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(WTSP)   Today's random Jesus image brought to you by some woman's television in Port St. Lucie. Toast surrenders   (wtsp.com) divider line 48
    More: Florida, Port St. Lucie, Porn arrests, display device  
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6423 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2012 at 8:38 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-03-15 07:09:44 AM
"I said Ann guess what? Jesus appeared to me in my phone. And my sister said 'no, that's not true.' I said yes Jesus appeared to me, and she said to me, Guerda you're crazy."

Smart sister.
 
2012-03-15 07:33:30 AM
Are you saying the Jesus toast was French?
 
2012-03-15 08:41:27 AM
Jesus Channel - Nothing but Jesus images 24/7
 
2012-03-15 08:41:45 AM
The human brain's ability to see pattern is real double edged sword....
 
2012-03-15 08:42:06 AM
"Any money raised from the proceeds of this story will go to charity".

Admirable plan, but I think it's a bit incomplete. That's the last step, not the first.
 
2012-03-15 08:42:44 AM
"... she engraved the image into a gold locket ...

Head asplode
 
2012-03-15 08:44:23 AM
Funny how none of the Jesus images look like someone from South Asia. You know, the area where Jesus was apparently from.
 
2012-03-15 08:46:24 AM
Gods trolling stupid people again.
 
2012-03-15 08:49:28 AM
technoccult.net

I'm pretty sure I saw this guy on my TV the other night, too. America's Most Wanted was on,
 
2012-03-15 08:49:38 AM
I got nothing, not even watching the video and normally I can sorta see what people are talking about when they think they see and image of the Virgin Mary or of Christ but I'm not seeing it in this one.
 
2012-03-15 08:55:51 AM
I especially enjoyed the 30 second HOOTER's commercial right before the Jesus story. Nice!
 
2012-03-15 08:55:58 AM
Late last night and the night before,
Tommyknockers, Tommyknockers,
knockin' on the door,
Wanna go out cant tell if I can,
'Cause I'm so 'fraid of the Tommyknocker man
 
2012-03-15 08:58:15 AM
Come to think of it... I see Jesus in hooters too!

the305.com
 
2012-03-15 08:59:16 AM
"Why is there war? Famine? Pestilence? Why don't God and Jesus stop it all?"
"They're too busy putting their images in tacos. Also, they can now say 'As seen on TV.'"
 
2012-03-15 09:07:14 AM
Why the hell was she taking pictures of her TV in the first place?
 
2012-03-15 09:10:17 AM
clearly shows Jesus Christ praying.

Clearly.

Also, this would be more believable if the phone had waited three days to start working.
 
2012-03-15 09:12:47 AM
Goddamnit, Port St. Lucie. This town is so damn stupid.
 
2012-03-15 09:17:18 AM
The chick teasing for the mugshot roundup was more interesting than TFA.

download.gannett.edgesuite.net
 
2012-03-15 09:25:10 AM
French toast, Subby?
 
2012-03-15 09:25:35 AM

ADHD Adult: Funny how none of the Jesus images look like someone from South Asia. You know, the area where Jesus was apparently from.


I'm sure Jesus can look any way he wants.

/Cool pic, sis.
//He might be next to you now. The next person you meet and smile at. The guy slumped over on the sidewalk. The crying child on the plane. The elderly woman needing help with her groceries.
///Watch for him. He'll be watching out for you.
 
2012-03-15 09:28:50 AM

PsiChi: ADHD Adult: Funny how none of the Jesus images look like someone from South Asia. You know, the area where Jesus was apparently from.

I'm sure Jesus can look any way he wants.

/Cool pic, sis.
//He might be next to you now. The next person you meet and smile at. The guy slumped over on the sidewalk. The crying child on the plane. The elderly woman needing help with her groceries.
///Watch for him. He'll be watching out for you.


Sounds more like Agent Smith from the Matrix.
 
2012-03-15 09:33:27 AM
Everything Guerda said in the article, I read in this voice:
img849.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-15 09:34:22 AM

ADHD Adult: Funny how none of the Jesus images look like someone from South Asia. You know, the area where Jesus was apparently from.


we are warned against worship of false idols while they surround us with them.
i always found the concrete castings and false images to be a blaspheme.
 
2012-03-15 09:39:32 AM
"When the phone light up, I say oh my God."

"I said, 'What do you want from me, Jesus?' And then I get a text message from Jesus. And do you know what he said? He said, 'I need about tree fiddy.' And so I realized it weren't Jesus, it was that God-damned Loch Ness Monster again! Trying to trick me into givin' him tree fiddy by pretending' ta be Jesus!"
 
2012-03-15 09:40:00 AM
Pfft. I've seen Jesus on my TV thousands of times, and I never made a big deal out of it.
 
2012-03-15 09:46:46 AM
Is Port St Lucie FARK's favorite town?
 
2012-03-15 09:47:26 AM
Religion makes people gullible and stupid.
 
2012-03-15 09:48:33 AM
Looks like zombie jebus just took a bat to the head.

/just saying
 
2012-03-15 09:55:56 AM
Now that she's captured Jesus, perhaps she could let him go. I'm sure there are many more people who would like a cheez doodle, sweat stain or fungal infection shaped like him.
 
2012-03-15 10:01:45 AM
Jesus returns and is instantly filled with regret.
 
2012-03-15 10:19:58 AM
That looks nothing like the guy that does my lawn.

She lying.
 
2012-03-15 10:24:20 AM

PsiChi: ADHD Adult: Funny how none of the Jesus images look like someone from South Asia. You know, the area where Jesus was apparently from.

