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(Daily Mail)   Goose bumps and yawning? You might be a terrorist   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 59
    More: Stupid, Homeland Security, counter-terrorism, medical doctors  
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6213 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2012 at 2:40 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-17 02:38:36 PM
Are you breathing? You may be a terrorist.
 
2012-03-17 02:42:23 PM
Are you not breathing? You may be a Zombie Terrorist
 
2012-03-17 02:44:32 PM
Maybe I'm fidgety and nervous because, not only am I afraid of flying, but I have to go through some insane security, including taking off my damn shoes, because of TERRORISTS and your loudspeaker announcements constantly remind me that TERRORISTS might just bring down the plane.
 
2012-03-17 02:46:31 PM
Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2.
 
2012-03-17 02:47:48 PM
What about boners? Are they still kosher?
 
2012-03-17 02:48:10 PM
i0.kym-cdn.com

Just lock us all up and get it over with.....................this is ridiculous
 
2012-03-17 02:51:15 PM

Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?


It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?
 
2012-03-17 02:51:22 PM
So, what happens when I suddenly get red in anger, bloodshot eyes, and start gnashing the teeth and yelling "Get the plane ready now, god damn it!".
 
2012-03-17 02:53:23 PM
Excessive clock watching and fidgeting could be a sign that you are a) running late and concerned about making your flight, b) annoyed that the idiot at the front of the line is being a pita and holding everyone up, or c) you're a terrorist.

Yes, definitely C. It's the only reasonable answer.
 
2012-03-17 02:53:24 PM

cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?


It's usually scratching someone's ears ahead of me.
 
2012-03-17 02:55:07 PM
What a potential terrorist might look like:
www.southbayriders.com
 
2012-03-17 02:56:02 PM

Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?

It's usually scratching someone's ears ahead of me.


Then yes... you are a terrorist. :P
 
2012-03-17 02:56:04 PM
Seems more legit than feeling up grandma and little kids though.

//SCIENCE!
 
2012-03-17 02:56:56 PM
Well, before 9/11, three government agencies got together to discus who should be considered suspicious. One though people getting of a plane first were suspicious, because they were obviously in a hurry. Another thought that people getting off last were suspicious, because they were obviously hanging back, checking things out. And the last agency said that people getting off in the middle were suspicious, because they were obviously trying to appear normal to lose themselves in the crowd.
 
2012-03-17 02:57:04 PM

duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2 wasted a lot of political capital and time in a hopeless effort to get Congress to repeal the Patriot Act, but had better things to do like passing health care. Just as good as Clinton, without the boner trouble.

FTFY
 
2012-03-17 03:00:47 PM

Savage Belief: What a potential terrorist might look like:
[www.southbayriders.com image 210x288]


I nominate myself to frisk her for weapons.............
 
2012-03-17 03:00:49 PM

cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?

It's usually scratching someone's ears ahead of me.

Then yes... you are a terrorist. :P


Terrorists should be well and truly hung.
 
2012-03-17 03:01:04 PM
The DailyFail is the common nickname for that site, right?
I swear, I had to check the URL to see if I was reading Alex Jones's Prison Planet or info wars sites.
 
2012-03-17 03:01:13 PM
Had to look at the address bar to make completely sure it wasn't linked to the onion.
 
2012-03-17 03:01:45 PM
Looks like the beginning of a new Foxworthy routine.

If your at the airport... You might be a terrorist.
 
2012-03-17 03:02:16 PM

Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?

It's usually scratching someone's ears ahead of me.

Then yes... you are a terrorist. :P

Terrorists should be well and truly hung.


They need to be because of all the virgins they get later.
 
2012-03-17 03:03:29 PM

mbillips: duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2 wasted a lot of political capital and time in a hopeless effort to get Congress to repeal the Patriot Act, but had better things to do like passing health care. Just as good as Clinton, without the boner trouble. FTFY


So your arguement is that "it's too hard" and that he should not have made the effort because he had better things to do. Nice logic there, turbo.
 
2012-03-17 03:03:40 PM

cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?

It's usually scratching someone's ears ahead of me.

Then yes... you are a terrorist. :P

Terrorists should be well and truly hung.

They need to be because of all the virgins they get later.


I kin haz virginz?
 
2012-03-17 03:04:24 PM

Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: cowgirl toffee: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

It depends... are you yawning or touching your ears when you get the boner?

It's usually scratching someone's ears ahead of me.

Then yes... you are a terrorist. :P

Terrorists should be well and truly hung.

They need to be because of all the virgins they get later.

I kin haz virginz?


Ummmm....
 
2012-03-17 03:05:32 PM
www.availableimages.com

They seemed harmless enough as a kid.
 
2012-03-17 03:05:35 PM
It says the 'signs will become particularly evident in a person's eyes, face, neck and body movements,' the department lists some of the following descriptions as warning signs to watch out for.

