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(LA Times)   The Mega Millions jackpot has reached a record $500 million as of 12pm today and with two days to go before Friday nights drawing, things are bound to go full crazy   (latimesblogs.latimes.com) divider line 229
    More: Obvious  
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5021 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2012 at 10:36 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-28 11:27:29 PM  
Well, if everyone else is going to be pedantic... Capital gains are income. They're just not "ordinary income."

You could park the money in low-risk bonds that you hold to maturity. The interest would be taxed at ordinary income rates (35%).

Or you could get a financial advisor.
 
2012-03-28 11:28:16 PM  
I don't usually play the Lotto, but I'll be damned if I'm the only one at work who doesn't pitch in on the group ticket. I would literally have to kill myself.

CSB time:

Back in the late 80's or early 90's, a group of department store employees in California bought a group ticket from the shopping mall kiosk, and won something like $25M. The sole employee who didn't pitch in (because he was out sick on the day the ticket was purchased) was left high and dry. He stayed on at that department store, and less than six months later when the jackpot got high again, another group of employees from the same department store (who purchased their group ticket at the same kiosk) won it all. He didn't participate that time because he figured that Lotto luck lightning couldn't strike twice.

History never recorded what became of that man.
 
2012-03-28 11:28:52 PM  

Honest Bender: According to the website, it's no state taxes and 25% federal.

359 * 0.75 = $269.25 million


That's what the payor (the lottery) has to withhold on gambling winnings. It's not the payee's tax liability.
 
2012-03-28 11:29:55 PM  

Honest Bender: AeAe: The cash annuity option is 359 million. After federal and state taxes, that's down to 179 million.

not even worth it.

According to the website, it's no state taxes and 25% federal.

359 * 0.75 = $269.25 million


HB, .. there will be state tax. Those bastards will get their beak wet. In my state anyway. Not sure of other states,.
 
2012-03-28 11:30:05 PM  

Honest Bender: CBob: A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Why bother? Stick the ~$400 million in an account earning 4-5% interest. Sit on your lazy butt and collect $16-20 million in risk free profit every year.


Where are accounts with these rates being offered? Assuming that the past doesn't qualify as a location.
 
2012-03-28 11:30:09 PM  
I bought two dollars worth this morning before the rush hit. As others have said, you can't win if you don't play.

I figure if I win, I'll get enough national attention that Kat Dennings will notice me and want to have nasty, sweaty, grindy sex with me.

/brb
 
2012-03-28 11:31:44 PM  
I'm dropping $10 on it.

Love me long time.
 
2012-03-28 11:34:05 PM  
I would really like to set up a massive scholarship fund for my old high school. Something along the lines of the Kalamazoo Promise
 
2012-03-28 11:35:04 PM  

The correct answer is...: I don't usually play the Lotto, but I'll be damned if I'm the only one at work who doesn't pitch in on the group ticket. I would literally have to kill myself.

CSB time:

Back in the late 80's or early 90's, a group of department store employees in California bought a group ticket from the shopping mall kiosk, and won something like $25M. The sole employee who didn't pitch in (because he was out sick on the day the ticket was purchased) was left high and dry. He stayed on at that department store, and less than six months later when the jackpot got high again, another group of employees from the same department store (who purchased their group ticket at the same kiosk) won it all. He didn't participate that time because he figured that Lotto luck lightning couldn't strike twice.

History never recorded what became of that man.


I'd trim this reply for brevity, but I'm on the mobile. Heard about an office pool...always played the same numbers, took turns buying. One guy, in a rush, did quick pick instead of those numbers. The numbers won several million; the ticket buyer had to leave town to escape the death threat from his co-poolers.
 
2012-03-28 11:38:20 PM  

The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?


I read where some guys in Australia pooled their money together and bought all possible combinations of some lower level lottery (pick 4 or something similar) thinking they'd double their money. The only problem was they forgot that more than 1 person can win and the prize is split between the winners. Something like 8 people had the winning numbers and the guys lost a shiat-load of money.
 
2012-03-28 11:39:27 PM  
If I win, there'll be a 2012 Camaro ZL1 up on blocks in front of the double-wide just for fun.
 
