerball is \$2 each, Mega Millions is still just one.

dahmers love zombie: GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Aren't they \$2 each now? Or is Florida just screwing with everyone?

I paid \$1 each. If I heard the woman in front of me right, Powerball is \$2. This is Mega Millions, assuming the headline has the name right.

The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

well it has become rational to buy one now .... sort of

To avoid any suspicion, I'm only going to buy 5 \$250,000 winners.

/well, no, I can't actually buy MM where I is.

GAT_00: dahmers love zombie: GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Aren't they \$2 each now? Or is Florida just screwing with everyone?

I paid \$1 each. If I heard the woman in front of me right, Powerball is \$2. This is Mega Millions, assuming the headline has the name right.

The ticket is \$1. You can pay another \$1 for a "multiplier." I'm not sure how the multiplier affects the jackpot.

I'm thinking it will go to \$6 million by Friday night, but who knows.

I was on the train this morning going to work and there was this guy sitting in front of me who had at least 20 copies that probably had ten \$5 tickets on each from the last drawing. He was going thru all of the numbers without a pen or pencil for the full hour.

/Obviously an office pool but some of these people are hardcore

namatad: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

well it has become rational to buy one now .... sort of

unless someone else also wins...

Earguy: GAT_00: dahmers love zombie: GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Aren't they \$2 each now? Or is Florida just screwing with everyone?

I paid \$1 each. If I heard the woman in front of me right, Powerball is \$2. This is Mega Millions, assuming the headline has the name right.

The ticket is \$1. You can pay another \$1 for a "multiplier." I'm not sure how the multiplier affects the jackpot.

Powerball tix are \$2. The multiplier is \$1.

Mega Millions tix are \$1. Its multiplier is also \$1.

Neither multiplier affects the jackpot. It only affects the lower prizes.

dahmers love zombie: GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Aren't they \$2 each now? Or is Florida just screwing with everyone?

Powerball is \$2 now. My office pool won't play with them bastards anymore.

I threw my \$5 into the office pool. If it hits, you'll never see my fatass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with my new friends.

AlwaysRightBoy: I'm thinking it will go to \$6 million by Friday night, but who knows.

I was on the train this morning going to work and there was this guy sitting in front of me who had at least 20 copies that probably had ten \$5 tickets on each from the last drawing. He was going thru all of the numbers without a pen or pencil for the full hour.

/Obviously an office pool but some of these people are hardcore

I guess we have it easy in Ohio. Here, all we have to do is go to a lottery seller and scan the tickets. If one is a winner, it'll let you know.

you know I've always thought of those lottery games as just another Federal tax @ the store....... I'm OK with throwing away a buck for a chance at being rich but no more then that........used to play a game called Powerball but when they raised the price to \$2.00, ....I"m out......k/dar

oh and of course I"ll also throw in with the folks @ work just because I don't want to be the only one left @ that damn place if they won.......that would really suck.......k/dar

dustman81: I threw my \$5 into the office pool. If it hits, you'll never see my fatass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with my new friends.

AlwaysRightBoy: I'm thinking it will go to \$6 million by Friday night, but who knows.

I was on the train this morning going to work and there was this guy sitting in front of me who had at least 20 copies that probably had ten \$5 tickets on each from the last drawing. He was going thru all of the numbers without a pen or pencil for the full hour.

/Obviously an office pool but some of these people are hardcore

I guess we have it easy in Ohio. Here, all we have to do is go to a lottery seller and scan the tickets. If one is a winner, it'll let you know.

You can scan 8.5x11 copies there?

We have machines everywhere in Manhattan that will let you scan the originals yourself, but not office copies.
//Are you going to trust the guy with the originals without copies? We make sure all the people paying into it have their names on the copies

PC LOAD LETTER: Just what CA needs: more insanely rich people.

dont you know they all already moved to texas?!?!?!

AlwaysRightBoy: dustman81: I threw my \$5 into the office pool. If it hits, you'll never see my fatass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with my new friends.

AlwaysRightBoy: I'm thinking it will go to \$6 million by Friday night, but who knows.

I was on the train this morning going to work and there was this guy sitting in front of me who had at least 20 copies that probably had ten \$5 tickets on each from the last drawing. He was going thru all of the numbers without a pen or pencil for the full hour.

/Obviously an office pool but some of these people are hardcore

I guess we have it easy in Ohio. Here, all we have to do is go to a lottery seller and scan the tickets. If one is a winner, it'll let you know.

You can scan 8.5x11 copies there?

We have machines everywhere in Manhattan that will let you scan the originals yourself, but not office copies.
//Are you going to trust the guy with the originals without copies? We make sure all the people paying into it have their names on the copies

The lottery seller can scan originals, but not copies. The guy managing the pool scans and emails us the copies of the tickets.

so I am thinking about buying \$100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

When the jackpots get past a certain point they grow faster than usual because you get people who normally don't play buying a ticket or two. Cause why the hell not?

I was going to say that if I hit the jackpot I'd treat all of Fark to a one-night drunken bender, but \$500 million might not be enough money to cover the tab.

WhyteRaven74: When the jackpots get past a certain point they grow faster than usual because you get people who normally don't play buying a ticket or two. Cause why the hell not?

I bought \$5 worth of tickets for yesterday's and I'll get another \$5 for Friday's. I can probably count on one hand the number of times in my life I played the lotto before this week, but at this point even I can't ignore it.

Oddly it's past a tipping point. Normally, if someone plays a lottery with one chance in 175 million, you'd rightly call them an idiot. But at this point, refusal to part with \$1 for a chance at half a billion dollars in return makes you the idiot. Nobody manages their finances so tightly that \$1 will make an impact.

DamnYankees: gameshowhost: Still no cure for negative expected returns.

Eh, just think of the negative expected return as the price you are paying for the joy of the daydream.

Sure, but it gets to be a problem when "daydream" turns into "investment strategy"... and that's all too common, if not the rule. Should be the exception.

/whole thing is a giant scam to hose the poor and uneducated (subsets which overlap quite a bit)
//'let's take that money... and put it into the reduction of property taxes :D'
///'poor/dumb people buy the tickets and they don't own any property trolololo'

It's a sure fire bet compared to the expectation of any of us collecting social security, or any of our 401k's being worth a shiat.

/You have to be over 80 to win it anyway.

I chipped in \$10 to buy a bunch of tickets with some coworkers.

We had \$20 worth of fun laughing about all of the people we'd fire after buying the company we work for, so even in the unlikely event that we don't win the \$500 million, we're still ahead.

As my wife reminds me, somebody is going to win this thing sooner or laterl and it's not like I'm going to turn playing the lottery into a habit. First thing to do with money like that is to buy an island and fall off the grid.

