Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Raw Story)   How are your supplies of bottled water and ammo these days? Mysterious disease literally turning thousands of children in Uganda into zombies, and not only is there no cure, but they aren't even sure of the CAUSE yet   (rawstory.com) divider line 152
    More: Scary, Uganda, cure  
•       •       •

28063 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2012 at 3:26 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



152 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-03-25 10:50:07 PM  
Yes, lets headshot the starving black children.
 
2012-03-25 11:36:05 PM  
Uganda? Probably caused by teh sekrit gheys.
 
2012-03-25 11:41:03 PM  
It's because you stopped sending your ten cents a day and got that coffee instead, you selfish cock.
 
2012-03-25 11:42:58 PM  
Corpses are not the same as zombies, subby.

And it's amoebas. All the other weird brain diseases in Africa are amoebas. This is just another.
 
2012-03-25 11:44:53 PM  

gameshowhost: It's because you stopped sending your ten cents a day and got that coffee instead, you selfish cock.


They have bootstraps!

/if they were bootstrappy enough to have boots, that is
 
2012-03-25 11:47:20 PM  

gameshowhost: It's because you stopped sending your ten cents a day and got that coffee instead, you selfish cock.


Sally Struthers, you give me that cake!
 
2012-03-25 11:50:25 PM  
This is why I give money to Doctors Without Borders.
 
2012-03-25 11:57:49 PM  
So the T-Virus is real?
 
2012-03-26 12:00:16 AM  
Zombie trifecta in play.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-03-26 12:05:20 AM  
We've known the cause for almost 15 years now.

Worcestershire sauce.
 
2012-03-26 12:14:47 AM  
Everyone who has appeared on Doomsday Preppers is getting very, very excited.
 
2012-03-26 12:16:58 AM  
rlv.zcache.ca
 
2012-03-26 12:24:37 AM  
There's gotta be a decent profession out there for someone who can't help simply nodding all the time AND who can be tied to a desk willingly...

/RTFA
 
2012-03-26 12:39:08 AM  
Hasa Diga Eebowai.
 
2012-03-26 12:51:45 AM  

Paris1127: So the T-Virus is real?


African Rabies.
 
2012-03-26 01:18:45 AM  
Man, that story gave me a huge sad. What a shiatty, shiatty world we live in.
 
2012-03-26 03:32:51 AM  
There's gotta be a decent profession out there for someone who can't help simply nodding all the time AND who can be tied to a desk willingly...

Freshman Republican House member?
 
2012-03-26 03:33:00 AM  
We're only one mutation away from the zombie apocalypse.
 
2012-03-26 03:33:09 AM  
nodding to see here. move along.
 
2012-03-26 03:39:19 AM  
Children having seizures from some sort of disease doesn't equal the zombie apocalypse,subby. Poor kids though,seizures are terrible and if you've never seen a tonic-clonic seizure it will scare the hell out of you.

/Jesus someone give them some anti epileptic drugs or something even farking phenobarbital.
 
2012-03-26 03:41:23 AM  
The problem with Africa is it's basically a big Petrie dish and there's no telling what may come festering out of there next. And if anyone has any idea how we can bring the place up to current medical standard without a full scale invasion, I'd really like to know.
 
2012-03-26 03:41:37 AM  

doglover: Corpses are not the same as zombies, subby.

And it's amoebas. All the other weird brain diseases in Africa are amoebas. This is just another.


Close, the CDC is seeing a correlation between nodding syndrome and Onchocerciasis parasitic infection. It's Nasty worm that causes a variety of problems including river blindness and is spread by black fly bites.
It might be a combination of severe malnutrition and worm infection; if the infected has nothing for the worms to feed on in their blood they'll migrate to where the food is, the Brain.
 
2012-03-26 03:43:35 AM  

A Terrible Human: /Jesus someone give them some anti epileptic drugs or something even farking phenobarbital.


The article say the local doctors have tried that, but they don't help much.
 
2012-03-26 03:44:06 AM  
We are already infected
 
2012-03-26 03:44:59 AM  
www.blackpoolgrand.co.uk
/terrible, sad story over there in Uganda.
 
2012-03-26 03:45:40 AM  
Before reading the story, the headline was funny.
After reading the story, the headline was not funny.
 
2012-03-26 03:49:21 AM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: Yes, lets headshot the starving black children.


Sounds like a perfect job for someone named Mr. Zimmerman. He can do what he likes and benefit society as well

/going to hell
//sad story on both accounts
 
2012-03-26 03:49:47 AM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: Yes, lets headshot the starving black children.

Only if you claim self defense.
 
2012-03-26 03:50:27 AM  

geoduck42: The article say the local doctors have tried that, but they don't help much.


That's just depressing because the more seizures these kids have the more brain damage they'll get. If they go into staticus epilepticus they'll die if the meds aren't doing anything. A constant seizure,essentially was SE is, isn't compatible with life.
 
2012-03-26 03:51:22 AM  
That sounds pretty damned awful. I may have missed it, but was there anything about how fast this is spreading, or is it something that is strictly localized? If it's only hitting children, I suppose that would suppress the spread. Conjecturing...
 
2012-03-26 03:51:49 AM  

MessyDwarf: omnibus_necanda_sunt: Yes, lets headshot the starving black children.
Only if you claim self defense.


problembear.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-26 03:52:44 AM  
Black people problems.
 
