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(Chicago Sun-Times)   If you've got a toddler who likes to jump up and down on your bed, hiding your handgun between the mattresses isn't the best idea   (suntimes.com) divider line 56
    More: Fail, mattresses, bed  
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6352 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2012 at 1:32 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-26 12:17:39 AM
On the plus side, the kid won't ever jump on the bed again.
 
2012-03-26 01:10:12 AM
If you've got a toddler who likes to jump up and down on your bed, hiding your handgun between the mattresses isn't the best idea

Alternately,

If you've got a toddler who likes to jump up and down on your bed, hiding your handgun between the mattresses isn't the best idea
 
2012-03-26 01:51:02 AM
Called up the doctor and the doctor said:
 
2012-03-26 01:51:04 AM
Is there such a thing as a retroactive Darwin Award?
 
2012-03-26 01:51:40 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: If you've got a toddler who likes to jump up and down on your bed, hiding your handgun between the mattresses isn't the best idea

Alternately,

If you've got a toddler who likes to jump up and down on your bed, hiding your handgun between the mattresses isn't the best idea


This. If you're a gun owner, get a safe. Individual pistol safes can be had for less than $100. Even ones that you can open in the dark simply by pressing a combination on a handprint outline. You still have your gun ready to go when you need it, and it's safe from both theft and from children.

\You should have your guns in a safe, even if you live alone
\\And it's a million times more important if you have children.
 
2012-03-26 01:52:38 AM

Ed Finnerty: On the plus side, the kid won't ever jump on the bed again.


Might not jump again, depending on how badly her ankle was hit.
 
2012-03-26 01:55:52 AM
Everyone knows your supposed to hide your landmines under your matters.
 
2012-03-26 01:56:27 AM
FYI, submitter...a toddler is a child between the ages of one and three.
 
2012-03-26 01:59:54 AM
If the gun is unloaded and the rounds stored somewhere else, it's not a big deal.

Also, why under the mattress? I keep mine under the pillow. The clip is behind the tissues on my night stand.
 
2012-03-26 02:04:00 AM
img4.realsimple.com
 
2012-03-26 02:19:51 AM
No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

So the parents were white and/or affluent and/or Republican?

*deadpan*
 
2012-03-26 02:28:03 AM
No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.
 
2012-03-26 02:32:55 AM

Jim_Callahan: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.


Hmmm...let me see. Unsecured loaded weapon = child endangerment.

Yes, I know it wasn't out in the open, but the child could have just as easily found it and shot herself or someone else. The fact that the gun fired because the child was jumping on the bed makes me wonder if the gun was a model with a hair trigger, or had been modified to be that way. Pretty obvious that the safety was off too.
 
2012-03-26 02:34:52 AM

here to help: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

So the parents were white and/or affluent and/or Republican?

*deadpan*


Possibly both, possibly neither. Could be that the police are trying to get more facts in the case, such as who the owner was, etc.
 
2012-03-26 02:36:27 AM

Perducci: Is there such a thing as a retroactive Darwin Award?


Sure, if you have kids but your stupidity causes them to not reach breeding age, what's the difference?
 
2012-03-26 02:37:08 AM

here to help: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

So the parents were white and/or affluent and/or Republican?

*deadpan*


The lack of charges confuses me too, especially considering it's Chicago.
Nice hospital they went to, but their neighborhood looks pretty middle class and colorful.

/what an age we live in
 
2012-03-26 02:37:20 AM
Or you could hide your gun under the mattress and not have dumbass kids. Problem solved.
 
2012-03-26 02:40:52 AM
Apparently I suck at this whole trolling business.

*sniffle*
 
2012-03-26 02:40:55 AM

Precision Boobery: here to help: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

So the parents were white and/or affluent and/or Republican?

*deadpan*

The lack of charges confuses me too, especially considering it's Chicago.
Nice hospital they went to, but their neighborhood looks pretty middle class and colorful.

/what an age we live in


Black, not rich, and living in Chicago. You bet they'll be charged, just wait.
 
2012-03-26 02:41:13 AM
If you don't have a gun safe, especially if you have kids, then you're doing it wrong.
 
2012-03-26 02:44:18 AM

Superevil: Or you could hide your gun under the mattress and not have dumbass kids. Problem solved.


Sounds like they missed that strategy by mere inches... in trajectory terms.
 
2012-03-26 02:50:45 AM
The parents are lucky that the gun didn't go off while they were farking.

The rest of us are unlucky that the gun didn't go off while they were farking.
 
2012-03-26 02:51:17 AM
I'm trying to picture how a gun between the mattresses could shoot upward at enough of an angle to hit someone on the bed.
 
