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(Sun Sentinel)   TSA says passengers over 75 will be allowed to keep shoes on and largely avoid pat downs at Orlando International Airport, as most of the screeners there complain about having to touch people that old   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 75
    More: Florida, Orlando International Airport, TSA, O'Hare International, knee replacements, LaGuardia Airport, passengers  
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2450 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2012 at 10:52 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-14 08:00:09 PM  
ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS
 
2012-03-14 08:37:51 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-14 09:04:21 PM  
And they still ignore other passengers, such as those with various trauma syndromes who cannot deal with being touched. :/
 
2012-03-14 10:16:11 PM  
www.mileanhour.com
 
2012-03-14 10:21:22 PM  
TSA MUST DIE

And just where can this go from here?
Is there really anything good can come of continuing this security theatre?

/just gonna piss off more an' more peeps, for what, ending how?
 
2012-03-14 10:43:02 PM  
Orlando International Airport getting rid of TSA screeners altogether if a headline I saw earlier today is correct.
 
2012-03-14 10:46:53 PM  
Orlando Sanford International. My bad.
 
2012-03-14 10:54:39 PM  
Oh good. Next time I need to smuggle a brick or ten of weed out of town, I'll just have my grandma come with.
 
2012-03-14 10:56:58 PM  

VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS


Seriously.
 
2012-03-14 10:57:48 PM  
Was hoping for TSA from tonites Southpark, leaving disappoint.
 
2012-03-14 10:59:05 PM  

Oldiron_79: Was hoping for TSA from tonites Southpark, leaving disappoint.


Tonight's South Park was pretty much spot on.
 
2012-03-14 11:00:42 PM  

kellynoel: Oh good. Next time I need to smuggle a brick or ten of weed out of town, I'll just have my grandma come with.


Fly out of Oakland, they let you take your w33d on the plane.

/have you ever flown...on WEEEEED?
 
2012-03-14 11:01:05 PM  
"It gives our officers more time to focus on those who present more of a threat," said TSA spokeswoman Sari Koshetz.

Like ten year old kids or mothers who are carrying their breastmilk in their carry-ons.
 
2012-03-14 11:01:07 PM  

mjbok: Oldiron_79: Was hoping for TSA from tonites Southpark, leaving disappoint.

Tonight's South Park was pretty much spot on.


"Ok sugar... I gots to look in your asshole."
 
2012-03-14 11:01:16 PM  
I went to pick up a pizza tonight from the local pizza joint, and there were a bunch of old people standing in the entrance area waiting for their elderly friend to.pay, and when I opened the door one of the old women jumped like I had screamed at her or something, apparently the air pressure change when I opened the door startled her. Anyway, her husband grabbed her and gave me a dirty look.

/I know, I know, csb
 
2012-03-14 11:04:24 PM  
Equal protection under the law.
 
2012-03-14 11:07:18 PM  

Sgygus: Orlando Sanford International. My bad.


Get it right.

You big dummy.
 
2012-03-14 11:10:16 PM  
The irritating thing about a lot of elderly fliers is that they usually demand that the TSA screeners pull their fingers.
 
2012-03-14 11:11:01 PM  

VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS


Seriously, this.

They're already about to die, they might as well take an airplane full of people with them.

Fortunately, they won't be able to figure out how to set the timer on the detonator. Then you'll have some old guy next to you complaining that the clock attached to his stick of dynamite is flashing 12:00.
 
2012-03-14 11:14:53 PM  
VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?
 
2012-03-14 11:15:17 PM  
Appeasement! Appeasers!
 
2012-03-14 11:15:34 PM  

VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS


This, FFS. Can't be that hard to recruit someone elderly by offering a bag of money for their grandkids.
 
2012-03-14 11:16:48 PM  
Under 10, mandatory pat down...

www.tacomaworld.com
 
2012-03-14 11:23:51 PM  
FTFA "It gives our officers more time to focus on those who present more of a threat,"

Translation: This is one of many meaningless aspects of our security theater that has caused a great deal of strife for our public relations so we're going to do away with it for the loudest complainers, but BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA everyone's still potentially a terrorist who will kill you without our incompetent apes protecting you by violating your basic human rights and stealing your valuables. You're welcome.
 
2012-03-14 11:26:49 PM  

EggSniper: FTFA "It gives our officers more time to focus on those who present more of a threat,"

Translation: This is one of many meaningless aspects of our security theater that has caused a great deal of strife for our public relations so we're going to do away with it for the loudest complainers people who ACTUALLY show up and VOTE and might force us to be done away with if we don't stop harassing them, but BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA everyone's still potentially a terrorist who will kill you without our incompetent apes protecting you by violating your basic human rights and stealing your valuables. You're welcome.


