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(Yahoo)   Boy named Sue, Girl named LaShockqua: Baby-Name regret is on the rise   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 86
    More: Obvious, baby names, Laura Wattenberg, National Bureau of Economic Research, girl named  
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15547 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2012 at 6:58 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-03-22 06:00:59 PM  
13 votes:
"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Farking?"
2012-03-22 05:30:49 PM  
9 votes:
So Sodomie Analube would be a bad choice?
2012-03-23 08:20:10 AM  
8 votes:
One of the worst names I've ever heard was Dino M. Zaffina, and God help you if you forgot this middle initial.

/the "M" stood for resmpect
2012-03-22 10:10:02 PM  
7 votes:

DarthBrooks: My cousin taught fifth graders in Reading, PA in the 80's.

Ten years after Roots was on TV, she had *five* Kunte Kintes in her class.



How many did she accidentally call "Toby"?
2012-03-22 05:56:42 PM  
7 votes:
The day my kid was born, there was another father there whose son had been delivered at about the same time as mine. I asked him his son's name and he said, and I quote: "Jedi. 'Cause he gonna be a warrior!"

I often wonder what little Jedi has turned out to be like. He'll be turning 8 next Tuesday.

Also, I really wonder if there is a girl or woman out there named "LaZonya." I'd like to think there is.
2012-03-23 07:25:26 AM  
6 votes:
www.telegraph.co.uk

"It's pronounced Bouquet"
2012-03-23 03:13:30 AM  
6 votes:
If I ever do have a kid, boy or girl, I think I'll name it Regret.

Later on we could laugh about it.
2012-03-22 05:39:14 PM  
6 votes:
Both my kids have pretty standard family names. If I were doing it again today, I would do precisely that again, and here's why: Ideally, for privacy reasons, you're tough to google. The best way to remain hidden in plain sight is to have a common name.

"Have you tried googling me? It's impossible"
27.media.tumblr.com


Of course, another strategy to remain private is to have the same name as someone famous, so that you're 100+ returns down on a search. But that can have unintended consequences, as well.

img284.imageshack.us
2012-03-23 11:06:51 AM  
5 votes:
Our neighbors have 5 children ranging from 6 to 16.

Adonis (boy)
Anubis and Osiris (twin boys)
Horus (boy)
Isis (girl)

The recently just had their 6th child, a boy and decided to name him.............

Josh.
2012-03-23 07:35:30 AM  
5 votes:
A lady goes into the welfare office, and files her paperwork. The social services worker calls her up and says "Ma'am, you listed that you have 10 children, but for names, you just listed 'Leroy'."
The lady says "Oh, dey all named Leroy"
The social worker is a little taken aback, she asks "Well, then how do you call a specific child?"
The lady replies "Oh dat's easy. Dey all got differernt last names."

/not sure that joke could get any more racist....
2012-03-23 07:33:34 AM  
5 votes:
costumenetwork.com

He has a wife, you know.
2012-03-23 01:18:52 AM  
5 votes:
My children Optimus and Magikarp really got a kick out of this article.
2012-03-23 08:20:01 AM  
4 votes:
No regrets.
data.whicdn.com
2012-03-23 07:27:18 AM  
4 votes:
FTA: "For example, boys given feminine names experience more disciplinary problems in school, probably related to teasing and insecurity."

Which is why we named our son "12-inch Thunderdick".
2012-03-23 05:19:16 AM  
4 votes:
My son Slartibartfast is getting a kick out of these replies.
2012-03-22 11:31:24 PM  
4 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: DarthBrooks: My cousin taught fifth graders in Reading, PA in the 80's.

Ten years after Roots was on TV, she had *five* Kunte Kintes in her class.



How many did she accidentally call "Toby"?


I heard she addressed them all as boy.

/sorta feel bad
//couldn't help it
2012-03-23 09:14:03 AM  
3 votes:
I worked with a large African Gentleman who's first name was 'ThankGod'

I always enjoyed telling him when it was Friday.
2012-03-23 08:41:08 AM  
3 votes:

Eccentric Fixation: I have distant cousins named Thunder Bolt and Lightning Rod.


