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(Short List)   Twitter turns six today. Instead of focusing on Kim Kardashian's 14 million tweets, here are some of the most memorable tweets since 2006   (shortlist.com) divider line 59
    More: Interesting, Jack Dorsey, Stephen Fry, Kim Kardashian  
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9097 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Mar 2012 at 3:47 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-21 01:15:17 PM
Will we get an update on when poop is coming out?
 
2012-03-21 01:48:50 PM
Meh.
 
2012-03-21 01:51:57 PM
The best part? I've never used the retarded thing. Ever.

/yeah i've seen links to tweets
//that doesn't count
///twitter is farking stupid
 
2012-03-21 02:48:25 PM
FTFA: @dlprager Maybe I should lock my door - I swear a random dude just walked into my bathroom and I can't believe I haven't freaked out

After an unknown man broke into his flat, David Prager did the obvious. Sat in his bathroom while tweeting updates. His captive audience gave him advice on what to do and he even set up a video stream so they could watch him confront the stranger.


I wonder what Mr. Prager's Fark handle is...
 
2012-03-21 03:43:11 PM
I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting (I clicked through to read them all). And some comedians have funny moments on there, but overall Twitter is a waste of time like many other things, and I don't bother.
 
2012-03-21 03:47:16 PM
I haven't been there since they changed the format. Farking hate the new layout.
 
2012-03-21 03:55:59 PM
"Use" Twitter to follow interesting people or things, but I've never tweeted anything myself, and likely won't.
 
2012-03-21 03:56:00 PM

Gig103: I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting


Ditto.

Twitter, like Facebook, YouTube, and the others, is a fantastic tool when used properly. The 1% of the time it is.
 
2012-03-21 03:57:36 PM

PunchDrunkPanda: Gig103: I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting

Ditto.

Twitter, like Facebook, YouTube, and the others, is a fantastic tool when used properly. The 1% of the time it is.


I'm hoping this thread can explain how Twitter might be useful. I still haven't figured it out. I followed some shiat a few years back, but it didn't really stick.
 
2012-03-21 03:58:49 PM
Surely there are better tweets? No tweets from the Arab Spring? Nothing from anyone in the tsunami?
 
2012-03-21 03:59:28 PM
None of them are memorable. If you are worried about what your favorite celibrity has to say, you should probably just shoot yourself and do us all a favor. Thanks.
 
2012-03-21 04:04:18 PM
How does Twitter make money?
 
2012-03-21 04:09:31 PM

stewbert: PunchDrunkPanda: Gig103: I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting

Ditto.

Twitter, like Facebook, YouTube, and the others, is a fantastic tool when used properly. The 1% of the time it is.

I'm hoping this thread can explain how Twitter might be useful. I still haven't figured it out. I followed some shiat a few years back, but it didn't really stick.


A business you patronize has a last-minute special on something; you see their tweet and take advantage of that.

A group of friends meeting in a dense urban area; each person checks one bar or restaurant and tweets the specials, wait list, etc. so that the group can decide where to meet.

Random brain-droppings from celebrities and 15-year-olds, not so much.
 
2012-03-21 04:14:07 PM
 
2012-03-21 04:14:07 PM
The only reason I would ever use Twits is to point out the following to Kanye West:

When someone goes into a store and takes product off the shelf and leaves the store with it, it's called looting.

When someone finds product floating in the water above the street with no ability to determine the origin of the product, it's called finding.

George Bush doesn't care about STUPID people.
 
2012-03-21 04:15:14 PM
So these are the best tweets?

It's a list of how completely (99.9999%) inconsequential twitter is.

Facebook lets people stay in touch with friends.

Twitter lets people stay in touch with poop.
 
2012-03-21 04:18:53 PM

GameSprocket: Nothing from anyone in the tsunami?


From someone in the tsunami? Probably not.

"@drowningguy glub glub glu"
 
2012-03-21 04:20:30 PM

9beers: How does Twitter make money?


Volume.
 
2012-03-21 04:26:14 PM
Twitter is 140 characters and you're out, it's not a religion like facebook is.
 
2012-03-21 04:34:28 PM

Rev.K: Meh.



Not one of these was funny. I have to agree with you, sir. Meh.
 
2012-03-21 04:37:54 PM
I have Twitter followers. I have absolutely no idea why.

Maybe I should make another tweet. I haven't done that for a few weeks/months now.

I wonder if I have made six tweets. If not, maybe I could celebrate the birth of Twitter with my sixth tweet.

Tweety Pie tweets more often than I do and he has been dead for 50 years.

(I know Tweety Pie is a male canary because only males sing.)
 
2012-03-21 04:43:23 PM

jayhawk88: "Use" Twitter to follow interesting people or things, but I've never tweeted anything myself, and likely won't.


Lurker.