2012-03-26 02:54:45 AM

Chinchillazilla: I'm trying to picture how a gun between the mattresses could shoot upward at enough of an angle to hit someone on the bed.


And now I'm trying to picture how a mattress could pull a trigger...

Sumthin' ain't right here.
 
2012-03-26 03:04:58 AM

here to help: Chinchillazilla: I'm trying to picture how a gun between the mattresses could shoot upward at enough of an angle to hit someone on the bed.

And now I'm trying to picture how a mattress could pull a trigger...

Sumthin' ain't right here.


Oh, I agree. Either someone is lying about where the gun was kept. Or, as I said earlier, maybe the gun had a hair trigger, either because of the model or because someone modified the trigger.

IMHO, it's going to boil down to someone outright lying about the gun being between the mattresses. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that the little girl found the gun and was playing with it as children are wont to do and shot herself. Or another person, likely another child, was playing with the gun and accidently shot the little girl. Those scenarios make a helluva lot more sense than the jumping on the bed story.
 
2012-03-26 03:10:02 AM

here to help: Chinchillazilla: I'm trying to picture how a gun between the mattresses could shoot upward at enough of an angle to hit someone on the bed.

And now I'm trying to picture how a mattress could pull a trigger...

Sumthin' ain't right here.



so improbable that it borders impossibility.

but I saw someone try to get a gun out from between two couch cushions and the bullet go through the back of the couch, right by the dog and the guy's girlfriends legs in the kitchen and out through the sliding glass patio door, after the glass left a nice mess on the floor of course. as bad as of a neighborhood as it was, the guy realized it wasn't as dangerous as keeping the gun where you couldn't see it when you wanted to get it.
maybe something like that happened here. or maybe just farking around.
 
2012-03-26 03:11:03 AM
That'll teach that Farkin' brat!
 
2012-03-26 03:13:08 AM
Was the kid wearing a hoodie?
 
2012-03-26 03:19:39 AM

Bathia_Mapes: here to help: Chinchillazilla: I'm trying to picture how a gun between the mattresses could shoot upward at enough of an angle to hit someone on the bed.

And now I'm trying to picture how a mattress could pull a trigger...

Sumthin' ain't right here.

Oh, I agree. Either someone is lying about where the gun was kept. Or, as I said earlier, maybe the gun had a hair trigger, either because of the model or because someone modified the trigger.

IMHO, it's going to boil down to someone outright lying about the gun being between the mattresses. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that the little girl found the gun and was playing with it as children are wont to do and shot herself. Or another person, likely another child, was playing with the gun and accidently shot the little girl. Those scenarios make a helluva lot more sense than the jumping on the bed story.


That's what I was immediately thinking about...how do you get a gun to fire to strike someone on the bed, when it's sandwiched between two mattresses? Something would have to sneak into the trigger-guard to fire the weapon (assuming it was charged), and somehow angle it upwards to strike the kid. I just can't quite wrap my head around the physics of that.
 
2012-03-26 03:19:55 AM
Jarquise?
 
2012-03-26 03:20:10 AM

Bathia_Mapes: IMHO, it's going to boil down to someone outright lying about the gun being between the mattresses. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that the little girl found the gun and was playing with it as children are wont to do and shot herself. Or another person, likely another child, was playing with the gun and accidently shot the little girl. Those scenarios make a helluva lot more sense than the jumping on the bed story.


relcec: so improbable that it borders impossibility.


Occam's Razor. Could it be we night owl Farkers did the job some lazy Chicago cop sluffed off?

I want some money for this! Or at least a donut.
 
2012-03-26 03:22:17 AM
Also, it doesn't say between a mattress and a box spring, it says two mattresses, which I assume means two mattresses side by side, forming a ghetto king-size. If the gun was between those, I can see it happening.
 
2012-03-26 03:23:05 AM
And I'll confess I don't know much about guns but I did think MAYBE if it was an old timey six shooter dealio MAYBE the hammer got pulled back JUST far enough to cause it to fire... but still... it all seems quite unlikely.
 
2012-03-26 03:24:52 AM

tetsoushima: Called up the doctor and the doctor said:


No more toddlers jumping on theOW MY KNEE!!!!1!! DADDY!!!!!
 
2012-03-26 03:33:46 AM

here to help: Bathia_Mapes: IMHO, it's going to boil down to someone outright lying about the gun being between the mattresses. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that the little girl found the gun and was playing with it as children are wont to do and shot herself. Or another person, likely another child, was playing with the gun and accidently shot the little girl. Those scenarios make a helluva lot more sense than the jumping on the bed story.

relcec: so improbable that it borders impossibility.