If I win I'm opening up a distillery in Idaho and a whorehouse in Nevada.

If you're throwing away \$20 a week, then you can go with the "tax on people bad at math". But, there are an amazing number of Farkers that continue to prattle on with that when most of us throw away that amount of money at a fast food restaurant without a second thought.

Yes, there is an insanely small chance of winning. However, having a ticket makes your chances infinitely better than not playing.

You'd have to be kinda stupid not to throw away \$5 or \$10 at just the chance to walk away with the cash option check of \$400m

And that means a free bottle for every BIE

OH PLEASE LORDY JESUS YOU KNOW I GOT TO WIN THIS ONE

Gulper Eel: I was going to say that if I hit the jackpot I'd treat all of Fark to a one-night drunken bender, but \$500 million might not be enough money to cover the tab.

Just pay off Drew's tab and get yourself a 12 of Natty Light. That should just about wipe out the jackpot.

When I hit for half a BILLION dollars I fully intend to buy that volcano lair with the tank of sharks with frickin lasers

With that kind of money I could buy a MacBook AND gas up the car.

/oblig

I know my shot of winning is crap, but it's well worth the \$5 just to have the pleasant thoughts of what one would do with that kind of cash. All of you debt, gone. You could live anywhere you want (Big Island for me), maybe start a small business that doesn't necessarily have to run a profit, just be enjoyable...
That's why I buy a ticket, just to have the possibilities to think about.

A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Oldiron_79: When I hit for half a BILLION dollars I fully intend to buy that volcano lair with the tank of sharks with frickin lasers

To be fair, you're only going to get \$360m in the cash option.

Or, of course, 19 230 769 a year for the next 26 years. So, you'll probably have to go piece-meal on the supervillian lair

Medical Toilet: [www.dailyrumpypumpy.com image 640x337]

/oblig

A billion chicks...

I don't play regularly but I bought 20 bucks worth. Hell, I'd happily split it with 5 people. Helluva party if I do. Y'all are invited. Except those troll guys.

Watch an ex con or convicted rapist win

DamnYankees: gameshowhost: Still no cure for negative expected returns.

Eh, just think of the negative expected return as the price you are paying for the joy of the daydream.

I don't have a single dream that requires \$500 million. If I won that money I would either share it until it was gone, and/or blow it on shiat that I neither need nor want and would certainly not put in any effort to secure.

/if I had kids I'd probably be singing a different tune.

bulldg4life: Oldiron_79: When I hit for half a BILLION dollars I fully intend to buy that volcano lair with the tank of sharks with frickin lasers

To be fair, you're only going to get \$360m in the cash option.

Or, of course, 19 230 769 a year for the next 26 years. So, you'll probably have to go piece-meal on the supervillian lair

Yes well, minor details. I'll also have to buy a fluffy white cat.

The crazy thing is that after taxes and such the \$500,000,000 becomes about \$200,000,000 so it only makes sense to buy one ticket.

The reason it is reduced so much is because you can either get it paid out in annual installments of \$500 million/26 for 26 years or something like \$350 million in one lump sum. As most people here probably know, the annuity is worth less in today's dollars than the sum of the payments, and probably about equal to the \$350 million lump sum when inflation is factored in. Then throw in 40% lost to taxes and that \$500 million is reduced to only \$200 million.

Still a disgustingly huge amount of money, but it doesn't justify buying more than 1 ticket, or maybe two when you factor in the smaller prizes as well.

We're all pitching in 20 bucks at work. First time I've ever thrown money at the lottery.

I would eat a million dollars and then shiat richly, like kings of old.

Abox: If I won that money I would either share it until it was gone

Isn't this part of the dream? Thinking about everyone and everything you know that you could give money to and improve their lives? Thats the most fun part of it, to me.

If no one wins on Friday, could this get up to a billion?

gameshowhost:
Sure, but it gets to be a problem when "daydream" turns into "investment strategy"... '

Seems like whenever all I need is a pack of smokes, I get stuck behind someone doing their retirement planning.

Hell, I'd pay for every Farker to have TF free for one solid year if I won that kind of money. Could you imagine TFD then?

Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

August11: Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

I think you do this AFTER you have put away something like \$20M in a lockbox, just in case.

DamnYankees: If no one wins on Friday, could this get up to a billion?

The jackpot has already gone to plaid. What could possibly come after plaid?

DamnYankees: Abox: If I won that money I would either share it until it was gone

Isn't this part of the dream? Thinking about everyone and everything you know that you could give money to and improve their lives? Thats the most fun part of it, to me.

Until the local one-screen theater was bought out and turned into a banquet hall, I was going to buy it, hire only local students, and include in their shift 2 hours paid to do their homework.

Just one idea, of course...

DamnYankees: If no one wins on Friday, could this get up to a billion?

It would take more than one non-winning draw to get to a billion. It was last won on January 24th. So, it started at \$12m on the 27th and 18 consecutive non-winners.

Now, it has gone up \$137m in between these two drawings. I'm not sure if it goes up again before Friday.

Even if we assume (with a non winner), that people start buying more and more...I would think it would take 3 more drawings, at least, before it got to a 10 digit jackpot

bluorangefyre: Could you imagine TFD then?

That's a hell of a way to spend 40m....

The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Pretty sure its impossible for federal and state taxes to take more than half your income.

DamnYankees: August11: Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

I think you do this AFTER you have put away something like \$20M in a lockbox, just in case.

Your "just in case" brain is a handicap. You know this already, though.

August11: Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

Where is the step that includes hookers and blow?

If I win I'm spreading a good 75 million among family, friends, and women who have sent me BIE, prior to the drawing.

August11: Your "just in case" brain is a handicap. You know this already, though.

Lizard brain FTW

AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Actually, the annuity is \$500 million and the cash payout is \$359 million. Federal tax would be 25% and then vary based on what state you live in. So you're looking at ~\$230 to \$255 million take home after taxes depending on state. I can part with \$5 for a shot. Hell, even if I don't win it was still nice daydreaming. A mental vacation.

I'm a math guy, so I know the odds of winning are somewhere up around being simultaneously killed in a plane crash while being eaten by a shark AND annihilated in a meteor explosion, but I threw 5 bucks at it anyway, because it's nice to dream.

Using the eFile calculator on an income of \$359,000,000...I got a federal tax payment of \$125,623,989.

DamnYankees: AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Pretty sure its impossible for federal and state taxes to take more than half your income.

Well.. What's the highest fed tax bracket? 35%? State taxes are 10% and we have this b.s. 'local' tax of 5%... that sure looks pretty darn close to 50%.

