Lame headline is lame, should've rhymed something

What was stolen? Was it a goose? Was it a moose? Was it hanging from a noose?

Or something along those lines.

You suck, submitter

Probably walked off on his own accord when he heard how much his 'new' movie sucked.

I'm half expecting another roaming gnome type thing here

enjoy the included Sriracha Sauce packet sparingly ----
it is very spicy!

Asked whether local law enforcement intended to pursue the matter, spokesperson simply replied "Unless".

Police are looking for someone who has a heat tens times too small or something.

Snark aside, farking savages!

did horton hear anything?

kvinesknows: did horton hear anything?

Why not go there and find out

kvinesknows: did horton hear anything?

a who?

Richelieu: Asked whether local law enforcement intended to pursue the matter, spokesperson simply replied "Unless".

Done...and done. This is perfection.

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I do not like your headline subby.
It's full of fail, and you sound chubby.

Would you have liked it in a book?
or if you read it on your Nook?

From there to here,
from here to there
the lorax statue isnt anywhere?

Special place in hell...

Gricklegrass? Gricklegrass? Someone lifted the Lorax away?

Jon iz teh kewl: kvinesknows: did horton hear anything?

Why not go there and find out
[gregpike.ca image 640x427]

+1 for Jon iz teh kewl for throwing in the Tim Hortons reference

LoneWolf343: Special place in hell...

You must've submitted this with a better headline, I'm guessing.

I hope he threw his back out
that steaming pile of pooh
stealing the Lorax statute
what a terrible thing to do.

I suspect the Lorax is taking a world tour vacation.

The whole rap was a setup. Everything is the cops' fault. You don't put guys like that in a room together. Who knows what can happen?

They drilled us all night. Somebody was pissed about that Lorax getting knocked off and the cops had nothing. They were hoping somebody would slip. Give them something to go on. They knew we wouldn't fight it because they knew how to lean on us. They'd been doing it forever. Our rights went right out the window. It was a violation. I mean disgraceful.

They went after Thing One first. He was a good guy. Crazy though. A top notch entry man .

Thing Two always worked with Thing One. He was a real tight-ass, but when it came to the job, he was right on. Smart guy. A gopher. Got whatever you needed for next to nothing.

Horton was just a bad bastard. Good with explosives. Mean as a snake when it mattered.

The Grinch was the real prize for them, for obvious reasons.

And that was how it began. The five of us brought in on a trumped-up charge to be leaned on by half-wits. What the cops never figured out, and what I know now, was that these men would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody. .. Anybody.

It was a Star Belly Sneetch with the help of the pale green pants with nobody inside them.

shanrick: whoa whoa whoa, stop the clock.

Zero...point....zero.....

Eons ago, in time internet
A young man had an adventure he would never forget
The Sackler, at the time in the nude
(who, being a Farker, you'd expect to be crude)
Sat down at his laptop, taking the air
In Drew Curtis' realm, sitting upon his chair
But what he thought was his seat
Was in reality The Nadthrashler, looking to eat
So while the Sackler browsed foobies and cats
The Nadthrashler awaited, with its devilish slats
Disguised as a chair, its prey held rapt
The Nadtrashler struck, and the Sackler's nuts were trapped
"Help" cried he, as his terror flared
The Sackler typed desperately, "I am so very scared"
The Farkers arrived, all humor and scorn
Doubting the Sackler, and bringing their popcorn
"But wait" cried the Sackler, "I have evidence"
And a photo was uploaded that made all present wince

Now how he escaped I cannot be sure
For nothing is hazier than internet lore
The Nadthrashler took a scrotum to rend
But the Sackler, with courage, met a fortunate end
For those with more daring than I
Who wish to hear about peril to nutsacks that would make grown men cry
You may bring two arcade tokens, some Cheetohs and a Fleshlight
To the mysterious Sackler, who will tell you all about that terrible night

It obviously lifted itself up by the tail and flew away, duh.

mrlewish:

I suspect the Lorax is taking a world tour vacation.

Oh, the places he'll go?

What a load of crap. Weeds has been a hit show on Showtime for years and I still have yet to catch a misinformed punk stealing them from my front lawn!

maxheck: mrlewish:

I suspect the Lorax is taking a world tour vacation.

Oh, the places he'll go?

and the things that he may experience if he doesn't blow it...

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Digitalstrange: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I do not like your headline subby.
It's full of fail, and you sound chubby.

Would you have liked it in a book?
or if you read it on your Nook?

No! Not in a book or on my Nook!
I do not like this headline spam!
It's not that funny, and butthurt I am!

Could you like it in the paper?
Perhaps if rewritten by Don Draper?

cgraves67: LoneWolf343: Special place in hell...

You must've submitted this with a better headline, I'm guessing.

Submitted with a better headline, I did not,
but I must confess, I covet subby's spot.

LoneWolf343

Special place in hell...

You're mad the poor stole from the rich? Where's your 99% rage?

Golf clap, Cagey, well done.

What was this statue?
And why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere from the far end of town where the Geisel-lass lives?

Polaroids released of Lorax statue hanging out at Grand Canyon and various other US tourist spots in 3...2...1...

Wanted for questioning?

It may be a prank, or a petty act of greed,
Or a PR stunt, though I can't see the need.
But my gut tells me this, like Stephen Colbert,
the new Lorax movie is the source of this affair.

With it's watered-down message and it's bastardized plot,
it's a big-business, anti-green, ruination mandelbrot.

The boy in the movie is seeking the trees,
because he wants his girlfriend to get on her knees,
The Once-ler is now a victim, seduced by one new,
The greed and consumption brought about by just a few.

Instead of the truth, that we all share the guilt,
of the consumption and greed that made forests wilt,
the blame lies entirely on Aloysius O'Hare,
who keeps the trees dead to sell bottled fresh air.

It's the fundamental lie that we all tell ourselves,
the lie that we tell to put our guilt off on shelves,
the lie that we keep to hide from our greed,
that we are the Oncelers, we make the thneeds.

The thieves of this statue who took it away,
if thieves there were, for I cannot say,
merely remind us we all are responsible,
and a toxified world is entirely possible.



/hotlink'd

Subby called in that suckage on the Whi-Sperm-a-Phone.

Hot like a grickle grass fire.

Helter skelter, he's in the smelter.

mb it picked itself up and carried itself away, after seeing how bad the story was murdered by the movie.

Sitting in some billionaire's trophy room by now... on fire.

missmez: Came for the goldigging whore commemts. Beyond disappointed.

This is the woman who carried on a blatant affair with Geisel while his wife lay gravely ill, causing her to commit suicide. Fark her.

And she sold the rights of his works to the studios so they could make crap movies and an idiot theme park. Thank goodness Bill Watterson still hasn't sold out.