Occam's Razor. Could it be we night owl Farkers did the job some lazy Chicago cop sluffed off?

I want some money for this! Or at least a donut.


Would you settle for a chocolate pudding cup?
 
2012-03-26 03:34:29 AM

buckler: That's what I was immediately thinking about...how do you get a gun to fire to strike someone on the bed, when it's sandwiched between two mattresses? Something would have to sneak into the trigger-guard to fire the weapon (assuming it was charged), and somehow angle it upwards to strike the kid. I just can't quite wrap my head around the physics of that.


You must be rich. Here's cheap way to make a king size bed:

t1.gstatic.com

As the article says, the gun was between the mattresses.
 
2012-03-26 03:40:45 AM
no... i want donuts...

DONUTS! DONUTS! DONUTS!
 
2012-03-26 03:56:13 AM

Delay: buckler: That's what I was immediately thinking about...how do you get a gun to fire to strike someone on the bed, when it's sandwiched between two mattresses? Something would have to sneak into the trigger-guard to fire the weapon (assuming it was charged), and somehow angle it upwards to strike the kid. I just can't quite wrap my head around the physics of that.

You must be rich. Here's cheap way to make a king size bed:

[t1.gstatic.com image 270x187]

As the article says, the gun was between the mattresses.


Food for thought.
 
2012-03-26 04:12:45 AM

Jim_Callahan: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.


FTFA:In the case, Jarquise Upton, of the 6400 block of South Artesian, was charged with one felony count of unlawful use of a weapon by felon. Upton also was charged with two misdemeanors: possession of ammunition and theft of lost or mislaid property, police said.
 
2012-03-26 04:18:19 AM

The 4chan Psychiatrist: Jim_Callahan: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.

FTFA:In the case, Jarquise Upton, of the 6400 block of South Artesian, was charged with one felony count of unlawful use of a weapon by felon. Upton also was charged with two misdemeanors: possession of ammunition and theft of lost or mislaid property, police said.


The article has been updated. Now this thread makes no sense.

*fart*
 
2012-03-26 04:38:13 AM

here to help: The 4chan Psychiatrist: Jim_Callahan: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.

FTFA:In the case, Jarquise Upton, of the 6400 block of South Artesian, was charged with one felony count of unlawful use of a weapon by felon. Upton also was charged with two misdemeanors: possession of ammunition and theft of lost or mislaid property, police said.

The article has been updated. Now this thread makes no sense.

*fart*


Here's an article (new window) from another source that gives a few more details.
 
2012-03-26 05:19:00 AM

Bathia_Mapes: Jim_Callahan: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.

Hmmm...let me see. Unsecured loaded weapon = child endangerment.

Yes, I know it wasn't out in the open, but the child could have just as easily found it and shot herself or someone else. The fact that the gun fired because the child was jumping on the bed makes me wonder if the gun was a model with a hair trigger, or had been modified to be that way. Pretty obvious that the safety was off too.


This.

Should probably also go ahead with the charges for plagiarism because they left a laptop out where a child could find it.
 
2012-03-26 05:22:05 AM

Jim_Callahan: No charges had been filed as of Sunday evening.

Um, is there a reason charges would be filed? No crime was mentioned in the article.


Too bad stupidity isn't a crime; but child endangerment is.
 
2012-03-26 05:36:08 AM

Bathia_Mapes: FYI, submitter...a toddler is a child between the ages of one and three.


Seriously? A THREE YEAR OLD toddler?

My three year old walked, jumped and ran about 2 miles with us at the weekend

buckler: how do you get a gun to fire to strike someone on the bed, when it's sandwiched between two mattresses?


Those aren't mattresses!

basementrejects.com
 
2012-03-26 06:30:22 AM
img11.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-26 06:40:26 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: [img11.imageshack.us image 600x300]


3.bp.blogspot.com

That'll stop 'em.

/hot, like a bed of fire.
 
2012-03-26 07:50:10 AM
Wait, a handgun in the City of Chicago? No way. Chicago is one of the most anti-gun cities in the country. I'm sure am glad to see their anti-gun laws are keeping guns out of the hands of felons.
 
2012-03-26 08:09:50 AM
Do you have got a toodler, Subby?
 
2012-03-26 08:35:05 AM
"Don't worry honey. Pre-emptive shooting will protect you. They'll never shoot you if I do it first"
 
2012-03-26 08:51:04 AM
"FAIL" tag is a poor substitute for "DARWIN" tag. Get on it, Drew.
 
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