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(Wonkette)   Ladies & Gentlemen I present to your left a review and links to the hot new magazine "Conservative Teen" & to your right a column of "wtfamireading. jpg" pics   (wonkette.com) divider line 330
    More: Asinine, TCT, Fox Business News, Fun Fun Fun, Media Research Center, culture wars, Abercrombie, invasion of Iraq, George Mason  
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8716 clicks; posted to Politics » on 26 Mar 2012 at 6:12 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-26 04:17:38 PM  
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. "Why abstinence works". WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?
 
2012-03-26 04:22:51 PM  

Modguy: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. "Why abstinence works". WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?


Abstinence does work. Right up until it doesn't.
 
2012-03-26 04:24:27 PM  
That's fantastic.
 
2012-03-26 04:27:09 PM  

Hobodeluxe: Modguy: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. "Why abstinence works". WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?

Abstinence does work. Right up until it doesn't.


Know what's crazy? Condoms are the best of birth worlds. You get the awesome protection of abstinence whenever your dick is in your pants, and then, as soon as abstinence becomes less effective, condoms step in! It's like a weird safety net.
 
2012-03-26 04:30:06 PM  

kingoomieiii: Know what's crazy? Condoms are the best of birth worlds.


Intentional?
 
2012-03-26 04:32:44 PM  

Chariset: kingoomieiii: Know what's crazy? Condoms are the best of birth worlds.

Intentional?


Hah, nope. Freudian typing.
 
2012-03-26 04:36:08 PM  

kingoomieiii: Hobodeluxe: Modguy: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. "Why abstinence works". WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?

Abstinence does work. Right up until it doesn't.

Know what's crazy? Condoms are the best of birth worlds. You get the awesome protection of abstinence whenever your dick is in your pants, and then, as soon as abstinence becomes less effective, condoms step in! It's like a weird safety net.


sticking it in the butt also works.

and doesn't require the admission, by acquisition of a condom, that you may, someday, sin.
 
2012-03-26 04:41:59 PM  
The coverkids make a fine bright and shiny couple. And with the Duggar's guidance and Mr Bozell's blessing they will populate the empty steppes clear to the Urals.
 
2012-03-26 04:46:45 PM  
I anticipate dozens of subscriptions for this magazine.
 
2012-03-26 04:49:08 PM  
Love it.
 
2012-03-26 04:50:06 PM  
You know when I was a youth, we had these magazines that we used to read. Time. US News and World Reports. Forbes. National Review. When I got a little older I started reading Foreign Policy. Atlantic Monthly. Ethics and Global Policy.

Not frickin' a slightly DERPier version of Highlights...
 
2012-03-26 04:59:06 PM  

hubiestubert: You know when I was a youth, we had these magazines that we used to read. Time. US News and World Reports. Forbes. National Review. When I got a little older I started reading Foreign Policy. Atlantic Monthly. Ethics and Global Policy.

Not frickin' a slightly DERPier version of Highlights...


I knew I had you Favorited for a reason.
 
2012-03-26 05:02:29 PM  

hubiestubert: You know when I was a youth, we had these magazines that we used to read. Time. US News and World Reports. Forbes. National Review. When I got a little older I started reading Foreign Policy. Atlantic Monthly. Ethics and Global Policy.

Not frickin' a slightly DERPier version of Highlights...


Highlights For Childlike?
 
2012-03-26 05:08:01 PM  
Perfect for gag subscriptions to all my friends.
 
2012-03-26 05:08:16 PM  
I see it's hosted at LongBoys.net. Hee.
 
2012-03-26 05:09:53 PM  
What kind of good conservative gives things away for free? That's not how the market works, something smells fishy here, and it's not just Nancy Pelosi's crotch.
 
2012-03-26 05:14:18 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com



Hobodeluxe
:
Abstinence does work. Right up until it doesn't.

 
2012-03-26 05:31:14 PM  

keithgabryelski: kingoomieiii: Hobodeluxe: Modguy: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. "Why abstinence works". WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?

Abstinence does work. Right up until it doesn't.

Know what's crazy? Condoms are the best of birth worlds. You get the awesome protection of abstinence whenever your dick is in your pants, and then, as soon as abstinence becomes less effective, condoms step in! It's like a weird safety net.

sticking it in the butt also works.

and doesn't require the admission, by acquisition of a condom, that you may, someday, sin.


