fat kid trap

Have you tried just not hanging up candy? You're supposed to eat candy, not use it for decoration.

/Of course, he would be German.

FTA: Police said adults would have immediately noticed the smell of the ammonia , but a hungry dumbass child may have been unable to resist the lure of chocolate.

Maybe it's all for the best that this one gets thinned from the herd.

LoneWolf343: /Of course, he would be German.

Why of course? The article made no mention of Zyklon B.

D) Don't use real candy in your outdoor and easily accessible decorations dumbfark.

This guy was an idiot. Who the hell uses real candy on outdoor decorations like that?

Ammonia is a bit extreme. I'd go with laxatives for the lulz.

Satanus Maximus: Ammonia is a bit extreme. I'd go with laxatives for the lulz.

Ex-Lax coated ghost chili peppers.

rickycal78: D) Don't use real candy in your outdoor and easily accessible decorations dumbfark.

This guy was an idiot. Who the hell uses real candy on outdoor decorations like that?

It's actually more common than you think.

and yes, people do coat the items with ammonia and other chemicals... not so much because of the kids, but because of the animals.

it's beyond stupid, but it works.

That said, we don't have much of a problem with kids taking candy that's just lying around out in the open. I'll willing to chalk it up to a combination of Darwinism and good parenting.

WTF? Why would anyone put candy outside and NOT expect children (or squirrels or cockroaches) to show up and eat it? Someone just doesn't understand that the outside of their house is never going to be the spotless sterile place they make the inside into.

/ah, German... that explains a lot, really

Where is the hero tag? I'm confused.

I guess in Europe they like theft, being socialist and all...

Maybe the old guy thought squirrels and other critters were stealing the candy, and the ammonia was supposed to keep animals from eating it.

After all, humans are smart enough that they wouldn't eat a chocolate bunny that smelled like old pee, right?

Why is it assumed that he was maliciously attempting to POISON CHILDREN?

Ah, German. I see. Carry on with the lynching, then. For the children.

I've seen the frat pranks of having caramel covered onions.

Aren't there craft stores in Germany? Our local Michael's has all sorts of cheap Easter doodads that you can use for decoration. I'd have to think decorating with plastic bunnies would be much more economical (and sane) in the long run.

Germany. Well of course. Why would this dick decorate his yard with candy, if he doesn't want the local children to have it? Someone bring me this asshole and a butter knife, so I can relieve him of his balls.

Wouldn't this be more effective and less toxic?

Satanus Maximus: Ammonia is a bit extreme. I'd go with laxatives for the lulz.

I would've used something like a Gazillion Scoville chilli extract that was a legitimate food product... If I observed Easter, and if I were dumb enough to use actual candy in outdoor decorations.

The 10-year-old ate some chocolate?
The punishment should be running for 3+ hours straight, not poisoning.

Wait.. that sounds familiar.

Brown slime?

farbiez: Aren't there craft stores in Germany? Our local Michael's has all sorts of cheap Easter doodads that you can use for decoration. I'd have to think decorating with plastic bunnies would be much more economical (and sane) in the long run.

Why not just ban all candy then? After all, carrots are better and more economical in the long run.

/RIP Freedom

Tatterdemalian: WTF? Why would anyone put candy outside and NOT expect children (or squirrels or cockroaches) to show up and eat it? Someone just doesn't understand that the outside of their house is never going to be the spotless sterile place they make the inside into.

/ah, German... that explains a lot, really

See if you dip in chemicals then squirrels won't eat it.


Retarded fat socialist kids on the other hand...

JackieRabbit: Germany. Well of course. Why would this dick decorate his yard with candy, if he doesn't want the local children to have it? Someone bring me this asshole and a butter knife, so I can relieve him of his balls.

Why would you park that shiny new car in your driveway if you didn't want me to have it?

The guy should press charges for theft and trespassing.

It is a hate crime too since the kid was defacing decorations for a religious holiday.

Not too inventive, for a German. Read a bit of the original Grimm; poisoned candy for children who are out of line is kind of commonplace. Germans are raised and educated in a way that seems pretty strange for Americans.