That's too much for any one person so I'm here to give you all the winning numbers:

22-23-31-44-53 MB 17

I'm going to need 5% from everyone, I live in a non Megamillions state.

jag164: August11: Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

Where is the step that includes hookers and blow?

#4

AeAe: Well.. What's the highest fed tax bracket? 35%?

To be fair, you'd only be paying 35% on the last 358,600,000 or so

bulldg4life: DamnYankees: If no one wins on Friday, could this get up to a billion?

It would take more than one non-winning draw to get to a billion. It was last won on January 24th. So, it started at \$12m on the 27th and 18 consecutive non-winners.

Now, it has gone up \$137m in between these two drawings. I'm not sure if it goes up again before Friday.

Even if we assume (with a non winner), that people start buying more and more...I would think it would take 3 more drawings, at least, before it got to a 10 digit jackpot

I'd get an RV and turn it into a vet office on wheels, free spays and neuters, free vetting, and give big to animal rescue groups, in addition to hooking up all my family and friends, and investing. Not to mention helping random deserving strangers. Fun to dream.

AeAe: DamnYankees: AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Pretty sure its impossible for federal and state taxes to take more than half your income.

Well.. What's the highest fed tax bracket? 35%? State taxes are 10% and we have this b.s. 'local' tax of 5%... that sure looks pretty darn close to 50%.

You deduct your state and local taxes from your income when you pay federal taxes. Otherwise its double taxation.

AeAe: Well.. What's the highest fed tax bracket? 35%? State taxes are 10% and we have this b.s. 'local' tax of 5%... that sure looks pretty darn close to 50%.

10%? You must be in New Jersey. Here's a link from Mega Million's website:

http://www.usamega.com/mega-millions-jackpot.asp

AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Depends on the state. In GA, for example, state tax is 6%, leaving a total of about 212m. whereas in NJ (10.8%, highest I could find) the take-home amount is 194m. There's also city taxes where applicable.

Still, I'm not sure how you get down to 179m. Payroll taxes are not applicable.

GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

I can see wasting a dollar, or whatever the minimum buy-in, for the chance (however miniscule it may be).
That buys me the same daydream's worth of entertainment as \$5, without reducing this week's beer budget by 5%

Your odds barely increase laying above minimum vs the pct decrease in your wallet

Maximer: Federal tax would be 25%

Federal tax would be 35%. The lotto has to withhold 25% up front, but you're still on the hook for the rest.

When you buy one ticket your chances are 1:170,000,000. But when you be a second your odds instantly double. Based on this math i've purchased 30 tickets.

1\$ = 1:170,000,000
2\$ = 1:85,000,000
3\$ = 1:42,500,000
4\$ = 1:21,750,000
...
30\$ = 1:0.317

I expect to win 3 jackpots, and all the minor prizes. I don't know why no one has figured this out yet.

wxboy: AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Depends on the state. In GA, for example, state tax is 6%, leaving a total of about 212m. whereas in NJ (10.8%, highest I could find) the take-home amount is 194m. There's also city taxes where applicable.

Still, I'm not sure how you get down to 179m. Payroll taxes are not applicable.

Yeah, ignore me. I was using the "50%" tax which apparently is not accurate.

Carry on..

So, I'll take the \$247,710,000 that I would get in Georgia...

Give me the \$47m+ to blow on anything I can think of...I'll invest \$200m in a nice medium risk fund getting 8% and I'll have a solid \$1.6b when I'm 50.

Nicholas Urfe: Maximer: Federal tax would be 25%

Federal tax would be 35%. The lotto has to withhold 25% up front, but you're still on the hook for the rest.

A ha! I thought I read that somewhere... So, in my case, it's still 35 + 10 (for state)... so .. 45%

Show of hands on the people who would look to go halves on a sports team?

bulldg4life: Show of hands on the people who would look to go halves on a sports team?

I'd rather just own amazing seats.

Hell, even if you pull a cash option only worth 250 million after taxes, put it in the safest thing your money manager can find. Hell, take 4% a year.

That's still 8 million or so. Maybe 4.8 after a 40 % capital gains tax. I mean I'm talking out of my ass here but I could live pretty well on 4.8 million a year as long as I don't develop a taste for hunting the most dangerous game or something.

I might die early sure. Probably, to be honest. But I don't think I'd die broke.

DamnYankees: bulldg4life: Show of hands on the people who would look to go halves on a sports team?

I'd rather just own amazing seats.

I dunno, man.

I'd really like to get some of those black badges that the Atlanta Braves executive management gets. Those things get you in everywhere...even the cheerleader's pants...

AeAe: A ha! I thought I read that somewhere... So, in my case, it's still 35 + 10 (for state)... so .. 45%

No. It'd be roughly 35 + 10(.65) because you can deduct your state income taxes from your federal liability.

Ashtrey: Maybe 4.8 after a 40 % capital gains tax

Where in the hell are you paying 40% capital gains?

bulldg4life: Ashtrey: Maybe 4.8 after a 40 % capital gains tax

Where in the hell are you paying 40% capital gains?

If you don't hold it for a certain period of time its taxed as income. Maybe that's what he meant.

CBob: A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Why bother? Stick the ~\$400 million in an account earning 4-5% interest. Sit on your lazy butt and collect \$16-20 million in risk free profit every year.

Nicholas Urfe: AeAe: A ha! I thought I read that somewhere... So, in my case, it's still 35 + 10 (for state)... so .. 45%

No. It'd be roughly 35 + 10(.65) because you can deduct your state income taxes from your federal liability.

Right right. I was rounding up.

If I win I'm giving \$1 million to every girl when send me BIE. So ladies you have till friday to send me BIE or you'll regret it for the rest of your life because right now the only one getting money is Grables'Daughter.

Maximer: AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

Actually, the annuity is \$500 million and the cash payout is \$359 million. Federal tax would be 25% and then vary based on what state you live in. So you're looking at ~\$230 to \$255 million take home after taxes depending on state. I can part with \$5 for a shot. Hell, even if I don't win it was still nice daydreaming. A mental vacation.

After blowing a few million, you could park a farkton in safe investments and net a minimum of 5 million a year after taxes and never have to touch the initial investment.

I'd donate \$10 million to my university with the stipulation that they spend it on new labs, advanced equipment, and competent professors.

DamnYankees: bulldg4life: Ashtrey: Maybe 4.8 after a 40 % capital gains tax

Where in the hell are you paying 40% capital gains?

If you don't hold it for a certain period of time its taxed as income. Maybe that's what he meant.

Long term capital gains (over 1 year) is taxed at 15% (a la Romney).

short term cap gains (less that 1 hear) is taxed as income... so in those terms, it's going to be closer to 35%.

AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

According to the website, it's no state taxes and 25% federal.

359 * 0.75 = \$269.25 million

Well, if everyone else is going to be pedantic... Capital gains are income. They're just not "ordinary income."

You could park the money in low-risk bonds that you hold to maturity. The interest would be taxed at ordinary income rates (35%).

Or you could get a financial advisor.

I don't usually play the Lotto, but I'll be damned if I'm the only one at work who doesn't pitch in on the group ticket. I would literally have to kill myself.

CSB time:

Back in the late 80's or early 90's, a group of department store employees in California bought a group ticket from the shopping mall kiosk, and won something like \$25M. The sole employee who didn't pitch in (because he was out sick on the day the ticket was purchased) was left high and dry. He stayed on at that department store, and less than six months later when the jackpot got high again, another group of employees from the same department store (who purchased their group ticket at the same kiosk) won it all. He didn't participate that time because he figured that Lotto luck lightning couldn't strike twice.

History never recorded what became of that man.

Honest Bender: According to the website, it's no state taxes and 25% federal.

359 * 0.75 = \$269.25 million

That's what the payor (the lottery) has to withhold on gambling winnings. It's not the payee's tax liability.

Honest Bender: AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

According to the website, it's no state taxes and 25% federal.

359 * 0.75 = \$269.25 million

HB, .. there will be state tax. Those bastards will get their beak wet. In my state anyway. Not sure of other states,.

Honest Bender: CBob: A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Why bother? Stick the ~\$400 million in an account earning 4-5% interest. Sit on your lazy butt and collect \$16-20 million in risk free profit every year.

Where are accounts with these rates being offered? Assuming that the past doesn't qualify as a location.

I bought two dollars worth this morning before the rush hit. As others have said, you can't win if you don't play.

I figure if I win, I'll get enough national attention that Kat Dennings will notice me and want to have nasty, sweaty, grindy sex with me.

/brb

I'm dropping \$10 on it.

Love me long time.

I would really like to set up a massive scholarship fund for my old high school. Something along the lines of the Kalamazoo Promise

The correct answer is...: I don't usually play the Lotto, but I'll be damned if I'm the only one at work who doesn't pitch in on the group ticket. I would literally have to kill myself.

CSB time:

Back in the late 80's or early 90's, a group of department store employees in California bought a group ticket from the shopping mall kiosk, and won something like \$25M. The sole employee who didn't pitch in (because he was out sick on the day the ticket was purchased) was left high and dry. He stayed on at that department store, and less than six months later when the jackpot got high again, another group of employees from the same department store (who purchased their group ticket at the same kiosk) won it all. He didn't participate that time because he figured that Lotto luck lightning couldn't strike twice.

History never recorded what became of that man.

I'd trim this reply for brevity, but I'm on the mobile. Heard about an office pool...always played the same numbers, took turns buying. One guy, in a rush, did quick pick instead of those numbers. The numbers won several million; the ticket buyer had to leave town to escape the death threat from his co-poolers.

The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

I read where some guys in Australia pooled their money together and bought all possible combinations of some lower level lottery (pick 4 or something similar) thinking they'd double their money. The only problem was they forgot that more than 1 person can win and the prize is split between the winners. Something like 8 people had the winning numbers and the guys lost a shiat-load of money.

If I win, there'll be a 2012 Camaro ZL1 up on blocks in front of the double-wide just for fun.

AeAe: HB, .. there will be state tax. Those bastards will get their beak wet. In my state anyway. Not sure of other states,.

Not all states. California doesn't tax lottery winnings, at least those paid by the California lottery. I don't know what happens if you win an out-of-state lottery while a California resident.

Seems to be a good reason to take the whole thing at once - if you move to another state/country, your annual check could get dinged. (the risk of higher federal taxes in the future is another reason)

Despite the negative expected value, I plan to throw \$5 at it too. My entertainment budget for the month can take the hit.

MaxxLarge: Pfffft...As if it matters. I have the winning ticket, so all of you losers don't even need to bother buying one.

Seriously, stay home.

Ha! I bought my tickets before your god like musings....it's all mine, MINE I SAY!

bulldg4life: Show of hands on the people who would look to go halves on a sports team?

Are strippers and coke a 'sports team'? In!

I'd start a no-kill cat shelter, then taunt my ex-gf.

DamnYankees: bulldg4life: Ashtrey: Maybe 4.8 after a 40 % capital gains tax

Where in the hell are you paying 40% capital gains?

If you don't hold it for a certain period of time its taxed as income. Maybe that's what he meant.

I just keep hearing about proposed capital gains taxes up to 40%. I freely admit I pulled all of those numbers directly out of my ass.

But if taxes on interest are lower than my ignorance assumed; my point still stands. Winning ONLY 250 million would be a lot of farking money.

GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Hoo-Boy! Truer words etc. Lemme see now there's the multiple wives and the years of paying rent, can't forget that '78 Oldsmobile (what a turd). Speaking of turds there's that cow manure that was full of weeds that took over last years garden . . . Nearly forgot the used 650 Honda I drove for a night. Then there was that Morgan Stanley fund that tanked the day after I bought in on The Deal That Must Not Be Missed The only thing missin was my greenbacks.
So, yeah \$5.00? Pfft!

Bought 5 bucks worth. Why not?

If I win, first step is to call up some lawyers and set up a blind trust to collect the winnings. No need for every person I have ever met to come asking for money. After that I'll pay off all my debts, buy a home for myself, another one for the parents, and send my sisters through college. Next step would be to invest most of the money in something low risk, and another part in high risk ventures. That's when I start buying ridiculous stuff. Season tickets behind home plate, amazing cars, and a boat made of coke that is full of hookers.

I saw on TMZ where the skater Rob Dyrdek that has that Rediculousness show on MTV bought \$700 worth of tickets.

Me? I'm like "MEH"....I might buy a ticket if it goes to over \$1 billion but only \$500 million is not really worth the half block walk to the conveience store.

That's like...1,000 of 'em

bulldg4life: It would take more than one non-winning draw to get to a billion.

Eh, I dunno. They already had to increase the projection from \$476m to \$500m only a few hours after last night's draw. This is now by far the largest jackpot in history, and it's going to get some press. If no one wins on Friday, it's going to be one of the lead stories on the news, and yeah, I could see it getting to \$1 billion. Even the "lottery is a stupid tax" crowd will spend \$5 for a chance at that much dough.

Guaranteed this is gonna be one of those jackpots that goes to some office pool and we'll hear about the schmuck that called in sick on the day they collected the funds for the tickets. Or the guy that wasn't feeling lucky that day.

wxboy: Kala

Do you guys like laptops?!

