Futuristic Alien Robot Turtles

Mugato: I think what everyone, namely Michael Bay is missing the point on is that the title is a kitschy sort of absurd premise that came from an indie B/W comic book. He seems to be trying to give it some sort of sci-fi back-story that makes sense in his generic Bay-verse. He just doesn't get it, is the point.

But their back story is already perfect. And sci-fi. Alien brains with metal exo-skeletons from another planet. And triceratons in gladiator battles! Fugitive robots! What's not to like?

sure haven't: 2) TMNT is an absurd premise, no matter which iteration you're talking about. Get over it.

Yes, the premise is absurd...but it is spelled out: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. To change or drop any of that is to create a new premise from which you start.

UNC_Samurai: A shot of the storyboard inside the studio:

[i982.photobucket.com image 320x244]

I think we may be soul mates. I'll start saving up for your sex change.

PizzaJedi81: sure haven't: 2) TMNT is an absurd premise, no matter which iteration you're talking about. Get over it.

Yes, the premise is absurd...but it is spelled out: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. To change or drop any of that is to create a new premise from which you start.

That's true, I understand the reasoning, I just don't understand the outcry. I guess there's something to be said for nostalgia, no matter what it is. Changing Strawberry Shortcake to something like Banana Bread would probably make my sister go WTF.

/still looking forward to Bay's version

No no, the Princess Bride remake will totally be a Judd Apatow production starring Will Ferrell as Westley and Ben Stiller as Inigo Montoya.

I dont plan on seeing this, and I not all butthurt or anything, but yeah, changing the premise is stupid. If they are aliens they are no longer turtles, they could be mutants but the story would need to show how they are different from everyone else on their home planet. They arent teenagers surely, and if they arent from earth they arent ninjas either, even if they learned a comparable martial arts skill on their home planet. So yeah, if he wants to do that he should change the name completely. or just make a movie with whatever premise he wants and stop pretending it has anything to do with an old comic series.

I saw the first press release and stopped caring. Everyone else should as well if you dont like it. Saw one transformers movie, that was enough. I did laugh the entire time though, but i guess that wasnt his intention

Too bad they haven't omitted the one thing that could make this movie better; Michael Bay. Might as well let Uwe Boll direct it.

moothemagiccow: JUST DONT SEE THE MOVIE

GOD

You're preaching to the choir here. It's not gonna stop the millions of dopes from going to see this piece of shiat.

And you know they're gonna market the hell out of this towards kids who have little or no appreciation for the true origins of the turtles. And they will force their parents to drag them along to go see this pile of dreck. And the circle will be complete, the 'mutant' portion of TMNT retconned into oblivion.

ThatBillmanGuy: No no, the Princess Bride remake will totally be a Judd Apatow production starring Will Ferrell as Westley and Ben Stiller Seth Rogen as Inigo Montoya.



ftfy


you said it was an Apatow film...

Kredal: Cythraul: Middle-Aged Alien Ninja Turtles.

Maybe he'll turn them all into robots too, instead of martial arts experts. Or better, yet, some sort of paramilitary commandos.

Middle-Aged Alien Robot Turtles

Middle-Aged Alien Commando Turtles

You're thinking too limited... They shouldn't even be turtles anymore...

Middle-aged Alien Commando Rabbits! Perfect! Then he doesn't even have to license the TMNT likenesses or anything!

Adolescent Radioactive Black-Belt Hamsters! No, wait. It's been done (new window).

Confabulat: Naming them after Renaissance artists feels too cerebral for today's audiences.

I'm envisioning Ice-D, R-Dog, Mickey, and Sloop.

Led by master Poochy.

Thosw: Kredal: Cythraul: Middle-Aged Alien Ninja Turtles.

Maybe he'll turn them all into robots too, instead of martial arts experts. Or better, yet, some sort of paramilitary commandos.

Middle-Aged Alien Robot Turtles

Middle-Aged Alien Commando Turtles

You're thinking too limited... They shouldn't even be turtles anymore...

Middle-aged Alien Commando Rabbits! Perfect! Then he doesn't even have to license the TMNT likenesses or anything!

Adolescent Radioactive Black-Belt Hamsters! No, wait. It's been done (new window).

Still have my first issue of it! It might be worth almost $5 now!