I'm sure Jesus can look any way he wants.

/Cool pic, sis.
//He might be next to you now. The next person you meet and smile at. The guy slumped over on the sidewalk. The crying child on the plane. The elderly woman needing help with her groceries.
///Watch for him. He'll be watching out for you.


that's a good point. I'm actually thinking that the reason we have his teachings instead of pictures of him in the bible (which could have easily been drawn at the time) is that *what* he looked like was not important. -In fact, I believe it's said in one of the books that Jesus was "unremarkable" and when the Roman soldiers came looking for him, Judas had to "kiss him on the cheek" instead of saying, "it's the tall guy over there" or "it's the short guy" or "it's the handsome guy", etc. -Further credence to your point.

To those that rightly point out that most western images of Jesus are pretty much crap... Good point. But at the same time, those that put too much emphasis on *what* Jesus looked like and not who he was/is are completely missing the real point.

I toss up our Western images of Jesus to our own flaws as human beings. -We *like* people that look like us, and we distrust people who don't look like us, or who don't act like us. -Probably a good bit of why Jesus's message gets screwed up so badly by today's churches.

-We want him to be like us, not to admit we aren't like *him*.
 
2012-03-15 10:39:06 AM
I'd hit it. And by hit it, I mean, I'd fu#k one of her nostrils.
 
2012-03-15 10:47:12 AM
Why does that lady have so much shiat all over her bedroom? I mean do you really need all those giant candles and a changing screen and a giant urn, etc.?

phrenicmonkey: Everything Guerda said in the article, I read in this voice:
[Link][img849.imageshack.us image 180x240]


Funny, I had this voice:

cdn.americanprofile.com
 
2012-03-15 10:48:09 AM
Weapons grade stupid. Makes me want to weep for our future while pounding my head on my desk.
 
2012-03-15 10:48:30 AM
Is that the same lady that found the feather in her chicken nugget?
 
2012-03-15 10:48:49 AM

ArcadianRefugee: , 'What do you want from me, Jesus?' And then I get a text message from Jesus. And do you know what he said? He said, 'I need about tree fiddy.' And so I realized it weren't Jesus, it was that God-damned Loch Ness Monster again! Trying to trick me into givin' him tree fiddy by


images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-03-15 10:58:22 AM
No decent pic in article, vid don't play and no farker-posted pictures.

What the hell is going on?

/Jesus you tricky little bastard.
 
2012-03-15 11:14:12 AM

McManus_brothers: Goddamnit, Port St. Lucie. This town is so damn stupid.


I know of a few people trying to leave. I don't laugh at stories like this, I nod knowingly.

/Texas
//*siiiiiigh*
///Our Jesuses show up in tortillas
 
2012-03-15 11:26:40 AM
http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff31/spongerapple/jesusdog.jpg

/oblig
 
2012-03-15 11:27:16 AM
i236.photobucket.com

The Devil made me fark up that HTML... l pray it works this time.
 
2012-03-15 11:35:36 AM

Gabrielmot: PsiChi: ADHD Adult: Funny how none of the Jesus images look like someone from South Asia. You know, the area where Jesus was apparently from.

I'm sure Jesus can look any way he wants.

/Cool pic, sis.
//He might be next to you now. The next person you meet and smile at. The guy slumped over on the sidewalk. The crying child on the plane. The elderly woman needing help with her groceries.
///Watch for him. He'll be watching out for you.

that's a good point. I'm actually thinking that the reason we have his teachings instead of pictures of him in the bible (which could have easily been drawn at the time) is that *what* he looked like was not important. -In fact, I believe it's said in one of the books that Jesus was "unremarkable" and when the Roman soldiers came looking for him, Judas had to "kiss him on the cheek" instead of saying, "it's the tall guy over there" or "it's the short guy" or "it's the handsome guy", etc. -Further credence to your point.

To those that rightly point out that most western images of Jesus are pretty much crap... Good point. But at the same time, those that put too much emphasis on *what* Jesus looked like and not who he was/is are completely missing the real point.

I toss up our Western images of Jesus to our own flaws as human beings. -We *like* people that look like us, and we distrust people who don't look like us, or who don't act like us. -Probably a good bit of why Jesus's message gets screwed up so badly by today's churches.

-We want him to be like us, not to admit we aren't like *him*.


Delusional...look it up and seek treatment!
 
2012-03-15 12:24:46 PM

ArcadianRefugee: "When the phone light up, I say oh my God."

"I said, 'What do you want from me, Jesus?' And then I get a text message from Jesus. And do you know what he said? He said, 'I need about tree fiddy.'


www.tin-god.com

WHERE MAH MONEY AT?
 
2012-03-15 12:46:59 PM
clearly shows Jesus Christ praying.

Wait... Who does Jesus pray to? His dad? Aren't they supposed to be one and the same entity now?
 
2012-03-15 02:13:11 PM

McManus_brothers: Goddamnit, Port St. Lucie. This town is so damn stupid.


First off, I'm glad the writer quoted the woman word for word and didn't clean up the grammar. Secondly I'm surprised this is the first time that the jesus image thing made news around here.
 
2012-03-15 02:36:07 PM

Gabrielmot: I toss up our Western images of Jesus to our own flaws as human beings. -We *like* people that look like us, and we distrust people who don't look like us, or who don't act like us. -Probably a good bit of why Jesus's message gets screwed up so badly by today's churches.


Here is the eastern variety.
avrilatromsey.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-15 03:02:52 PM
Eddie Adams, that dog's tail-shot looks more like The Metrayah
 
2012-03-15 03:33:00 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

More like what I saw.
 
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