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(College Humor)   10 reasons why The Walking Dead should kill Carl. "Worst Child Actor Since Jake Lloyd" strangely missing   (collegehumor.com) divider line 449
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11711 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Mar 2012 at 10:43 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-21 08:44:51 PM
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-03-21 08:46:06 PM

Kar98: Damn that show sucks even more so in comparison.


Walking Dead as a comic actually plays to one of Kirkman's strengths. He's good at establishing a premise and characters, and he does a good job of creating dramatic tension. He's really, really bad at actually letting anything reach a denouement. Walking Dead works as a comic because it's interminable and more things will always need to happen next month.

I don't think Walking Dead succeeds as a TV show in part because the arcs as planned in the comics don't really work in a traditional "first act, second act, third act, conclusion" sense and like it or not, the comics are the template for the show.

/Insofar as I watch the show at all, it's mostly because I love the scoring. Dunno if I mentioned that up in this thread.
 
2012-03-21 08:46:44 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-03-21 08:47:26 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-03-21 08:53:11 PM

bukketmaster: he pacing is a lot faster


Bear in mind you're reading them as you have them, not at the pace as they were published.
 
2012-03-21 08:55:55 PM

likefunbutnot: /Insofar as I watch the show at all, it's mostly because I love the scoring. Dunno if I mentioned that up in this thread.


I quit watching and just read the episode summaries on Wikipedia a while ago. Still on the farm, looking for Sophia, on the farm, some farm scenes, wandering through the woods around the farm, stables, barn, farm...
 
2012-03-21 08:57:21 PM
OMAHAWG WINS *EVERYTHING*

Great work!


szyzk: Rev. Skarekroe: CHICKEN SANDWICH, CARL!!!

YOU MISERABLE, DISGUSTING FAILURE!


HEY, CARL!

GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND GET THE MAN A GRAPE SODA, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!


ko_kyi: TMLO


*tips hat*

Howdy!
 
2012-03-21 09:01:32 PM
This thread is golden.
 
2012-03-21 09:05:07 PM
We all seem to be in agreement of WHY the kid should die but what about HOW ?

crasstalk.com

Special guest appearance ?
 
2012-03-21 09:07:15 PM
My wife is hoping that Lori's 'aha' moment is when a zombie grabs Lori by the roots and pulls a big chunk of her scalp off.

I am hoping Lori's 'aha' moment comes when Carl kills her out of spite.
 
2012-03-21 09:07:21 PM

Omahawg: [s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 425x949]


aight, that one PWNS so hard. I think you just won the thread, right there.
 
2012-03-21 09:08:03 PM

kumanoki: I am hoping Lori's 'aha' moment comes when Carl Rick kills her out of spite.



oh yeah, I wanna go there.
 
2012-03-21 09:12:21 PM
So the part that interests me about these types of movies is the technobable 'mythos'. The CDC bit and the fact that everyone is infected, you die you Zed no matter how you get it. I know it's a "drama" but could we at least get some background into this infection, where it started, maybe some Army intelligence people lost wandering around. Hell you just killed off 1/3 of your 'main' cast.
 
2012-03-21 09:12:48 PM
weknowmemes.com
 
2012-03-21 09:14:25 PM

Mentat: Nix Nightbird: and the people who read "The Zombie Survival Guide" and "World War Z" and then came into it believing that zombie stories are supposed be survivalist porn

Oh, and you might be too "old school" to know this, but Max Brooks put a chapter in WWZ that satirized the survivalist porn mentality.


How is that entire book anything BUT survivalist porn ? Isn't the story of the celebrity house massacre TOLD to the reader by one of the Blackwater-esque security guards ? The only parody there is the lesson of "never subcontract out survival"
 
2012-03-21 09:15:16 PM
28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-03-21 09:17:06 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-03-21 09:19:17 PM

Mentat: [img521.imageshack.us image 640x458]


Holy fark that is awesome.
 
2012-03-21 09:20:07 PM
img705.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-21 09:21:18 PM

Mentat: [img705.imageshack.us image 330x1100]



AWESOME!
 
2012-03-21 09:25:12 PM
So, Season 3 predictions?

