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(LA Weekly)   Christian sex toy store offers smut-free dildo shopping online   (blogs.laweekly.com) divider line 85
    More: Spiffy, shopping online, sex therapy, Bible verses  
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14341 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2012 at 8:05 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-23 06:11:52 PM
Could someone please PS up a pic of the Swedish chef holding a dildo and saying "Dork Dork Dork!"

Thanks.
 
2012-03-23 06:23:25 PM
Sample page from the site:

SFW (new window)
 
2012-03-23 06:30:07 PM
Of course the first thing that comes to my mind is The Exorcist. Dammit Brain.
 
2012-03-23 06:34:36 PM
Better (pops, not safe for church).
 
2012-03-23 06:44:51 PM
You should see what they've got in there... Externe reacties! Oorsprong en betekenis! Condoom! Penisring mit Vibratie!

Okay, I can understand the last two, but the last time anybody oorspronged my betekenis I couldn't walk for a week, and I still can't eat raw wildebeest without getting a boner.

/nttawtt, good buddy...
 
2012-03-23 06:46:44 PM
What wood Jesus do?
 
2012-03-23 07:17:20 PM
Mynd you, dildø bites kan be veri nasti...
 
2012-03-23 07:29:58 PM
Uhm... the yoga video on the right.
 
2012-03-23 07:37:14 PM
Protip: Don't let your wife spray your d*ck if she's got a lighter in her hand.
 
2012-03-23 07:38:40 PM
I suppose disabling images in this thread was wise.

Light switch Jesus turns me on [SFW] (new window)
 
2012-03-23 07:51:39 PM
No matter which way you shake a stick at it it's still a sin. A glorious, glorious sin.
 
2012-03-23 08:06:53 PM
I like sin
 
2012-03-23 08:14:58 PM
Christian sex toys?

What's next....Muslim pork chops?
 
2012-03-23 08:17:10 PM
I love prudes who are too afraid to go to the sex shop.
 
2012-03-23 08:18:09 PM
Man Christians are weird... it is like that website is in a different language.
 
2012-03-23 08:20:04 PM

UCFRoadWarrior: Christian sex toys?

What's next....Muslim pork chops?


Hare krishna zealots.
 
2012-03-23 08:25:23 PM
I would rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints..


//not my quote
///read it somewhere
////I like the quote
 
2012-03-23 08:25:41 PM
Meh, I've seen weider (new window).

/It's like an IKEA you can fap to!
 
2012-03-23 08:25:59 PM
Thank God
 
2012-03-23 08:26:05 PM

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: Condoom!


I think Frodo took the one cockring to that volcano.
 
2012-03-23 08:27:29 PM

Ed Finnerty: I suppose disabling images in this thread was wise.


Hrm, I don't even see the 'sponsored link' warning anywhere in the header either, well then this thread just became useless.

Thanks prudmins.
 
2012-03-23 08:28:47 PM
So it's gone full circle.
 
2012-03-23 08:28:52 PM
Any Christian butt plugs there for sale?
 
2012-03-23 08:32:21 PM

Lone Stranger: Any Christian butt plugs there for sale?


You can find them here (new window)

Possibly NSFW.
 
2012-03-23 08:36:19 PM
Do they sell bleach to get the Santorum out?
 
2012-03-23 08:37:16 PM
I'm so over looking at creampie porn while I'm trying to purchase my Dutch dick gel!
 
2012-03-23 08:39:25 PM

Lone Stranger: Any Christian butt plugs there for sale?


You also get a free 12 fl oz of santorum if you buy a christian butt plug.
 
2012-03-23 08:41:46 PM

UCFRoadWarrior: Christian sex toys?

What's next....Muslim pork chops?


Hey! Christians have sex. It's just usually in the front seat of a clown car.
 
2012-03-23 08:41:58 PM

WI241TH: Of course the first thing that comes to my mind is The Exorcist. Dammit Brain.


This was what I was thinking, too...
 
2012-03-23 08:41:59 PM
No image posting? Bollocks...

Was hoping for a glimpse of what a plastic-Jeebus-wang user might look like.

Fark, I am dissapoint.

/Jeebuswang user review service: EIP
 
2012-03-23 08:42:50 PM
Wow, they ship in plain boxes that don't try to embarrass their customers? That's so original. When I bought my first vibe, it was shipped. . . oh yeah, in a plain unmarked brown box. With free condoms, lube, and a keyring ornament. And the company name on the credit card charge was something completely innocent.

But we shouldn't tell this poor guy that. He wants to think he's being all original, let's not ruin his fun.
 