2012-03-26 03:53:46 AM  
api.ning.com

There's one of them now!
 
2012-03-26 03:56:59 AM  
Si now Kony has a zombie child Army?
 
2012-03-26 03:57:40 AM  
Republicans?
 
2012-03-26 03:58:48 AM  
Whatever. It's not like we've ever seen a horrific infectious disease come out of Africa.
 
2012-03-26 03:58:50 AM  
Remember: double tap.
 
2012-03-26 03:59:01 AM  

gameshowhost: It's because you stopped sending your ten cents a day and got that coffee instead, you selfish cock.


Where are you getting cups of coffee for ten cents? I got like $50 in change, and no need to sleep for a week.
 
2012-03-26 03:59:56 AM  
The official Ugandan Minister of Health claimed that you can pray away HIV/AIDS, so I'm sure this will all be over in a couple of rosaries as long as you don't eat da poo poo.
 
2012-03-26 04:00:31 AM  
China sent us contaminated wallboard, lead paint toys and dog food that was poisoned so if they got a food shipment from China i would be very suspicious.
 
2012-03-26 04:02:06 AM  
If they didn't want to get this disease, they wouldn't wear hoodies.
 
2012-03-26 04:02:35 AM  
Jesus Christ, don't bring that shiat home with you.
 
2012-03-26 04:03:31 AM  
I have this mental image of Kony laughing maniacally and pressing a big red button marked "PROJECT X".
 
2012-03-26 04:04:34 AM  

MessyDwarf: omnibus_necanda_sunt: Yes, lets headshot the starving black children.
Only if you claim self defense.


anwserman: omnibus_necanda_sunt: Yes, lets headshot the starving black children.

Sounds like a perfect job for someone named Mr. Zimmerman. He can do what he likes and benefit society as well

/going to hell
//sad story on both accounts


See, we could have sent all those Patriots Super Bowl Champs hoodies to Uganda...

/one ticket
//dammit
 
2012-03-26 04:04:50 AM  

A Terrible Human: Children having seizures from some sort of disease doesn't equal the zombie apocalypse,subby. Poor kids though,seizures are terrible and if you've never seen a tonic-clonic seizure it will scare the hell out of you.

/Jesus someone give them some anti epileptic drugs or something even farking phenobarbital.


Yeah, what a shiatty sensationalistic headline. I'm pretty sure I've seen this on another website like a week ago.

It's not subby's fault so much as the article's writer.
 
2012-03-26 04:08:25 AM  
Uganda eh? I'm blaming this on Invisible Children.

FTFA: First the victims become restless, can't concentrate. They say they have trouble thinking. Then comes the nodding, an uncontrollable dipping of the head that presages the disease's debilitating epilepsy-like seizures.

I don't know. Sounds like what every kid at my school experienced in Mr. Woodrow's Civics class.

Currently, Ugandan government officials say that they are doing everything they can to fight the epidemic.

Yeah, I imagine they make poor child soldiers.
 
2012-03-26 04:09:09 AM  

Kurmudgeon: The problem with Africa is it's basically a big Petrie dish and there's no telling what may come festering out of there next. And if anyone has any idea how we can bring the place up to current medical standard without a full scale invasion, I'd really like to know.


Install Russian dictators and german officials in all the countries.

Then wait 2-3 generations and slowly introduce them to democracy.
 
2012-03-26 04:09:19 AM  
Horrible diseases! Just what Africa needed more of! Awwwwww mother nature you're so sweet!
 
2012-03-26 04:11:07 AM  
His name was trayvon martin...brainnnnnnssssss....racissssssmmmmmm.....
 
2012-03-26 04:11:39 AM  
Kony 2012
 
2012-03-26 04:13:14 AM  
It's because they keep eating the poo poo!.

Ryker's Peninsula: The official Ugandan Minister of Health claimed that you can pray away HIV/AIDS, so I'm sure this will all be over in a couple of rosaries as long as you don't eat da poo poo.


I think I'm gonna go cry in a corner, and listen to Morrisey while I'm at it.
 
2012-03-26 04:16:05 AM  

Zoomaster: Republicans?


Impossible; there are no black Republicans.
 
2012-03-26 04:16:52 AM  
I didn't know aids makes zombies. Oh well. I'm just waiting for white people to get blamed.
 
2012-03-26 04:17:09 AM  

Jadedgrl: Remember: double tap.


Lol
 
2012-03-26 04:17:29 AM  
files.myopera.com

/GARY JOHNSON 2012
 
2012-03-26 04:18:52 AM  

Kurmudgeon: The problem with Africa is it's basically a big Petrie dish and there's no telling what may come festering out of there next. And if anyone has any idea how we can bring the place up to current medical standard without a full scale invasion, I'd really like to know.


I don't think there is enough money in the entire world to bring the whole of Africa to first world standards. But I am confident that the disease that will eventually wipe out the entire human race will begin in Africa.

Nuke it from orbit? It could be the only way to be sure.
 
2012-03-26 04:22:32 AM  
eh, I'll play a few more hours of Left 4 Dead with my friends, that oughtta be enough.
 
2012-03-26 04:23:02 AM  

Nidiot: Kurmudgeon: The problem with Africa is it's basically a big Petrie dish and there's no telling what may come festering out of there next. And if anyone has any idea how we can bring the place up to current medical standard without a full scale invasion, I'd really like to know.

