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(Washington Post)   25 recipes under 500 calories, which still add up to 12,500 when you eat ALL OF THEM, lardass   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 47
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8726 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2012 at 3:54 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-17 03:57:33 PM
nuh-uh. If X is less than 500, then X *25 is less than 12,500, and Paula Deen is President.
 
2012-03-17 04:01:05 PM
These recipes look great, but I'd have to double or triple the quantities to get the calories I need. Should be pretty easy though.
 
2012-03-17 04:03:35 PM
Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!
 
2012-03-17 04:09:21 PM
Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!


Brofist.
 
2012-03-17 04:13:35 PM
You guys sound fat
 
2012-03-17 04:15:02 PM
not counting the effort expended for said lardass to consume those 12,500 calories
 
2012-03-17 04:19:05 PM
Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!


I disagree, but lemon and pork does suck, and that's the first fricking one. Ew. I like lemon in chicken and fish dishes, and it goes well with asparagus, but lemon and pork is not a pleasant combination. Especially with oregano.
/But, eat what you like.
//I like pork with blackcurrant or peaches, if it has to be fruited up
 
2012-03-17 04:20:21 PM
I used way too many calories clicking that. I feel faint.


BEER ME!
 
2012-03-17 04:23:15 PM
LabGrrl: Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!

I disagree, but lemon and pork does suck, and that's the first fricking one. Ew. I like lemon in chicken and fish dishes, and it goes well with asparagus, but lemon and pork is not a pleasant combination. Especially with oregano.
/But, eat what you like.
//I like pork with blackcurrant or peaches, if it has to be fruited up


I made a really great pork loin roast the other day. It was wrapped in bacon, and topped with apple butter. I highly recommend it.
 
2012-03-17 04:26:56 PM
When I was a kid my girlfriend at the time had a mom with a serious weight problem. She was easily 400+ lbs and could barely walk. She decided that a certain brand of pre-manufactured weight loss food was the answer. So she started the program, and instead of actually following it, would eat maybe ten or twelve of them in a sitting, two or three times in a day. She would go on serious rants about how it wasn't helping and she was actually gaining weight eating that crap.

You can't fix stupid...
 
2012-03-17 04:38:32 PM
I guess I'm shocked that someone has to point out that there are recipes under 500 calories.
 
2012-03-17 04:47:10 PM
Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!


I'm broken in many weird ways, but in this case it's because I don't like citrus. I don't like the flavor and the smell nauseates me.

I'm with you on this one.
 
2012-03-17 04:50:30 PM
Too bad they photographed the whole slideshow at CSI studios...
 
2012-03-17 04:57:24 PM
I can't diet. I can skip pizza for a year, bu the minute I go on Adkins, I want a pizza - HAVE to have a pizza the next day.

I finally just started cutting everything in half. French fries, burgers, whatever. I either split with my wife or take half home. I'm grouchy as hell for about 15 minutes between the time I leave the table hungry and the time my brain finally tells me I'm gonna live.

Gone from 211 to 190 in 8 weeks.
 
2012-03-17 05:08:10 PM
25 recipes under 500 calories, which still add up to 12,500 when you eat ALL OF THEM, lardass

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-03-17 05:08:28 PM
First world problems.
 
2012-03-17 05:13:14 PM
cherryl taggart: I used way too many calories clicking that. I feel faint.


BEER ME!


Cause alcoholism is FUNNY!!!!!! *vomits all over the silverware*
 
2012-03-17 05:17:12 PM
Someone provide a de-retardified non-slide-o-rama'd link please.
 
2012-03-17 05:34:47 PM
whatshisname: I guess I'm shocked that someone has to point out that there are recipes under 500 calories.

This. Most of the dinners I cook are under 500 calories, and you can get amazing variety for that....well, if you're cooking with healthy foods like veggies and not tubs of lard or butter, anyway. It's REALLY not difficult.
 
2012-03-17 05:35:58 PM
LabGrrl: nuh-uh. If X is less than 500, then X *25 is less than 12,500, and Paula Deen is President.

Exactly... X could theoretically be 0.
 
2012-03-17 05:42:41 PM
Eat until you're not hungry,

then STOP.

It's not rocket-farkin-science.
 
2012-03-17 05:58:36 PM
www.hpnonline.com

Works for me
 
2012-03-17 06:58:06 PM
LabGrrl: nuh-uh. If X is less than 500, then X *25 is less than 12,500, and Paula Deen is President.

That might make for a good, or painfully bad, sitcom.

/That's My Bush! is available online...
//May actually be worth $13.
 
2012-03-17 07:01:30 PM
How about 25 exercises that will burn 500 calories...

Just sayin
 
2012-03-17 07:01:48 PM
LabGrrl: Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!