That's very very frightening.
2012-03-23 08:29:34 AM  
3 votes:
If I were black, I'd name the kid Lil' Kneegro.

As such, I'm not, so he/she will have to settle for Smilin' Honkey.
2012-03-23 08:29:03 AM  
3 votes:
My step sisters name is Twanda - pronounced 'Two - Wanda'.
We are still wiat'n fo Three-Wanda, Four-Wanda, Five-Wanda..........
2012-03-23 07:31:55 AM  
3 votes:
I am still happy with naming my kid Analblaster Sparticus-Dunkmaster the third.
Why should I be the only one with a crappy childhood?
2012-03-23 07:21:52 AM  
3 votes:
It's spelled, "Raymond Luxury Yacht," but it's pronounced, "Throat Warbler Mangrove".
2012-03-22 05:55:06 PM  
3 votes:
My cousin taught fifth graders in Reading, PA in the 80's.

Ten years after Roots was on TV, she had *five* Kunte Kintes in her class.

Imagine how many Katniss and Peetas there will be a decade from tomorrow night.
2012-03-23 10:34:38 AM  
2 votes:
I wanted to name the boys Blast Hardcheese and Slab Bulkhead, but Mrs. tracer03 would have none of it.
2012-03-23 09:44:46 AM  
2 votes:
The worst baby name I've ever heard is Storm.
2012-03-23 09:10:53 AM  
2 votes:
Dino Zaffina. . .your mom has huge regrets.

We fill prescriptions for a Kasidea.

I guess the mom pronounces it Cassidy, but I like to pronounce it quesadilla.
2012-03-23 08:49:48 AM  
2 votes:

Hyjamon:

getting a kick out of this since my wife and I are expecting soon and just went thru the process of picking names. We found a girls name we liked, then found out it would be a boy. So we will have to save the girls name until we try again, but since you are offering to check if the name could have potential for porn or stripping or just plain stupid, have at what could be our future daughters name:

Ashley James Brown


Why would you do this to a little girl?

0.tqn.com

R.I.P. Ashy James Brown
2012-03-23 08:46:05 AM  
2 votes:
www.legendsofnascar.com
2012-03-23 08:16:22 AM  
2 votes:
Why are these books called "Baby Name" books anyway? It's not like we give them an "adult" name once they're grown up.
2012-03-23 08:06:27 AM  
2 votes:
i171.photobucket.com

Slab Bulkhead
2012-03-23 07:39:07 AM  
2 votes:
Nuclear Monk:
My wife and I always went for a stroll through IKEA to pick out baby names.

"We named her Boksel...it's Swedish for coffee table"


My son Billy has never complained. Quite a reader, that boy.

For serious, my wife and I are guilty of A-naming (supposedly due to lazy parents only getting through "A" in the baby names lists) but otherwise, I think our daughter has a nice but... ordinary name. It's probably for the best.
2012-03-23 07:36:51 AM  
2 votes:

Spanky McStupid: FTA: "For example, boys given feminine names experience more disciplinary problems in school, probably related to teasing and insecurity."".


Which is good for them if their fathers decide to leave them They'll grow up to be tougher for it.
2012-03-23 07:28:47 AM  
2 votes:
My wife and I always went for a stroll through IKEA to pick out baby names.

"We named her Boksel...it's Swedish for coffee table"
2012-03-23 07:22:01 AM  
2 votes:
I'm naming my kid Tyrion. When's he's old enough I'll tell him where whores go.
2012-03-23 07:04:28 AM  
2 votes:
Knew someone named Le-a. The dash was not silent. Ledasha.
2012-03-23 05:22:04 AM  
2 votes:
www.theimproper.com

/i just like the pic
2012-03-22 07:08:08 PM  
2 votes:
[theonion_mostpopularbabynames_whiteblackasian.jpg]
2012-03-23 06:29:28 PM  
1 votes:
"Someday you'll understand why we named you Broken Rubber."
2012-03-23 04:26:56 PM  
1 votes:
Also, a friend of mine used to babysit a little girl named Crystal Lear. Middle name? Shanda.