FTFY - I think you were pretty close though.
 
2012-03-14 11:31:40 PM  
Stop biatching, everyone, they're slowly beginning the withdrawal.

Sloooooooowllyy, but still.
 
2012-03-14 11:31:41 PM  
This is a huge opportunity for teabagger-inspired terrorists.
 
2012-03-14 11:35:55 PM  

Sgygus: VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?


Tell them a bunch of stories about how much better virgins were back in the day.
 
2012-03-14 11:40:17 PM  
And the pricks even manage to sound magnanimous .

Thank you, our betters, for this lovely, wonderful gift of not molesting our elderly. Truly, we are blessed.
 
2012-03-14 11:40:33 PM  
Age discrimination lawsuit. Cool.
 
2012-03-14 11:41:52 PM  
No.
 
2012-03-14 11:43:50 PM  

mjbok: Oldiron_79: Was hoping for TSA from tonites Southpark, leaving disappoint.

Tonight's Every South Park was pretty much spot on.

 
2012-03-14 11:45:20 PM  

Sgygus: VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?


Actually, old people have nothing to lose and often have mental breaks near the end of their lives. I can't imagine a more perfect recruit. I mean, even idealistic youts have something to live for.
 
2012-03-14 11:47:55 PM  

BSABSVR: Sgygus: VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?

Tell them a bunch of stories about how much better virgins were back in the day.


Have them change out the screens for storm-windows before winter comes?

"I'll catch my death otherwise!"
 
2012-03-14 11:58:03 PM  
And for our next trick we'll give a bunch of uneducated people a low-paying job that gives them ultimate power over the general public and let's see what happens...

My disabled wife was forced out of her wheelchair to stagger through a scanner, then we had to pry off her orthotics so they could give them a cursory glance while a bunch of disinterested fat-asses sat around chatting about how much they'd eaten for breakfast. It was like something out of "Brazil"
 
2012-03-15 12:21:47 AM  

BSABSVR: Sgygus: VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?

Tell them a bunch of stories about how much better virgins were back in the day.


So, the Islamic version of Heaven is hell?
 
2012-03-15 12:23:00 AM  
TSA are generally unreachable scum....apparently their PR as well - why would they "announce" this? Just make the subtle change in the interest of efficiency, nobody would really notice and nobody would really complain...
 
2012-03-15 12:28:26 AM  

Gyrfalcon: BSABSVR: Sgygus: VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?

Tell them a bunch of stories about how much better virgins were back in the day.

So, the Islamic version of Heaven is hell?


I would have to say that spending eternity with a bunch of partners who don't know anything about sex would be pretty damn close.
 
2012-03-15 12:30:21 AM  
But... grandmas are the ones who can hide the MOST explosives in their snatches!!!
 
2012-03-15 12:32:47 AM  
In other words: Now, your typical middle aged central florida sun burnt/meth head can skip the line at OIA. Yay.
 
2012-03-15 12:37:08 AM  

here to help: But... grandmas are the ones who can hide the MOST explosives in their snatches!!!


Honey, it's not their withered va-jay-jay's where the explosives are located.
 
2012-03-15 12:41:42 AM  

Gyrfalcon: here to help: But... grandmas are the ones who can hide the MOST explosives in their snatches!!!

Honey, it's not their withered va-jay-jay's where the explosives are located.


Ka-BOOM!
 
2012-03-15 12:44:34 AM  

skinink: "It gives our officers more time to focus on those who present more of a threat," said TSA spokeswoman Sari Koshetz.

Like ten year old kids or mothers who are carrying their breastmilk in their carry-ons.breasts


FTFY
 
2012-03-15 12:44:58 AM  
They are either starting to back down, or simply throwing things so people can shut up.
 
2012-03-15 12:59:17 AM  
The TSA suck from beginning to end. There is absolutely nothing they have done that warrants their existence. If they have accomplished anything besides annoy the general public and slow airline traffic to the point no one *wants* to fly, I challenge anyone to show where and when their existence made a positive difference.

I challenge *anyone* to provide credible proof that they have accomplished anything aside from sucking the bone marrow funding of taxes from Americans that can least afford it.

Anyone?
 
2012-03-15 01:09:46 AM  

CasperImproved: The TSA suck from beginning to end. There is absolutely nothing they have done that warrants their existence. If they have accomplished anything besides annoy the general public and slow airline traffic to the point no one *wants* to fly, I challenge anyone to show where and when their existence made a positive difference.