I suggest that Twitter Lurkers should be called "Owls" because they are silent as the swoop of an owl. I mostly see the same links and crap on Twitter that I have already seen elsewhere, including Fark, so I don't even visit the site very often. There are some very interesting people to follow, but I really don't have to know every time Steve Martin, Stephen Frye or Kevin Murphy thinks of a punch line or takes a dump.

Remember the episode of The Mighty Boosh where Whozit tracks celebrities and charges people for telling them where they are and what they are doing? Sadly, celebrities have proven only too willing to track themselves for their fans, so that business plan has come a cropper in only a few short years.

I have a hard time saying anything in 140 characters or less but here goes:

The number one question asked on Twitter: Why are all you people following me?
 
2012-03-21 04:46:31 PM
More people probably just read that last post of mine than would read it if I tweeted it (i.e, up to six). I don't know how many, really, but it's amazing to think that Twitter has made a vast fortune doing exactly what every other website and Bulletin Board in the history of the Web does: allow idiots to chatter at each other without listening.
 
2012-03-21 04:58:24 PM
Turns out historical tweets are just as uninteresting as live ones
 
2012-03-21 05:07:40 PM
the @alqaeda tweet about not falling for tweeting their location made me lol hard.

best tweet of the century.
 
2012-03-21 05:17:27 PM
There's simply no way i'd partake in an online portal where people share their thoughts on random topics. just no way.
 
2012-03-21 05:22:13 PM

Jake Havechek: Twitter is 140 characters and you're out, it's not a religion like facebook is.


Nah, Bookface is only 420 characters, which isn't all that much more, in real terms. Gee, wonder why they chose that number?
 
2012-03-21 05:26:44 PM
14 million? She sure talks a lot for a person who doesn't say anything.
 
2012-03-21 05:28:20 PM

jayhawk88: 9beers: How does Twitter make money?

Volume.


HOW DOES TWITTER MAKE MONEY?
 
2012-03-21 05:33:30 PM

gameshowhost: The best part? I've never used the retarded thing. Ever.

/yeah i've seen links to tweets
//that doesn't count
///twitter is farking stupid


Shall we hoist your chair and parade you around town?
 
2012-03-21 05:38:39 PM
I told u I was hardcore

Oh, wait.
 
2012-03-21 05:59:33 PM

gameshowhost: The best part? I've never used the retarded thing. Ever.

/yeah i've seen links to tweets
//that doesn't count
///twitter is farking stupid


Sarcasm?
 
2012-03-21 06:16:03 PM
FAIL. Article does not conform to MLA standard for Twitter citations!

Also this one is missing:

APRIL 23 2008
@CWGabriel Okay poop is coming out
 
2012-03-21 06:23:06 PM

stewbert: PunchDrunkPanda: Gig103: I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting

Ditto.

Twitter, like Facebook, YouTube, and the others, is a fantastic tool when used properly. The 1% of the time it is.

I'm hoping this thread can explain how Twitter might be useful. I still haven't figured it out. I followed some shiat a few years back, but it didn't really stick.


I don't follow twitter, and my FB account is probably highjacked buy someone else by now, but I can see it being useful for businesses and entertainers (read not anyone like the current crop of AW's that are usually written about in the 'news'). My brother has a twitter account to follow a local band he listens too. He's gotten free tickets to shows because of it.
 
2012-03-21 06:28:20 PM
@DanBeebe meltdown

THIS IS WHAT YOU BASTARDS WANTED AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET

DANNY DID NOTHING BUT HUSTLE FOR YOU BIG 12 AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET, A FORCED RESIGNATION JUST SO OKLAHOMA WILL STOP BEING BUTTHOLES. SO LISTEN UP, AND LISTEN WELL

BAYLOR, YOU ARE A HORRIBLE LITTLE PUNK OF A SCHOOL WHO'S ONE CONGRESSMAN'S HEART ATTACK AWAY FROM BEING FORCED INTO D-II

COLORADO, I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU AT ALL

IOWA STATE, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A DRAIN ON THE CONFERENCE AND ON MY SANITY. YOU ARE WORTHLESS. EVERYONE IS FLEEING YOU.

