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(Houston Press)   Bacon, eggs, cheese and other American foods that foreigners just don't understand   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line 468
    More: Interesting, Americans, biscuits and gravy, Jell-O  
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23845 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2012 at 1:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-22 01:49:39 AM

Cyno01: Deterministic: Whoa, hold on there subby, I'm an Englishman, and bacon and cheese run through my veins in a literal and metaphorical sense.

So don't you go saying a non-American wouldn't understand them...

/aware I sound fat
//I'm not though
//really!

[i.imgur.com image 500x846]


fark that noise. As an American I find the "English" breakfast more appetizing... except maybe the black stuff on the right. What is that?
 
2012-03-22 01:50:02 AM

bel4sucks: GAT_00: I will never understand why people enjoy mayo, sour cream or Ranch dressing. I'd say I hate all white toppings, but Caesar dressing is delicious. But only on a salad with Parmesan.

It sounds like you're overcompensating, trying to hide your love for leche de hombre.


All of America's culinary history has been an attempt to make all food look like someone has jizzed on it. Grits, most gravies, most dressings, mashed spuds, etc. Every stage has made them runnier and whiter. I went to a funeral at an evangelical church, the lunch afterwards looked like the aftermath of a San Fran daisy chain.
 
2012-03-22 01:50:19 AM
The ultimate french fry topping is malt vinegar and a heavy dusting of Old Bay.
 
2012-03-22 01:50:35 AM
Huge Portion Sizes

Gotta agree with that one. Is it any wonder Americans are so farking fat?


"I always (and still think) cheese is weird." -- Miya, China

You, my friend, are a freak.
 
2012-03-22 01:51:28 AM
As an Englishman:-

Biscuits and Gravy: Not weird, just not had it. Looks like dumplings and some sort of stew-like sauce, which isn't weird at all.

Peanut Butter: Not weird, don't like the taste. My roommate consumes the stuff and loves it.

Bacon and Eggs: Part of a proper breakfast.

Pasta and Brocolli: Had that last night when I realised I had very little food in the flat.

Black Pepper: Not weird. Put it on a great deal of dishes.

Three Warm Meals: THIS IS NOT A FOOD. THIS IS A FOOD HABIT. Also, not weird.

Soft Bread: Staple food product. Also the quote they have is from a German and I'm fairly certain Germans have soft bread quite commonly.

Red Velvet Cake: I'll be honest, I've never heard of this before. Or I don't remember hearing about it. Either way, it doesn't seem terribly strange, just haven't had it before.

Mayo: Sandwiches, tuna, occasionally chips (that's British chips, not American chips)...yeah, I eat mayo.

Grits: Some sort of porridge? Never had it, not a huge fan of porridge dishes.

Huge Portion Sizes: THIS IS NOT A FOOD. THIS IS A FOOD HABIT. Also, a little weird to have constantly but whatever floats your boat I guess.

Salad Dressing: Not weird. Eat my salad with dressing.

Frito Pie: Basically crisps+chilli+cheese? Woulda thought that'd get soggy but hey, not that weird I guess.

Cheese: Are you farking serious?

Free Refills: THIS IS NOT A FOOD. THIS IS A SERVING OPTION.
 
2012-03-22 01:51:40 AM

NateAsbestos: except maybe the black stuff on the right. What is that?


Blood pudding.

Want to guess what it's made from?
 
2012-03-22 01:52:25 AM

d_the_sandman: AbbeySomeone: These are all over New Mexico as well and they usually always top them with green chile as well. Yum.


FTFY

I thought we loved our green chili in TX, but New Mexico takes it to a whole 'nother level. It took me a while to figure out that even in national chain fast food restaurants, if you don't specifically say "no chili" when ordering, your burger will be covered in the stuff.

/not necessarily a bad thing


Newcomers to NM wonder why restaurants keep asking them about Red, Green, or Christmas. "But, it's June!"

/Loves me some mucho red chile.
 
2012-03-22 01:52:44 AM

Big Bob Gibson's ORIGINAL White BBQ sauce. Put it on EVERYTHING!

encrypted-tbn2.google.com


Just sayin'.....

 
2012-03-22 01:53:07 AM
When my wife was preparing to come to the US for the first time, my mom said she would make one of her homemade cheesecakes. (She lives between New York and Philadelphia, so definitely in cheesecake territory.) My wife said that the idea of a cake with cheese in it didn't sound at all appealing.

Fortunately, she caught on once she tried it!
 
2012-03-22 01:53:47 AM

pedobearapproved: Frito pie is disgusting! I'd rather eat chicken feet and tendon.