2012-03-28 11:40:38 PM  

AeAe: HB, .. there will be state tax. Those bastards will get their beak wet. In my state anyway. Not sure of other states,.


Not all states. California doesn't tax lottery winnings, at least those paid by the California lottery. I don't know what happens if you win an out-of-state lottery while a California resident.

Seems to be a good reason to take the whole thing at once - if you move to another state/country, your annual check could get dinged. (the risk of higher federal taxes in the future is another reason)
 
2012-03-28 11:41:35 PM  
Despite the negative expected value, I plan to throw $5 at it too. My entertainment budget for the month can take the hit.
 
2012-03-28 11:41:46 PM  

MaxxLarge: Pfffft...As if it matters. I have the winning ticket, so all of you losers don't even need to bother buying one.

Seriously, stay home.


Ha! I bought my tickets before your god like musings....it's all mine, MINE I SAY!
 
2012-03-28 11:43:03 PM  

bulldg4life: Show of hands on the people who would look to go halves on a sports team?


Are strippers and coke a 'sports team'? In!
 
2012-03-28 11:43:12 PM  
I'd start a no-kill cat shelter, then taunt my ex-gf.
 
2012-03-28 11:44:00 PM  

DamnYankees: bulldg4life: Ashtrey: Maybe 4.8 after a 40 % capital gains tax

Where in the hell are you paying 40% capital gains?

If you don't hold it for a certain period of time its taxed as income. Maybe that's what he meant.


I just keep hearing about proposed capital gains taxes up to 40%. I freely admit I pulled all of those numbers directly out of my ass.

But if taxes on interest are lower than my ignorance assumed; my point still stands. Winning ONLY 250 million would be a lot of farking money.
 
2012-03-28 11:46:07 PM  

GAT_00: I bought 5. Might get some more tomorrow. I'm not dumb enough to expect to win, it's just fun to imagine what I could do with all of it, and you can't win if you don't play.

Besides, I've wasted $5 in far dumber ways before.


Hoo-Boy! Truer words etc. Lemme see now there's the multiple wives and the years of paying rent, can't forget that '78 Oldsmobile (what a turd). Speaking of turds there's that cow manure that was full of weeds that took over last years garden . . . Nearly forgot the used 650 Honda I drove for a night. Then there was that Morgan Stanley fund that tanked the day after I bought in on The Deal That Must Not Be Missed The only thing missin was my greenbacks.
So, yeah $5.00? Pfft!
 
2012-03-28 11:46:23 PM  
Bought 5 bucks worth. Why not?

If I win, first step is to call up some lawyers and set up a blind trust to collect the winnings. No need for every person I have ever met to come asking for money. After that I'll pay off all my debts, buy a home for myself, another one for the parents, and send my sisters through college. Next step would be to invest most of the money in something low risk, and another part in high risk ventures. That's when I start buying ridiculous stuff. Season tickets behind home plate, amazing cars, and a boat made of coke that is full of hookers.
 
2012-03-28 11:46:55 PM  
I saw on TMZ where the skater Rob Dyrdek that has that Rediculousness show on MTV bought $700 worth of tickets.

Me? I'm like "MEH"....I might buy a ticket if it goes to over $1 billion but only $500 million is not really worth the half block walk to the conveience store.
 
2012-03-28 11:50:10 PM  
www.taylorbrooks.org
That's like...1,000 of 'em
 
2012-03-28 11:51:22 PM  

bulldg4life: It would take more than one non-winning draw to get to a billion.


Eh, I dunno. They already had to increase the projection from $476m to $500m only a few hours after last night's draw. This is now by far the largest jackpot in history, and it's going to get some press. If no one wins on Friday, it's going to be one of the lead stories on the news, and yeah, I could see it getting to $1 billion. Even the "lottery is a stupid tax" crowd will spend $5 for a chance at that much dough.
 
2012-03-28 11:54:14 PM  
Guaranteed this is gonna be one of those jackpots that goes to some office pool and we'll hear about the schmuck that called in sick on the day they collected the funds for the tickets. Or the guy that wasn't feeling lucky that day.
 