Plus, you can get teh AIDS or other wonderful STDs!
 
2012-03-26 05:31:26 PM  
Just clicked through the entire magazine. That was truly breathtaking.
 
2012-03-26 05:32:37 PM  

hubiestubert: You know when I was a youth, we had these magazines that we used to read. Time. US News and World Reports. Forbes. National Review. When I got a little older I started reading Foreign Policy. Atlantic Monthly. Ethics and Global Policy.

Not frickin' a slightly DERPier version of Highlights...


When I was a kid, I read Newsweek. But, then again, Newsweek was actually good 30 years ago.
 
2012-03-26 05:34:15 PM  
Getting more and more cult-like every goddamn day.
 
2012-03-26 05:35:55 PM  
i40.tinypic.com

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.
 
2012-03-26 05:37:39 PM  

Modguy: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. "Why abstinence works". WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?


What? Abstinence, by definition, works. Abstinence education, on the other hand, doesn't. Since, you know, people don't actually abstain. But heaven forbid we teach kids what to do when they don't.
 
2012-03-26 05:39:38 PM  

vartian: [i40.tinypic.com image 430x261]

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.


What in the hell...?
 
2012-03-26 05:41:01 PM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: vartian: [i40.tinypic.com image 430x261]

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.

What in the hell...?


Page 12.
 
2012-03-26 05:41:33 PM  
I can't wait until next month's article: "Fair, flat and cut. Which alternative federal tax structure is right for you? Take the quiz!"

Teens eat that sort of shat up.
 
2012-03-26 05:44:54 PM  

vartian: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: vartian: [i40.tinypic.com image 430x261]

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.

What in the hell...?

Page 12.


I like how that explanation of how the US government came into being leaves out anything that isn't British or very narrowly defined Christianity.

Nothing like selective history teaching to make new, misinformed Conservatives.
 
2012-03-26 05:45:20 PM  

vartian: [i40.tinypic.com image 430x261]

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.


Ha ha ha! You see, freedom isn't free. And the soldier paid for with his life! LOL... OMG *wipes tear from eye*.

Well, it isn't funny if you have to explain it.
 
2012-03-26 05:52:18 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Getting more and more cult-like every goddamn day.


What kills me, is that is exactly the mentality. Nothing can be introduced that is in conflict with that particular world view. Anything that does conflict HAS to be the work of the godless Liberals. Even if it happens to be other Republicans and Conservatives, they aren't REAL Conservatives if they don't follow that particular mindset, and if they don't follow it, they're just SHEEP for the Liberal Media, Godless Communists, Evil Socialists, Trade Unionists, or Lying Feminazis, or whatever appellation is popular that week. It ALL, of course, ties in with the CONSPIRACY to subvert GOOD AMERICAN VALUES with LIES.

If you don't follow their views, you're a dupe for the conspiracy, and if you do, then you're a FREETHINKER.

It is pretty gottverdammt disgusting to watch, because they wave a flag in front of all this tripe and try to call it freedom.

Freedom to put on blinders. Freedom to subvert nation and party. Freedom to hand over any actual thought on issues. Freedom to submit. It is the exact opposite of any sort of Conservatism as I was taught, and it is the exact opposite of any good Republicanism as I was taught, but then again, good Conservatives and actual thinkers are being actively discouraged at this point...
 
2012-03-26 05:58:45 PM  

hubiestubert: Lando Lincoln: Getting more and more cult-like every goddamn day.

What kills me, is that is exactly the mentality. Nothing can be introduced that is in conflict with that particular world view. Anything that does conflict HAS to be the work of the godless Liberals. Even if it happens to be other Republicans and Conservatives, they aren't REAL Conservatives if they don't follow that particular mindset, and if they don't follow it, they're just SHEEP for the Liberal Media, Godless Communists, Evil Socialists, Trade Unionists, or Lying Feminazis, or whatever appellation is popular that week. It ALL, of course, ties in with the CONSPIRACY to subvert GOOD AMERICAN VALUES with LIES.

If you don't follow their views, you're a dupe for the conspiracy, and if you do, then you're a FREETHINKER.

It is pretty gottverdammt disgusting to watch, because they wave a flag in front of all this tripe and try to call it freedom.