I don't think there is enough money in the entire world to bring the whole of Africa to first world standards. But I am confident that the disease that will eventually wipe out the entire human race will begin in Africa.

Nuke it from orbit? It could be the only way to be sure.


Why stop there? Iran, north korea and new jersey are only a stones throw away.
 
2012-03-26 04:27:46 AM  
Some chlorine tablets or a bottle of bleach, some rubbers and a couple yards of netting and many of the kids who die today in Africa would be alive. With proper application.

/machete deaths excluded, of course.
 
2012-03-26 04:28:04 AM  
Is the port of Madagascar still open? We better head there before its too late.
 
2012-03-26 04:29:39 AM  

Kurmudgeon: The problem with Africa is it's basically a big Petrie dish and there's no telling what may come festering out of there next. And if anyone has any idea how we can bring the place up to current medical standard without a full scale invasion, I'd really like to know.


Africa has the most competitive ecology of all the continents. Some ecological niches that exist elsewhere (bears for example) never developed there of that competition. Just because you destroy the ecology doesn't mean all the life forms in that ecology cease to exist. The microbiological equivalent of Jurassic Park raptors may now be loose in the human population.
 
2012-03-26 04:32:21 AM  

Coelacanth: Africa has the most competitive ecology of all the continents.


Which explains why the Homo Sapiens Sapiens is what it is today.
 
2012-03-26 04:33:03 AM  

Ed Willy: Si now Kony has a zombie child Army?


Close, but not quite. Next week's news: Joseph Kony eaten by zombies.
 
2012-03-26 04:38:18 AM  

Nidiot: Kurmudgeon: The problem with Africa is it's basically a big Petrie dish and there's no telling what may come festering out of there next. And if anyone has any idea how we can bring the place up to current medical standard without a full scale invasion, I'd really like to know.

I don't think there is enough money in the entire world to bring the whole of Africa to first world standards. But I am confident that the disease that will eventually wipe out the entire human race will begin in Africa.

Nuke it from orbit? It could be the only way to be sure.


Before you nuke it could you just tell me? I need to pack and get on a plane...
 
2012-03-26 04:47:00 AM  

OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: Nuke it from orbit? It could be the only way to be sure.

Why stop there? Iran, north korea and new jersey are only a stones throw away.


Now now, guys, let's be fair about this. We all know the whole earth would have to go.

/At the very least, you forgot Texas.
//Do nuclear weapons count as "messing with"?
 
2012-03-26 04:48:27 AM  
Damn. That's depressing.

/and submitter... "literally turning [them] into zombies"? A bit of a stretch, even for a headline, no?
//It's like calling a kid dying of leukemia (for lack of a matching replacement marrow donation) a vampire.
///to say nothing of the abuse of "literally"...
 
2012-03-26 04:57:40 AM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Some chlorine tablets or a bottle of bleach, some rubbers and a couple yards of netting and many of the kids who die today in Africa would be alive. With proper application.

/machete deaths excluded, of course.


They would be alive to do what, continue the tradition of beating the odds? Most of Africa has no goal other than to fark and get farked. Africans need a reason to live longer, to care, with or without outside help, before providing these things makes any difference.

Not trolling, I completely agree, I just think it's a premature step, an ideology needs to be ingrained into the people first, morals of some sort (rape, killing is beyond belief).

There are obvious examples that refute my claim that morals don't exist in Africa, but the continent as a whole is so subject to migration that it doesn't take much for the bad to barrage the good enough to bring it back down. SA seems to be a relatively developed country, but the one thing that I know for certain about it is the statistics in one of its major cities, Johannesburg, and the massive amounts of car theft, with the usual suspects being new residents trying to get on even financial footing, quickly.
 
2012-03-26 04:59:49 AM  

you need help: TheShavingofOccam123: Some chlorine tablets or a bottle of bleach, some rubbers and a couple yards of netting and many of the kids who die today in Africa would be alive. With proper application.

/machete deaths excluded, of course.

They would be alive to do what, continue the tradition of beating the odds? Most of Africa has no goal other than to fark and get farked. Africans need a reason to live longer, to care, with or without outside help, before providing these things makes any difference.

Not trolling, I completely agree, I just think it's a premature step, an ideology needs to be ingrained into the people first, morals of some sort (rape, killing is beyond belief).

There are obvious examples that refute my claim that morals don't exist in Africa, but the continent as a whole is so subject to migration that it doesn't take much for the bad to barrage the good enough to bring it back down. SA seems to be a relatively developed country, but the one thing that I know for certain about it is the statistics in one of its major cities, Johannesburg, and the massive amounts of car theft, with the usual suspects being new residents trying to get on even financial footing, quickly.


I don't think it's right to say they don't have morals so much as they don't have our morals. I can't think of a way to justify a lot of the things that go on there, but I can't think of a way to justify a lot of the shiat that we do either, so...
 
2012-03-26 05:08:32 AM  
www.grandforksherald.com

Never mind the cause. I think we've found the cure...
 
2012-03-26 05:09:55 AM  
This justifies cannibalism all of a sudden.
 
2012-03-26 05:13:58 AM  
I'll be Rick. You guys all be Carol.
 
2012-03-26 05:20:51 AM  
Lessee....in the 1960's, we had massive civil wars in central Africa, with concurrent famines, refugees, internal displacement, field hospitals, rape and wartime prostitution; PLUS a breakdown of central government due to the collapse of colonialism and the complete abandonment by the West; PLUS well-intentioned but ultimately underfunded and underequipped medical teams trying to simultaneously end smallpox, treat malaria, cure cholera, TB and dysentery.

