TRUFFLES (new window)

Mucus Mule: He's 19, from arkansas, but has this strange accent.
What's up with dat.

He'll follow the Wal-Mart model and run every Mom and Pop truffle dealer out of every town.

Thunderpipes: Awesome, another example of the American dream via hard work and a vision. Now.....

Liberals hate people that get rich in America. This kid will be, or already is, the 1%. We should tax him at a 50% rate at least, right?

You're being too nice. He should pay for the privilege of working.

James F. Campbell: Hmm. That's strange -- I thought he was going to be raising them himself (which actually would be fairly unique and praiseworthy), but it seems he only imports them. Of course, these are the sort of people we should be praising: middle-men. Big farking deal.

Haters gon hate. Just a sign you're doing well for yourself.

Nice, if only I likes fungus that much.

/go dude in the story, good work.

Delicious fungus.

Dammit. I remember reading awhile back that there was a landowner here who charged ten bucks a day for folks to dig up as many truffles as they liked on his property, and it was loaded with them. I need to find that thing again.

kobrakai: Let me know when he can import a Philosopher's Stone from the Truffle Brothers. THEN I'll be interested.

Heh! When I lived in Germany I used to order those online from Amsterdam, because it was legal. Many happy smiles and pretty colors from those wonderful, psychedelic truffles. They taste like a damp forest smells. Much more palatable than a psychedelic shroom, but nothing to write home about, if it's analogous to a gourmet truffle.

Am I the only one who took the sign-off "can only wonder what he'll do next" as saying the kid is old news already?

Give the kid a break. What the hell else does he have to do to suit your sorry ass?

^{/i know i know}

Mixolydian Master: kobrakai: Let me know when he can import a Philosopher's Stone from the Truffle Brothers. THEN I'll be interested.

Heh! When I lived in Germany I used to order those online from Amsterdam, because it was legal. Many happy smiles and pretty colors from those wonderful, psychedelic truffles. They taste like a damp forest smells. Much more palatable than a psychedelic shroom, but nothing to write home about, if it's analogous to a gourmet truffle.

It was legal for a while in the US too. We used to order the shiat out of'em.

busy chillin': *dims lights*

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First thing I thought of too, for some reason.

SweetSilverBlues: farkingismybusiness: I don't think I've ever had truffles. Is it really that good?

They are amazing and truffle oils are truly wondrous.

Are they hundreds of dollars worth of amazing and wondrous? No.

/got to try them during one beautiful week in France
//Merci, Mme. Monique! Your farm was wonderful!

So much This. Worth trying if you have the opportunity, but you can get the idea for FAR less expense than the ones referenced in the article. GIS for truffle "spreads" or butters -- quite inexpensive and have the true truffle taste. Maybe $15-$20 a jar, and the flavor is powerful enough that a little goes a long, long way. I purchased them from a distributor of Italian truffles out of Weehauken, NJ. The jars keep well too in the fridge.

dericwater: saffron

Well, I'm just mad about saffron.

justanotherfarkinfarker: SumoJeb: truffle oils are garbage. synthetic crap designed to mimic the taste of truffles. it is disgusting, vile and has no place in a good kitchen.

Someone is a fan of Gordon.

well he is a cool guy, but my experience working and running kitchens for over 10 years is what I am going on. The stuff is nasty and nothing like a real truffle.

El Pachuco: busy chillin': *dims lights*

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[i47.photobucket.com image 80x80]

First thing I thought of too, for some reason.

Get The Cheat away from that lightswitch!

eh.. I still make a lot more money selling frags of corals on the side. Some corals you can go for over $1000 for a piece the size of a pinky fingernail.

Since he's from New Jersey, I want him to drop phrases like "I DEAL MAD TRUFFLES, NO TRIFLIN'"

Oh well.

TseTse Guy: I purchased them from a distributor of Italian truffles out of Weehauken, NJ. The jars keep well too in the fridge.

So you got them from the kid in the story. Thats where he is, that is exactly what he is doing.

I came for the truffle shuffle and leaving satisfied!

He has a wife, you know.


Squeal like a pig! (new window)

Thunderpipes: Awesome, another example of the American dream via hard work and a vision. Now.....

Liberals hate people that get rich in America. This kid will be, or already is, the 1%. We should tax him at a 50% rate at least, right?

No, people in america hate people that stay rich in America once they've gotten their money through a tax rate on capital gains that is half that on income and through polity pandering to campaign contributors and other such inequality and malfeasance.

James F. Campbell: Hmm. That's strange -- I thought he was going to be raising them himself (which actually would be fairly unique and praiseworthy), but it seems he only imports them. Of course, these are the sort of people we should be praising: middle-men. Big farking deal.

You act as though they don't add value. You're wrong. It's not easy.

The IRS on the other hand ...

Wouldn't give him the light of day? Was he making a mushroom joke?

Goose4: GungFu: farkingismybusiness: I don't think I've ever had truffles. Is it really that good?

Pigs like them.

Pigs eat shiat.

We eat pigs.

We don't eat shiat.

You do the math. Or something something.

Citation needed.

Yeah, pigs only root around in shiat if you lock them in a pen. If allowed to roam a nice paddock they are remarkably clean animals when they're not cooling off in some mud. Smart too.

You can't say the same about sheep... ever look at a sheep's ass after it does a number 2? Or before really, cause they never get the shiat off their ass. Dumb as bricks too.

SweetSilverBlues: MaudlinMutantMollusk: albert71292: and ounce??

And hundreds of dollars

/I was ok with it until they threw in the ounce

It could have been worse.

Could have been a pint.

/it comes in pints?!

Or like a bull elephant. It comes in quarts.