2012-03-23 08:45:05 PM
Oh Christ. Somebody's gonna get nailed but good.
 
2012-03-23 08:46:05 PM
I though this what what the back pages of Time for Me and all those other overpriced baby boomer old-people-supplies catalogs were for.

They seem to especially love to sell those vibrators that look absolutely nothing like something so offensive as a penis; more like a beige-and-lime glowworm.
 
2012-03-23 08:47:51 PM

WI241TH: Of course the first thing that comes to my mind is The Exorcist. Dammit Brain.


Narf.
 
2012-03-23 08:47:53 PM
Someone is marketing sexual advice to repressed christians???

THE HORROR!!!

/This is a good thing and will probably help relationships that wouldn't talk about sex otherwise.
 
2012-03-23 08:48:29 PM
Do they also ship their toys with lollipops? Because, being the discriminating buyer that I am, I'm very loyal to toy sites that do the flirty card and the lollipop sort of thing. Not the free toy with so large a purchase thing, because most of those toys suck.
 
2012-03-23 08:51:58 PM
They are going to Hell if they sell lube. You should use spit like God intended.
 
2012-03-23 08:53:22 PM

balisane: look absolutely nothing like something so offensive as a penis; more like a beige-and-lime glowworm.


You say that like penises aren't supposed to look like that. B...because...because mine doesn't...
 
2012-03-23 08:57:52 PM
An eye for an eye, and dildos for Dildos.
 
2012-03-23 08:59:59 PM

ykarie: Wow, they ship in plain boxes that don't try to embarrass their customers? That's so original. When I bought my first vibe, it was shipped. . . oh yeah, in a plain unmarked brown box. With free condoms, lube, and a keyring ornament. And the company name on the credit card charge was something completely innocent.

But we shouldn't tell this poor guy that. He wants to think he's being all original, let's not ruin his fun.


Unless you Google it. Then you find a page that says " Services Inc. - Providing Discrete Merchant Services for Adult Vendors [ About | Our Affiliates | Contact ]"
 
2012-03-23 09:03:45 PM

Lone Stranger: They are going to Hell if they sell lube. You should use spit like God intended.


What if it's natural coconut oil?.
 
2012-03-23 09:08:57 PM

ciderczar: balisane: look absolutely nothing like something so offensive as a penis; more like a beige-and-lime glowworm.

You say that like penises aren't supposed to look like that. B...because...because mine doesn't...


Don't worry, bb; a little spackle and some sandpaper, and they'll never know the difference.
 
2012-03-23 09:14:03 PM

CygnusDarius: Lone Stranger: They are going to Hell if they sell lube. You should use spit like God intended.

What if it's natural coconut oil?.


You gotta bust a nut to get it so i guess it's OK.
 
2012-03-23 09:15:36 PM

Lone Stranger: They are going to Hell if they sell lube. You should use spit like God intended.


So the "pre-moistened dumper" thing is a myth?

[dissapointedfrankzappa.jpg]
 
2012-03-23 09:16:19 PM

ProfessorOhki: ykarie: Wow, they ship in plain boxes that don't try to embarrass their customers? That's so original. When I bought my first vibe, it was shipped. . . oh yeah, in a plain unmarked brown box. With free condoms, lube, and a keyring ornament. And the company name on the credit card charge was something completely innocent.

But we shouldn't tell this poor guy that. He wants to think he's being all original, let's not ruin his fun.

Unless you Google it. Then you find a page that says " Services Inc. - Providing Discrete Merchant Services for Adult Vendors [ About | Our Affiliates | Contact ]"


Not the place I used at that time. They had their own shipping and billing company name, with a plain, useless website. May have changed since then, for all I know
 
2012-03-23 09:24:05 PM

Calmamity: Uhm... the yoga video on the right.


God bless you for bringing this to our attention, sir.
 
2012-03-23 09:28:41 PM
Ok, so I'm guessing the Ironic and Amusing tags are currently busy, uh, "shopping"?

/Excuse me; I need to go pick up my Santorum "Holy Pleasure"(TM) funrod...
 
2012-03-23 09:30:51 PM

the_celt: I would rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints..


//not my quote
///read it somewhere
////I like the quote


I remember that line from Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young"

/Awesome song.
//Piano Man.
///Classic.
 
2012-03-23 09:34:19 PM

the_celt: I would rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints..


//not my quote
///read it somewhere
////I like the quote


Billy Joel - Only The Good Die Young (new window)
 
2012-03-23 09:35:48 PM
damn.. I knew I shoulda posted it THEN listened to the song.

/oh well
//slashies
 
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