Twenty years later we had AIDS, plus a whole raft of new and never-before-seen diseases like Ebola, Lassa fever, West Nile Virus, etc.

Today we've had years of non-stop civil war with everyone between Kinsasha and Mogadishu playing, with concurrent famine, ethnic cleansing, rape and sexual slavery, child slavery and kid solders; PLUS a collapse of even the corrupt and brutal dictatorships when Mobutu was forced out and Kabila couldn't stay in the game without inviting the Angolan army in; PLUS a West too gun-shy since America's humiliation in Mogadishu to even try to intervene in the whole disaster.

Now we've got kids with some kind of weird nerve-eating disease? Color me totally unsurprised. Viruses live for this kind of bloodbath.
 
2012-03-26 05:22:03 AM  
O jeez I did not need to read this at 5:30 Monday morning..but I did..this fukn world sux
 
2012-03-26 05:25:44 AM  
Btw, guess which president gave more money than any other to causes in Africa? Go ahead guess...I'll give it away..GWBush. That is why he is still so revered over there
 
2012-03-26 05:27:10 AM  
Is this what happened to that faaaaabulous nekkid Kony dude?
 
2012-03-26 05:37:49 AM  

publikenemy: Btw, guess which president gave more money than any other to causes in Africa? Go ahead guess...I'll give it away..GWBush. That is why he is still so revered over there


Yep. All for abstinence only sex ed, IIRC.

See how that works?
 
2012-03-26 05:42:26 AM  

Gyrfalcon: publikenemy: Btw, guess which president gave more money than any other to causes in Africa? Go ahead guess...I'll give it away..GWBush. That is why he is still so revered over there

Yep. All for abstinence only sex ed, IIRC.

See how that works?


Hey, I'm no Bush apologist, but it is what it is. The guy loved him some Africans..But nah, he's just a racist warmongering cowboy. Does that feel better? I don't wanna blow your mind or anything.
 
2012-03-26 05:49:07 AM  

publikenemy: Gyrfalcon: publikenemy: Btw, guess which president gave more money than any other to causes in Africa? Go ahead guess...I'll give it away..GWBush. That is why he is still so revered over there

Yep. All for abstinence only sex ed, IIRC.

See how that works?

Hey, I'm no Bush apologist, but it is what it is. The guy loved him some Africans..But nah, he's just a racist warmongering cowboy. Does that feel better? I don't wanna blow your mind or anything.


You didn't, so mission accomplished. He didn't "love Africans", he loved the spread of Christiantity. And spreading Christianity is easy when it is well funded. Look up the groups funded to work over there under him.

Herpa.
 
2012-03-26 05:52:18 AM  

TimonC346: publikenemy: Gyrfalcon: publikenemy: Btw, guess which president gave more money than any other to causes in Africa? Go ahead guess...I'll give it away..GWBush. That is why he is still so revered over there

Yep. All for abstinence only sex ed, IIRC.

See how that works?

Hey, I'm no Bush apologist, but it is what it is. The guy loved him some Africans..But nah, he's just a racist warmongering cowboy. Does that feel better? I don't wanna blow your mind or anything.

You didn't, so mission accomplished. He didn't "love Africans", he loved the spread of Christiantity. And spreading Christianity is easy when it is well funded. Look up the groups funded to work over there under him.

Herpa.


Who really cares the reason why. Help is help, and they love him for it.
 
2012-03-26 06:10:09 AM  

CygnusDarius: Coelacanth: Africa has the most competitive ecology of all the continents.

Which explains why the Homo Sapiens Sapiens is what it is today.


The problem seems to be that no matter how much humans are malnourished, how much disease is endemic in the population, how little hope the future holds WE STILL BREED LIKE FARKIN' RABBITS!

And our systems pick the most selfish, hateful, greedy and downright evil people to run our society that are more interested in making themselves richer and more powerful than improving the lot of those they lead.
 
2012-03-26 06:24:05 AM  
Give them some hoodies. Right, Heraldo?
 
2012-03-26 06:24:50 AM  

Rug Doctor: Whatever. It's not like we've ever seen a horrific infectious disease come out of Africa.


Really. Look at Homo Sapiens. It's infested the whole f**king planet., and it's killing off everything.
 
2012-03-26 06:26:41 AM  
There's nothign we can do for the impoverished areas of Africa, it is beyond hope. Every dollar of aid that goes there is ultimately a waste; spend it on areas where it can make a difference. The only way I can see living conditions for most of Africa improving in the long term is massive population reduction to start with.

Either that or we get a miracle drug that can be easily administered that sterilizes the subject for life.
 
2012-03-26 06:35:49 AM  
I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...

"Africa" is not a country as you guys are describing it, but rather a friggin huge continent with over 50 countries that range from the pyramids in Egypt to the Serengeti to the modern city of Cape Town spread out over thousands of miles. Probably the most diverse place on the planet, so to say "XYZ is the problem" is the most disingenuous thing I can imagine.

I mean seriously, I'm cracking up at those comparing the problems in South Africa to those in Uganda. I've been to both and the differences are night and day- not even the same languages or the same history or same climate in any form (and why should they, being thousands of miles apart?), so I can't imagine why you'd compare the two unless you're just thinking to yourself "well they both have some black people." In which case we should start discussing why and how American problems relate to all this mess.