Good thing the TSA doesn't allow people to wear any sort of full head-covering in security lines, then...

//
 
2012-03-17 03:06:17 PM
I remember the first time I visited Vegas, when I left I stunk, was unshaven, hungover/still drunk and just had that overall 'drained' look. The tsa guy took one look at me as we were about to aboard and passed me by.
 
2012-03-17 03:12:24 PM

irving47: The DailyFail is the common nickname for that site, right?
I swear, I had to check the URL to see if I was reading Alex Jones's Prison Planet or info wars sites.


Prison Planet is running a similar story.

/Mom posted it on Facebook today
 
2012-03-17 03:12:55 PM
The TSA has become the bureaucratic personification of a Jeff Foxworthy stand-up act.

"If you sweat when it's hot, you might be a terrorist."

"If you shiver when it's cold, you might be a terrorist."

"If you express impatience with unnecessary delays, you might be a terrorist."

"If you are frustrated by inane, arcane, insane, no-brain regulations, you might be a terrorist."

"If you feel compelled to maintain your personal dignity and integrity in the face of panicked, reactionary policies established in secret by government officials more concerned with maintaining their public image than in actually protecting the safety and well-being of the people they were elected or hired to serve, you are definitely a terrorist."
 
2012-03-17 03:13:32 PM
I have the same symptoms when I go through alcohol withdrawl.
 
2012-03-17 03:20:29 PM

ohmikey: I have the same symptoms when I go through alcohol withdrawl.


So you're an alcoholic terrorist.
/the worst kind of turrest
 
2012-03-17 03:34:29 PM

Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?


Only if it's cut.
 
2012-03-17 03:37:33 PM

mbillips: duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2 wasted a lot of political capital and time in a hopeless effort to get Congress to repeal the Patriot Act, but had better things to do like passing health care. Just as good as Clinton, without the boner trouble. FTFY


How much political capital would it have cost when the Dems controlled the White House and the Senate and The House until 2010?
 
2012-03-17 03:38:52 PM
I'm amazed I didn't get locked up on January 19, 1991. My parents were coming back from a trip to Belize, and I spent almost the entire day hanging around Reagan International to drive them home. That was the day that Eastern Airlines shut down.

I happened to have a flu, and so I'm sweating, looking shaky and pale, constantly checking my pager and using the payphone to figure out what was up with my parent's flight home. I also had a long beard at the time and did I mention that this was two days after Desert Shield became Desert Storm, and the place was crawling with National Guardsmen setting up security barriers?

It was sort of the perfect storm of looking suspicious.
 
2012-03-17 03:39:09 PM

sno man: Thudfark: What about boners? Are they still kosher?

Only if it's cut.


Looks down. No problem.
 
2012-03-17 03:39:21 PM
I tried to warn you. Nobody would listen.
 
2012-03-17 03:40:09 PM
Existing is a sign that you're a terrorist.
 
2012-03-17 03:40:50 PM

duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2.


Soooooo........Santorum/Palin 2012?
 
2012-03-17 04:07:38 PM

duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2.


repeal it? hitler didn't get invaded by poland for nothing. 9-11 cost big and they never will cease riding that wave.

successively worse in leaps and bounds with each passing president. one can count on the worst things in life.

/using toilet paper? = terrorist
 
2012-03-17 04:42:01 PM

CygnusDarius: So, what happens when I suddenly get red in anger, bloodshot eyes, and start gnashing the teeth and yelling "Get the plane ready now, god damn it!".


HULK SMASH!
 
2012-03-17 04:50:45 PM

maxheck: I'm amazed I didn't get locked up on January 19, 1991. My parents were coming back from a trip to Belize, and I spent almost the entire day hanging around Reagan International to drive them home. That was the day that Eastern Airlines shut down.

I happened to have a flu, and so I'm sweating, looking shaky and pale, constantly checking my pager and using the payphone to figure out what was up with my parent's flight home. I also had a long beard at the time and did I mention that this was two days after Desert Shield became Desert Storm, and the place was crawling with National Guardsmen setting up security barriers?

It was sort of the perfect storm of looking suspicious.


If that had happened post 9/11 you might have been regarded with suspiciousion, but thankfully TSA didn't exist in 1991.
 
2012-03-17 04:58:53 PM
Repetitious behavior, such as constant eye-blinking, and inhaling/exhaling, is also a clear sign that you are up to no good.
 
2012-03-17 05:11:57 PM

TV's Vinnie: duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2.

Soooooo........Santorum/Palin 2012?


Santorum/Limbaugh 2012.
 
2012-03-17 05:21:50 PM

Death_Poot: Savage Belief: What a potential terrorist might look like:
[www.southbayriders.com image 210x288]

I nominate myself to frisk her for weapons.............