I challenge *anyone* to provide credible proof that they have accomplished anything aside from sucking the bone marrow funding of taxes from Americans that can least afford it.

Anyone?


Well... they made some rich people richer, gave some otherwise unemployable droogs fancy jobs and allowed politicos to look like they care about our safety.

What?

Those are things!

Now pay up!
 
2012-03-15 01:17:32 AM  

VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS


Done in one, plus they got nothing to lose!
 
2012-03-15 01:19:54 AM  

here to help: CasperImproved: The TSA suck from beginning to end. There is absolutely nothing they have done that warrants their existence. If they have accomplished anything besides annoy the general public and slow airline traffic to the point no one *wants* to fly, I challenge anyone to show where and when their existence made a positive difference.

I challenge *anyone* to provide credible proof that they have accomplished anything aside from sucking the bone marrow funding of taxes from Americans that can least afford it.

Anyone?

Well... they made some rich people richer, gave some otherwise unemployable droogs fancy jobs and allowed politicos to look like they care about our safety.

What?

Those are things!

Now pay up!


Thankfully I caught you while you are young.

Peanut butter is more than a flavor, a kiss can mean more than a kiss, and the as$holes that claim to want to be there in your best interests are there to impart their penis in your favorite place.

But thankfully, I was able to help you understand that is the situation.

Please... Listen to your own internal heart, and don't allow the bastids to invade your life.

Just be you....
 
2012-03-15 01:22:08 AM  

CasperImproved: Thankfully I caught you while you are young.

Peanut butter is more than a flavor, a kiss can mean more than a kiss, and the as$holes that claim to want to be there in your best interests are there to impart their penis in your favorite place.

But thankfully, I was able to help you understand that is the situation.

Please... Listen to your own internal heart, and don't allow the bastids to invade your life.

Just be you....


...

i'd rather have five bucks...
 
2012-03-15 01:24:51 AM  

here to help: CasperImproved: Thankfully I caught you while you are young.

Peanut butter is more than a flavor, a kiss can mean more than a kiss, and the as$holes that claim to want to be there in your best interests are there to impart their penis in your favorite place.

But thankfully, I was able to help you understand that is the situation.

Please... Listen to your own internal heart, and don't allow the bastids to invade your life.

Just be you....

...

i'd rather have five bucks...


If you are okay with it, I have a pic about $2 that should make you grin.
 
2012-03-15 01:38:27 AM  

CasperImproved: If you are okay with it, I have a pic about $2 that should make you grin.


dooo eeet!!!
 
2012-03-15 01:42:03 AM  

here to help: CasperImproved: If you are okay with it, I have a pic about $2 that should make you grin.

dooo eeet!!!


I'd rather you keep it in your imagination.

But again, you did manage to make me smile.

Is it possible you have more to offer than irritation?
 
2012-03-15 01:44:02 AM  

CasperImproved: Is it possible you have more to offer than irritation?


Sorry, I specialize in fungal infections.
 
2012-03-15 01:46:31 AM  
If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat
 
2012-03-15 01:49:49 AM  

depmode98: If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat


I'm told that the way they do it in Israel doesn't apply to America for some reason that has to do with the fact they know about terrorism and we know about freedoms.
 
2012-03-15 02:53:40 AM  

BSABSVR: Sgygus: VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS

Old people are hard to recruit. What are they going to do with 72 virgins?

Tell them a bunch of stories about how much better virgins were back in the day.


Are you my virgins!? ....did they say that they'd be female vigins? ....Holy Crap! ^
 
2012-03-15 04:03:22 AM  
I'd much rather sit next to a screaming baby with a full diaper than an old geezer with a full diaper.
 
2012-03-15 04:31:26 AM  

depmode98: If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat


t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-03-15 04:43:04 AM  

depmode98: If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat

 
2012-03-15 04:52:45 AM  
I can understand this, I wouldn't want to have to touch people that old either.
 
2012-03-15 05:59:41 AM  

Gyrfalcon: depmode98: If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat

I'm told that the way they do it in Israel doesn't apply to America for some reason that has to do with the fact they know about terrorism and we know about freedoms.


Has to do with the following:
1. Really small country
2. limited ways to enter the country through airports so they only need to provide a smaller contingent of Mossad in those countries.
3. All international flights leave through Ben Gurion (see #2)
4. Armed security on El-Al flights

Pretty simple.
Personally I think I think they should give guns to everyone on a plane.
 