/Uganda's actually one of my favorite countries
//very sorry to hear about this going on there
 
2012-03-26 06:47:43 AM  

Andromeda: I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...

"Africa" is not a country as you guys are describing it, but rather a friggin huge continent with over 50 countries that range from the pyramids in Egypt to the Serengeti to the modern city of Cape Town spread out over thousands of miles. Probably the most diverse place on the planet, so to say "XYZ is the problem" is the most disingenuous thing I can imagine.

I mean seriously, I'm cracking up at those comparing the problems in South Africa to those in Uganda. I've been to both and the differences are night and day- not even the same languages or the same history or same climate in any form (and why should they, being thousands of miles apart?), so I can't imagine why you'd compare the two unless you're just thinking to yourself "well they both have some black people." In which case we should start discussing why and how American problems relate to all this mess.

/Uganda's actually one of my favorite countries
//very sorry to hear about this going on there


Every person has a need to feel special, and superior in some way. Our culture of media driven fantsay has exacerbated this - has falsely convinced many that they are the one who , as Dylan said, "can do what's never been done, that can win what's never been won".
What we have actually produced is a society of soft, complacent mediocrities.
But they need to feel special - and sonce they have never actually accomplished anything of note, they are left with rationalizing that they are somehow intrinsically superior to others, by accident of birth. That either their culture, or their so-called "race" are somehow gifted with inborn, superior characteristics.
I find that it's safer to leave them with the illusion.
Especially if I'm wearing a hoodie at the time.
 
2012-03-26 06:53:17 AM  

Andromeda: I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...


#1 So your getting a kick?

#2 If that's really your pic in your profile, and you really have been all over Africa, I salute you. You clearly have balls bigger than mine. How far do you think you can press your luck before you get raped, murdered and raped?
 
2012-03-26 07:03:59 AM  
Measles has a real nasty viral encephalitis that is usually pretty rare but it could have mutated or it could be an arthropod borne encephalitis like West Nile or Equine that mutated so my vote is for a viral cause. Amoebic brain infections are pretty easy to identify on autopsy too and viral ones are tough. Ah yes, the joys of pediatric autopsies.
 
2012-03-26 07:13:45 AM  
They just don't pray hard enough, right? Surely God can help them!
 
2012-03-26 07:21:46 AM  
The disease is God's punishment for Uganda's bill which makes homosexuality a capital crime.
 
2012-03-26 07:24:07 AM  

Zoomaster: Republicans?


I think you mean Democrats.
 
2012-03-26 07:24:25 AM  

BigBooper: Andromeda: I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...

#1 So your getting a kick?

#2 If that's really your pic in your profile, and you really have been all over Africa, I salute you. You clearly have balls bigger than mine. How far do you think you can press your luck before you get raped, murdered and raped?


You said rape twice. Which would be fine, except that one of them was after murdered, which makes it sort of gross. Unless she's a Labrador near a day care center.
 
2012-03-26 07:26:24 AM  
What. The. Fark.

That is all.
 
2012-03-26 07:27:38 AM  

Thrakkorzog: China sent us contaminated wallboard, lead paint toys and dog food that was poisoned so if they got a food shipment from China i would be very suspicious.


You forgot the baby formula, toothpaste, honey, and random radioactive stuff.

/Co-60, in my cheap imported crap? It's more likely that you think.
 
2012-03-26 07:33:42 AM  
If the President had a zombie son, he would look exactly like that kid Francis.
 
2012-03-26 07:35:50 AM  
This is a side effect of long term jenkem use.
 
2012-03-26 07:38:47 AM  
"Literally" turning into zombies. Got it.
 
2012-03-26 07:40:54 AM  
Now it gets worse:
The effort to restrain the children is not unwarranted. In one of the most bizarre symptoms of this tragic illness, children with the disease are reportedly setting fire to buildings in their communities. Coupled with the aimless wandering this disease provokes in victims, this is a deadly combination. More than 200 people have been killed in fires believed to be set by the zombified children. Link (new window)
 
2012-03-26 07:43:35 AM  

netcentric: If the President had a zombie son, he would look exactly like that kid Francis.


Ok, that was hilarious. Wrong, but hilarious.
 
2012-03-26 07:46:40 AM  

ChubbyTiger: BigBooper: Andromeda: I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...

#1 So your getting a kick?

#2 If that's really your pic in your profile, and you really have been all over Africa, I salute you. You clearly have balls bigger than mine. How far do you think you can press your luck before you get raped, murdered and raped?

You said rape twice. Which would be fine, except that one of them was after murdered, which makes it sort of gross. Unless she's a Labrador near a day care center.


Yeah I was about to say, I don't think there are that many people into necrophilia in the world.

And yep, I've actually been everywhere I claim, most of it alone, but never been anywhere I felt seriously unsafe. Most of the world is far safer than the United States after all (I believe the only place I went considered more unsafe is Johannesburg, where I minimized my time and stayed in good neighborhoods), and perfectly safe for travel so long as you don't do stupid crap you'd never consider doing at home like walking down dark alleys at 2am or trying weird drugs.
 
2012-03-26 07:50:03 AM  
farm3.static.flickr.com

I always keep 30 of these in stock. The wife does not let me keep any more. They are lighter and easier to open than cans.
 