2012-03-28 11:54:15 PM  

wxboy: Kala


images.nymag.com

Do you guys like laptops?!
 
2012-03-28 11:58:22 PM  
lh4.googleusercontent.com
Bunnies comes after plaid.


/too obscure?
 
2012-03-28 11:59:10 PM  

phrawgh: It's a sure fire bet compared to the expectation of any of us collecting social security, or any of our 401k's being worth a shiat.

/You have to be over 80 to win it anyway.


do you have a 401k? cause mine is up more with obama than 8 years of bush
 
2012-03-29 12:00:26 AM  

Nicholas Urfe: That's what the payor (the lottery) has to withhold on gambling winnings. It's not the payee's tax liability.


Ya, I figured that out from other people's posts. Thanks for the heads up. I know less than nothing about tax law.

AeAe: HB, .. there will be state tax.


No state tax on lottery winnings (new window)

you are a puppet: Where are accounts with these rates being offered?


Not at your local BofA or credit union... Talk to a financial adviser.
 
2012-03-29 12:06:18 AM  

Driver: If I win, there'll be a 2012 Camaro ZL1 up on blocks in front of the double-wide just for fun.


There was a guy on the local news years ago that trolled the reporters asking people lined up in front of the gas station for tickets (border town next to a non-lottery state) by answering what he'd do with the 20 million or whatever it was..."I'd buy a new skirt for the trailer!"
 
2012-03-29 12:08:37 AM  

Honest Bender: Nicholas Urfe: That's what the payor (the lottery) has to withhold on gambling winnings. It's not the payee's tax liability.

Ya, I figured that out from other people's posts. Thanks for the heads up. I know less than nothing about tax law.

AeAe: HB, .. there will be state tax.

No state tax on lottery winnings (new window)


That's for California. Mega Millions is played in 46 states and some of those states tax lottery winnings. Like mine, for example. ..
 
2012-03-29 12:11:11 AM  

AeAe: That's for California. Mega Millions is played in 46 states and some of those states tax lottery winnings. Like mine, for example. .


Wait... You don't live in CA? I'm sorry.
 
2012-03-29 12:11:19 AM  
Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...
 
2012-03-29 12:11:46 AM  
200m after taxes? I make 28k/year after taxes. I'd have no damn clue what to do with that kind of money. I'd have a jet in my driveway just for shiats giggles because I could. (Also an account where I live off the interest
forever.)
 
2012-03-29 12:16:19 AM  
hey--someone eventually has to win--i buy a buck ticket every so often. what i should do is take the quick pick numbers and pick some numbers that are not on the ticket--probably would be a better chance.

i do know i could finally afford the total fark-dont know if it is worth it, so would only get one month's worth
 
2012-03-29 12:16:49 AM  

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...


Good luck suing me when all my money's dumped into Luxembourg banks, and I gain citizenship buy Uruguay.
 
2012-03-29 12:18:12 AM  

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...


What you do is you have a lawyer create a 'blind trust'. You get full control of the assets of the trust, i.e., the money, but your identity is kept secret.
 
2012-03-29 12:19:12 AM  

namatad: so I am thinking about buying $100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

/sad but true


you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do
 
2012-03-29 12:20:20 AM  

tweek46420: namatad: so I am thinking about buying $100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

/sad but true

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do


buy your tickets really early then. And wear a hoodie.
 
2012-03-29 12:21:04 AM  

Honest Bender: CBob: A little hard work and you could turn that into some real money there.

Why bother? Stick the ~$400 million in an account earning 4-5% interest. Sit on your lazy butt and collect $16-20 million in risk free profit every year.


Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. I thought the same thing until talking with the Finance Director at the company I work for.
 
2012-03-29 12:21:15 AM  

AeAe: tweek46420: namatad: so I am thinking about buying $100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

/sad but true

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

buy your tickets really early then. And wear a hoodie.


Might as well get it during one of my early morning iced tea and skittle runs. I know a shortcut through my neighborhood, so it's not that bad of a walk.
 