Bunnies comes after plaid.

/too obscure?

phrawgh: It's a sure fire bet compared to the expectation of any of us collecting social security, or any of our 401k's being worth a shiat.

/You have to be over 80 to win it anyway.

do you have a 401k? cause mine is up more with obama than 8 years of bush

Nicholas Urfe: That's what the payor (the lottery) has to withhold on gambling winnings. It's not the payee's tax liability.

Ya, I figured that out from other people's posts. Thanks for the heads up. I know less than nothing about tax law.

AeAe: HB, .. there will be state tax.

No state tax on lottery winnings (new window)

you are a puppet: Where are accounts with these rates being offered?

Not at your local BofA or credit union... Talk to a financial adviser.

Driver: If I win, there'll be a 2012 Camaro ZL1 up on blocks in front of the double-wide just for fun.

There was a guy on the local news years ago that trolled the reporters asking people lined up in front of the gas station for tickets (border town next to a non-lottery state) by answering what he'd do with the 20 million or whatever it was..."I'd buy a new skirt for the trailer!"

Honest Bender: Nicholas Urfe: That's what the payor (the lottery) has to withhold on gambling winnings. It's not the payee's tax liability.

Ya, I figured that out from other people's posts. Thanks for the heads up. I know less than nothing about tax law.

AeAe: HB, .. there will be state tax.

No state tax on lottery winnings (new window)

That's for California. Mega Millions is played in 46 states and some of those states tax lottery winnings. Like mine, for example. ..

AeAe: That's for California. Mega Millions is played in 46 states and some of those states tax lottery winnings. Like mine, for example. .

Wait... You don't live in CA? I'm sorry.

Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

200m after taxes? I make 28k/year after taxes. I'd have no damn clue what to do with that kind of money. I'd have a jet in my driveway just for shiats giggles because I could. (Also an account where I live off the interest
forever.)

hey--someone eventually has to win--i buy a buck ticket every so often. what i should do is take the quick pick numbers and pick some numbers that are not on the ticket--probably would be a better chance.

i do know i could finally afford the total fark-dont know if it is worth it, so would only get one month's worth

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Good luck suing me when all my money's dumped into Luxembourg banks, and I gain citizenship buy Uruguay.

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

What you do is you have a lawyer create a 'blind trust'. You get full control of the assets of the trust, i.e., the money, but your identity is kept secret.

but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

Honest Bender: CBob: A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Why bother? Stick the ~\$400 million in an account earning 4-5% interest. Sit on your lazy butt and collect \$16-20 million in risk free profit every year.

Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. I thought the same thing until talking with the Finance Director at the company I work for.

AeAe: tweek46420: namatad: so I am thinking about buying \$100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

Might as well get it during one of my early morning iced tea and skittle runs. I know a shortcut through my neighborhood, so it's not that bad of a walk.

crispyone: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

I read where some guys in Australia pooled their money together and bought all possible combinations of some lower level lottery (pick 4 or something similar) thinking they'd double their money. The only problem was they forgot that more than 1 person can win and the prize is split between the winners. Something like 8 people had the winning numbers and the guys lost a shiat-load of money.

Plus, you have to pay cash, and fill out the tickets by hand, per lottery rules. (This may no longer apply to Illinois). Then you have to sort through a truckload of tickets to find the winner. I think your odds of ending up net positive actually go down if you corner the market :).

One in ten odds suck.

Mixolydian Master: AeAe: tweek46420: namatad: so I am thinking about buying \$100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

Might as well get it during one of my early morning iced tea and skittle runs. I know a shortcut through my neighborhood, so it's not that bad of a walk.

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Then I'd turn around and sue them for everything they're worth. For some reason I think my lawyers might be much better than theirs. And I guess it's a good thing that I haven't wronged many people in my life. Apparently you have a lot to worry about.

crispyone: Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Then I'd turn around and sue them for everything they're worth. For some reason I think my lawyers might be much better than theirs. And I guess it's a good thing that I haven't wronged many people in my life. Apparently you have a lot to worry about.

not to mention...the winner can hire hitmen

To me 500 million (or 250 million after taking the reduced lump sum and paying taxes) is just too much to win, I can't honestly comprehend how much money that is or what could be done with it. I would rather win a million, enough to be comfortable, but not so much that I lose all conception of value in life.

them see me trollin': To me 500 million (or 250 million after taking the reduced lump sum and paying taxes) is just too much to win, I can't honestly comprehend how much money that is or what could be done with it. I would rather win a million, enough to be comfortable, but not so much that I lose all conception of value in life.

Are you serious? With that much money, you can be a philanthropist and really make a difference in people's lives - if that's what you choose to do.

pfft.... fake-ass copycat...

Hmm...

I would pay off every cent of debt (just the mortgage at this point), sell or donate my house and build a new one to specifications, build a new one for mom, my brother and his family, and a few other close family members, and set them all up with low risk investments to live off of.

A cool million each to my closest friends to do with what they will. Divide another few million among a few other deserving friends. I'd have luxury box season tickets to every sport in town, and give away the ones I can't attend to schools, youth organizations, etc. Donate heavily to many valued causes.

Pursue a few dreams, etc.

I wouldn't quit my job though. Lucky enough to actually love it. Would be nice to be able to do it with 'fark you' money in the bank.

Orangutan butlers. Hell, orangutan STRIPPERS. A bounce house for a sofa. A water fountain that spurts Mountain Dew.
Actually that's all I need.

GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Yes. You waste 5 a month ruining fark political threads.

MyRandomName: GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

Yes. You waste 5 a month ruining fark political threads.

LOL

The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

This is probably why it jumped from 467M to 500M in the early morning. someone...or 2 someones may be doing this already.

First things first:

1)verify reality, make sure ticket is real.. double, triple, quaduple, as many times as neccesary to make sure I'm not hallucinating.
1)contact lawyer and accountant, put them on retainer.(luckily I have access to a good pair that have done work for my family for years)
2)claim solid cash chunk, pay off taxes, pay off any debt(almost none)
3)purchase modest local home, trick it out, update it, make it mine(like sub 200k home).
4)work with accountant and lawyer to set up a small trust whose sole purpose is to pay every home related bill.. utilities, taxes, landscaping, pantry stocking, whatever, and make it ironclad, "I can't ever touch that money". Make it just big enough to generate enough interest in a very very ultra safe way. And again, I reiterate, design it so that I can never take that money out. Permanent and irrevocable. This guarantees that no matter what else might happen, me or whoever I want will always have a safe home to live cheaply. (I'm spitballing that 3 million tops is all I would need to set aside for this.)
5)set up five similar trusts for me, mom, 2 brothers and sister, minus the house.. this pays income.. moderate middle class 40ish k a year (my mom can stay in my house, or with a sibling, whatever)
6)I figure at this point I have put about 18 million in irrevocable trusts, and probably have paid my lawyer and accountant very well, say a million each, so far. putting me at about 20million spent.