2012-03-26 07:50:14 AM  

Nidiot: I don't think there is enough money in the entire world to bring the whole of Africa to first world standards. But I am confident that the disease that will eventually wipe out the entire human race will begin in Africa.


Oh, I don't know. I imagine $1 billion would go a very long way to providing everyone in Africa with a roof over their head, three square meals a day, and some kind of job for most of the adults, IF magically none of that $1 billion would be lost to greed, dishonesty, stupidity, or selfish.

Or as the quote goes, the fault, dear Nidiot, is not in our stars.
 
2012-03-26 07:53:49 AM  

Isildur: to say nothing of the abuse of "literally"...



You lost that battle in the 1680s. It's time to move on now.
 
2012-03-26 07:55:34 AM  

RatMaster999: [www.grandforksherald.com image 399x500]

Never mind the cause. I think we've found the cure...


Morbidly obese 5'9" Hispanic guys who shoot 6'0" Black athletes?

/Zimmerman was 100 lbs heavier than Martin because he's an out of shape tub of lard.
//Martin was significantly taller, and in *MUCH* better shape.
 
2012-03-26 07:56:26 AM  

Coelacanth: Now it gets worse:
The effort to restrain the children is not unwarranted. In one of the most bizarre symptoms of this tragic illness, children with the disease are reportedly setting fire to buildings in their communities. Coupled with the aimless wandering this disease provokes in victims, this is a deadly combination. More than 200 people have been killed in fires believed to be set by the zombified children. Link (new window)


So we wont have to nuke it from orbit, Africa is finally going to get around to destroying itself properly for once without our intervention? Well, to be honest, it is about time, the whole AIDS epidemic is just taking way too long, and that is with all the famines, wars, and other horrific diseases, as well as the plain old murdering people to provide witch doctors with their supplies.

Actually, considering all that, I don't see this latest disease making that much of a dent in the whole mess.
 
2012-03-26 07:56:55 AM  

KnowEyeInnTeem: [farm3.static.flickr.com image 500x375]

I always keep 30 of these in stock. The wife does not let me keep any more. They are lighter and easier to open than cans.


I like the tuna version, and I wish I could find other meats like chicken or turkey locally.
 
2012-03-26 07:58:31 AM  

you need help: There are obvious examples that refute my claim that morals don't exist in Africa, but the continent as a whole is so subject to migration that it doesn't take much for the bad to barrage the good enough to bring it back down. SA seems to be a relatively developed country, but the one thing that I know for certain about it is the statistics in one of its major cities, Johannesburg, and the massive amounts of car theft, with the usual suspects being new residents trying to get on even financial footing, quickly.


South Africa is also the rape capital of the world.
- highest incidences of child and baby rape
- 1 in 4 South African men admit they've raped someone
- extra bonus: land of the "corrective rape"

Not to mention what they do to aliens there.
 
2012-03-26 07:58:42 AM  

snuff3r: Man, that story gave me a huge sad. What a shiatty, shiatty world we live in.


So much this. Even making a snarky comment on a stupid, inconsequential site like Fark seems inappropriate.

Happy monday.
 
2012-03-26 08:01:47 AM  

ciberido: - extra bonus: land of the "corrective rape"


That's because they are still using rypewriters. They haven't started using romputers for word processing yet.
 
2012-03-26 08:05:10 AM  

boogie_down: snuff3r: Man, that story gave me a huge sad. What a shiatty, shiatty world we live in.

So much this. Even making a snarky comment on a stupid, inconsequential site like Fark seems inappropriate.

Happy monday.


What, did you pansies think the World was all skittles and beer? For the *MAJORITY* of the people in the World, life is still nasty, brutish, and short. As much as we all might want that to change, I don't see that happening any time soon.
 
2012-03-26 08:07:16 AM  

slayer199: We're only one mutation away from the zombie apocalypse.


♫ and you're only five yard from a farkwit! ♫

img705.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-26 08:07:55 AM  

ciberido: Nidiot: I don't think there is enough money in the entire world to bring the whole of Africa to first world standards. But I am confident that the disease that will eventually wipe out the entire human race will begin in Africa.

Oh, I don't know. I imagine $1 billion would go a very long way to providing everyone in Africa with a roof over their head, three square meals a day, and some kind of job for most of the adults, IF magically none of that $1 billion would be lost to greed, dishonesty, stupidity, or selfish.

Or as the quote goes, the fault, dear Nidiot, is not in our stars.


Wiki claims that the number of people in Africa is 1,022,234,000 in 2010. Somehow I am not sure that $1 billion dollars is enough to do what you suggest it might for all those people, even if all of it magically went where it was supposed to, and also even allowing that not all of those people are currently living in abject poverty.
 
2012-03-26 08:10:41 AM  

dittybopper: What, did you pansies think the World was all skittles and beer? For the *MAJORITY* of the people in the World, life is still nasty, brutish, and short. As much as we all might want that to change, I don't see that happening any time soon.


Holy shiat! You're right! I've been blind to this fact for so long.

F*** EMPATHY YOU PUSSIES!

♫♪ I can see clearly now, the rain is gone ♪♫
 
2012-03-26 08:12:09 AM  

Andromeda: I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...


It's not racist to point out that Africa is, on the whole, farked, because it is. Now, saying "Africa is farked because of all the damn black people there" WOULD be racist. See the difference?