Geriatric Spray-Tanned Lawnmower repairing Ferrets?

germ78: And you know they're gonna market the hell out of this towards kids who have little or no appreciation for the true origins of the turtles. And they will force their parents to drag them along to go see this pile of dreck. And the circle will be complete, the 'mutant' portion of TMNT retconned into oblivion.

And you know why they're doing it? Because George Lucas got away with it, so why not?

/grumble

So ...they look like humanoid turtles ...but are from space?

I'm guessing this whole thing is a gag ...(please don't correct me, I would rather live in ignorance)

Pre Teen Dirty Gene Kung Fu Kangaroos!
Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters!!!

Damn you Thosw!!!

Cythraul: Middle-Aged Alien Commando Turtles

I don't think I want to see Michael Bay's take on anything that goes commando. Explosions near the junk hurt.

Everybody chill the fark out, Michael Bay got this.

(new window)

CravenMorehead: Too bad they haven't omitted the one thing that could make this movie better; Michael Bay. Might as well let Uwe Boll direct it.

It might've been good with Boll. He could've thrown in a scene with a gay white guy doing blackface with a fat vampire together mocking a scene from the movie Precious, except this time he could switch out the vampire for Shredder or something.

In a world... where nothing is as you remember it... the Septuagenarian Interplanetary Combative Anapsids are led by their hystricomorphic master, TimberChip, in a life or coma struggle against the relatively-unkind overlord SafetyGrater!

First he scrapped the "Mutant" part
Now he's scrapping the "Teenage" part
Next will be "Ninja" Instead he's going to make them cyborgs
Finally, he will ditch the whole turtle aspect and just make them robots.

April O'Neil will not be featured in the movie, but Casey Jones will. Only his name is going to be something more common, like Sam, and he will be played by Shia LeBaouf, and instead of being a rough vigilante, Jones will be a whiny douchebag who still lives with his comically awkward parents.

Michael Bay is a member of the foot clan. He's that punk b***h Danny

Sooner or later they won't even be turtles...

texdent: Mentat: Are they still ninjas?

By the time Bay gets done, they probably won't even be turtles.

if they are aliens they really arent turtles even if they resemble terrestrial turtles so now all they gotta do to totally fark it up is make them Samurai and act like there is no difference in that and being ninja.

As of now they are the :

Indeterminate-aged alien ninja bipedal amphibians

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Michael Bay: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Digitalstrange: texdent: Mentat: Are they still ninjas?

By the time Bay gets done, they probably won't even be turtles.

if they are aliens they really arent turtles even if they resemble terrestrial turtles so now all they gotta do to totally fark it up is make them Samurai and act like there is no difference in that and being ninja.

As of now they are the :

Indeterminate-aged alien ninja bipedal amphibians

what now they are frogs too?

The characters will be known as: Those Aliens Impersonating Ninja Turtles.

/TAINT Power!

Digitalstrange: amphibians

This part bugged me a lot in the cartoons. Even as a kid, you learn in what, first or second grade, that turtles are reptiles, not amphibians. How did they screw that up, for so long?

New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Movie Checklist
by Michael Bay

[ ] Teenage
[ ] Mutant
[ ] Ninja
[ ] Turtles

moothemagiccow: JUST DONT SEE THE MOVIE

GOD

It's not just that we can ignore the bad movies he make...he steals from society (thanks to "Imaginary Property" laws) by preventing *good* movies from being made of the same subjects. Transformers has been ruined now; no one can make a *good* Transformers series of movies because Bay is sitting on the rights to them. Sure, maybe in thirty or forty years someone might be allowed to make new Transformers movies, but by then it will be too late since the generation that grew up with them will be too old. The same thing is about to happen to the Turtles.

Making bad movies about copyrightable entities prevents good movies from being made about them.

Rednaxel: I dont plan on seeing this, and I not all butthurt or anything, but yeah, changing the premise is stupid. If they are aliens they are no longer turtles, they could be mutants but the story would need to show how they are different from everyone else on their home planet. They arent teenagers surely, and if they arent from earth they arent ninjas either, even if they learned a comparable martial arts skill on their home planet. So yeah, if he wants to do that he should change the name completely. or just make a movie with whatever premise he wants and stop pretending it has anything to do with an old comic series.

But that defeats the purpose of using a nostalgic comic, TV show, movie, etc name to lure in fans. He can say right up front all the damage hes going to do, but people will still go to see it, even if just to see how bad hes killed it.

Want him to stop? Then stop going to see his movies, buying the DVDs, renting the movies, etc. Dont give him a farking dime.