I disagree, but lemon and pork does suck, and that's the first fricking one. Ew. I like lemon in chicken and fish dishes, and it goes well with asparagus, but lemon and pork is not a pleasant combination. Especially with oregano.
/But, eat what you like.
//I like pork with blackcurrant or peaches, if it has to be fruited up


I make a pork tenderloin basically the same as that one with orange instead of lemon. and white wine instead of the broth. (add a few calories for the wine)
Works pretty well.
There is another whole tenderloin recipe I make in foil on the BBQ with orange and a bit of lime juice and a lot of fresh ground cumin and cilantro...

Lemon with pork can work, think a lemon-pepper kind of thing (like the articles recipe, but skip the oregano and the broth), but it would be better with pork that hasn't been "seasoned" (brined)
 
2012-03-17 07:01:50 PM
Fresh (not in a box) food does cost a bit more upfront. Get the right stuff and slowly expand outward. I've been phasing in one small change into my eating habits every couple weeks and it's been working fine.

-Get fresh fruit (or at least fruit packed in water)
-Switch to wheat bread
-Buy whole wheat pasta
-Eat more green/fiber stuff
-Switched to a lower sugar drink for pop
-More water

I haven't touched dessert or beer or really changed exercise patterns, but I'm down fifteen pounds. Small changes add up if you stick to them (and it doesn't make dieting suck).

/Former fatty
//Significantly less of a fatty
 
2012-03-17 07:09:19 PM
Subby sounds defensively fat.
 
2012-03-17 07:28:53 PM
Colin O'Scopy: Someone provide a de-retardified non-slide-o-rama'd link please.

Soitenly! Link (new window)
 
2012-03-17 07:41:12 PM
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I've been phasing in one small change into my eating habits every couple weeks and it's been working fine.

You're doing it exactly right. Well done.
 
2012-03-17 07:43:50 PM
Any 3 of those would be a good, solid meal.
 
2012-03-17 07:58:20 PM
Barfmaker: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I've been phasing in one small change into my eating habits every couple weeks and it's been working fine.

You're doing it exactly right. Well done.


Exactly. Wanted to add my $0.02 with a well done as well.

Next thing to lose is the diet pop. Seriously, look up what's in it. There is nothing that your body needs.
And just a reminder about the wheat bread, make sure it is actually whole wheat, if the words "enriched flour" is on the label somewhere, move on.

/There is very little hope for me as long as they make beer.
 
2012-03-17 08:26:59 PM
Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!


Exchange it for chili. You can often get away with salsa in a lot of recipies.
 
2012-03-17 08:35:17 PM
greggm59: Colin O'Scopy: Someone provide a de-retardified non-slide-o-rama'd link please.

Soitenly! Link (new window)


Hurm. That didn't work for me, but here's one that does.
 
2012-03-17 08:42:39 PM
portion control is the only necessary element of any diet program for about 99% of the people who want to lose weight. specific recipes, exercise---these are really irrelevant.

that said, let's see a hungry person eat a bowl of lentil soup and be sated. i love lentil soup, but it just whets my appetite for what's coming next.
 
2012-03-17 08:55:45 PM
proteus_b: portion control is the only necessary element of any diet program for about 99% of the people who want to lose weight. specific recipes, exercise---these are really irrelevant.

that said, let's see a hungry person eat a bowl of lentil soup and be sated. i love lentil soup, but it just whets my appetite for what's coming next.


Let's see a fat person eat a bowl of lentil soup and stop. It's the inability to BE sated that keeps fatties fat. I had a client once I couldn't bear to watch eat because it was so nauseating (she was mentally disabled, but still...). I once watched her eat an entire 6-piece chicken dinner, two sides and four dinner rolls in about 20 minutes or less. Then she would whine about how she hated being fat. "Maybe you should eat less," I would say, but that never seemed to work.
 
2012-03-17 10:00:58 PM
Barfmaker: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I've been phasing in one small change into my eating habits every couple weeks and it's been working fine.

You're doing it exactly right. Well done.


sno man: Barfmaker: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I've been phasing in one small change into my eating habits every couple weeks and it's been working fine.

You're doing it exactly right. Well done.

Exactly. Wanted to add my $0.02 with a well done as well.

Next thing to lose is the diet pop. Seriously, look up what's in it. There is nothing that your body needs.
And just a reminder about the wheat bread, make sure it is actually whole wheat, if the words "enriched flour" is on the label somewhere, move on.

/There is very little hope for me as long as they make beer.




I don't know. I'm kind of tempted by the whole "Get so fat I get a 90 minute special on TLC" aspect.

/Don't sugarcoat words, because I'd eat those too
 
2012-03-17 10:31:12 PM
sno man:
I make a pork tenderloin basically the same as that one with orange instead of lemon. and white wine instead of the broth. (add a few calories for the wine)
Works pretty well.

That sounds yummy. :) Can you share the recipe? Or can I just follow the one in TFA & swap those ingredients?

/Got motivated to start eating better this week
//A bunch of friends are now on food-replacement-milkshakes or eat-500-calories-daily-and-take-this-herbal-thing diets, and I want to prove (to myself) that a basic eat-less/exercise-more approach is workable
///Doing my best to be supportive and not roll my eyes when my friends talk about their various "systems"
 
2012-03-17 10:48:18 PM
LabGrrl: Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!