Feng Szhou (sp?) aka Dragon Talons are one of my favourite dim sum items. I loooooove chicken feet.

Never had a Frito pie but it looks like damn fine post-bar food
 
2012-03-22 01:53:52 AM

fusillade762: Mayonnaise

Heh. I used to work with this kid who hated, HATED mayo. So when I got a sandwich for lunch I made sure to get extra mayo packets so I could squirt extra mayo on each bite. I'd be like "Justin, watch" and take a big, swimming-in-mayo bite, rolling my eyes and moaning. He'd nearly gag. It was hysterical.


I was like that when I was a kid. (Squeamish over mayonaise, I mean, not a tortuous jerk.) Got over it.
 
2012-03-22 01:53:59 AM

TheXerox: Born, raised, and still live in Iowa, LOVE grits since being introduced to them as a little kid by my dad who spent some of his childhood in Florida before moving back to the Midwest. I only know one other guy here who eats grits and he's a Southern transplant, everybody else here is revolted by it and wonders how the hell I acquired a taste for them in the first place.


Midwesterners in general are the least willing to try any food they didn't grow up with. Well, and the FOBs. (Fresh off the boat or fresh over the border, they still refuse to eat anything their mama didn't make.) I've known my share of Californians and New Yorkers who blanch at the idea of expanding culinary horizons, but I've yet to meet a midwesterner outside of Chicago's Loop who would ever do so.
 
2012-03-22 01:54:00 AM

freewill: NateAsbestos: except maybe the black stuff on the right. What is that?

Blood pudding.

Want to guess what it's made from?


It's made of 100% concentrated tasty. If you like bacon, you'll love the taste of black pudding.
 
2012-03-22 01:54:38 AM
I dip my biscuits in clarified honey butter. Anyone tried (a light drizzle of) honey and pepper on their fries? D lish.

What really blows my mind is when I meet someone who has never had 'Chinese food'. HOW?!
 
2012-03-22 01:54:59 AM
I_Am_Weasel: Cheese is popular in many places.

Though, as a foreigner, I still don't understand how you can get away with calling "American Cheese" a cheese. "American Cheez" I can understand, but a cheese it isn't.

Oh, and spray cheese.

Really, though, cheese isn't a high priority in Asian cuisine, so I can understand that. I do enjoy a good paneer, however.


There's a difference between American Cheese and American Cheese Food Product. My guess is you are talking about the latter.

Go to the deli and get the real stuff. It's pretty good. The other stuff is weird flavored plastic.
 
2012-03-22 01:55:09 AM

fusillade762: Heh. I used to work with this kid who hated, HATED mayo. So when I got a sandwich for lunch I made sure to get extra mayo packets so I could squirt extra mayo on each bite. I'd be like "Justin, watch" and take a big, swimming-in-mayo bite, rolling my eyes and moaning. He'd nearly gag. It was hysterical.


You probably watch videos of people in elevators pressing the (disconnected) close door button and laugh like a Mad Hatter, don't you?
 
2012-03-22 01:55:47 AM
lh4.ggpht.com


home
 
2012-03-22 01:56:24 AM
Food is food.

Tastes vary across cultures but least you can do is try something out or at least ignore what it is long enough to try it.
 
2012-03-22 01:57:16 AM

Marcus Aurelius: No scrapple?

NO SCRAPPLE!


You sound like a Pensylvania Dutch Cuisine critic
/ Scrapple is beyond disgusting
 
2012-03-22 01:57:33 AM

Bathia_Mapes: GGracie: Benevolent Misanthrope: GGracie: TheOmni: I dip my fries in mayonnaise. It's awesome.

I dip my fries in Ranch dressing. It's awesomer :-)

I dip my fries in 1,000 Island dressing. It's beyond farking awesome.

I'll have to try that. Thanks :-)

Try dipping your fries in tartar sauce. Very tasty.


For the win.... dip your hot salty fries into a chocolate shake, or if you have a nearby Wendys, a small frosty. If you aren't in a hurry, you can ask for your fries to be without salt and while that may add a couple minutes, they will be fresh and hot. Then you can cheese them off by adding salt later [Note I fit cheeses into there also].
 
2012-03-22 01:57:34 AM

r1niceboy: Blood pudding.

Want to guess what it's made from?

It's made of 100% concentrated tasty. If you like bacon, you'll love the taste of black pudding.



100 percent true.

/not from Europe. From the state that looks like a mitten surrounded by lakes.
 
2012-03-22 01:58:06 AM

r1niceboy: freewill: NateAsbestos: except maybe the black stuff on the right. What is that?

Blood pudding.

Want to guess what it's made from?