Seriously.
2012-03-23 04:26:12 PM  
1 votes:
But "Jiggawatt Thunderpenis" has such a nice symmetry to it...
2012-03-23 03:50:07 PM  
1 votes:

Button Face: Dr. Seuss on the subject of name regret:
"Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave
Had 23 sons and she named them all Dave?
Well, she did. and that wasn't a smart thing to do.
You see, when she wants one and calls out, 'Yoo-Hoo!
Come into the house, Dave!' she doesn't get one.
All 23 Daves of hers come on the run!
This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves'
As you can imagine, with so many Daves.
And often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn
And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.
And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.
And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey.
And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey.
Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.
Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff.
One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff.
And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed.
And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed.
And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt
And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate...
But she didn't do it. And now it's too late."


I plan on naming all of my children from this list, starting with Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face.
2012-03-23 03:25:13 PM  
1 votes:

Big Ramifications: i44.tinypic.com


I'll raise and call:

My dad worked with a SE Asian dude whose name was Phuc Yu.

"How do you pronounce your name?"
"Exactly how you are thinking you should."


/he's upset that his parents didn't Anglofy his name when they immigrated
2012-03-23 02:11:35 PM  
1 votes:
A neighbor named her kids Misty Dawn and Coral Reef. I am not making that up.
2012-03-23 02:02:06 PM  
1 votes:

megity: Well, Shrikey, (can I call you Shrikey?) to be perfectly honest... you've shown up on my screen in a bright green color for a while now. I am consistantly intrigued and/or amused by your comments. You might say I have a little Fark crush on you.


That's always nice to hear. I wish there was a way to find out how many people have you favourited on Fark. Some days I feel like no one's reading my posts, because unless someone comments on my statements, I have no way of knowing. The Smart/Funny buttons are nice, because I can still see that people thought what I said was funny, even though they didn't have to reply to me with "+1 internets" or whatever. Although a lot of people don't use the buttons.

Alas, I am happily married. So don't think of it as being dumped... think of it as the love that just could not be.

Well that's a convenient excuse. Why do girls always have an excuse handy? "I'm happily married" "I'm a lesbian" "I'm only 12"

Bah.
2012-03-23 01:57:48 PM  
1 votes:
In the 1980's, I once meet this girl who had a room mate, that knew this guy, who worked with this woman, who's brother once dated someone who hooked up with this other guy, that had heard about this man, that worked for Family Services, and had a client, who had a cousin, that had 6 sons, that somebody had named: Lord Almytee, King James, Prince Valiant, General Payton, Major Paine, and Buck Pryvette.

/true story bro.
2012-03-23 12:25:33 PM  
1 votes:

NeoBad: My Dad has the coolest name in the World in my opinion. It is not that his first name is so special, just that they did not waste his time with a MIDDLE name. So he only has a first and a last name.


Is his first name "Dino," by any chance?
2012-03-23 12:04:54 PM  
1 votes:
As annoying as weird, goofy names are, they don't bug me as much as people who insist their name is pronounced in some stupid, pretentious way.

"No, it's Eye-Gore."
static.guim.co.uk
2012-03-23 11:30:59 AM  
1 votes:
My former job had a on-call photographer named Justin Case.
2012-03-23 11:28:45 AM  
1 votes:

Stacie's Right Quad: I have worked in an family practice clinic in an urban area of a large city for the past several years. All of you in this thread saying that names like La-a, La a, and orangjello are urban myths and not real are, well, idiots. I see names that rival and surpass these on a daily basis. We recently had a set of twins come in with the middle names of Pork and Beans. I shiat you not. Our receptionist, whom is black, calls names such as Sheniqua and Trashaunya "Names that get your resume thrown in the trash".