I disagree, but lemon and pork does suck, and that's the first fricking one. Ew. I like lemon in chicken and fish dishes, and it goes well with asparagus, but lemon and pork is not a pleasant combination. Especially with oregano.
/But, eat what you like.
//I like pork with blackcurrant or peaches, if it has to be fruited up


Applesauce is always good with pork (especially sweet applesauce), though my personal favorite is raspberry jelly or jam. A little scoop or dish on the side = Omnomnomnom.
 
2012-03-17 10:53:37 PM
good one subby
 
2012-03-17 10:57:07 PM
I've switched to nothing but water except on Sundays. I used to have iced tea (sweetened) or Diet Coke for all my drinks.

I'm noticing a little weight loss, but what I notice more is that I'm hungrier and eat more on Sundays when I can have my Diet Coke. The days when I drink water I have less appetite.
 
2012-03-17 11:06:20 PM
Ornery Alien: sno man:
I make a pork tenderloin basically the same as that one with orange instead of lemon. and white wine instead of the broth. (add a few calories for the wine)
Works pretty well.

That sounds yummy. :) Can you share the recipe? Or can I just follow the one in TFA & swap those ingredients?

/Got motivated to start eating better this week
//A bunch of friends are now on food-replacement-milkshakes or eat-500-calories-daily-and-take-this-herbal-thing diets, and I want to prove (to myself) that a basic eat-less/exercise-more approach is workable
///Doing my best to be supportive and not roll my eyes when my friends talk about their various "systems"


Basically, follow and swap... but trust your instincts and preferences. What works for me, might not for you and so on. I use just fresh oregano, about a tablespoon v. the 2 teaspoons of dry for the rub in the recipe...
And depending on your wine, you might not want to add the sugar, which will get the calories back down a bit too, or you could use an unrefined sugar like honey or maple syrup for a bit different flavour.
 
2012-03-17 11:43:06 PM
sno man:Basically, follow and swap... but trust your instincts and preferences. What works for me, might not for you and so on. I use just fresh oregano, about a tablespoon v. the 2 teaspoons of dry for the rub in the recipe...
And depending on your wine, you might not want to add the sugar, which will get the calories back down a bit too, or you could use an unrefined sugar like honey or maple syrup for a bit different flavour.


Sounds excellent. Thank you! :)
 
2012-03-18 12:34:44 AM
Chariset: I'm noticing a little weight loss, but what I notice more is that I'm hungrier and eat more on Sundays when I can have my Diet Coke.

That's actually a pretty well-known effect of artificial sweeteners, they paradoxically tend to cause people to overeat.
 
2012-03-18 01:16:53 AM
Johnsnownw: Why do so many of these have to use lemon so much. I farking hate lemon on savory dishes. I use it in fish, but not as a main flavor.

/Lemon in food SUCKS!!!!!


My wife is the same about onions. She hates them, even though she can't "taste" them if I use the processor to chop them up small enough.

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Fresh (not in a box) food does cost a bit more upfront. Get the right stuff and slowly expand outward. I've been phasing in one small change into my eating habits every couple weeks and it's been working fine.

Getting yourself a steaming pan set and steam fresh vegi's will help too. We love fresh steamed vegi's.

//Still overweight, but getting better..
 
2012-03-18 02:24:57 AM
proteus_b: portion control is the only necessary element of any diet program for about 99% of the people who want to lose weight. specific recipes, exercise---these are really irrelevant.

While this is true, what about overall health? What's the point of getting skinny if you're just going to be unhealthy anyway? Losing weight is a great start, but there's more to health than being skinny. Nutritious foods and exercise are still important.
 
2012-03-18 02:47:27 AM
Gyrfalcon: proteus_b: portion control is the only necessary element of any diet program for about 99% of the people who want to lose weight. specific recipes, exercise---these are really irrelevant.

that said, let's see a hungry person eat a bowl of lentil soup and be sated. i love lentil soup, but it just whets my appetite for what's coming next.

Let's see a fat person eat a bowl of lentil soup and stop. It's the inability to BE sated that keeps fatties fat. I had a client once I couldn't bear to watch eat because it was so nauseating (she was mentally disabled, but still...). I once watched her eat an entire 6-piece chicken dinner, two sides and four dinner rolls in about 20 minutes or less. Then she would whine about how she hated being fat. "Maybe you should eat less," I would say, but that never seemed to work.


There's nothing more effective at weight loss than running out of money to buy food. And being limited to a really small amount to get by
 
2012-03-18 12:18:37 PM
MENSTRUATION: While this is true, what about overall health? What's the point of getting skinny if you're just going to be unhealthy anyway? Losing weight is a great start, but there's more to health than being skinny. Nutritious foods and exercise are still important.

sorry, yes, i meant for people who want to lose weight for vanity reasons. which is probably 99% of the people who want to lose weight. so i could have said 98%.
 
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