By the time they finish running her back through the X-ray to check for suspicious fuzzy areas her plane will have left and her hair will be falling out from radiation sickness. Don't get behind this woman in the cattle chute or you'll never make your flight.
 
2012-03-17 05:27:25 PM

CygnusDarius: TV's Vinnie: duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2.

Soooooo........Santorum/Palin 2012?

Santorum/Limbaugh 2012.


Santorum/Horse Smegma 2012
 
2012-03-17 05:45:32 PM
" evident in a person's eyes, face, neck and body movements".......doesn't leave much,does it?
 
2012-03-17 06:16:58 PM

AliceBToklasLives: CygnusDarius: TV's Vinnie: duffblue: Obama could have repealed the patriot act but chose not to, just as bad as bush 2.

Soooooo........Santorum/Palin 2012?

Santorum/Limbaugh 2012.

Santorum/Horse Smegma 2012


Santorum/Pus 2012
 
2012-03-17 06:24:53 PM
If I have a bad headache, I tend to be a bit feverish and shaky. My eyes are probably glazed, and yawning a lot sometimes helps. (No idea why.) So I guess no flying with a headache for me.

/Whatever, I prefer the train.
 
2012-03-17 06:38:58 PM

irving47: The DailyFail is the common nickname for that site, right?
I swear, I had to check the URL to see if I was reading Alex Jones's Prison Planet or info wars sites.


I'm sure a list on the Daily Fail is totally reliable and not at all taken out of context or edited for maximum idiocy.
 
2012-03-17 06:56:25 PM
It has been written: You may be a terrorist if you use your left hand for toilet paper, yet consider pigs as unclean.
 
2012-03-17 07:37:17 PM
The criminalization of the entire human race continues unabated.
 
2012-03-17 11:26:32 PM

mbillips: Just as good as Clinton, without the boner trouble. FTFY


Uh, if you're defending Obama, you may wanna rethink that analogy. Clinton had his hand in the current state of this country because of his repeal of Glass-Steagall act. He had his share of non-boner related fark ups.
 
2012-03-18 12:06:37 AM
It's plane (swidt) that these people have never been to an airport without flashing a badge and walking around "Security" to relax in their Tax Paid For Business Class Seats.

If you have a pulse you are probably a "TerroristTM". The only thing worse than these Everybody is a "TerroristTM" idiots is the "They are just trying to keep me SAFE" idiots.
 
2012-03-18 12:43:53 AM

ex-nuke: The only thing worse than these Everybody is a "TerroristTM" idiots is the "They are just trying to keep me SAFE" idiots.


"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Still one of my favorite quotes.

These wanna-be profilers would make me laugh if they weren't so infuriating. Every behavior they mentioned is a manifestation of about a million different things (for instance FEAR OF FLYING perhaps??). The truth is the only requirements for being terrorists are being human and pissed off about something. Terrorist are merely those who feel powerless to change things and they become disenfranchised (or in some cases brainwashed) and begin to believe that violence is their only course of action. The psychology doesn't get more human than that. So yes, ANYONE can be a terrorist. What is the point, then, of just picking out random people displaying normal human behaviors and drilling them in hopes that maybe you'll be able to catch ONE terrorist this way? Other than "it's fun to lord over people with our little fake police badges", I mean...



(Also, your use of the unregistered trademark after "Terrorist" made me lol. It's sadly gotten to the point that the fear of terrorists they're selling really has become the US Government's main trademark product...)
 
2012-03-18 02:41:49 AM
Anyone ever taken a 6am flight? Every single person on board, including the flight crew, are potential terrorists!

=======================================

That being said, the TSA is the best thing to happen to airline security in this country. How many terrorists have taken over a single plane originating in the United States since the inception of the TSA? Zero! Yep, not a single one! Choke on that all you haters!

Not only is the TSA doing their job, but they are doing a damn good job!

:-D
 
2012-03-18 03:19:53 AM

Mock26: That being said, the TSA is the best thing to happen to airline security in this country. How many terrorists have taken over a single plane originating in the United States since the inception of the TSA? Zero! Yep, not a single one! Choke on that all you haters!

Not only is the TSA doing their job, but they are doing a damn good job!

:-D


Sarcasm or outright trolling? If it's the latter, 0/10.
 
Skr
2012-03-18 05:00:00 AM
That read like an article by The Onion -_-
 
2012-03-18 10:55:19 AM
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-03-18 02:00:17 PM

batcookie: Mock26: That being said, the TSA is the best thing to happen to airline security in this country. How many terrorists have taken over a single plane originating in the United States since the inception of the TSA? Zero! Yep, not a single one! Choke on that all you haters!

Not only is the TSA doing their job, but they are doing a damn good job!

:-D

Sarcasm or outright trolling? If it's the latter, 0/10.


Joke. Note the big grin smiling face. :-D
 
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