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(KeysNet)   9-pound rats in a) Detroit; B) NYC; C) the idyllic Florida Keys ?   (keysnet.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Grassy Key, Gambian, Florida Keys, rats, FWC  
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8735 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2012 at 11:20 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-25 01:11:18 PM  
the real mutants won't be found until the day of the big real estate greet & eat held for big wigs flown in from NYC. they'll go to tour the proposed site of a retirement home investment opportunity but one of the canoes will veer off course.

i've seen this dilemma in many 1970's films. rats are attracted to real estate development investors and it never ends well. try as they might, there is no way they'll make it back in time to warn the other guests.
 
2012-03-25 01:19:18 PM  

hillary: "Idyllic" and "Florida Keys" do not belong in the same paragraph, let alone in a single headline.


They can be if you spend your vacation wasted in Key West.
 
2012-03-25 01:28:03 PM  

Canton: louiedog: zarberg: Stupid personal anecdote time ...

I was living in NYC a few years back, and went to a bar just off Union Square. It's around midnight and I'm walking back to catch the subway and because of some construction or another have to walk past the dogpark area. I notice that someone left their dog behind, it's running around the dogpark. As I get closer I notice the dog has a long whip of a tail ... because it's a rat, at least the size of a terrier, probably 12 pounds at minimum.

/csb

12 lbs with a rat like tail? Are you sure it wasn't an opossum? I've seen them running around even very urban parts of cities a couple of times that time of night.

I hope your hypothesis is correct. Norway rats normally grow up to 500 grams, maximum. Source (new window) Meanwhile, the Virginia opossum (new window) can weigh up to 14 pounds. So unless Zarberg is living in a Stephen King story or discovered a rat with a serious glandular disorder...


Was there any water around there?
Maybe it was Muskrat Susie or Muskrat Sam.
I saw one when I was a kid that scared the hell out of me. It was up on top of some rocks that were at eye level next to a stream.
 
2012-03-25 01:28:26 PM  

deschinc: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

One person's problem is another's opportunity. Rat kabob!


Before eating one of these flightless pigeons, make sure it didn't eat any peanuts somebody left at the park on a Sunday. It is spring you know.
 
2012-03-25 01:43:00 PM  
bunkstrutts.files.wordpress.com

Meh. Lightweights.
 
2012-03-25 01:47:33 PM  
Could be the very first time I have seen somebody use 'Florida' and 'idyllic' in the same sentance
 
2012-03-25 01:50:44 PM  

Keys dude: Subby here. Don't release your non-native animals.


Arawak, are we?
 
2012-03-25 01:50:46 PM  
They are not called rats in Florida.

They called Palm Squirrels.
 
2012-03-25 01:56:11 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Jimmy Buffet doesn't live in Key West anymore


That's why all the rats are there!
 
2012-03-25 02:11:35 PM  
As long as we're on the subject of invasive non-native species... anyone know how to get rid of a seminole and cuban infestation?
 
2012-03-25 02:12:45 PM  
I can deal with 9-pound rats. Thank God Titanoboa (new window) is extinct.
 
2012-03-25 02:13:41 PM  
I bulls-eyed some womp rats in my T16 this morning, so I'm getting a kick out if these replies...
 
2012-03-25 02:15:45 PM  
seminole problem? have you tried forcibly relocating them to oklahoma? yes?
 
2012-03-25 02:22:24 PM  

jaymanchu: My cats LOVE hunting these big ass rats (though I've never seen a 9 pounder) But they also like the lizards too. Once we let them outside, they rarely want to come in other than to get a quick drink and use their litter pan.


Why do you have a litter box for outdoor cats? That's why I have an outdoor cat--so I don't have to have a litter box. And I live where it snows.
 
2012-03-25 02:25:37 PM  
Rats in Florida??? Were they joos?
 
2012-03-25 02:33:50 PM  
What sort of retard breeds Rats?
 
2012-03-25 02:48:34 PM  

Researcher: Rats are part and parcel with civilization. I think the sad thing is these rats don't have a chance, so round em up and put em in a zoo or something or ship em back if you can.


It's not that simple, and based on your other comments I am confident you know it. Rats are truly "invasive" species who rapidly expand their range and disrupt entire ecosystems, in stark contrast to pineapples, which are neither invasive nor out of human control in Hawaii.

These rats are only about 10 road miles from the Everglades. If they migrate up that ribbon of asphalt and concrete to the mainland, it would be an unmitigated disaster, irrespective of the ongoing snake catastrophe..
 
2012-03-25 03:02:18 PM  
IPSWITCH: Ms. Benes the hat you charged to the company was Sable, this is Nutria.