What do I do with the rest? Start a small business that I enjoy. Buy some health insurance. Explore living in another state, or several. Still a good amount of big land out in the great big West. Get my health in order.

I get so sick of people who are like "yeah if you win it you'll just be broke in 10 years". No dickholes, maybe your white trash ass will be, but not me.

I sound fat: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

This is probably why it jumped from 467M to 500M in the early morning. someone...or 2 someones may be doing this already.

some killer math skills you have there

hobbes0022: When you buy one ticket your chances are 1:170,000,000. But when you be a second your odds instantly double. Based on this math i've purchased 30 tickets.

1\$ = 1:170,000,000
2\$ = 1:85,000,000
3\$ = 1:42,500,000
4\$ = 1:21,750,000
...
30\$ = 1:0.317

I expect to win 3 jackpots, and all the minor prizes. I don't know why no one has figured this out yet.

I lol'ed.

[fordprefect.jpg]

I'll take "highly improbable" for \$1

Hmm. I'd pay off all my debt, and settle an income on my mother so she could retire. I'd fund my kids' college educations and buy the youngest a truck. (He has a car, he wishes he had a truck.) I'd buy myself a number one Barbie. Then I'd take my family on one of those month-long cruises around the Mediterranean. I'd see Pompeii and Herculaneum, and visit Rome. I'd probably buy a slightly bigger house, one with a dining room and a library. And I'd hire a professional genealogist to help me with my family history research. Actually? I'd turn that hobby into my new vocation, and spend the rest of my life compiling biographies of my ancestors, tracking down photographs and seeing the places where they lived.

MAYORBOB: First thing to do with money like that is to buy an island and fall off the grid.

You should try that out first. I've spent time off the grid on beautiful tropical islands.
It gets old...REAL fast.

August11: Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

A very well-off guy I know was legally prevented from setting up a nonprofit foundation by the state because he would be the only source of funds to the foundation. Might be more to the story but that was how it was presented. Kind of sad because it would have been the first research foundation of its kind. I guess the rule is there to prevent fraud.

neongoats: Explore living in another state, or several.

An XX for you, sir!

I'm playing the following numbers:

1 2 3 4 5 (6)

Of course, the odds of those numbers being drawn are identical to the odds of any any particular set of numbers being drawn (e.g. 12 18 29 31 43 (22)). I just want to be the guy who played [1:6].

0Icky0: neongoats: Explore living in another state, or several.

An XX for you, sir!

heh, "state" could be nation state too. I don't care, my point was just that that kind of money leaves plenty of room for some "smart play it safe" future planning, and still plenty of money to piss away.

you are a puppet: Honest Bender: CBob: A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Why bother? Stick the ~\$400 million in an account earning 4-5% interest. Sit on your lazy butt and collect \$16-20 million in risk free profit every year.

Where are accounts with these rates being offered? Assuming that the past doesn't qualify as a location.

The location is wherever the hell you are. If you have \$400million of uninvested cash, the banks come to YOU.

neongoats: 3)purchase modest local home, trick it out, update it, make it mine(like sub 200k home).

Purchase old nuclear missile silo. Outfit it with real nuclear missile. Demand \$100 million dollars!!!!

GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted \$5 in far dumber ways before.

I'm in full agreement. Bought 2 today and might get a couple more tomorrow and then a few more Friday.

All from different places, \$1 at each.

All I want to know is, how the hell would you even be able to LOOK at the winning ticket if you had it?

I sure as hell would be so damned terrified that it would spontaneously combust, or the ink would fall off, or my dog would eat it...

Arcturus72: ver wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Even those you didn't wrong. I hate to say it, I'm sure as hell never posting on Fark again if I did win.

sforce: That's too much for any one person so I'm here to give you all the winning numbers:

22-23-31-44-53 MB 17

I'm going to need 5% from everyone, I live in a non Megamillions state.

Just for grins, I'll play those.
Gave you a special color in my favs to help me track you down in the event that the Force is with me.

WxGuy1: I'm playing the following numbers:

1 2 3 4 5 (6)

Of course, the odds of those numbers being drawn are identical to the odds of any any particular set of numbers being drawn (e.g. 12 18 29 31 43 (22)). I just want to be the guy who played [1:6].

Actully since those numbers are not random you're more likely to split a jackpot with a lot of people, thats why i wouldn't pick them

kim jong-un: Arcturus72: ver wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Even those you didn't wrong. I hate to say it, I'm sure as hell never posting on Fark again if I did win.

I think my posting on Fark would get out of control in a hurry.

Anyone willing to buy a ticket for me, since I'm not States-side and so am unable to get one myself? Tell you what, I'll make a deal with you. If the ticket wins the jackpot, just give me 5 million dollars of the winnings and you can keep the rest for your trouble and kindness. Sound fair?

/what?

The first thing I would do it put an end to that heinous kitten juggling! ...Plus I know a guy that needs some help getting the seats reupholstered in his Cessna.

Some people have really modest dreams. I saw one guy on Yahoo post that if he won, he'd wear a new pair of socks every day for the rest of his life. Imagine that being your dream.
Hell, if I won, I'd never wear PANTS again, let alone socks.

bulldg4life: So, I'll take the \$247,710,000 that I would get in Georgia...

Give me the \$47m+ to blow on anything I can think of...I'll invest \$200m in a nice medium risk fund getting 8% and I'll have a solid \$1.6b when I'm 50.

It would be great to see someone's name on the Forbes list that under "source of wealth" just says "lucky bastard".

Instead of spending \$10 on lunch today, I will buy 2 chicken sandwiches at McDonald's for \$2. Then spend the other \$8 on Lotto tickets. I cut my calories and get a chance at winning big bux. A win, win.

AeAe: tweek46420: namatad: so I am thinking about buying \$100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

but don't charge them.

Federal withholdings are 25%.

State withholdings are as follows:

California - None
Georgia - 6%
Illinois - 3%
Maryland - 7.75%
Massachusetts - 5%
Michigan - 4.35%
New Jersey - None
New York - 6.85% State/4.648% NYC/0.685% Yonkers
Ohio - 6%
Texas - None
Virginia - 4%
Washington - None

source: lotteryuniverse.com

Patronick313: Federal withholdings are 25%.