KANSAS, IF YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BIG EAST BY ALL DAMN MEANS DO SO, THEY LOVE SCHOOLS WITH GOOD BASKETBALL AND NO FOOTBALL PROGRAM WHATSOEVER

KANSAS STATE YOU ARE WORSE THAN KANSAS AT EVERYTHING, LITERALLY EVERYTHING

NEBRASKA YOU WOULD BE HAPPIER IN PRESCHOOL WHERE NOBODY HAS TO REALIZE THAT THEY'RE NOT SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKES THAT DESERVE CONSTANT HUGS

I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER THAN THE DAY NEBRASKA WEASELED OUT OF THE BIG 12 SO THEY COULD LET JIM DELANY TELL THEM HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE

TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET

BO PELINI HAS DEFINITELY KILLED A MAN BEFORE AND PROBABLY EATEN HIM, AND IF HE DIDN'T CARL DID

TOM OSBORNE PROBABLY DIED FIVE YEARS AGO AND NOBODY HAD THE HEART TO TELL HIM

OKLAHOMA, WHAT GALAXY DO YOU LIVE IN AND WHY CAN'T YOU GO PLAY SPORTS THERE INSTEAD. YOU ARE MORE OVERRATED THAN TAYLOR SWIFT'S AWFUL FACE

NOBODY CARES WHAT T. BOONE PICKENS HAS TO SAY ABOUT ANYTHING. OKLAHOMA STATE IS KANSAS STATE BUT FURTHER SOUTH IS ALL

TEXAS TECH YOU LISTENED TO THAT HOOKER-SLAUGHTERING CRETIN CRAIG JAMES OVER MIKE LEACH AND FOR THAT I HOPE THE EARTH SWALLOWS YOUR CAMPUS

TEXAS A&M, YOU ARE NEVER WINNING A TITLE IN THE SEC, NOT EVEN ONCE, AND AT LEAST 80% OF YOUR STUDENT BODY IS WEIRD.

I MEAN TEXAS A&M STUDENTS ARE THE KIND OF WEIRD WHERE YOU DON'T LEAVE THEM IN THE SAME ROOM AS HOUSE PETS UNATTENDED.

TEXAS A&M YELL LEADERS ARE BECAUSE AGGIE IS SCARED OF WOMEN SO CONGRATULATIONS FOR BRINGING SAUDI ARABIAN CULTURE TO AMERICA YOU INBREDS.

RICK PERRY IS AN AGGIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HOW IS HE EVEN ALLOWED TO LIVE ALONE AND CUT HIS OWN MEAT MUCH LESS RUN FOR PRESIDENT

I WAS TRYING TO GO MOSTLY IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BUT I FORGOT MISSOURI. IMAGINE THAT, SOMEONE FORGETTING ABOUT MISSOURI

MISSOURI THROWS MORE PANTIES THAN THE CROWD OF 8TH GRADERS AT A JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT AND YET NOBODY EVER PICKS THEM UP

AND TEXAS. GOOD OLD TEXAS.

HEY DELOSS. fark TEXAS AND fark YOU.

I DID EVERYTHING IN MY EARTHLY POWERS TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE THE MOST WELL CARED FOR SCHOOL IN NCAA HISTORY, AND FOR WHAT

WHEN IT ALL WENT DOWN YOU WERE RIGHT THERE AT THE FRONT LINE WAITING TO ABANDON ME JUST LIKE THE REST OF THESE INGRATES

OKLAHOMA AND TEXAS A&M I CAN UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THEY'RE HORRIBLE LITTLE STEPCHILDREN, BUT YOU, TEXAS? YOU?

I WAS READY TO NAME MY TESTICLES HOOKEM AND HORNS FOR YOU AND MAKE "TEXAS WITH A DOLLAR SIGN" THE NEW BIG 12 REALITY. BUT IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU AWFUL, HORRIBLE GREEDY BRATS, WAS IT

TEXAS JUST HAD TO KEEP TAKING AND TAKING AND TAKING. I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT LARRY SCOTT DID AND TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC INSTEAD

I HOPE A CLOUD OF PURE DIARRHEA OPENS UP OVER DKR AND FILLS THAT PLACE TO THE BRIM DURING YOUR NEXT GAME

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE BURNT ORANGE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. IT LOOKS LIKE BABY POOP

TEXAS IS GOING TO BE LONELY FOREVER AND THAT'S STILL A FATE BETTER THAN IT DESERVES

NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR EYES. YOU STOLE THAT SONG FROM A CHILDRENS SONG RT @chisoxfan30: @DanBeebe the eyes of Texas are upon you. #hookem

THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPONNN YOUU... ALLLL THE LIVE LONG DAYYYYYY. YOU HAVE TO SING YOUR FIGHT SONG ALONG TO "I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD" AND YOU EXPECT ANYBODY TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CITY OF AUSTIN DID TO DESERVE HAVING SUCH A HORRIBLE BUNCH OF HYPER-PRIVILEGED BRATS OVERTAKE IT BUT IT CAN'T BE GOOD. CAN WE NUKE AUSTIN? IS THAT APPROPRIATE? IT'S PROBABLY APPROPRIATE

I'M OUT. I'M NEVER COMMISSIONERING ANOTHER CONFERENCE EVER AGAIN. COLLEGE SPORTS ARE TO COLLEGE WHAT GENITAL WARTS ARE TO GENITALS

ENJOY YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE CONFERENCE, "BIG 12." I HOPE YOU FAIL. I'M OUT. GOODBYE.
 