2012-03-29 12:22:09 AM  

crispyone: The Onion is prophetic: The odds of winning are 176,000,000 to one. Therefore, I just need to buy 176,000,000 tickets, and I'm guaranteed to triple my money!

/farkin' probability, how does it work?

I read where some guys in Australia pooled their money together and bought all possible combinations of some lower level lottery (pick 4 or something similar) thinking they'd double their money. The only problem was they forgot that more than 1 person can win and the prize is split between the winners. Something like 8 people had the winning numbers and the guys lost a shiat-load of money.


Plus, you have to pay cash, and fill out the tickets by hand, per lottery rules. (This may no longer apply to Illinois). Then you have to sort through a truckload of tickets to find the winner. I think your odds of ending up net positive actually go down if you corner the market :).
 
2012-03-29 12:23:02 AM  
One in ten odds suck.
 
2012-03-29 12:25:04 AM  

Mixolydian Master: AeAe: tweek46420: namatad: so I am thinking about buying $100 worth. I can easily afford the 100.
but
I am so embarrassed that I will have to go down at like 4am to buy them so no one else sees me buying the tickets.

/sad but true

you can't buy them that late....they shut the machines down after 12.....at least in MN they do

buy your tickets really early then. And wear a hoodie.

Might as well get it during one of my early morning iced tea and skittle runs. I know a shortcut through my neighborhood, so it's not that bad of a walk.


verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-29 12:27:19 AM  

Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...


Then I'd turn around and sue them for everything they're worth. For some reason I think my lawyers might be much better than theirs. And I guess it's a good thing that I haven't wronged many people in my life. Apparently you have a lot to worry about.
 
2012-03-29 12:37:28 AM  

crispyone: Arcturus72: Meh... I'd thought about not playing this thing for one simple reason:

Most lotteries REQUIRE you to give your full name in order to receive the jackpot. This lets the lotto people "prove that real people are playing and winning"...

And if you don't think EVERY stinking idiot you ever wronged in your life won't be looking you up, trying to sue you for "their cut" of the money, I'll have a bridge to sell you...

Then I'd turn around and sue them for everything they're worth. For some reason I think my lawyers might be much better than theirs. And I guess it's a good thing that I haven't wronged many people in my life. Apparently you have a lot to worry about.


not to mention...the winner can hire hitmen
 
2012-03-29 12:50:58 AM  
Why does every lottery thread start with gamblers trying to rationalize their actions?
 
2012-03-29 12:58:43 AM  
To me 500 million (or 250 million after taking the reduced lump sum and paying taxes) is just too much to win, I can't honestly comprehend how much money that is or what could be done with it. I would rather win a million, enough to be comfortable, but not so much that I lose all conception of value in life.
 
2012-03-29 01:04:09 AM  

them see me trollin': To me 500 million (or 250 million after taking the reduced lump sum and paying taxes) is just too much to win, I can't honestly comprehend how much money that is or what could be done with it. I would rather win a million, enough to be comfortable, but not so much that I lose all conception of value in life.


Are you serious? With that much money, you can be a philanthropist and really make a difference in people's lives - if that's what you choose to do.
 
2012-03-29 01:04:52 AM  

ultraholland: [adscam.typepad.com image 539x297]


pfft.... fake-ass copycat...

www.innerwestlive.com.au
 
2012-03-29 01:14:17 AM  
Hmm...

I would pay off every cent of debt (just the mortgage at this point), sell or donate my house and build a new one to specifications, build a new one for mom, my brother and his family, and a few other close family members, and set them all up with low risk investments to live off of.

A cool million each to my closest friends to do with what they will. Divide another few million among a few other deserving friends. I'd have luxury box season tickets to every sport in town, and give away the ones I can't attend to schools, youth organizations, etc. Donate heavily to many valued causes.

Pursue a few dreams, etc.

I wouldn't quit my job though. Lucky enough to actually love it. Would be nice to be able to do it with 'fark you' money in the bank.
 
2012-03-29 01:57:52 AM  
Orangutan butlers. Hell, orangutan STRIPPERS. A bounce house for a sofa. A water fountain that spurts Mountain Dew.
Actually that's all I need.
 
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