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(Mother Nature Network)   Since they've been living in sin for years and have all the appliances they need, more and more newlyweds are asking their guests for honeymoon donations instead of going with the traditional registry   (mnn.com) divider line 197
    More: Interesting, donations  
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4696 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2012 at 9:10 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-15 06:22:49 AM
We attended a wedding where this was done. It makes sense.
 
2012-03-15 08:59:03 AM
I think this is fine and probably a good idea. But at the end of the reception, after everybody's hammered, all the guests who donated to the honeymoon should be able to vote on where to send the couple for their honeymoon. Each person gets a number of votes equivalent to his or her share of the total donated amount. The bridge and groom get to vote, too, but also only with shares equivalent to the amount of their own money they're spending. It could make for some interesting turnouts.
 
2012-03-15 09:12:21 AM
This is how they do it in Japan. The couple throws a party and hopes to break even on the costs with the gift money.
 
2012-03-15 09:12:28 AM

Pocket Ninja: I think this is fine and probably a good idea. But at the end of the reception, after everybody's hammered, all the guests who donated to the honeymoon should be able to vote on where to send the couple for their honeymoon. Each person gets a number of votes equivalent to his or her share of the total donated amount. The bridge and groom get to vote, too, but also only with shares equivalent to the amount of their own money they're spending. It could make for some interesting turnouts.


I vote for Kandahar.
 
2012-03-15 09:16:06 AM
*thinks about thousands of dollars worth of china he'll never use sitting in storage space*

Sigh.
 
2012-03-15 09:16:24 AM
So the guests pay for massage oil and body paint?
 
2012-03-15 09:16:31 AM

Pocket Ninja: The bridge and groom


What's that thing where people fall in love with inanimate objects?
 
2012-03-15 09:16:48 AM
Yeah, there an explanation for it. GREED and RUDENESS.

I don't know anything about Japanese culture, but the cost of the wedding is not investment on the booty the guests may bring.
 
2012-03-15 09:16:51 AM

padraig: Pocket Ninja: I think this is fine and probably a good idea. But at the end of the reception, after everybody's hammered, all the guests who donated to the honeymoon should be able to vote on where to send the couple for their honeymoon. Each person gets a number of votes equivalent to his or her share of the total donated amount. The bridge and groom get to vote, too, but also only with shares equivalent to the amount of their own money they're spending. It could make for some interesting turnouts.

I vote for Kandahar.


I vote for Delaware.

www.ripitgood.net
 
2012-03-15 09:17:07 AM
When I was getting married I wanted to tell people we are registered at the Department of the Treasury. But nooooo....we had to go the usual route...Wal*Mart, CVS, ABC Liquors, Ron's Interstate Fireworks and Tobacco...
 
2012-03-15 09:17:47 AM
Still less tacky than a stag and doe
 
2012-03-15 09:17:53 AM

AbbeySomeone: We attended a wedding where this was done. It makes sense.


all our recently or about to be married friends are asking something similar. I'm quite happy with it. I know they don't need any things and we were going to be giving cash anyway as a gift. Cash is always useful
 
2012-03-15 09:18:45 AM
I dunno. I feel like if you don't need stuff, you tell people you don't need stuff and don't ask for money. I think most people would give you money anyway. Asking for it seems grabby.
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2012-03-15 09:19:04 AM
This is essentially what we did. We didn't need anything else, though 'want' is another story.
 
2012-03-15 09:20:43 AM
Mrs. Sinanju and I did that. We asked for folks to chip in on some luggage for our honeymoon since ours was kinda crap. We ended up repacking a few hours before we left. Much more useful than a piece of crystal or a toaster.
 
2012-03-15 09:21:41 AM
nice idea. even better when the couple goes instead of blowing teh cash on a drug fueled weekend at the local duknfuk.

-- in my 20's we attended so many weddings the expense started getting stupid. life is full of little landmines along the way.
 
2012-03-15 09:21:45 AM
Honeymoon Kickstarter?
 
2012-03-15 09:21:51 AM
When I read the title, I first thought it meant "donations", as in to charities. Ha!
 