When I started my clinical rotations as an RT student at a large city hospital, one of the techs bet me that she could always guess which patients were going to be black (race wasn't on the forms we used for intake). I thought she was joking but was quickly corrected...
2012-03-23 11:01:00 AM  
1 votes:
myshinygear.files.wordpress.com
"I'll be in my b'ynque."
2012-03-23 10:52:26 AM  
1 votes:

megity: BurnShrike: [costumenetwork.com image 360x252]

He has a wife, you know.

I think I love you.


Well thank you. I like you too, but I think our relationship is moving a little too quickly. You haven't even sent me BIE yet.
2012-03-23 10:05:53 AM  
1 votes:
i3.kym-cdn.com
2012-03-23 09:53:59 AM  
1 votes:

DROxINxTHExWIND: I never understood why people are so fascinated with what other people are called.


Is your name Spock? Because I totally read your post in his voice.
2012-03-23 09:51:26 AM  
1 votes:
"And i'm getting really sick of guys named Todd. It's a good farking name OK.Hi whats your name? Todd.I'm Todd. And this is Blake, and Blaire and Blaine and Brent. Where all these goofy farking boys names comin' from. Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn. These are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie. Eddie is a real name, what happened to Eddie he was hear a minute ago. Jackie and Johnny and Tommy and Bill. Danny, Larry, Johnny, and Phil. What happened? Todd. And Cody, and Dillon, and Cameron, and Tucker. Hi Tucker, i'm Todd. Hi Todd, i'm Tucker. fark Tucker, Tucker sucks. And fark Tuckers friend Kyle. Thats another soft name for a boy. Kyle. Soft names make soft people. I'll bet you ten times out of ten, Nicky, Vinnie, and Tony would beat the shiat out of Todd, Kyle, and Tucker"

- George Carlin
2012-03-23 09:35:54 AM  
1 votes:

TheGogmagog: itsfullofstars: Penn Jillette's daughter Moxie Crimefighter Jillette, his younger son is named Zolten. At least he has a reason "she can say, 'no problem, crimefighter is my middle name'" , that noone uses their middle name so you might as well have some fun and that she should be able to change her name to whatever she wants.

We didn't give a middle name to our daugher, we plan on letting her pick it when she becomes an adult. While I thought it was a clever Idea (not mine), I'd say I wouldn't reccomend it. Hospital records require the field filled, so she has NMN. Give some middle name and let them change it you want when they come of age.


Also my CSB:
I was in wallmart and heard someone calling "Aryan" "ARYAN". It was a mom calling her son. They were black, I was sad.


newspaper.li

Why you sad, bro?
2012-03-23 09:22:06 AM  
1 votes:

BoboRod: My name is not that common, but it's part of the name of a silent movie.


Pleased to meet you, Thea R. Tist.
2012-03-23 09:20:44 AM  
1 votes:
My neighbor has kids named Tiffany, Heather, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jacob, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Qbert, Phil, Condoleezza Marie, and Rubella Scabies.
2012-03-23 09:17:49 AM  
1 votes:
I'm naming my kid 'Not Applicable'.
2012-03-23 09:14:15 AM  
1 votes:
Someone here in town just named their kid Bellatriks Coraline. I wondered if it was a boy would they have named him Peter Murphy Neil Gaiman Voldemort Sandman Icrapbatsandblackleather Death.
2012-03-23 09:08:01 AM  
1 votes:
Went to high school with a girl named Summer. Not that bad, right? Oh, except her middle name is Eve. And no one ever let her forget it either. Mostly because her parents must have been prophetic, because she had the personality of a douche.

Also went to school with a girl named Angel. Predictably she was a bit of a hell-raiser. Classmate named Hope dropped out and still lives in the same podunk town with whatever redneck she hooked up with.

I guess my point is....don't saddle your kids with names that indicate virtue or shiat like that. It never ends well. Especially Chastity. Why would you do this to your daughter? (And yes, another classmate of mine. Yeesh, WTF was wrong with the parents in my home county?)