But the screeching halfwits on Jersey Shore are still the role models for today's youth right? I mean, this guy doesn't even have a regular spot on tv let alone his own show or anything. Why would anyone aspire to be intelligent and successful when being stupid and orange makes you so popular?

TseTse Guy: SweetSilverBlues: farkingismybusiness: I don't think I've ever had truffles. Is it really that good?

They are amazing and truffle oils are truly wondrous.

Are they hundreds of dollars worth of amazing and wondrous? No.

/got to try them during one beautiful week in France
//Merci, Mme. Monique! Your farm was wonderful!

So much This. Worth trying if you have the opportunity, but you can get the idea for FAR less expense than the ones referenced in the article. GIS for truffle "spreads" or butters -- quite inexpensive and have the true truffle taste. Maybe $15-$20 a jar, and the flavor is powerful enough that a little goes a long, long way. I purchased them from a distributor of Italian truffles out of Weehauken, NJ. The jars keep well too in the fridge.

I make Belgian-style frites - french fries - and serve them with shaved Parmesan, parsley and black truffle oil.

James F. Campbell: Hmm. That's strange -- I thought he was going to be raising them himself (which actually would be fairly unique and praiseworthy), but it seems he only imports them. Of course, these are the sort of people we should be praising: middle-men. Big farking deal.

Geez I thought he was at least digging them up. How boring. Not a fungi.

bluehubcap: Of course the DEA won't come down on him, the pigs are the only ones snorting the stuff.

You win.

Thunderpipes: Awesome, another example of the American dream via hard work and a vision. Now.....

Liberals hate people that get rich in America. This kid will be, or already is, the 1%. We should tax him at a 50% rate at least, right?

0/10

Oh wait, you're actually farking serious.

Thunderpipes: Awesome, another example of the American dream via hard work and a vision. Now.....

Liberals hate people that get rich in America. This kid will be, or already is, the 1%. We should tax him at a 50% rate at least, right?

Considering how many of the richest people in America (who got there through hard work) are liberals, I guess they hate themselves too.

He sells by the ounce and he's wears hoodies!?

Shoot him! Someone shoot him!

SHOOT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE! HE LIVES IN NEW YORK AND TEBOW JUST MOVED THERE!

/Really late to the game.

DKinMN: James F. Campbell: Hmm. That's strange -- I thought he was going to be raising them himself (which actually would be fairly unique and praiseworthy), but it seems he only imports them. Of course, these are the sort of people we should be praising: middle-men. Big farking deal.

You act as though they don't add value. You're wrong. It's not easy.

Uhh, in some cases, I agree that middlemen add value, but what value is this kid adding? If he is their U.S. salesman, then he knocks on doors and sells them for the company at the company's price. If he is buying them at wholesale, then just reselling them, wouldn't it be a better value for the customer to go to the company directly and get wholesale without the markup? And, wouldn't the company have more sales since they could offer a lower price, as they wouldn't have to include this kid's markup? Not knocking the kid, but it seems like the business is missing an opportunity if they aren't employing him.

So he's a middle man for the big Italian truffle concern.

I'd hoped he'd figured out a way to grow them on demand. It's always been a rule that if there's money to be made people will figure out how to grow it. Except for Silphium, which was hard to grow and harvested into nothingness despite being an effective preventative during the Roman empire.

James F. Campbell: Hmm. That's strange -- I thought he was going to be raising them himself (which actually would be fairly unique and praiseworthy), but it seems he only imports them. Of course, these are the sort of people we should be praising: middle-men. Big farking deal.

Yeah, all he is doing is connecting a product with a need. He creates no value at all, and is probably not even having to work at it. Why is anyone praising a guy who basically is a parasite on other people's work.

lewismarktwo:
You can't say the same about sheep... ever look at a sheep's ass after it does a number 2? Or before really, cause they never get the shiat off their ass. Dumb as bricks too.

I wouldn't say that...

You could put an arduino in a rubber brick, with some sensors or something. Make it pretty damned smart.

Sheep, on the other hand, there is literally no form of life on earth with less intelligence than sheep. Sheep actually have minus intelligence; they have anti-smart; no matter what the situation, they will automatically react in the most stupid possible way; that's not just regular dumb-as-fark, no, they have a gift, an ability to be stupid that far surpasses just random gormless-ness.

wildcardjack: So he's a middle man for the big Italian truffle concern.

I'd hoped he'd figured out a way to grow them on demand. It's always been a rule that if there's money to be made people will figure out how to grow it. Except for Silphium, which was hard to grow and harvested into nothingness despite being an effective preventative during the Roman empire.

Truffle farms already exist, where they grow and inoculate the trees that host the fungus around their roots. Were you hoping he had found a way of growing the truffles in some other medium without the trees being necessary?

Wizard Drongo: lewismarktwo:
You can't say the same about sheep... ever look at a sheep's ass after it does a number 2? Or before really, cause they never get the shiat off their ass. Dumb as bricks too.

I wouldn't say that...

You could put an arduino in a rubber brick, with some sensors or something. Make it pretty damned smart.

Sheep, on the other hand, there is literally no form of life on earth with less intelligence than sheep. Sheep actually have minus intelligence; they have anti-smart; no matter what the situation, they will automatically react in the most stupid possible way; that's not just regular dumb-as-fark, no, they have a gift, an ability to be stupid that far surpasses just random gormless-ness.

I know what you are saying, but I still think that there are some people who are even less intelligent than sheep, perfectly able to make the most stupid decision no matter the situation in a way that far surpasses random gormless-ness Without them there would be far less to read on Fark.

Simpsons' did it.

Nobody knows the truffles I've seen...

/M*A*S*H
//TV show
///Movie was much better
////but didn't last as long