Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ABC Australia)   Cemetery worker confesses to selling bodies for occult rites   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

4551 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Nov 2001 at 12:55 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-11-12 12:57:57 AM  
YES! LARPs at their finest hour!
2001-11-12 01:00:20 AM  
Corpses: For Pets or Meat
2001-11-12 01:03:03 AM  
FARK!!! Where was this farking guy six months ago when I needed him.. DAMMIT!!

Oh wait, did I type that or just think that?? not again....
2001-11-12 01:20:08 AM  
What's the problem?!? Its not like the dead people were going to use those parts any more.
2001-11-12 01:26:42 AM  
Pssst! Hey buddy!

Want some head?
2001-11-12 01:32:40 AM  
Goths are so much fun!
2001-11-12 01:37:40 AM  
What I want to know is how you determine if a decapitated head is worth 180$ or 270$?

Maybe you pay extra if the head is toothless.
2001-11-12 01:48:58 AM  
I think you're thinking of bjs, OrphanedWombat .
2001-11-12 02:43:23 AM  
Wow... I have been paying WAAAAY too much for my human heads.
2001-11-12 02:43:36 AM  
Damn it.. I wanted to get my hands
on some boobies too.
2001-11-12 02:45:06 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-11-12 04:40:23 AM  
Bastard overcharges, too.
2001-11-12 04:55:11 AM  
In a statement, the cemetary attendant said, "I got the idea from this great little two-panel comic book I found in a telephone booth. It was practically an instruction manual on the Dark Arts!"
2001-11-12 04:58:47 AM  
Damn...another source dried up. Wonder if Alice Cooper's still dealing?
2001-11-12 05:24:17 AM  
2001-11-12 06:19:58 AM  
This is what happens with evil books like Harry Potter everywhere. Jack Chick was right.
2001-11-12 07:32:23 AM  
In a statement, the cemetary attendant said, "I got the idea from this great little two-panel comic book I found in a telephone booth. It was practically an instruction manual on the Dark Arts!"

Hehe - could it have been a Jack Chick tract?
2001-11-12 08:08:09 AM  
A head in the bag is worth 2 on a corpse.
2001-11-12 08:21:11 AM  
A corpse in the bed is worth two in the grave.
2001-11-12 08:35:59 AM  
Skwidd: Yeah, until some dirty rotten cvnt splits on you...
2001-11-12 08:51:30 AM  
I make sure that no hair-pie I encounter gets a maggot...
2001-11-12 08:57:26 AM  
I think this is more deserving of a SICK tag.
2001-11-12 08:58:28 AM  
Dead chicks don't rock, but they sure do roll!
2001-11-12 09:26:30 AM  
according to a Zulu shaman (Credo Mutwa), there is a race of reptilian beings (called Chitauri) which live off of human life force & love human sacrifice. they find fear to be their greatest delicassy (sp). a lot of these "occult" rituals are done to protect humans from them. strange stuff.
but according to some,it happens at Bohemian Grove too...
2001-11-12 10:42:42 AM  
You know, at around $200 I could add a few mounted artworks to my wall.

I bet I could win that prestigous artist prize in England they give every year.
2001-11-12 11:13:44 AM  
Idiot. Doesn't he know he'd get a better price from the Soylent Corporation?
2001-11-12 11:34:15 AM  
mmmmmmmm...soylent..I like the green kind.mmmmmm
2001-11-12 12:43:26 PM  
There once was a man named Dave,
Who found a dead whore in a cave.
He took a quick glance,
And pulled down his pants,
And said, "Think of the money I'll save!"

I'm working on a necrophilia haiku, next.
2001-11-12 12:49:41 PM  
betcha never guess what this is

[image from too old to be available]
2001-11-12 12:59:07 PM  
Hmmm... is it by any chance a fly?
2001-11-12 01:37:27 PM  
The Human Head weighs 8 pounds, and costs between $US180 and $US270.-Johnathan Lipnicky
2001-11-12 01:57:20 PM  

very perceptive.

just a fly.
2001-11-12 01:57:59 PM  
a fly on a pie.
2001-11-12 02:37:50 PM  
That's funny.. All the way over there & it's pretty much the same price as in London Ontario for some head.
2001-11-12 02:41:47 PM  
As promised (as if you really were waiting for them) - some haiku:

My mistress is cold
Unresponsive. Her name is,

Having lost my head
Regret stabs me. Wish I'd saved
One eighty dollars.

I have the power
From the darkest of magic.
This head smells awful.
2001-11-12 02:46:35 PM  
Considering I am majoring in mortuary science at school, I know now I can sell parts on the side and make even more money! Woohoo! I'll give you all my contact info as soon as I start my internship. :)
2001-11-12 03:37:36 PM  
What...that's illegal???

Hmmm, guess I won't go to bed stupid tonight.
2001-11-12 04:18:53 PM  
I've considered studying mortuary sciences.

Unfortunately, I came to the conclusion, of "meh".
2001-11-12 07:31:59 PM  
So was the guy charged with prostitution?

you know...for selling head?

.....Im sorry, Im leaving now.
2001-11-12 10:38:02 PM  
I hold your hand in mine, dear
I press it to my lips
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips

My joy would be complete, dear
If you were only here
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir

The night you died I cut it off
I really don't know why
For now each time I kiss it
I get blood stains on my tie

I'm sorry now I killed you
For our love was something fine
Until they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine

(Tom Lehrer, "I Hold Your Hand In Mine")
Displayed 40 of 40 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.