State withholdings are as follows:

I assume the withholdings are based on the state where the ticket was sold - anyone know for sure? Otherwise, since you usually have 180/365 days to claim the prize, if you bought the winning ticket in some place like Taxachusetts, it seems like it could potentially be worth several million dollars to move to some place with no state lotto tax like California, establish residency, and THEN claim your winnings.

/and the lulz of the world not knowing for weeks/months who won \$500 million, speculating on whether ticket was thrown out by accident, etc, would be fun too

redly1: I sound fat: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

This is probably why it jumped from 467M to 500M in the early morning. someone...or 2 someones may be doing this already.

some killer math skills you have there

yeah, but that's a good way to get burned by multiple winners. Two people win and you're only break even. If three people win you're farked.

mavexe: redly1: I sound fat: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

This is probably why it jumped from 467M to 500M in the early morning. someone...or 2 someones may be doing this already.

some killer math skills you have there

yeah, but that's a good way to get burned by multiple winners. Two people win and you're only break even. If three people win you're farked.

But what are the chances that another person would win????

Put up a lot of billboards along I75 in Florida.

"That Mega Church Preacher that is promising you Heaven? All he wants is your \$\$\$\$\$."

Then show a guy in suit with a big smile on his face, standing with a new Mercedes in a church parking lot.

But what are the chances that another person would win????

176,000,000:1

Could be a lot less, depending on how many others have this evil plan.

Id give my wife 55% and say bye!

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Lets see them try seizing my assests after battling the Rancor.

jat26006: mavexe: redly1: I sound fat: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

This is probably why it jumped from 467M to 500M in the early morning. someone...or 2 someones may be doing this already.

some killer math skills you have there

yeah, but that's a good way to get burned by multiple winners. Two people win and you're only break even. If three people win you're farked.

But what are the chances that another person would win????

It always seems that when the jackpots get above 300m, there are multiple winners more often than not. It's just a matter of so many people playing, the chances of multiple winners go up significantly, assuming a random distribution of number picks.

If your curious about what the actual payout would be after federal and state taxes, there's a website that breaks it down for each state:

Of course this is just the initial payout, not the full tax liability. If you buy the ticket out of your state of residence, the final taxes ends up pretty much being the higher state tax of where the ticket was purchased or your state of residence.

/Played \$10 because why the hell not

NeoCortex42: If your curious about what the actual payout would be after federal and state taxes, there's a website that breaks it down for each state:

Of course this is just the initial payout, not the full tax liability. If you buy the ticket out of your state of residence, the final taxes ends up pretty much being the higher state tax of where the ticket was purchased or your state of residence.

/Played \$10 because why the hell not

If you live near to a state with a radically lower state income tax (like as in a state without one) buy your ticket in that state and if you win change your residency to that state before going to the lotto office to collect.

Winning

Oldiron_79:
If you live near to a state with a radically lower state income tax (like as in a state without one) buy your ticket in that state and if you win change your residency to that state before going to the lotto office to collect.

Winning

I couldn't imagine having the winning ticket just sitting around while I wait for residency of a new state to take effect. I'll be paranoid of something happening to it. Plus, until it was actually verified, I probably wouldn't even believe it was real.

Oldiron_79: NeoCortex42: If your curious about what the actual payout would be after federal and state taxes, there's a website that breaks it down for each state:

Of course this is just the initial payout, not the full tax liability. If you buy the ticket out of your state of residence, the final taxes ends up pretty much being the higher state tax of where the ticket was purchased or your state of residence.

/Played \$10 because why the hell not

If you live near to a state with a radically lower state income tax (like as in a state without one) buy your ticket in that state and if you win change your residency to that state before going to the lotto office to collect.

Winning

I don't think you can change state residency that easily. I seem to recall it takes 1 year or 1 tax cycle to become a resident of a state. At the very least you have to be a partial year resident.

I figure \$10 for a chance at \$500 million is worth it. \$20 million a year for almost thirty years could solve a lot of problems =)

I'd be really surprised if a jackpot of this size isn't won by 4-5 separate tickets, with at least one of them being a large office pool. Of course, I said that before Tuesday's drawing and not a single ticket won. It sure would be interesting if only one person one the jackpot, just to see where they are five or ten years down the road.

Bought twenty
day dreams alone are worth it

AeAe: Oldiron_79: NeoCortex42: If your curious about what the actual payout would be after federal and state taxes, there's a website that breaks it down for each state:

Of course this is just the initial payout, not the full tax liability. If you buy the ticket out of your state of residence, the final taxes ends up pretty much being the higher state tax of where the ticket was purchased or your state of residence.

/Played \$10 because why the hell not

If you live near to a state with a radically lower state income tax (like as in a state without one) buy your ticket in that state and if you win change your residency to that state before going to the lotto office to collect.

Winning

I don't think you can change state residency that easily. I seem to recall it takes 1 year or 1 tax cycle to become a resident of a state. At the very least you have to be a partial year resident.

I'm pretty sure it only takes 90 days to change residency(at least in the states that don't have like the highest of the high income tax rates ), and you have 180 days to claim your prize, so its actually a fairly reasonable plan if you have the patience to wait 90 days to tell everyone you don't care about to go pound sand.

Personally I already live in a no state income tax state so I'm already good to go, Just have to drive like 175 mi to the state capital to pick it up if I win.

Show_The_O_Face: Id give my wife 55% and say bye!

That's a friend of mine's plan.

His reasoning, which is totally sound, logical, and correct, is:

Look, this is a lot of farking money. You're not going to like the person that I become with access to all this money. Let's split this now, we'll go our separate ways, and I'll will what's left of the money to the kids, because I don't expect to survive the next 5 years.

The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

Well, if you did buy them all, you'd have invested \$176 million to earn about \$305 million before taxes (present value and all). Gambling losses are allowed to be deducted against gambling winnings so you'd walk away with what, \$77 million profit?

(assuming you didn't split the pot).

AlwaysRightBoy: dustman81: I threw my \$5 into the office pool. If it hits, you'll never see my fatass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with my new friends.

AlwaysRightBoy: I'm thinking it will go to \$6 million by Friday night, but who knows.

I was on the train this morning going to work and there was this guy sitting in front of me who had at least 20 copies that probably had ten \$5 tickets on each from the last drawing. He was going thru all of the numbers without a pen or pencil for the full hour.

/Obviously an office pool but some of these people are hardcore

I guess we have it easy in Ohio. Here, all we have to do is go to a lottery seller and scan the tickets. If one is a winner, it'll let you know.

You can scan 8.5x11 copies there?

We have machines everywhere in Manhattan that will let you scan the originals yourself, but not office copies.
//Are you going to trust the guy with the originals without copies? We make sure all the people paying into it have their names on the copies

We had a contract in our office pool that included the ticket IDs as part of the document.