Freedom to put on blinders. Freedom to subvert nation and party. Freedom to hand over any actual thought on issues. Freedom to submit. It is the exact opposite of any sort of Conservatism as I was taught, and it is the exact opposite of any good Republicanism as I was taught, but then again, good Conservatives and actual thinkers are being actively discouraged at this point...


I don't know what to tell you, other than:

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
 
2012-03-26 06:01:51 PM  
If you pay extra, it comes pre-moistened with angry spittle.
 
2012-03-26 06:02:38 PM  
Today I learned that Reagan was our first black president.
 
2012-03-26 06:06:22 PM  
But "Twink" has been around for ages.
 
2012-03-26 06:09:06 PM  
Personally, I loved how they compared themselves to the Lord of the Rings on page 9. The whole section is gold!
 
2012-03-26 06:13:00 PM  
The next article, "An Oscar Take On The Culture War," argues that Oscar-winning films Ben-Hur, Titanic WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JAMES CAMERON and The Lords of the Rings: The Return of the King "nicely capture America as it was and as it is

wait, what was that about the Lord of the Rings!?

ok, did Gingrich forge the One Ring or something?
 
2012-03-26 06:16:56 PM  

Weaver95: The next article, "An Oscar Take On The Culture War," argues that Oscar-winning films Ben-Hur, Titanic WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JAMES CAMERON and The Lords of the Rings: The Return of the King "nicely capture America as it was and as it is

wait, what was that about the Lord of the Rings!?

ok, did Gingrich forge the One Ring or something?


What is it with Conservatives and their hard-on for comparing themselves to LotR?
 
2012-03-26 06:17:23 PM  

vartian: [i40.tinypic.com image 430x261]

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.


I only laughed because it unintentionally looks like one tombstone apparently holds all the dead U.S. soliders. Must be a really deep hole.
 
2012-03-26 06:18:44 PM  
Lunatics.
 
2012-03-26 06:19:09 PM  
Reminds me of that Mr. Show sketch.

No Adults Allowed
 
2012-03-26 06:19:53 PM  
Funny how most of the "conservative" teens from high school end up becoming hippies in college.
 
2012-03-26 06:19:59 PM  

Weaver95: The next article, "An Oscar Take On The Culture War," argues that Oscar-winning films Ben-Hur, Titanic WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JAMES CAMERON and The Lords of the Rings: The Return of the King "nicely capture America as it was and as it is

wait, what was that about the Lord of the Rings!?

ok, did Gingrich forge the One Ring or something?


It's about being better than "those people"
 
2012-03-26 06:20:25 PM  

vartian:
Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.



Pretend you just bought a ton of oil futures.
 
2012-03-26 06:20:56 PM  
images.zap2it.com

Unavailable for comment.
 
2012-03-26 06:21:45 PM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: vartian: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: vartian: [i40.tinypic.com image 430x261]

Must be more of that Conservative Humor I don't get.

What in the hell...?

Page 12.

I like how that explanation of how the US government came into being leaves out anything that isn't British or very narrowly defined Christianity.

Nothing like selective history teaching to make new, misinformed Conservatives.


And of course slavery is never mentioned.
 
2012-03-26 06:22:28 PM  

Humean_Nature: Just clicked through the entire magazine. That was truly breathtaking.


I haven't made it past the table of contents yet. I collapsed in a giggling mess when I saw

Making Sense
Ronald Reagan: Our First Black President?
by Michael Reagan
 
2012-03-26 06:22:40 PM  
When I saw that cover I seriously expected the date to read Winter 1987, not Winter 2011.

FFS. If Best Korea is perpetually stuck in the 1950s then conservatives seem to be perpetually stuck in the 1980s.
 
2012-03-26 06:22:41 PM  
The vast majority of people will have sex at some time during their lives.


And we call those people sluts if they don't have a penis.

/penis
 
2012-03-26 06:23:20 PM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: What is it with Conservatives and their hard-on for comparing themselves to LotR?


well...most of the GOP are kind of like a real life version of the Urik-Hai.
 
2012-03-26 06:23:34 PM  
histclo.com
 
2012-03-26 06:23:56 PM  

Humean_Nature: Just clicked through the entire magazine. That was truly breathtaking.


images.wikia.com
 
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