Andromeda: "Africa" is not a country as you guys are describing it, but rather a friggin huge continent with over 50 countries that range from the pyramids in Egypt to the Serengeti to the modern city of Cape Town spread out over thousands of miles. Probably the most diverse place on the planet, so to say "XYZ is the problem" is the most disingenuous thing I can imagine.


Drew Cary disagrees.

Andromeda: I mean seriously, I'm cracking up at those comparing the problems in South Africa to those in Uganda.


Well, at least you're easily amused, so you've got that going for you.
 
2012-03-26 08:17:21 AM  
Holy hell africa sucks.
 
2012-03-26 08:26:54 AM  

Nidiot: Wiki claims that the number of people in Africa is 1,022,234,000 in 2010. Somehow I am not sure that $1 billion dollars is enough to do what you suggest it might for all those people, even if all of it magically went where it was supposed to, and also even allowing that not all of those people are currently living in abject poverty.


You might be surprised how much you can make do with small change like $1 billion. Some amazingly successful development projects have been done on surprisingly tiny budgets using local materials, local labor and techniques, etc. Some low-tech aquaculture (digging ponds to farm fish, basically), a few wells and outhouses to improve sanitation and provide clean water, some cook stoves that burn fuel more efficiently, a few microloans here and there, some old-fashioned non-electrical sewing machines for one-man (or rather, one woman) businesses going, and you're good to go. Can be done on a shoestring.

There are plenty of studies that talk about how much could be done on a low budget if you're really interested. I just made up that "$1 billion" figure so I won't try to defend it, but the general principle is probably more valid than most people would imagine. But I admit, I'm talking a magically best case scenario where everyone puts down their guns, rolls up their sleeves, and gets to work, which, human nature being what it is, will never happen. Or to be more precise, will not happen overnight.
 
2012-03-26 08:55:01 AM  

boogie_down: dittybopper: What, did you pansies think the World was all skittles and beer? For the *MAJORITY* of the people in the World, life is still nasty, brutish, and short. As much as we all might want that to change, I don't see that happening any time soon.

Holy shiat! You're right! I've been blind to this fact for so long.

F*** EMPATHY YOU PUSSIES!

♫♪ I can see clearly now, the rain is gone ♪♫


"Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded- here and there, now and then- are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as 'bad luck.'" - Robert A. Heinlein
 
2012-03-26 09:00:37 AM  

Isildur: Damn. That's depressing.

/and submitter... "literally turning [them] into zombies"? A bit of a stretch, even for a headline, no?
//It's like calling a kid dying of leukemia (for lack of a matching replacement marrow donation) a vampire.
///to say nothing of the abuse of "literally"...


The kids wander off, start fires do other things without any apparent conscious thought. That pretty much fits every description of a Zombie I've ever seen since George Romero invented them
 
2012-03-26 09:02:34 AM  
Quick....give them some money!!
 
2012-03-26 09:05:50 AM  
Mercury poisoning?
 
2012-03-26 09:09:38 AM  

Andromeda: I always love threads like this about Africa on Fark because then so many Farkers reveal themselves to be thinly disguised racists and/or obviously have no idea what they're talking about. As someone who's been to 10 African countries so far spread all over the continent...

"Africa" is not a country as you guys are describing it, but rather a friggin huge continent with over 50 countries that range from the pyramids in Egypt to the Serengeti to the modern city of Cape Town spread out over thousands of miles. Probably the most diverse place on the planet, so to say "XYZ is the problem" is the most disingenuous thing I can imagine.

I mean seriously, I'm cracking up at those comparing the problems in South Africa to those in Uganda. I've been to both and the differences are night and day- not even the same languages or the same history or same climate in any form (and why should they, being thousands of miles apart?), so I can't imagine why you'd compare the two unless you're just thinking to yourself "well they both have some black people." In which case we should start discussing why and how American problems relate to all this mess.

/Uganda's actually one of my favorite countries
//very sorry to hear about this going on there


Pre-fricking-cisely. And anyone who thinks that "Africans" are somehow deficient in morals needs to do a little light read about the Belgian Congo and King Leopold II of Belgium (new window) The King deserves a place in history right next to Hitler (no exaggeration, 10 million is a conservative body count for the Congolese that died under his administration of the Congo) yet most people don't even know who he is.
 
2012-03-26 09:17:59 AM  
this is awfully similar to how the book WWZ started
 
2012-03-26 09:20:28 AM  
I think this is just nature's way of thinning out an over-populated, under-fed area. There will be half the people forming babby in ten years.
 
2012-03-26 09:29:51 AM  

SilentStrider: Paris1127: So the T-Virus is real?

African Rabies.


AKA Afraibies.
 
2012-03-26 09:31:50 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-26 09:34:27 AM  
how much ammo do i have? that's kinda personal.

the best answer i can give: enough to facilitate the retrieval of more...

gun porn?

i26.photobucket.com

i26.photobucket.com

i26.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-26 09:42:12 AM  
Uganda is the Land of Nob?
 
2012-03-26 09:46:23 AM  
Sometimes you've got to put the kids down

www.baltimoresun.com
 
2012-03-26 10:11:35 AM  
www.magrathea.com

Jesus, that font is giving me epilepsy-like seizures!
 
2012-03-26 10:15:09 AM  

incrdbil: There's nothign we can do for the impoverished areas of Africa, it is beyond hope. Every dollar of aid that goes there is ultimately a waste; spend it on areas where it can make a difference. The only way I can see living conditions for most of Africa improving in the long term is massive population reduction to start with.

