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(SeattlePI)   Man steals a vibrating condom, lubrication, and mascara from a drug store. Obviously it was robbed for her pleasure   (blog.seattlepi.com) divider line 39
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2193 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2012 at 10:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-16 08:21:36 PM  
And to this day he refuses to steal tampons for her.

FTFA: The man, who also had a misdemeanor drug warrant from Mountlake Terrace, was there with another woman and a 3-year-old child, according to an investigators report.

Wait. What? Who was the first woman?
 
2012-03-16 09:08:11 PM  

Ed Finnerty: And to this day he refuses to steal tampons for her.


Wuss. Some people just need to learn to suck it up.
 
2012-03-16 10:13:39 PM  
I'd like to offer a motion to nominate this submittal as a "headline of the year".

Can I get a second?
 
2012-03-16 10:23:09 PM  
Hey, man, sometimes you don't have money and you have to have a vibrating condom.

/life
 
2012-03-16 10:23:54 PM  

Staffist: I'd like to offer a motion to nominate this submittal as a "headline of the year".

Can I get a second?


HOTY? No. HOTW? Maybe.

/Still, +1
 
2012-03-16 10:24:05 PM  
movieactors.com
"Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww"
 
2012-03-16 10:24:37 PM  

Staffist: I'd like to offer a motion to nominate this submittal as a "headline of the year".

Can I get a second?


I have to admit, I LOL'ed.

Very good headline.
 
2012-03-16 10:25:17 PM  
Things that are locked up at Fred Meyers: condoms, razors, and baby formula.
 
2012-03-16 10:25:29 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: Ed Finnerty: And to this day he refuses to steal tampons for her.


Wuss. Some people just need to learn to suck it up.



Go with the flow.
 
2012-03-16 10:25:40 PM  
tandemgeek.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-16 10:27:08 PM  

Ed Finnerty: And to this day he refuses to steal tampons for her.


RTFA, he was caught red-handed...
 
2012-03-16 10:27:20 PM  
csi-miami.edogo.com

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
 
2012-03-16 10:27:40 PM  
Clever headline. Lots of funny stuff on Fark this year, though. Gonna be some tough competition for headline of the year.
 
2012-03-16 10:28:17 PM  
Buffalo Bob?
 
2012-03-16 10:28:47 PM  

Staffist: I'd like to offer a motion to nominate this submittal as a "headline of the year".

Can I get a second?



Sure, take all the time you need.
 
2012-03-16 10:32:27 PM  
You're never supposed to chase after shoplifters. let it go, man.
 
2012-03-16 10:34:36 PM  
Please learn the difference between a TASER (reg TM) and the generic stun gun

Just because Stieg Larsson didn't get it right doesn't mean you can.

It's like using Kleenex ™ when you should be using facial tissue. Or Rollerblade ™ when you should be using inline skate.
 
2012-03-16 10:36:26 PM  
*rimshot

I lol'd
 
2012-03-16 10:38:12 PM  

MC O'Brien: You're never supposed to chase after shoplifters. let it go, man.


I AM A OFFICER OF THE PREVENTION OF LOSS!!

The man and woman ran across the street to the K-Mart parking lot where the loss prevention officer again tried to detain him.
That's when the man pulled out a Taser and shocked the loss prevention officer in the neck.
The victim's neck was still numb when he relayed the story to police, but they noted he was still able to recover two USB flash drives.


He didn't have time to put on his goggles and scarf for going outside.
 
2012-03-16 10:38:25 PM  

MC O'Brien: You're never supposed to chase after shoplifters. let it go, man.


Yeah, actually after reading this article, this loss prevention employee is going to probably be terminated.

He put himself completely at risk. Also, he attempted to grab the suspect multiple times, you're not supposed to do that, it's assault unless the suspect makes contact with him first.

Next he crossed the street, completely off company property.

Gets tased, and still tries to follow.

Complete and total disregard for his safety in an area with prostitution and drug problems?

He'll be getting his pink slip tomorrow.
 