ELAINE: w-w- Well, that's a -ah, it's kind of Sable.

IPSWITCH: No, its a kind of rat.

ELAINE: That's a rat hat?

IPSWITCH: And a poorly made one, even by rat hat standards.
 
2012-03-25 03:03:48 PM  
oyster.ignimgs.com
 
2012-03-25 03:08:15 PM  
Mark me as surprised they don't have a nutria problem there already.
 
2012-03-25 03:12:57 PM  

redsquid: As long as we're on the subject of invasive non-native species... anyone know how to get rid of a seminole and cuban infestation?


Yes, give them back their land and either invade Cub/drop the embargo respectively.
 
2012-03-25 03:26:54 PM  

cryinoutloud: jaymanchu: My cats LOVE hunting these big ass rats (though I've never seen a 9 pounder) But they also like the lizards too. Once we let them outside, they rarely want to come in other than to get a quick drink and use their litter pan.

Why do you have a litter box for outdoor cats? That's why I have an outdoor cat--so I don't have to have a litter box. And I live where it snows.


This. That's the beauty of outdoor cats. Of course once they got pretty old both of my cats needed a litter box because they started spending almost all of their time indoors and couldn't always get someone to let them out in time. I suppose if we'd had a cat door that might not have become a problem. However we were pretty rural and lots of animals found their way onto our porch. I once opened the door thinking a cat was scratching to be let in. It was a porcupine whose quills were rubbing against the door. I never shut a door so fast in my life.
 
2012-03-25 03:43:43 PM  
The invasive exotic is an African species that can grow up to nine pounds and reportedly appeared on Grassy Key sometime between 1999 and 2001, when they were released by a resident who had been breeding them.

People of Grassy Key, if I happen to come along while you are beating this shiathead mercilessly with sundry blunt and heavy objects, please don't stop on my account. I will see nothing.
 
2012-03-25 04:02:11 PM  
Daffy Duck weighs nine pounds (he's the original nine pound weakling).

Ducks float.

Witches float.

If a woman weighs the same as a duck she is a witch.

These rats weigh the same as a duck.

Rats float.

Therefore, these rats are witches.

It's witchcraft!

Burn the witches, the Commies, the Jews and the Homos before they cause any more earthquakes, hurricanes, global warming, science, etc!

Well, it's one way of depopulating the Keys, and eventually, all of Florida, leaving nothing but gap-tooted yokels and Santeria-practicing Cubans.

God works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.
 
2012-03-25 04:22:45 PM  
I read that as 9 pound rats. Didn't realize it's actually 9 pound of rape.
 
2012-03-25 05:25:15 PM  
If rats had furry bushy tails everyone would love them. They would be "cute" but because they have a nasty aids ridden tail everyone thinks they are gross.
 
2012-03-25 05:36:37 PM  

slc11082: If rats had furry bushy tails everyone would love them. They would be "cute" but because they have a nasty aids ridden tail everyone thinks they are gross.


Well, there is that pesky plague people tend to associate with wild rats. Even if they're not those rats. Even if they're just rat-like. The image of the big feral rodent with the skinny tail has been historically seared into our minds.

/Fancy domestic rats are the possible exception.
//Those are adorable.
 
2012-03-25 05:44:49 PM  

hillary: Mrtraveler01: hillary: "Idyllic" and "Florida Keys" do not belong in the same paragraph, let alone in a single headline.

They can be if you spend your vacation wasted in Key West.

That's not "idyllic." That's Gay Pride Week.


I just got back from vacation, I spent it wasted, in Key West. I had a great time. while there were a good deal of men who enjoy the company of other, like minded men, I seemed to have happened on the island during the running of the Co-eds and the overflow from Bike week in Daytona.
I had to come home.. I was starting to get a little too used to the place.
Random wild iguanas were amusing though, I know they are invasive, i almost picked up that iguana cookbook I saw for sale in Mallory square. I would've gotten a conch republic passport, but I didn't feel like spending $100 for it so I got a flag instead. I have a strange fascination with the history of micro-nations after all

And of course I've had the day dreams of figuring out a way to move down there and making a living. but I'm a brewer by trade, and I found the water to be too calcium rich to produce any decent beer.. the only brewery on the island is in Kelly's and the demand is too infrequent for it to be a full time job..

sorry for the ramble... carry on.
 
2012-03-25 06:06:37 PM  
Dont they have mutuant 10 toed cats in The Keys to eat these mutant rats
 
2012-03-25 06:09:51 PM  
Sounds like another subplot for a Carl Hiaasen novel.
 