2012-03-15 09:22:19 AM

Chinchillazilla: I dunno. I feel like if you don't need stuff, you tell people you don't need stuff and don't ask for money. I think most people would give you money anyway. Asking for it seems grabby.


I thought I would feel that way about asking for cash in lieu, but that was before we got our first invitiation from friends. Then it was like, "cool, makes things easier for us!"
 
2012-03-15 09:23:31 AM
You will get a blender and you will like it.
 
2012-03-15 09:24:17 AM
weddings are so selfish "ooohh look at us, we have sex and want to make it official, buy us stuff!!!"
 
2012-03-15 09:24:20 AM

Chinchillazilla: I dunno. I feel like if you don't need stuff, you tell people you don't need stuff and don't ask for money. I think most people would give you money anyway. Asking for it seems grabby.


Agree - we didn't ask for money, we had a gift registry and hinted that gift cards or cash would also be fine. Considering our guests all knew we were living together for years they also knew we didn't need a bunch of stuff "to get started" and instead just gave cash or something.

We did the same thing with all our friends too - they didn't need another knife set or dishes, towels, etc. Easier to give them a Home Depot/Target gift card or just a check. That way they can get what they really want.

/helped pay for for the booze they all drank anyway
 
2012-03-15 09:25:07 AM

sinanju: Mrs. Sinanju and I did that. We asked for folks to chip in on some luggage for our honeymoon since ours was kinda crap. We ended up repacking a few hours before we left. Much more useful than a piece of crystal or a toaster.


You must lead a really exciting life. The ratio of toaster use to luggage use in my house is over 100 to 1.
 
2012-03-15 09:26:11 AM
We did something like this. We had a VERY small registry for those people who would never give money as a gift for a wedding (grandparents, etc), and so got a lot of money gifts instead. It was great, gave us a nice nest egg to save up for a down payment on a house, and also helped greatly in our recent move.
 
PJ-
2012-03-15 09:27:00 AM
I've attended a few weddings in my day, and there has only been one time where I bought an actual gift. It was for my best friend, and I knew his coffee maker was crap, so I bought him a $200 coffee machine. Wedding was about 7 years ago now, and he still goes on that my gift was the best he received, and has outlasted about 80% of the gifts. He could be saying it just to make me feel better, and he actually hates the gift, but who knows.

Any other wedding I go to, I give cash, if it's open bar, I give $100 per guest with me, so if it's me and a guest, I give $200. If it is a cash bar, I give $50 per person with me. If they need something, I'll let them decide what takes priority on their need list.
 
2012-03-15 09:29:59 AM

sinanju: Mrs. Sinanju and I did that. We asked for folks to chip in on some luggage for our honeymoon since ours was kinda crap. We ended up repacking a few hours before we left. Much more useful than a piece of crystal or a toaster.


With the handle there I was thinking gold, lots of gold jewelry.
 
2012-03-15 09:30:47 AM

PJ-:
Any other wedding I go to, I give cash, if it's open bar, I give $100 per guest with me, so if it's me and a guest, I give $200. If it is a cash bar, I give $50 per person with me. If they need something, I'll let them decide what takes priority on their need list.


If it is a cash bar or a dry wedding, I don't go. Otherwise I give $100 as well.
 
2012-03-15 09:31:44 AM

Wendy's Chili: *thinks about thousands of dollars worth of china he'll never use sitting in storage space*

Sigh.


And my wife always complains that we didn't get any china for our wedding. I figure if we don't get it until we move into a house, it's not going to break when we move in.

We had roommates before we were married, so we actually needed stuff for our apartment that wasn't college living grade. I'm so much happier that I was able to make my own french fries last week with our deep fryer than I would have been if we had a fancy plate that we won't use until our parents are too old to make thanksgiving dinner themselves.
 
2012-03-15 09:31:56 AM
This is why we someone gets married I donate to their favorite charity.

H31N0US: When I was getting married I wanted to tell people we are registered at the Department of the Treasury. But nooooo....we had to go the usual route...Wal*Mart, CVS, ABC Liquors, Ron's Interstate Fireworks and Tobacco...