/very common first and last name
//just try to google me, biatches
///The terminator will never find me
2012-03-23 09:01:29 AM  
1 votes:
God, the amount of urban legend and 10th-generation bullsh*t in this thread is in danger of blocking out the sun.
2012-03-23 08:55:43 AM  
1 votes:

syrynxx: SlothB77: Knew someone named Le-a. The dash was not silent. Ledasha.

No you did not. That urban legend has been around as long as orangejello and lemonjello.


I always see people make the joke, and while it was something that probably originated online, I saw the name while working in the pediatric ER. It was real, at least in Central Florida.

Coincidentally, my favorite was a girl named Wenerles ( pronounced by the mother as Wiener-less ).
2012-03-23 08:47:14 AM  
1 votes:
Major Major Major Major's father approves.
2012-03-23 08:43:32 AM  
1 votes:
My nephew's name is Bradock Outlaw

I told his dad If I ever had a son I was going to have to name him Ninja Copkilla just to one up him.
2012-03-23 08:38:14 AM  
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: Scurvy Dog: Jake Havechek: Scurvy Dog: Jake Havechek: I'll take it seriously when Hurricane Loqueesha hits.

If Sheila Jackson Lee had her way, there would be a Hurrican Loqueesha. She went off on a rant because there weren't any hurricanes with BLACK names. Not everyday names that black people have, but Loqueesha, Latrina, Vondaleesha, etc. I think it was lost on her that people DON'T LIKE hurricanes, and that they are a bad thing that people don't want their name associated with.

I'm not sure about the designation "black names", either. How is a name "black"? I bet if you went to some African countries, you wouldn't run into any Shaniquas or DeShawns. I'd assume it would be a mix of tribal names and English names nowadays.

Ask Sheila Jackson Lee. She's the one who said it.

Link (new window)

That's just one of several possible links. According to her, not having black-sounding names for hurricanes was racist.

No thanks. Sheila Jackson Lee can suck a fart out of a dogs ass.


Well put.
2012-03-23 08:37:10 AM  
1 votes:

Scurvy Dog: Jake Havechek: Scurvy Dog: Jake Havechek: I'll take it seriously when Hurricane Loqueesha hits.

If Sheila Jackson Lee had her way, there would be a Hurrican Loqueesha. She went off on a rant because there weren't any hurricanes with BLACK names. Not everyday names that black people have, but Loqueesha, Latrina, Vondaleesha, etc. I think it was lost on her that people DON'T LIKE hurricanes, and that they are a bad thing that people don't want their name associated with.

I'm not sure about the designation "black names", either. How is a name "black"? I bet if you went to some African countries, you wouldn't run into any Shaniquas or DeShawns. I'd assume it would be a mix of tribal names and English names nowadays.

Ask Sheila Jackson Lee. She's the one who said it.

Link (new window)

That's just one of several possible links. According to her, not having black-sounding names for hurricanes was racist.


No thanks. Sheila Jackson Lee can suck a fart out of a dogs ass.
2012-03-23 08:27:56 AM  
1 votes:

Crudbucket: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: syrynxx: That urban legend has been around as long as orangejello and lemonjello.

I used to think that was an urban legend too. Then a friend that I trust told me when he was a caseworker in Kentucky he did, in fact, have two kids (not twins) that were named just that. I don't know if they were named after the urban legend, but there are two kids running around demanding the emphasis on the "jel."

/what a surprise it happened in Kentucky
//and a case worker was sent to the house.

Oh, well if some guy told you to take his word for it that the urban legend is true, that's good enough for me.


I don't know about the Jello-twins, but when I was grading protfolios for the state (Kentucky), I did come across a brother and sister named "Satanik" and "DeMonica."