Mine is that Daryl gets reunited with his brother. It goes something....like this:

*After Daryl and T-Dogg get captured investigating Woodbury*
Merle: Look at you, little brother. You're weak, just like you've always been.
Daryl: Naw I ain't. I told you that climbing up the hill, 'member?"
Merle: Huh? Look, whatchoo doin hanging out with this ni-*expletive deleted*? He ain't kin....
Daryl: Well, you're an a-hole.
Merle: Well, I'm gonna see how loud your T-doggy can howl.
*Merle tortures T-dogg, cuts off hand, blood, pain, has zombie bite him, terrible death*
Daryl: He didn't deserve that. If I get loose I'ma kill you.
Merle: Oho. Please.

*Andrea and Michonne free Daryl. Daryl kills Merle. Tornado of Woodbury death. Scene*
 
2012-03-21 09:25:31 PM

Apos: Mentat: [img705.imageshack.us image 330x1100]


AWESOME!


I've got a million of them.

img411.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-21 09:28:43 PM

Mentat: [img705.imageshack.us image 330x1100]


This one's a riot.
 
2012-03-21 09:31:17 PM

Omahawg: [28.media.tumblr.com image 500x336]


Please put this on the same picture:

"'Mask you sumpthin...

...Lori...she put out?"
 
2012-03-21 09:33:33 PM
thankfully michonne will be played by a native Iowan (new window)
 
2012-03-21 09:33:51 PM

kumanoki: "'Mask you sumpthin...

...Lori...she put out?"


She always seems pretty put out when she loses Carl.
 
2012-03-21 09:35:01 PM

darkscout: So the part that interests me about these types of movies is the technobable 'mythos'. The CDC bit and the fact that everyone is infected, you die you Zed no matter how you get it.


In the letters page of his comic (and Kirkman prints and replies to pretty much every letter he gets), he basically said that since neither the collapse of civilization nor the background of his characters lends to investigation or scientific discovery, he really had no plans at all to discuss those particulars in his world.

The setting for current issues of the book is somewhere in or around Washington D.C., and I suspect that if there were a time for Rick and crew to encounter someone able to provide more details, it would be there.
 
2012-03-21 09:37:21 PM

RKTeuthis: What a House Carl might look like:

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 356x356]

/low hanging fruit


I'd stay in the housecarl.
 
2012-03-21 09:40:14 PM
CARL! GET IN THE HOUSE CARL!
 
2012-03-21 09:42:35 PM

kumanoki: SigilBear: Drew Hates Boobies: Yeah, female Poochie will definitely turn the show around.

And that cutesy-cutsey, passive-agressive, holier-than-thou shiat makes you sound like an @$$hole.


24.media.tumblr.com

/Way to take the high gound, Brah.
 
2012-03-21 09:45:56 PM

Drew Hates Boobies: kumanoki: SigilBear: Drew Hates Boobies: Yeah, female Poochie will definitely turn the show around.

And that cutesy-cutsey, passive-agressive, holier-than-thou shiat makes you sound like an @$$hole.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 409x352]

/Way to take the high gound, Brah.


High-ground? This is Fark.

I like the ponies better.
 
2012-03-21 09:52:37 PM
Please keep the lolzombies coming
 
2012-03-21 09:53:39 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-21 09:53:39 PM

kumanoki: I appreciate dissenting opinion. I do know a troll when I see one, though.
I'm not asking for haters to GTFO. I just don't need to hear about it every time some retard stops watching the show in disgust. Great. You don't watch it anymore. Stop posting.


30.media.tumblr.com

Who died and made you Mod? I'll post as much as I like, and you can go fark yourself in Macy's store window, Fanboi.

-kthxdie.
 
2012-03-21 09:55:12 PM
Lori's got those eyes that make you realize she'd be an excellent crazy-lay.
 
2012-03-21 09:57:25 PM

Lando Lincoln: TV's Vinnie: Can't wait till this Fall when everyone's "OMG OMG OMG GOVERNOR! MICHONNE AND THE GOVERNOR! THIRD SEASON IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME! THIS IS GONNA KICK SO MUCH ASS!" turns into "What in the F*CK is this stupid retarded sh*t?"

Yeah, that will be totally awesome when people who want to like a show won't like it anymore, just like how you don't like it. And then you can be all, "Ha! I hated it WAAAY before you guys hated it!" and then we'll be all, "Yeah, you are really cool after all!" and then we'll all sit around and talk about how cool you are and how we want to be more like you, and then you'll feel really good about yourself.