/former exchange student in Germany

/approves

Kind of off topic and in all honesty: How do you keep neighbor kids off your farking lawn? Obviously this is overboard, but we've tried talking to the various parents multiple time who told us they would take care of it and haven't. We've tried asking the kids politely (with parental permission) to go home. Nothing is working! Our next step is to put up a picket fence and hope for the best. I'm not being bitter just because kids are in our yard. They are riding their bikes across our flower beds destroying them, picking out flowers, taking our landscaping rocks, tossing their garbage, and we have caught a couple of them peeping into our windows which I find very disturbing. I've about had it, but don't want to start screaming at a bunch of kids. Our neighbors have five kids and their house is the general meeting spot of all the neighbor kids. They don't have a terrible big front yard, so ours seems to be an extended front yard to theirs.

Think the fence will help or will the kids just like the challenge of climbing over it? This would be like a 3-4' high picket fence.

hailin:

Think the fence will help or will the kids just like the challenge of climbing over it? This would be like a 3-4' high picket fence.

If there is a fence it does stop them from using the "I didn't realize I was in your yard" defense.

/ha! defense!
//and I can't believe I'm the first to mention Crunchy Frog. Pollen slowing everyone down?

vpb: Did the kid have a nose? How can you eat something that has been soaked in "foul-smelling ammonia"?

Obviously, you've never eaten lutefisk.

hailin: Kind of off topic and in all honesty: How do you keep neighbor kids off your farking lawn? Obviously this is overboard, but we've tried talking to the various parents multiple time who told us they would take care of it and haven't. We've tried asking the kids politely (with parental permission) to go home. Nothing is working! Our next step is to put up a picket fence and hope for the best. I'm not being bitter just because kids are in our yard. They are riding their bikes across our flower beds destroying them, picking out flowers, taking our landscaping rocks, tossing their garbage, and we have caught a couple of them peeping into our windows which I find very disturbing. I've about had it, but don't want to start screaming at a bunch of kids. Our neighbors have five kids and their house is the general meeting spot of all the neighbor kids. They don't have a terrible big front yard, so ours seems to be an extended front yard to theirs.

Think the fence will help or will the kids just like the challenge of climbing over it? This would be like a 3-4' high picket fence.

It depends on a number of things. What kind of neighborhood do you live in? Are you afraid of retaliation by neighbors/kids? What can you afford to do?

There's a big difference in expectations and what you can/should do depending on the overall culture of the area. For example, if there's an HOA, go to them. If you have the resources, think about lights and/or sprinklers tied to motion sensors (which are also commonly used to keep deer away). If you're thinking about fences, think about the type and height of fence, too. For example, small wood fences may get jumped over and torn apart, while tall chain fences with concrete footings will be harder to vandalize or get over.

hailin: Kind of off topic and in all honesty: How do you keep neighbor kids off your farking lawn? Obviously this is overboard, but we've tried talking to the various parents multiple time who told us they would take care of it and haven't. We've tried asking the kids politely (with parental permission) to go home. Nothing is working! Our next step is to put up a picket fence and hope for the best. I'm not being bitter just because kids are in our yard. They are riding their bikes across our flower beds destroying them, picking out flowers, taking our landscaping rocks, tossing their garbage, and we have caught a couple of them peeping into our windows which I find very disturbing. I've about had it, but don't want to start screaming at a bunch of kids. Our neighbors have five kids and their house is the general meeting spot of all the neighbor kids. They don't have a terrible big front yard, so ours seems to be an extended front yard to theirs.

Think the fence will help or will the kids just like the challenge of climbing over it? This would be like a 3-4' high picket fence.

You'll probably just end up being bothered by them constantly to retrieve objects that make it over a fence they can't climb.

I dunno, try getting rip drunk on your front lawn while in a plastic wading pool, recite some Slayer lyrics and smash some beer bottles into the grass on the propertly line, while making sure parents of both native and alien children are present?

That or automatic sprinklers with green food colouring? Not sure if that would be workable but parents hate when kids get stains on their clothes, and that one would be hard for a kid to explain how they got it when it was from a place they weren't supposed to be.

If he was a Catholic priest it would have been lased with GHB instead

hailin: Think the fence will help or will the kids just like the challenge of climbing over it? This would be like a 3-4' high picket fence.

If kids are pulling up flowers and taking your landscaping rocks they have crossed the line between ignorant children acting like jerks because they don't know any better to vandals. I suggest having a somewhat less than friendly chat with their parents. Use the words, trespassing, police, and vandalism at least once during the conversation.

Use ex-lax FTW. came here to say this, then saw this Ex-Lax coated ghost chili peppers. and it took me a few minutes to stop laughing & pull myself back up to my chair to post anything.