2012-03-21 06:29:24 PM

Unoriginal_Username: I don't follow twitter, and my FB account is probably highjacked buy someone else by now, but I can see it being useful for businesses and entertainers (read not anyone like the current crop of AW's that are usually written about in the 'news'). My brother has a twitter account to follow a local band he listens too. He's gotten free tickets to shows because of it.


I used to hate Twitter, but I like it a heck of a lot more now than Facebook. It's a fun little tool.
 
2012-03-21 06:32:15 PM
Nothing about the entire Iranian uprising, eh?
 
2012-03-21 06:36:21 PM
I signed up on Twitter to send a test tweet to my wife, who was testing some kind of twitter idea at work. One tweet. I thus abandoned it for a few years, but every now and then get a message that so and so is following me. I now have 32 followers. I visit their page and realize I have no idea who they are, or why they would want to follow me. Perhaps they want to sell me something, etc... Frankly, it's kind of creepy and I think they deserve a little payback. So, in my idle time, I've been trying to come up with a sequence of tweets that would draw these people into a wild goose chase. Something on the order of "It's a mad mad mad mad world" type chase, whereby, I get a gist of their location, tweet something like "I'm too far, if you can get there I'll split loot with you" type thing and then have them jump through any number of wild hoops. I probably need to get into a car crash and be laid up for a week to play this out, but every now and then I add an idea to the file. But one day, it will be glorious.

/yes, I may be evil
 
2012-03-21 06:50:37 PM
Wasn't there a NY Congressman who had to resign over some crap he did on Twitter? You'd think that would be kind of a big deal.
 
2012-03-21 06:50:55 PM
Lot of old men yelling at clouds in this thread.
 
2012-03-21 06:56:56 PM
My CSB --

Because I followed @NASA on twitter, I was able to go see the final shuttle launch from the press site, three miles away.

It was pretty cool. And loud.
 
2012-03-21 07:10:51 PM
Rabble Rabble!!
 
2012-03-21 07:22:45 PM

stewbert: PunchDrunkPanda: Gig103: I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting

Ditto.

Twitter, like Facebook, YouTube, and the others, is a fantastic tool when used properly. The 1% of the time it is.

I'm hoping this thread can explain how Twitter might be useful. I still haven't figured it out. I followed some shiat a few years back, but it didn't really stick.


Traffic updates. Transit updates.

That's about all I use it for, because I hate getting stuck in traffic or on the tube if I can avoid it.
 
2012-03-21 07:54:13 PM
Mentat wins this thread. Also, if you can't appreciate the awesomeness that is @DadBoner I feel sorry for you.
 
2012-03-21 07:54:13 PM
Nothing about the Iran election protests, which pretty much made the damn website, yet they included someone using the term twit-rape about five years after "frape" had been invented, as if it was somehow a novel thing.
 
Slu
2012-03-21 08:16:48 PM

Jake Havechek: Twitter is 140 characters and you're out, it's not a religion like facebook is.


So much this. I setup a Twitter account to tweet pictures and video of my baby. So easy to post stuff from my phone and send one URL to parents and grand-parents and just say "bookmark this". I have managed to keep up with it and family loves it.

I view twitter as a super concise blog. If I think of it as that, it makes much more sense. If you treat it like facebook, it probably isn't going to work out for you.
 
2012-03-21 08:28:25 PM

Jake Havechek: I haven't been there since they changed the format. Farking hate the new layout.


You'll get over it



/really? nobody else beat me to that?
 
2012-03-21 08:41:04 PM

Ambitwistor: GameSprocket: Nothing from anyone in the tsunami?

From someone in the tsunami? Probably not.

"@drowningguy glub glub glu"


@drowningguy help downing
@drowningguy help doing
@drowningguy hell dropping
@drowningguy damn you autocorrect!!!!!
 
2012-03-21 09:30:31 PM

gameshowhost: The best part? I've never used the retarded thing. Ever.


I agree. That is the best part of Twitter.
 
2012-03-21 10:10:06 PM

stewbert: PunchDrunkPanda: Gig103: I actually did find the tweeting of the Osama Bin Laden raid interesting

Ditto.

Twitter, like Facebook, YouTube, and the others, is a fantastic tool when used properly. The 1% of the time it is.

I'm hoping this thread can explain how Twitter might be useful. I still haven't figured it out. I followed some shiat a few years back, but it didn't really stick.


It was very useful here in New Zealand in the immediate aftermath of the Christchurch earthquake. The hashtag #eqnz is a great source of information when there were few journalists on the ground. I went to a presentation given by one of the information officers of the US embassy in Tokyo and they made great use of Twitter in the aftermath of the earthquake and tsunami. In one case it actually saved a life when a woman tweeted from the rubble.
 
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