It's made of 100% concentrated tasty. If you like bacon, you'll love the taste of black pudding.


Yeah. That

Of course I eat everything and lots of "gross" things. Tendon. Tripe. Trotters. Tongue. Street food wherever I travel. Durian.

Big list of things I like that make people gag.
 
2012-03-22 01:58:40 AM
Something that only American's drink?

upload.wikimedia.org

This is the thing that is missing from the list because we are about the only guys who drink it. If you think about the taste, its quite medicinal and syrupy at the same time. Either you were born on it or you realize it tastes like a patent medicine.

Something else we do that no one else in the WORLD can match is eat sugar.

I had a girlfriend who was from Japan and when she came to Arizona to visit, I saw her pause in front of the baked good case at my local coffee shop. When i asked her what she was seeing, she said,

"Its so American."
"How so?"
"Everything is covered in sugar."

And I looked in the case and saw how all the somewhat austere coffee house scones and muffins were indeed completely candy coated. We eat our cake with candy on top and sometimes with a side of whip.

This love of sugar is also missing from the list.
 
2012-03-22 01:59:44 AM
I like to eat your mother for breakfast

she likes it too


she says hi
 
2012-03-22 02:00:16 AM
Cheese? Really? Sure, it is not all that common in asia, but nearly the rest of the world enjoys cheese!
 
2012-03-22 02:00:34 AM
The only place that offers free refills in Australia is Hungry Jack's. It's kind of a marketing Gimmick in Australia.
 
2012-03-22 02:01:56 AM

Amnestic: As an Englishman:- Biscuits and Gravy: Not weird, just not had it. Looks like dumplings and some sort of stew-like sauce, which isn't weird at all.


Biscuits and gravy... basically you cook up some sausage or bacon, add some flour to the drippings to make a roux and then thin out the sauce with milk and add some of black pepper. Its a pretty basic sauce, not far off from anything classically european. And american biscuits are sorta like a scone.

Amnestic: Red Velvet Cake: I'll be honest, I've never heard of this before. Or I don't remember hearing about it. Either way, it doesn't seem terribly strange, just haven't had it before.


This is a weird throwback through modern chemistry thing. Its basically a very rich chocolate cake, devils food to be exact, usually with cream cheese frosting. The older method of processing cocoa powder used to turn resulting products red instead of brown because of various chemical reactions. The modern preparation of cocoa powder doesnt do that, so people dump a shiat ton of food coloring in.

Amnestic: Grits: Some sort of porridge? Never had it, not a huge fan of porridge dishes.


Yeah, its just corn meal. Unpressed polenta.

Interesting that the three dishes youre unfamiliar with are southern.
 
2012-03-22 02:02:19 AM

Cyno01: Deterministic: Whoa, hold on there subby, I'm an Englishman, and bacon and cheese run through my veins in a literal and metaphorical sense.

So don't you go saying a non-American wouldn't understand them...

/aware I sound fat
//I'm not though
//really!

[i.imgur.com image 500x846]


Damn straight baked beans, but only these:
www.jenspends.com
 
2012-03-22 02:02:36 AM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: r1niceboy: freewill: NateAsbestos: except maybe the black stuff on the right. What is that?

Blood pudding.

Want to guess what it's made from?

It's made of 100% concentrated tasty. If you like bacon, you'll love the taste of black pudding.

Yeah. That

Of course I eat everything and lots of "gross" things. Tendon. Tripe. Trotters. Tongue. Street food wherever I travel. Durian.

Big list of things I like that make people gag.


A great street food from Australia is the pie floater. Essentially a steak pie covered in ketchup floating in a bowl of pea soup. Tastes great, but is physically impossible to eat politely. I usually go into an alleyway and do an impression of the green ghost in Ghostbusters.
 
2012-03-22 02:05:11 AM

amidoinitright: Marcus Aurelius: No scrapple?

NO SCRAPPLE!

You sound like a Pensylvania Dutch Cuisine critic
/ Scrapple is beyond disgusting


You probably just haven't had it prepared well. Scrapple is crispy, creamy, unctuous, and mineral-y with undertones of liver and spice all at once, the perfect breakfast food.
 
2012-03-22 02:05:12 AM

Bill_Wick's_Friend:

...Big list of things I like that make people gag.


Hurr hurr.
 
2012-03-22 02:05:37 AM
This is mostly Southern/Redneck food. I'm surprised they didn't mention stuff like spam (although I guess this is popular in other cultures), velveeta cheese, cheese whiz, jello salad, etc. That's the stuff I find particularly nasty in our culture - other than a few things on this list.