Neither one did well on their portfolios.
2012-03-23 08:27:20 AM  
1 votes:
De'Love O' Christ is still my favorite.
2012-03-23 08:23:49 AM  
1 votes:

turbocucumber: Why are these books called "Baby Name" books anyway? It's not like we give them an "adult" name once they're grown up.


and what's the deal with "New" England? It's over 200 years old. Last time I checked, that's not "New"
2012-03-23 08:21:21 AM  
1 votes:

syrynxx: SlothB77: Knew someone named Le-a. The dash was not silent. Ledasha.

No you did not. That urban legend has been around as long as orangejello and lemonjello.


.

There was a girl in my school named Lasquasha, I would laugh with my friends and wonder if her sister was named Lacucumber.
2012-03-23 08:21:21 AM  
1 votes:
Considering that you are only going to poison the baby with all kinds of toxins on purpose as you buy it all kinds of superficial stuff made from chemicals, it is just plain child abuse to give birth anymore.
2012-03-23 08:12:29 AM  
1 votes:
My buddies wife has a student named Rolexus. It's a twofer. Classy.
2012-03-23 07:59:34 AM  
1 votes:
Still, it's going to take something to top 'moon unit zappa'
2012-03-23 07:55:17 AM  
1 votes:
www.strangecosmos.com
2012-03-23 07:53:39 AM  
1 votes:
joeydevilla.com

"Urhines" is pronounced "Your Highness". I shiat you not.
2012-03-23 07:38:46 AM  
1 votes:

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: syrynxx: That urban legend has been around as long as orangejello and lemonjello.

I used to think that was an urban legend too. Then a friend that I trust told me when he was a caseworker in Kentucky he did, in fact, have two kids (not twins) that were named just that. I don't know if they were named after the urban legend, but there are two kids running around demanding the emphasis on the "jel."


We have a family friend who's a maternity nurse and she said she once had a recovering crack addict deliver a set of fraternal twins named Chrystal and Roc.
2012-03-23 07:33:59 AM  
1 votes:

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: syrynxx: That urban legend has been around as long as orangejello and lemonjello.

I used to think that was an urban legend too. Then a friend that I trust told me when he was a caseworker in Kentucky he did, in fact, have two kids (not twins) that were named just that. I don't know if they were named after the urban legend, but there are two kids running around demanding the emphasis on the "jel."

/what a surprise it happened in Kentucky
//and a case worker was sent to the house.


Oh, well if some guy told you to take his word for it that the urban legend is true, that's good enough for me.
2012-03-23 07:27:30 AM  
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

/meh, too obvious
2012-03-23 07:25:09 AM  
1 votes:

SlothB77: Knew someone named Le-a. The dash was not silent. Ledasha.


Me too. Loved 24's on her 1992 Caprice, spent hours every Friday getting her hair "did", loved her booming car stereo system, never seen without her gaudy fake jewelry and inch long fake nails, and always used the word "homey".

We had a great relationship. She was crazy in the sack. Unfortunately, her penchant for drug dealing and gang banging ultimately ended our love affair. I miss her. Her family was wonderful.....well, her grandmother was her family. I loved to listen to her grandmother spin yarns about "popping Le-a upside the head" when she was bad.

/good times
2012-03-23 07:22:16 AM  
1 votes:
"It's pronounced Ah-swee-pay"
2012-03-23 07:20:27 AM  
1 votes:
My kids go to school with an Evan and a Spencer. Both are girls. Why would you do that to your kids?
2012-03-23 07:14:05 AM  
1 votes:
With all the retards who keep naming their little girls "Madison" I have to say I'm relieved.
2012-03-23 07:10:42 AM  
1 votes:
Fark, I am disappoint

imgs.xkcd.com
2012-03-23 07:07:00 AM  
1 votes:
Yeah yeah. Very funny. Lehyphena is not amused.
2012-03-23 07:02:01 AM  
1 votes:

TsarTom: If I ever do have a kid, boy or girl, I think I'll name it Regret.

Later on we could laugh about it.


Right before you are murdered, no doubt.
2012-03-22 05:36:46 PM  
1 votes:
Nosmo King
 
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