I think I love you now. Thanks for that.
 
2012-03-21 10:24:25 PM
img100.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-21 10:45:23 PM

TNel: My bet is the baby will come out as a zombie and eat her.


My bet is that the baby will eat his way out of her.
 
2012-03-21 11:03:46 PM
Carl's dream was to one day open a casino. But that casino would be bankrupt in 24 hours, because the house never wins.
 
2012-03-21 11:08:24 PM

kumanoki: The Goddamn Batman: SPOILER ALERT

When Rick and Hershel drove by Andrea as they were leaving the farm, I was really hoping to hear a faint "fark you, Andrea!" coming from their truck.

Andrea: "W- wait!"

Herschel: "Dueces, biaaaaaaaaaatch!"


I lol'd... woke up the dog. Now she wants food... fatty.

/would lol again
 
2012-03-21 11:10:49 PM

Nix Nightbird: News Flash: Rick's group consists of a battered housewife, a 12-year-old kid, a retired veterinarian, a redneck with a crossbow, a black guy from the city who never talks, a psychotic soccer mom, a love-struck Korean delivery boy, a suicidal teenage girl, a country chick, and (maybe) an unhinged white woman who only learned to shoot about a month ago.


I could work with that.

I used to belong to a survivalist group. I left because if anything had happened, I'm pretty sure I would've been one of the first ones the alpha dawgs would've killed for his supplies and equipment. Their survival plan was looting every Mormon home for twenty miles and teaching Blacks how to pick cotton again ("They jus' need a boot to the ass to straighten them out").

You could trust Rick's group pretty much.
 
2012-03-21 11:32:45 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: [i.imgur.com image 640x450]


Damn dude...that was hilarious.
 
2012-03-21 11:56:51 PM

Coelacanth: I used to belong to a survivalist group. I left because if anything had happened, I'm pretty sure I would've been one of the first ones the alpha dawgs would've killed for his supplies and equipment. Their survival plan was looting every Mormon home for twenty miles and teaching Blacks how to pick cotton again ("They jus' need a boot to the ass to straighten them out").


You know, I suspect most of those alpha dogs would die of tetanus or septicemia within a week.
 
2012-03-22 12:30:53 AM

Mentat: You know, I suspect most of those alpha dogs would die of tetanus or septicemia within a week.


All the medical kits had hardbound Bibles and not much else in them.
 
2012-03-22 12:37:37 AM
s3.amazonaws.com

heh
 
2012-03-22 12:38:35 AM

Lando Lincoln: FLMountainMan: Mentat: Nix Nightbird: Where is he supposed to get these weapons, ammo, armor, tools, fortresses, fortifications and other things from? And WHO in his group is capable of fulfilling your survival fantasy?

Now that you're done sniffing your own farts, it actually isn't too difficult to set up some basic fortifications. We're not talking about building a medieval castle, just putting up a fence and some barricades. It won't stop a determined assault by humans or a mass walker attack, but just about anything would buy you some time.

Hell, go to a Florida beachhouse on stilts (many of which have generators, wells, and stocked up food for hurricanes anyway). Run some ladders as walkways between a couple. Cut off the stairs, use other ladders retractably to come and go and you're fine. Kill time by firing directly downward into the skulls of the zombies milling about below.

How hard would it be to get on the second floor overhang of the farm house and just stab zombies in the head with a pike? The only way that this plan would fail is if the zombie body pile gets so high around the house that the zombies are able to crawl on the zombie pile to get at you.


However, one angry looter with a box of matches and a bottle of scotch could burn down your stilt-house and kill you pretty easily.

The world is filled with about 6.8 billion walking corpses and a few million crazy, traumatized, violent, tough-enough-to-survive-this-long, rioting, looting, people. Resources are tapped. People are desperate. Nowhere is safe.

Here's why I get pissy when Max Brooks fans talk about "surviving" the "Zed" apocalypse: A good zombie story doesn't have a happy ending where everyone survives. A good zombie story instead makes it clear that there is no surviving and that, in the end, everyone will die. The inevitability of it makes the story about staying alive for a while and enjoying what little time you have, or squandering it in struggles with other people (which is usually what happens). But make no mistake... The protagonists in a good zombie story are doomed.