August11: Ok. Just to remind everyone. There is only one way to proceed if you win.

1. Create a 501c3 charitable foundation with the money.
2. Make yourself CEO of foundation with a yearly salary of \$180,000.
3. Spend the rest of your life wisely giving worthy causes money.
4. If you cannot seem to live a good life on that salary, then you should die.
5. Live a good life.

Actually, I'm suprised there isn't one 'best' solution on how to handle winning the lottery. A trust fund or something seeems to make sense, from here Link (new window) only some set up organizations. ("won by MAIM Revocable Trust", P1 Gold Lottery Club) I wonder why that's not universal. I suppose someone could look those up to see what type of organization they are.

Can that organization then invest the money and gain returns? Could you pass CEO of that org on to children in a will/company charter to avoid the tax for ammounts over \$250,000?

Next is do you take the lump sum or cash payout? I guess that decision would depend on if you plan to make 12%, 8%, 4% or nothing on your money. I always thought a 4% CD should be attainable, I guess they are currently 1%. Is there a limit you can put into CD's? or a chance you could ruin a bank (if you had 10 million in a 15% CD from 1975, I'm sure they would hate you today). Maybe they don't roll over at the same rate they were perchased. What's a realistic safe investment for those large sums?

Thorazine: Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. I thought the same thing until talking with the Finance Director at the company I work for.

The estimated jackpot has been increased to \$540 million with the recent surge in sales

although at this point....what's an extra \$40 million?

I'm gonna wait till it's 7 trillion.
Then I can pay it all to Obama if I win. And help our economy.

Ok, I did some math, and counting the 4% increase in annuity payments: it looks like you would have to get better than 8.6% return on any investments for the lump sum to work out. I don't think you can balance a portfollio and expect a guaranteed 8% return.

So what type of org should the winning ticket be claimed by, a superpac?

I threw \$2 into the office pool.

On the less-likely-than-being-struck-by-lightning chance I win, I would do the following:

2. Buy a new, mid-priced car with plenty of cargo space.
3. Invest everything else and spend the rest of my life pretending to be middle class.
4. Except for a big donation to my university, so I can get a building named after me.

I seem to recall one of these threads from a few years back, and there were the usual "hookers and blow" suggestions, but then there were a few that stuck with me. The one that I always remember though, and have sworn to do should I ever win big, is to buy myself an Extra Large Cooper.

Ok, above numbers are bad. The 4% increase in annuity payments is for power ball (new window)not Megamillions.

It was also based on this page (new window)where cash value was 58.7% of the advertised jackpot. The current 389M of 540M is 72%.

With those corrected, you need to get a guaranteed 3.3%* or better return on money to take the cash option. *after taxes, or 5% with (.35 federal+.10state) on the capitol gains income tax. You won't find a Guaranteed 5% return. A balanced portfolio might approach that.

Now, 501(c)3, trust fund, or some type of corporation?

Now, 501(c)3, or trust fund, or some type of

TruBluTroll: Extra Large Cooper

Found it, from 2007.

extra-large cooper. (new window)

I'm going to bet it all on Sebulba!

jso2897: Some people have really modest dreams. I saw one guy on Yahoo post that if he won, he'd wear a new pair of socks every day for the rest of his life. Imagine that being your dream.
Hell, if I won, I'd never wear PANTS again, let alone socks.

The kilt thread was a few days ago

craxyd: sforce: That's too much for any one person so I'm here to give you all the winning numbers:

22-23-31-44-53 MB 17

I'm going to need 5% from everyone, I live in a non Megamillions state.

Just for grins, I'll play those.
Gave you a special color in my favs to help me track you down in the event that the Force is with me.

Oh don't worry I won't let you forget.

I always join the office pool, I don't want to be the one shlub left here who has to hire and train everyone.

I'd buy a Scrooge McDuck costume and swim in the shiat!

Just kidding. I'd leave my job so fast, my office chair would still be spinning for a couple of weeks.

At this point, what's \$5 for a shot at \$250M after all the taxes and whatnot.

These threads are awesome, the entertainment is well worth the \$0 invested in smugness.

When I win I will change the world.

Just checked their website, still at \$540,000,000

jso2897: Some people have really modest dreams. I saw one guy on Yahoo post that if he won, he'd wear a new pair of socks every day for the rest of his life. Imagine that being your dream.
Hell, if I won, I'd never wear PANTS again, let alone socks.

Wow... I've been telling people that (the new socks thing) for years and never met anyone who understood. Pretty funny!

/\$5 in the office pool...

TheGogmagog: Next is do you take the lump sum or cash payout?

State laws play a role in that decision also.

If I have the winning ticket, I'm paying for a stint at Betty Ford for some lucky FARKer and beer for the losers.

/did I get that right?

I'd also like to find a '70 Challenger convertible, like the one my neighbor had for sale in 1982 and I couldn't afford. No Ferrari or Rolls for this girl.

Hmm... 176 million to 1 odds. Put 27 pennies in a jar. Thoroughly shake the jar. Pour the pennies out on a table.

The odds of all 27 of them showing heads is about 134 million to one. Don't be blowing the rent money on tickets. You're not going to win.

I hope Jack Whittaker wins again.

A good friend of mine, back in Texas, said if he won the lottery, he wouldn't quit his job; just do as little as possible, and see how long it takes to fire him. That's pretty neat.

Me' I'd buy a strip club (or two).

Not be a dick like this guy. (new window)

iToad: Hmm... 176 million to 1 odds. Put 27 pennies in a jar. Thoroughly shake the jar. Pour the pennies out on a table.

The odds of all 27 of them showing heads is about 134 million to one.

Ha ha..but I'm betting on tails!

Annuity jackpot now up to \$640,000,000. Lump sum is \$462,000,000.

That's a lot of socks.

sforce: That's too much for any one person so I'm here to give you all the winning numbers:

22-23-31-44-53 MB 17

I'm going to need 5% from everyone, I live in a non Megamillions state.

You lied!

craxyd: sforce: That's too much for any one person so I'm here to give you all the winning numbers:

22-23-31-44-53 MB 17

I'm going to need 5% from everyone, I live in a non Megamillions state.

You lied!

They're the winning numbers to something, I didn't specify this necessarily. Keep trying, they'll work out somewhere.

sforce: craxyd: sforce: That's too much for any one person so I'm here to give you all the winning numbers:

22-23-31-44-53 MB 17

I'm going to need 5% from everyone, I live in a non Megamillions state.

You lied!

They're the winning numbers to something, I didn't specify this necessarily. Keep trying, they'll work out somewhere.

I see what you did there

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