Of course I think there's a lot of weird/gross food in other countries like insects, offal, and animal genetalia.

One of the weirder things for me was how they don't use ice in their drinks in certain places. While I think there's too much usage of ice in the US, I remember being in France as a kid during the summer, it was around 100 outside and they served warm soda. I asked for ice and they seemed to think I was weird and put two tiny cubes in. I was told they don't use ice or something.
 
2012-03-22 02:06:01 AM

hellolove: THIS JUST IN: Everything other people eat seems weird if you're an ignorant, close-minded moron.


OK, but some food really is weird, and if you don't think that Phillippine dish of eggs just moments from hatching is odd, then you're the possible moron here. Also lutefisk is just evil.
 
2012-03-22 02:07:36 AM

Cyno01:
Yeah, its just corn meal. Unpressed polenta.


Polenta isn't always pressed or fried, it's often served creamy/porridgey like grits. Grits pretty much == polenta. The difference, as Bobbly Flay has said, is that you can charge $25 for a plate of Polenta in NYC, but only $6 for a bowl of grits.
 
2012-03-22 02:08:08 AM

r1niceboy: It's made of 100% concentrated tasty. If you like bacon, you'll love the taste of black pudding.


It was dutifully served every morning when I was in Scotland. Never, not once, could I bring myself to eat it. The one time I got close, I found myself convinced that I could smell the congealed blood and that was the end of it.

The white pudding and haggis, on the other hand, were consistently delicious, and the bacon was mind-blowing. I agree with the overall sentiment that a good British breakfast is a serious contender for the best breakfast.

amidoinitright: You sound like a Pensylvania Dutch Cuisine critic
/ Scrapple is beyond disgusting


On the subject of terrible things that Pennsylvania has done, I hope that both Chicagoans and New Yorkers can agree that "Old Forge Style" pizza is an abomination before the Lord.
 
2012-03-22 02:08:40 AM

amidoinitright: / Scrapple is beyond disgusting


No, making scrapple is beyond disgusting. But eating it? Oh, my...

img28.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-22 02:08:42 AM

CitizenTed: I love traveling in eastern Europe and the Balkans, but the damn Germans have poisoned hotel cuisine in those regions. Every hotel from Poland to Albania serves bread, cheese, cold cuts, yogurt and muesli for breakfast. You get pretty sick of it after a couple of weeks. I remember being told by a hotelier in Croatia that breakfast was unavailable and if we wanted to eat we could buy provisions and cook in his kitchen. I was so relieved! Eggs over easy, fried ham, toast and coffee! I didn't care that it cost me money or that I had to clean up the dishes. It was worth it!


I would LOVE to do that, but mainly because I party hard when I stay anywhere and get out much too late for any breakfast. Having the run of a commercial kitchen would be AMAZING even if I had to scrub it down after. Sure as hell beats room service prices anyway.
 
2012-03-22 02:09:02 AM
PillsHere: This is mostly Southern/Redneck food. I'm surprised they didn't mention stuff like spam (although I guess this is popular in other cultures), velveeta cheese, cheese whiz, jello salad, etc. That's the stuff I find particularly nasty in our culture - other than a few things on this list.


Of course I think there's a lot of weird/gross food in other countries like insects, offal, and animal genetalia.

One of the weirder things for me was how they don't use ice in their drinks in certain places. While I think there's too much usage of ice in the US, I remember being in France as a kid during the summer, it was around 100 outside and they served warm soda. I asked for ice and they seemed to think I was weird and put two tiny cubes in. I was told they don't use ice or something.


How about good old boiled peanuts?

Being from New England, it was new to me on my trips south. Still haven't tried it, but wet, soggy, warm peanuts isn't something I think I'd care for. Peanuts are crunchy snacks to me, not peas.
 
2012-03-22 02:09:10 AM

prisoner6: Big Bob Gibson's ORIGINAL White BBQ sauce. Put it on EVERYTHING!

[encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 259x194]
Just sayin'.....


I recently made white BBQ sauce.

If made properly, it tastes wonderful
 
2012-03-22 02:11:40 AM

PillsHere: This is mostly Southern/Redneck food. I'm surprised they didn't mention stuff like spam (although I guess this is popular in other cultures), velveeta cheese, cheese whiz, jello salad, etc. That's the stuff I find particularly nasty in our culture - other than a few things on this list.


Of course I think there's a lot of weird/gross food in other countries like insects, offal, and animal genetalia.

One of the weirder things for me was how they don't use ice in their drinks in certain places. While I think there's too much usage of ice in the US, I remember being in France as a kid during the summer, it was around 100 outside and they served warm soda. I asked for ice and they seemed to think I was weird and put two tiny cubes in. I was told they don't use ice or something.