Ill prob watch it when it hits regular cable, maybe pay-per-view if it looks cool.

/Havnt paid to see a movie in the theater since Iron Man.

//The upcoming not-Aliens not-prequel thing will likely be the next.

Xenomech: New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Movie Checklist

Strike out the Ninja, too. IIRC, you can't get a PG equivalent rating in the UK if you use the term "ninja" (or even shuriken in the movie). Therefor in Europe they were the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.

Leave it to disgustingly nanny UK to ban the word ninja, lol.

Why stop there? Turtles? Screw that, naaah, they're tortoises. And Ninjas? fark NINJAS! They b pirrrrrrrrrrrates now. What a farkup this thing seems.

Early Adult Alien Pirate Tortoises is all right, I suppose. Lacks pizazz, tho.

FTFA: "you'd want to get rid of Teenage too, for scansion as much as anything else"

Props for using a great word, but it's not the correct word in this case. Scansion is the analysis of verse or meter into its patterns. The word Teenage might be removed to improve the actual accent or rhythm of the phrase, not to improve the analysis of it. Thus I would write "for prosody as much as anything else", not scansion.

Also, keep in mind... Bay is only producing.
The director is going to be the guy from Battle Los Angeles.

and they feel like they're okay going this direction because they have the unlucky half of the co-creators on board.

Xenomech: moothemagiccow:
It's not just that we can ignore the bad movies he make...he steals from society (thanks to "Imaginary Property" laws) by preventing *good* movies from being made of the same subjects. Transformers has been ruined now; no one can make a *good* Transformers series of movies because Bay is sitting on the rights to them. Sure, maybe in thirty or forty years someone might be allowed to make new Transformers movies, but by then it will be too late since the generation that grew up with them will be too old. The same thing is about to happen to the Turtles.

Making bad movies about copyrightable entities prevents good movies from being made about them.

The more I think about this, the more I'm ok with Bay taking these IP's. He doesn't own the concepts behind them, just the tradmarkable names and etc.
This should force those who have a good idea to actually do their own work to make new and interesting properties.

Creatively, we have become lazy. It's time to create again. Use what we have existing and create new worlds making the old ones look quaint by comparison.

That all being said, if Bay EVER get's his hands on Pratchett's material, I'd weep for society.

FeedTheCollapse: ThatBillmanGuy: No no, the Princess Bride remake will totally be a Judd Apatow production starring Will Ferrell as Westley and Ben Stiller Seth Rogen as Inigo Montoya.



ftfy


you said it was an Apatow film...

Nah, just to fark with us, they'll be casting Michael Cera as Westley.

pion: FeedTheCollapse: ThatBillmanGuy: No no, the Princess Bride remake will totally be a Judd Apatow production starring Will Ferrell as Westley and Ben Stiller Seth Rogen as Inigo Montoya.



ftfy


you said it was an Apatow film...

Nah, just to fark with us, they'll be casting Michael Cera as Westley.

Will Ferrell would be Fezzik.
Michael Cera as Westley
Seth Rogen as Inigo
Ellen Page as Buttercup
Ben Stiller as Prince Humperdink
Jonah Hill as Vizzini

Sultan Of Herf: Rednaxel: I dont plan on seeing this, and I not all butthurt or anything, but yeah, changing the premise is stupid. If they are aliens they are no longer turtles, they could be mutants but the story would need to show how they are different from everyone else on their home planet. They arent teenagers surely, and if they arent from earth they arent ninjas either, even if they learned a comparable martial arts skill on their home planet. So yeah, if he wants to do that he should change the name completely. or just make a movie with whatever premise he wants and stop pretending it has anything to do with an old comic series.

But that defeats the purpose of using a nostalgic comic, TV show, movie, etc name to lure in fans. He can say right up front all the damage hes going to do, but people will still go to see it, even if just to see how bad hes killed it.

Want him to stop? Then stop going to see his movies, buying the DVDs, renting the movies, etc. Dont give him a farking dime.

Ill prob watch it when it hits regular cable, maybe pay-per-view if it looks cool.

/Havnt paid to see a movie in the theater since Iron Man.

//The upcoming not-Aliens not-prequel thing will likely be the next.

Dont worry, I wont. The only Bay movie I have ever paid to see was the first transformers, and it convinced me not to see anything else he has done since. Maybe, just maybe, I will watch this when it comes on netflix, but probably not.