GREAT place to register.
 
2012-03-15 09:32:37 AM

PJ-: If they need something, I'll let them decide what takes priority on their need list.


Yea, those kinds of gifts can often mean a lot. One of our friends talked nonstop before the wedding about how excited she was that her parents were getting her a Keurig as one of their wedding gifts, so we got them a huge mix pack of K-cups and a K-cup holder.
 
2012-03-15 09:35:38 AM
I suggested this when my sister got married, and my family responded with a shocked "NO THAT'S SO TACKY!!11"

I felt like a moran for not knowing why it was tacky so I just shut up.
 
2012-03-15 09:37:13 AM
I see this more and more (wedding officiant)

CSB --

I had one couple buy dual pane windows for their house with the money they were given. They said every time they look through those windows they think about how their friends made their house a home.
 
2012-03-15 09:39:25 AM

Wendy's Chili: *thinks about thousands of dollars worth of china he'll never use sitting in storage space*

Sigh.


+1. We got married in January and I have this too. Not thousands in china, but maybe a good $500-$600 worth. It's not in storage though, it's sitting under the kitchen table.

For daily use we still use the old funky silverware, plates, and bowls we found at an estate sale 6 or 7 years ago.

Most used gift? Coffee maker. That thing is awesome!

Our luggage? We bought it at Building 19. It's a $500 Samsonite set with some dings and a missing handle that we got for $90.

Honeymoon in January: Jackson, WY. It was awesome.
 
2012-03-15 09:40:21 AM

bark_atda_moon: sinanju: Mrs. Sinanju and I did that. We asked for folks to chip in on some luggage for our honeymoon since ours was kinda crap. We ended up repacking a few hours before we left. Much more useful than a piece of crystal or a toaster.

You must lead a really exciting life. The ratio of toaster use to luggage use in my house is over 100 to 1.


I travel for business infrequently but for long distances. 3-5 'round-the-world trips per year. So, I'm home a lot, but still have lots of frequent flyer miles. As a result, Mrs. Sinanju and I travel internationally for vaca every year and I use the luggage for my business trips. The luggage we received for our wedding has long since been replaced with a nice Briggs & Riley set. So, yeah... we're pretty serious about our luggage.

Plus, we were cohabiting for three years before the wedding -- we already had a toaster.
 
2012-03-15 09:40:24 AM
Whatever you give, steer clear of weird stuff, like ugly cheese trays, impossibly shaped bowls, and especially kimonos. Who the hell gives another human being a kimono?
 
2012-03-15 09:40:38 AM
Woops. I forgot. We made our registry fairly limited so as to solicit a bit more cash.
 
2012-03-15 09:41:50 AM
I've mostly been to Italian weddings in North America. In addition to the registry at the bridal shower, guests are expected to give a "busta" which is basically a card with money or a cheque in it, enough to cover your meal for the wedding (approximately $100 per person, though I've heard it's more now). The busta box is a box that would house all the envelopes of cash. Usually when you arrive at the baquet hall (almost all Italian weddings are at banquet halls) there is a reception line of the wedding party and the box would be somewhere in that line, guarded by the wedding party. It's actually become a target for thefts, so some people have police or security at their parties.
 
2012-03-15 09:42:40 AM

pounddawg: I see this more and more (wedding officiant)

CSB --

I had one couple buy dual pane windows for their house with the money they were given. They said every time they look through those windows they think about how their friends made their house a home.


you are very persuasive
next time, get 'em to do a rusty trombome
 
2012-03-15 09:43:08 AM

sinanju: The luggage we received for our wedding has long since been replaced with a nice Briggs & Riley set. So, yeah... we're pretty serious about our luggage.


How does Briggs & Riley compare to, say, Tumi? The prices are similar, and I love my Tumi stuff. But I'm considering my next travel suitcase and open to anything.
 
2012-03-15 09:43:20 AM

Tomahawk513: Whatever you give, steer clear of weird stuff, like ugly cheese trays, impossibly shaped bowls, and especially kimonos. Who the hell gives another human being a kimono?


27.media.tumblr.com

"It's a chip and dip. We got two. That's practically four of something!"
 