Either that or we get a miracle drug that can be easily administered that sterilizes the subject for life.


They call it genophage. The salarians developed it. It's not so much a sterility drug, but it reduces the chance of a viable pregnancy.
 
2012-03-26 10:18:40 AM  
www.smbc-comics.com

/relevant
 
2012-03-26 10:25:19 AM  

dv-ous: [www.smbc-comics.com image 331x1100]

/relevant


thank you for facilitating my morning citrus beverage reverse nasal lavage.
 
2012-03-26 10:36:19 AM  
publikenemy:
Btw, guess which president gave more money than any other to causes in Africa? Go ahead guess...I'll give it away..GWBush. That is why he is still so revered over there

Gyrfalcon:
Yep. All for abstinence only sex ed, IIRC.

Nope. One of the keystones of PEPFAR is increased use of anti-retroviral treatments (ART), which has saved at least a million lives already. Direct medical treatment is about 80% of PEPFAR's budget.

Only about 20 percent of the budget for PEPFAR is in non-medical aspects of the program, and while some of that is aimed at abstinence and anti-prostitution programs, it also emphasizes condom use and better infection control (blood safety and injection safety) - along with a lot of education spending. Only six or seven percent of PEPFAR goes into programs that emphasize abstinence (along with education and infection control). You might note that a lot of those things will also help control any new diseases that pop up in the affected areas.

By the way - the Obama administration is trying to eliminate PEPFAR. Since the end of the Bush administration, PEPFAR funding has dropped more than 20 percent.
 
2012-03-26 10:52:17 AM  
I'm more worried about the supply of good attack bears.

i222.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-26 11:01:57 AM  
dude... 6 year olds.
 
2012-03-26 11:03:28 AM  
i249.photobucket.com

What early onset may look like.
 
2012-03-26 11:08:14 AM  
Advanced stages:

i3.kym-cdn.com

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-03-26 11:10:27 AM  
Terminal stage:

img.fark.net

/...
//what??!?
 
2012-03-26 12:09:05 PM  
img822.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-26 12:11:58 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2012-03-26 12:26:21 PM  

foo monkey: Zombie trifecta in play.


The Zombie trifecta is ALWAYS in play.

It's just that sometimes the first two articles aren't displaying symptoms yet so nobody is aware that's it's in play.
 
2012-03-26 12:52:37 PM  
Boy, this would be a perfect time for a new zombie movie to come out.
 
2012-03-26 01:41:12 PM  
Now what's Merck up to?
 
Biv
2012-03-26 01:45:49 PM  
i210.photobucket.com

/approves
 
2012-03-26 03:36:25 PM  

TommyJReed: doglover: Corpses are not the same as zombies, subby.

And it's amoebas. All the other weird brain diseases in Africa are amoebas. This is just another.

Close, the CDC is seeing a correlation between nodding syndrome and Onchocerciasis parasitic infection. It's Nasty worm that causes a variety of problems including river blindness and is spread by black fly bites.
It might be a combination of severe malnutrition and worm infection; if the infected has nothing for the worms to feed on in their blood they'll migrate to where the food is, the Brain.


Given nothing more than the location and age range, the malnutrition is probably a key factor in at least prevention.

/Those poor kids...
 
2012-03-26 03:45:47 PM  
Link (new window)
 
2012-03-26 03:50:13 PM  
Pitching the new plot for Resident Evil 6.
 
2012-03-26 05:21:19 PM  

Andromeda: "Africa" is not a country as you guys are describing it, but rather a friggin huge continent with over 50 countries that range from the pyramids in Egypt to the Serengeti to the modern city of Cape Town spread out over thousands of miles. Probably the most diverse place on the planet, so to say "XYZ is the problem" is the most disingenuous thing I can imagine.


Everyone knows that Chiapas is just like Vancouver is just like Omaha is just like Tallahassee, give 'em a break.
 
2012-03-26 05:54:01 PM  
So are we talking like brain-eating zombies? or just jersey Shore viewers? Don't feel like rtfa.
 
2012-03-26 06:21:57 PM  

dv-ous: [www.smbc-comics.com image 331x1100]

/relevant


That is the best explanation for that ive seen... imo that question always tends to boil down to "well, god is kind of a dick".
 
2012-03-26 07:24:19 PM  
egg_mcmuffin

The fark? i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-27 12:26:05 AM  
Maybe Bayer can send them some more AIDS-infected smallpox vaccine. I'm sure that will help.
 
2012-03-27 06:01:28 AM  

Magorn: Isildur: Damn. That's depressing.

/and submitter... "literally turning [them] into zombies"? A bit of a stretch, even for a headline, no?
//It's like calling a kid dying of leukemia (for lack of a matching replacement marrow donation) a vampire.
///to say nothing of the abuse of "literally"...

The kids wander off, start fires do other things without any apparent conscious thought. That pretty much fits every description of a Zombie I've ever seen since George Romero invented them


Alzhiemers patients (and patients of other diseases that cause cognitive declines) wander off and do useless things in their confusion. In both those cases and in the cases of this desease, there isn't much in the way of attempts to feed on the flesh of the living, just some sad, horribly confused people more likely to cause harm to themselves than anyone else.

/and where's the arson part from?
 
Displayed 152 of 152 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report