2012-03-15 06:17:03 AM  

rikkards: Gyrfalcon: depmode98: If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat

I'm told that the way they do it in Israel doesn't apply to America for some reason that has to do with the fact they know about terrorism and we know about freedoms.

Has to do with the following:
1. Really small country
2. limited ways to enter the country through airports so they only need to provide a smaller contingent of Mossad in those countries.
3. All international flights leave through Ben Gurion (see #2)
4. Armed security on El-Al flights

Pretty simple.
Personally I think I think they should give guns to everyone on a plane.


Seconded. (new window)
 
2012-03-15 07:48:10 AM  
LOSHAWNDA HEY LOSHAWNDA GURL I WAS HAD BEEN TALKIN TO THAT BOY BUT HE CRAZY GURL

i44.tinypic.com

NEEEEEEEEEEEEXT

/American tax dollars at work
 
2012-03-15 07:50:38 AM  
i44.tinypic.com
i42.tinypic.com

/American tax dollars at work
 
2012-03-15 07:52:24 AM  

VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS


While I mostly think any of these policies are a joke... THIS. This isn't like buying beer at the ABC, just because you look old doesn't mean you shouldn't be asked to prove you don't have a bomb.
 
2012-03-15 08:00:54 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I went to pick up a pizza tonight from the local pizza joint, and there were a bunch of old people standing in the entrance area waiting for their elderly friend to.pay, and when I opened the door one of the old women jumped like I had screamed at her or something, apparently the air pressure change when I opened the door startled her. Anyway, her husband grabbed her and gave me a dirty look.

/I know, I know, csb


You MONSTER!
 
2012-03-15 08:28:43 AM  
People, who are williing to die in a suicide attack for their cause, very rarely get old.


rikkards: 4. Armed security on El-Al flights


There's something really cool about having your scotch served by a fully armed soldier. They'll fluff your pillow too.
 
2012-03-15 08:37:17 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Stop biatching, everyone, they're slowly beginning the withdrawal.

Sloooooooowllyy, but still.


They always pull out before they shove it back in....Nice and slow.

/hmm, reminds me of something.
 
2012-03-15 10:29:00 AM  
To the commenters seriously entertaining the notion that the reason we haven't had a rash of suicide bombers on airplanes is because of TSA patdowns: Die. Just die right now, you cowardly morons. We haven't had a rash of suicide bombers BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANY SUICIDE BOMBERS in America. If we did, they'd have blown up a bunch of buses and shiat already.

/Lock the cockpit doors and screen foreign travelers better.
//Problem solved, move along.
 
2012-03-15 10:55:51 AM  

Gyrfalcon: depmode98: If the security screener at farking Ben gurion airport don't give a shiat about your shoes it's a good bet checking your shoes is a bunch of kabuki security theater bullshiat

I'm told that the way they do it in Israel doesn't apply to America for some reason that has to do with the fact they know about terrorism and we know about freedoms.


Also would require the screeners to have REAL training. Possibly a degree in psych. Good luck americans. Between TSA and norder gusrds asking me which country im coming out of, (at the foot of a bridge to canada, no joke) i now refuse to travel there.
That security guard likely put me on a file for asking him to repeat that as now they stop me every time in my personal vehicle and do a full inspection.
 
2012-03-15 11:07:15 AM  

VIDEOWALLART: ATTENTION TERRORISTS: USE ELDERLY SUICIDE BOMBERS


ATTENTION MORAN. THERES NO SUCH THING AS A TERRORIST. 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB. INSIDE MEANING "WE"RE DOING IT FOR TEH GHAY"
 
2012-03-15 12:30:56 PM  
Next off the list: white people?
 
2012-03-15 02:14:37 PM  

Jument: Next off the list: white people?


you say that like it's a bad thing.
 
2012-03-15 02:18:18 PM  

Jument: Next off the list: white people?




Just for you
t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-03-15 05:13:46 PM  

mongbiohazard: EggSniper: FTFA "It gives our officers more time to focus on those who present more of a threat,"

Translation: This is one of many meaningless aspects of our security theater that has caused a great deal of strife for our public relations so we're going to do away with it for the loudest complainers people who ACTUALLY show up and VOTE and might force us to be done away with if we don't stop harassing them, but BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA everyone's still potentially a terrorist who will kill you without our incompetent apes protecting you by violating your basic human rights and stealing your valuables. You're welcome.

FTFY - I think you were pretty close though.


Pre-farking-cisely what I was thinking.
 
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