2012-03-25 06:10:11 PM  
api.ning.com
 
2012-03-25 06:16:11 PM  

Onkel Buck: Dont they have mutuant 10 toed cats in The Keys to eat these mutant rats


Polydactel six toed cats. They were prized by ships captains as they were more dexterous than regular five toed cats.
from what I could tell, most cats in the keys were your normal five toed cats with a the six toed cat nature reserve limited to Mr. Hemingway's house.

why yes! I DID take the big guided history tour! thanks for asking!
also, I find all my cats now to be inferior for their lack of opposable thumbs.
 
2012-03-25 06:54:59 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: I read that as 9 pound rats. Didn't realize it's actually 9 pound of rape.


Did I say 9 pounds? I meant 40 pounds. RAPE RAPE RAPIERÉ
 
2012-03-25 07:08:15 PM  
The Keys were indeed idyllic, but have not been since 1962. That was the end of it, right there. It was still great after that, but not idyllic, until 1974 or so. Then it slid down the slippery slope and became the festering suckhole that it is today.
 
2012-03-25 07:16:33 PM  
you saying you've lost your Keys?
 
2012-03-25 07:17:44 PM  
"9lb rats you say!?! Must be Tuesday all ready! This time its Tuckers turn to buy the beer and ammo!"

www.misterfadedglory.com
 
2012-03-25 08:16:55 PM  
9-pound rats versus 6-toed cats?
 
2012-03-25 09:33:29 PM  

Balchinian: The Keys were indeed idyllic, but have not been since 1962. That was the end of it, right there. It was still great after that, but not idyllic, until 1974 or so. Then it slid down the slippery slope and became the festering suckhole that it is today.


Maybe if I had my own tiny island.
 
2012-03-25 09:40:44 PM  

UNC_Samurai: 9-pound rats versus 6-toed cats?


I would like to rent that on VHS.
 
2012-03-25 09:44:12 PM  

slc11082: If rats had furry bushy tails everyone would love them. They would be "cute" but because they have a nasty aids ridden tail everyone thinks they are gross.


Oooh, That's a BINGO!!
 
2012-03-25 09:46:40 PM  
i182.photobucket.com

These big boys (Raphael and Uriel) were well over 2lbs each...

I would love to have a Gambian Pouched Rat.
 
2012-03-25 09:48:02 PM  

medius: UNC_Samurai: 9-pound rats versus 6-toed cats?

I would like to rent that on VHS.


It's on Syfi or whatever the hell they're calling it this month.
 
2012-03-26 08:57:31 AM  

redsquid: As long as we're on the subject of invasive non-native species... anyone know how to get rid of a seminole and cuban infestation?


First, get rid of all the paley-come-latelys and you wouldn't even know the Seminoles were there.
 
2012-03-26 09:21:56 AM  
Question was a no-brainer. Florida is where everything mutates into giant monsters.

saradobie.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-26 09:47:51 AM  
WE brought the toads to the islands to help protect our sugar cane fields. They didn't Hitch a ride we brought them. Same with the rats in the Keys, some dumbass had them as pets and let them go.
 
2012-03-26 10:06:20 AM  
Those aren't rats, they're our City Commissioners!!
 
2012-03-26 12:02:21 PM  
Only read tale/tail & pg 1 of comments, post at vy ft of.
a) At least they'yre not oogly, tho invasive
b) gators & other Everglades denizens make lunch of
c) recipes
May rd pg 2 of comments l8r. Golly Gee Wiz!
 
2012-03-26 12:05:07 PM  

NephilimNexus: Question was a no-brainer. Florida is where everything mutates into giant monsters.

[saradobie.files.wordpress.com image 400x518]


Quit posting that picture! gahhhh!!!
 
2012-03-26 01:53:59 PM  
Prev appeared at vy ft of pg 2, sorta predictably.
Figured there needed/had to be a Rat Key, but there isn't. At least not officially. Too bad? At least 4 Rat Rivers, tho.
 
2012-03-26 02:25:25 PM  

louiedog: zarberg: Stupid personal anecdote time ...

I was living in NYC a few years back, and went to a bar just off Union Square. It's around midnight and I'm walking back to catch the subway and because of some construction or another have to walk past the dogpark area. I notice that someone left their dog behind, it's running around the dogpark. As I get closer I notice the dog has a long whip of a tail ... because it's a rat, at least the size of a terrier, probably 12 pounds at minimum.

/csb

12 lbs with a rat like tail? Are you sure it wasn't an opossum? I've seen them running around even very urban parts of cities a couple of times that time of night.


I've seen opossums in Brooklyn.
 
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