My high school german teacher said that mostly had to do with most european kitchens not having room for a giant american sized refrigerator, so only the necessities go in the fridge. No ice, no cold canned drinks, unrefrigerated eggs and some cheeses, that sorta thing.
 
2012-03-22 02:11:40 AM

PillsHere: This is mostly Southern/Redneck food. I'm surprised they didn't mention stuff like spam (although I guess this is popular in other cultures), velveeta cheese, cheese whiz, jello salad, etc. That's the stuff I find particularly nasty in our culture - other than a few things on this list.


Of course I think there's a lot of weird/gross food in other countries like insects, offal, and animal genetalia.

One of the weirder things for me was how they don't use ice in their drinks in certain places. While I think there's too much usage of ice in the US, I remember being in France as a kid during the summer, it was around 100 outside and they served warm soda. I asked for ice and they seemed to think I was weird and put two tiny cubes in. I was told they don't use ice or something.


Never ask for ice cubes in France unless you watch them pour some Evian into an ice tray. I once asked for ice and got these brown ice cubes. The tap water is nothing short of sewage unless you're in the Alps. That's why they drink so much wine. Belgium, however, has great tap water and will happily give you all the ice you could ask for.
 
2012-03-22 02:12:22 AM
Quick note to parents: Kids love Frito Pie.
It was a sleepover staple at our house. Kids love making it as well as eating it.

/I will agree with grits being on the list.
 
2012-03-22 02:14:43 AM

TyrantII:

How about good old boiled peanuts?

Being from New England, it was new to me on my trips south. Still haven't tried it, but wet, soggy, warm peanuts isn't something I think I'd care for. Peanuts are crunchy snacks to me, not peas.


I've lived in the South for 12 years and I still haven't acquired a taste for them. They have the texture of wet newspapers. I ate some a few weeks ago at a brewpub that yuppified them with garlic and whatnot and even though the taste was improved the texture still sucked.
 
2012-03-22 02:15:14 AM

freewill: r1niceboy: It's made of 100% concentrated tasty. If you like bacon, you'll love the taste of black pudding.

It was dutifully served every morning when I was in Scotland. Never, not once, could I bring myself to eat it. The one time I got close, I found myself convinced that I could smell the congealed blood and that was the end of it.

The white pudding and haggis, on the other hand, were consistently delicious, and the bacon was mind-blowing. I agree with the overall sentiment that a good British breakfast is a serious contender for the best breakfast.


Bacon is certainly better in Scotland, but my favourite is the tattie scone and a bran scone on the side. It's possible that the tattie scone is the most glutinous foodstuff on the planet and one will fill you up for the best part of a day. Bran scones are an acquired taste but I miss them desperately.
 
2012-03-22 02:15:59 AM
Cocktail sauce on oysters
 
2012-03-22 02:18:06 AM
I just started getting my morning bacon&egg sammich with mozzarella, having gone without cheese altogether since I can't stand American on it.
 
2012-03-22 02:18:14 AM
Fark you, Dr. Ricky. Fark you.
 
2012-03-22 02:18:41 AM

r1niceboy: Bacon is certainly better in Scotland, but my favourite is the tattie scone and a bran scone on the side. It's possible that the tattie scone is the most glutinous foodstuff on the planet and one will fill you up for the best part of a day. Bran scones are an acquired taste but I miss them desperately.


I should also point out that I found this to be a pleasing innovation.

mywaffle.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-22 02:19:09 AM

d_the_sandman: AbbeySomeone: These are all over New Mexico as well and they usually always top them with green chile as well. Yum.


FTFY

I thought we loved our green chili in TX, but New Mexico takes it to a whole 'nother level. It took me a while to figure out that even in national chain fast food restaurants, if you don't specifically say "no chili" when ordering, your burger will be covered in the stuff.

/not necessarily a bad thing


I want to go there. Anaheim chilies are the greatest pickle substitute of all time.

I'm an American always wishing I could buy smaller portions of... Everything. Did Lay's really need to increase the size of their bags? Hell nah. They could have upped the price, stuck a "150 calorie" label on it and I would have been pumped. I love Doritos, for about 6 or 7 chips at a time as a snack, not 400 calories as a GD meal.

/Are some of the foreigners are crazy though? Grits? Were they just buying them at Cracker Barrel or did they try the Flying Biscuit? (OM NOM NOM)
 
2012-03-22 02:19:13 AM

Ed Finnerty: I would love to show her canned cheese and watch her freak the fark out.


Is that some euphemism for one of your perverted little sex acts?
 
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