2012-03-16 10:42:56 PM  
Sometimes the shopping list just to embarrassing to face the clerk
 
2012-03-16 10:52:41 PM  

UsikFark: Things that are locked up at Fred Meyers: condoms, razors, and baby formula.


You know how I know you shop in the ghetto?

/in the ghetto
 
2012-03-16 10:57:11 PM  
i27.tinypic.com

i52.tinypic.com
 
2012-03-16 10:59:11 PM  
WTF is a vibrating condom?!?

/kids these days ...
/lawn. off.
 
2012-03-16 11:00:07 PM  

Glitchwerks: MC O'Brien: You're never supposed to chase after shoplifters. let it go, man.

Yeah, actually after reading this article, this loss prevention employee is going to probably be terminated.

He put himself completely at risk. Also, he attempted to grab the suspect multiple times, you're not supposed to do that, it's assault unless the suspect makes contact with him first.

Next he crossed the street, completely off company property.

Gets tased, and still tries to follow.

Complete and total disregard for his safety in an area with prostitution and drug problems?

He'll be getting his pink slip tomorrow.


And not just any street - Aurora Ave North, which is about 8-9 lanes wide at that point, with a speed limit of 45-50 mph. It's the old Highway 99, and a very busy street. I doubt the shoplifter waited for the light, nor the security officer. Either or both could have easily been road pizza.
 
2012-03-16 11:26:12 PM  

davidphogan: UsikFark: Things that are locked up at Fred Meyers: condoms, razors, and baby formula.

You know how I know you shop in the ghetto?

/in the ghetto


I think it's just SOP now for many stores
 
2012-03-16 11:32:35 PM  
Sounds like a killer Friday night.

/for someone else...
 
2012-03-16 11:35:29 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: Ed Finnerty: And to this day he refuses to steal tampons for her.


Wuss. Some people just need to learn to suck it up.




img183.imageshack.us


/hotlnked out of necessity.
 
2012-03-16 11:39:09 PM  
Did not RTFA. Just came to give props to Subby.

A+++ Would read headline again!
 
2012-03-16 11:52:11 PM  

MC O'Brien: You're never supposed to chase after shoplifters. let it go, man.


a-holes that want to play hero are amateurs.
 
2012-03-16 11:53:42 PM  
images2.fanpop.com


Mountains climbed, oceans crossed, nations conquered, condom's stolen.

It is the primal drive.
 
2012-03-16 11:55:32 PM  

UsikFark: Things that are locked up at Fred Meyers: condoms, razors, and baby formula.


Hey, Tide laundry soap may be next. Around here you can us it to buy crack or sex, apparently. People are stealing whole cart-fulls of the stuff at a time and trading it.

I definitely need to find a higher class of drugstore though -- all we have are the regular condoms. I don't even think they sell the ribbed ones. And all they have are the small sizes!
 
2012-03-17 12:12:07 AM  
I feel sad that it's not even April yet and I have already read the HOTY.

One vowel. Subtle. Brilliant.
 
2012-03-17 01:24:45 AM  
PROTIP: If there is a cutie working the checkout at your local market buy some maxipads, midol and a box of chocolates with a weary "fooking day two" look upon your face. She will totally give up the digits if you ask next time you see her.
 
2012-03-17 04:38:39 AM  
Wait a minute, there's such a thing as vibrating condoms?

/excuse me, I need to run to the store
 
2012-03-17 04:42:03 AM  

hot like wasabi: Wait a minute, there's such a thing as vibrating condoms?

/excuse me, I need to run to the store


Don't get too excited. It's a condom that comes with a little vibrating egg on a circle of rubber. You put the condom on, then slide the egg thing over it.

It's about as comfortable and useful as you might imagine.

Very similar to this:

www.okokchina.com
 
2012-03-17 07:12:43 AM  
(golf clap)

Well done sir subby, well done.
 
2012-03-17 02:18:27 PM  

Finger51: WTF is a vibrating condom?!?

/kids these days ...
/lawn. off.


Voodoo condom my ass!
 
2012-03-17 09:41:49 PM  
good headline
 
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