2012-03-15 09:44:34 AM
We didn't ask for a damned thing. Went to Vegas, got married at the Graceland Weddig chapel, spent the week doing all the things we wanted to do, flew home and asked our friends and family to meet us at a local hangout and sign their names to one of those picture mats with one of our engagement photos.

That's it. And quite honestly, I wish more people would do the same.
 
2012-03-15 09:44:37 AM
When I got married, we were both in our early 30s, had three houses between us and loads of regular stuff. As one friend observed, "so you don't need any of that I Love Lucy crap". I paid for the wedding, my parents paid for the Bahamas honeymoon.

/Needed to be more specific though
//Got lots of picture frames
///And single towel sets
 
2012-03-15 09:44:51 AM

Mrs.Sharpier: weddings are so selfish "ooohh look at us, we have sex and want to make it official, buy us stuff!!!"


www.catholicmatch.com
 
2012-03-15 09:45:07 AM

Xythero: I suggested this when my sister got married, and my family responded with a shocked "NO THAT'S SO TACKY!!11"

I felt like a moran for not knowing why it was tacky so I just shut up.


If you don't know why it's tacky, you ARE a moran.
 
2012-03-15 09:45:21 AM
Me and my wife married 4 years ago, after 16 years of living in sin. We did this and it was awesome; paid for our entire honeymoon, minus plane tickets. Since ours was sort of an "adventure honeymoon" on the island country of Dominica, we registered (online) all of the things we wanted to do (scuba, repelling over waterfalls, hike to boiling lake, camping in a grass hut in the rain forest, river canoe trip, turtle conservation watch, etc) and people LOVED picking out their gifts for us.

We sent each person a photo of us enjoying the experience they gifted us...and they loved that too. All in all, it was much better than a toaster.
 
2012-03-15 09:46:32 AM

AbbeySomeone: We attended a wedding where this was done. It makes sense.


Know what makes even more sense? Not spending a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding and using that money for the honeymoon.
 
2012-03-15 09:47:09 AM

Mrs.Sharpier: weddings are so selfish "ooohh look at us, we have sex and want to make it official, buy us stuff!!!"


Pretty much one of the primary acts of attention whoring. I dont get the whole concept of spending 20 to 30 grand for luxories for the guests, inviting anyone and everyone you've ever known, then having the guests lavishly outdo one another in gifts.

What a waste of money. Why not just charge the guests $100 per plate to cancel off the overhead of the wedding? Then you can avoid all the "oh you invited her but didn't invite me" nonsense. You'll know all the people who truly give a shiat by who shows up. Personally I would much rather have family and a few close friends than having to entertain a bunch of random jamokes looking for a free meal and drinks
 
2012-03-15 09:47:12 AM

mr.Curmudgeon: Me and my wife married 4 years ago, after 16 years of living in sin. We did this and it was awesome; paid for our entire honeymoon, minus plane tickets. Since ours was sort of an "adventure honeymoon" on the island country of Dominica, we registered (online) all of the things we wanted to do (scuba, repelling over waterfalls, hike to boiling lake, camping in a grass hut in the rain forest, river canoe trip, turtle conservation watch, etc) and people LOVED picking out their gifts for us.

We sent each person a photo of us enjoying the experience they gifted us...and they loved that too. All in all, it was much better than a toaster.


That's actually pretty brilliant.
 
2012-03-15 09:49:48 AM
I'mokwiththis.jpg
 
2012-03-15 09:50:34 AM
CSB time:

I went to the wedding of a close friend whom I'd known since elementary school and had also been room mates with when we we're just out of high school. My wife and I had just bought our first house and things were kinda tight. Long story short, we regifted a silver platter that we got for a wedding present and that we knew we would never use. Well, my friend calls me a month or so after his wedding and tells me the the platter had 'Congrats Mr. & Mrs. Stupiddream on it'! We laughed and I sent him a check. My wife was moritified still hates it when I tell the story.

Moral of the story: Don't give crappy, engraved, useless crap as gifts! (and if you regift, check for engravings!)

End of CSB
 
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