What makes WWZ suck is that in the end they've fought off the threat and the world is getting back to normal. It makes the entire event no more than just another war, albeit with a different sort of enemy. In fact, if you really look at it, WWZ is just a re-telling of War of the Worlds. Brooks' zombies could have been aliens, for all their origin and physical makeup mattered to the story. In WWZ, they're just "the enemy force" and the point was to defeat them.

In Romero's flicks, the zombies are a force of nature. They're the inevitable disaster that washes across the world. They're a disaster of Biblical proportions, you might say. Everyone (or nearly everyone) dies by the end of the movie, and it's usually because the living people couldn't stop fighting among themselves.

In the Savini remake of NOTLD, Barbara survives, but she makes the observation that the world is basically f√cked and those who made it past the first night alive are barbarians, violent miscreants, and people of limited conscience. "They are us. We are them, and they are us." -- The people who lived are as much monsters as the ghouls they dispatched.

Dawn of the Dead (the new one) follows Romero's "everybody dies" idea, too. The group makes their heroic getaway to an island, only to be slaughtered when they arrive after an unknown period of time with limited food, water, and shelter on the open sea.

28 Weeks Later basically invalidates the "happy ending" of 28 Days Later by saying that, YES, the Rage Virus will continue to spread, and humanity is pretty much doomed. It can't be contained.

Zombies are not meant to be monsters that you fight. They're meant to be an out-of-control fire that engulfs the Earth, and you can't fight that. Sure, you can try, but you will ultimately lose. The characters in a good zombie story know they're doomed, but they want to hang on to every second of life they can.

The Walking Dead makes that bleakness the central theme. Everyone is ineffectual and half-crazy because they've all been faced with the realization that it's DONE. They can't "save the world" or even defend themselves for long. The fight is over. The world is already covered in the "flames" and all they can do is find a shady spot and hope to stay there long enough to have a shower, a decent meal, and the company of other non-decomposing people whom they know won't try to rape them, kill them, and take all their shiat.

There will be no "Battle of Yonkers" in The Walking Dead. There will be no grand victory. The walkers will ALWAYS overpower the group, ALWAYS kill them off, and they will ALWAYS be there.

Their world is burning. The show is about how they cope with that reality; Not about how they're going to change the status quo, find happiness, or hunker down and be safe some day.

Because honestly: Who the hell wants to watch a show where people dig trenches, build walls, and stack supplies before they lock themselves inside of a bunker and remain safe and quiet for an undetermined amount of time? How is that interesting? How is that at all entertaining?

If I want to watch people build shiat and talk about the stopping power of weapons, I'll switch to The History Channel or Discovery and catch one of their lame reality shows. If I want character-driven drama about mentally-unstable people coping with the death of the world, I'll watch The Walking Dead.

That's my opinion, anyway. You are more than welcome to disagree.

However, this remains certain: The Walking Dead is never going to be a survivalist fantasy show, nor is it going to be a balls-to-the-wall action show about zombie kills and badass characters who strike poses while doing wuxia gunfighting tricks. It's a horror-drama. It will remain a horror-drama. If that doesn't fall in line with what you want, then move on. Nobody's forcing you to watch.

The show will never be the TV version of The Zombie Survival Guide. The characters are genre-blind and emotionally fractured; That's kind of the whole point.
 
2012-03-22 12:40:37 AM
30.media.tumblr.com

problem solved
 
2012-03-22 01:18:51 AM

Nix Nightbird: In Romero's flicks, the zombies are a force of nature. They're the inevitable disaster that washes across the world. They're a disaster of Biblical proportions, you might say. Everyone (or nearly everyone) dies by the end of the movie, and it's usually because the living people couldn't stop fighting among themselves.


That's always seemed a little unrealistic to me. If it was basic human nature to constantly fight among ourselves when our backs are up against the wall, we would have died off back when we were living in caves and the world was full of hungry creatures with saber teeth, instead of inventing civilization.
 
2012-03-22 01:25:43 AM

Nix Nightbird: However, one angry looter with a box of matches and a bottle of scotch could burn down your stilt-house and kill you pretty easily.


img219.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-22 01:27:36 AM
img577.imageshack.us
 
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