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(Laughing Squid)   Hollywood scrapes through bottom of the barrel as Garbage Pail Kids II enters planning stage   (laughingsquid.com) divider line 41
    More: Fail, Garbage Pail Kids, Hollywood  
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1849 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Mar 2012 at 9:49 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-14 06:24:38 PM
Holy shiat! I can't wait!!! I actually just bought a couple of boxes of the 1st series last month so this would really help my "investment". Seriously, I'm geeking out right now.
 
2012-03-14 06:32:51 PM
There was a garbage pail kids 1?

Seriously?
 
2012-03-14 08:42:34 PM
Oh yes indeed. I remember seeing it on VHS when I was a kid. I don't remember much about it, except being unimpressed.

/love the cards though

www.badmovies.org
 
2012-03-14 09:08:17 PM

Ambivalence: There was a garbage pail kids 1?

Seriously?


Yeah, it's considered one of the worst movies of all time. You'll watch it and just hold your head and say "My head is full of f*ck!" Read this review

A 14-year-old boy, Mackenzie Astin (son of John Astin and Patti Duke), plays a boy who gets beat up by a weird gang of adults who chain him to sewer pipes underground and do other various gross things to him. His only friend is an old man who runs an antique shop and has him take off all his clothes and take a bath in the antique shop (out on the main shop area). When he opens his eyes while in the bath he's surrounded by midgets, well midgets playing garbage pail kids. A few see him naked when he stands up. Mac then gets them to work in a sweatshop and make clothes for a much older girl he has a crush on named Tangerine, but she is just using him. Overall a very strange movie. Here's a character description list I found with another review online. Mac plays Dodger:

Dodger - His choices of attire are disturbing. Not since "Michael Jackson's Naughty Nighttime Theater" has a young boy dressed this way. Does he want to attract pedophiles? The wife has assured me that a girl his age would not find him appealing.

Cap'n Manzini - Anthony Newley! A well traveled magician who owns an antique shop. I spent the entire viewing in mortal fear that this guy was going to take off his pants and plant his bare butt square in front of the camera (I have some history with Anthony Newley).

Ali Gator - He wants to eat your toes; all of them.

Greaser Greg - Phil Fondacaro! He comes complete with a bad attitude, switchblade, slicked back hair, and black leather jacket.

Valerie Vomit - She does, eventually, regurgitate.

Windy Winston - Hoggle's gassy cousin who suffered a major stroke that left both sides of his face paralyzed.

Nat Nerd - Pimpled and clad in a urine-stained superhero outfit; he gives nerds a bad name.

Messy Tessie - Never shake hands with this girl.

Foul Phil - The result if some maniac were to give a baby garlic-flavored milk.

Tangerine - Mean girl who designs clothes and uses Dodger's crush on her to trick him. She looks much older than him, as in Dodger being a high school freshman and Tangerine a senior. Not too many senior girls date freshman boys from what I remember about high school.

Blythe - Okay, if you are going to insert a gorilla woman in your movie for kicks, please do not include a scene with her running quickly. Should such a scene be mandatory, provide her with a bra and do not make her wear a tiger-striped top.

Wally - Not quite tough enough for the gang. Maybe he should try out for a boy band.

Juice - Look at the tough gang leader in his minivan!

You can watch it in glorious 360 quality on YouTube here

Here's some pics:

Gorilla woman and adult gang torturing 14-year-old boy
img.photobucket.com

Yep, that's definitely an outfit to attract pedophiles
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-14 09:14:29 PM
I'm glad I went for the technical end and didn't try to get any screenplays sold because I'd probably be involved in a mass murder/suicide by now.
 
2012-03-14 09:22:58 PM
subby: Hollywood scrapes through bottom of the barrel

Hollywood:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-03-14 09:53:06 PM
From the original article linked in TFA:

"Hatched by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Art Spiegelman, the cards became wildly popular enough that they were banned by many schools."

My head just asplode.
 
2012-03-14 09:56:18 PM
I loved the cards as a kid. I actually got a headache as a child watching the movie because it was so bad.
 
2012-03-14 09:57:18 PM
How is this even possible?
 
2012-03-14 10:08:55 PM

eikni: I loved the cards as a kid. I actually got a headache as a child watching the movie because it was so bad.


I loved the cards so much I convinced myself that it was a good movie.

/shut up I was 5
 
2012-03-14 10:14:01 PM

farkingismybusiness: eikni: I loved the cards as a kid. I actually got a headache as a child watching the movie because it was so bad.

I loved the cards so much I convinced myself that it was a good movie.

/shut up I was 5


I loved the cards as well. Had so many of them. I guess I was one of the lucky ones that lost interest before the movie came out. Though I think I remember reading that it was available for Netflix streaming. Sounds like a good use of my time.

/no it doesn't
/will do it anyway
 
2012-03-14 10:20:08 PM
So many un-answered questions! Let's hope they can recapture the magic!
 
2012-03-14 10:42:27 PM
Yay, my link went green!

The real WTFs about this:
a. They're making another movie. The first one was so crappy I could barely sit through it and I love awful movies. It took bad movies to a whole new level of suck.
b. Michael Eisner is still around?
c. How many people even remember the Garbage Pail Kids at this point? Why make another movie now?
 
2012-03-14 10:49:02 PM
A friend of mine in LA is working on the hungry hungry hippos movie that's being directed by Zach Braff.
 
2012-03-14 10:53:47 PM

Mulchpuppy: From the original article linked in TFA:

"Hatched by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Art Spiegelman, the cards became wildly popular enough that they were banned by many schools."

My head just asplode.


The guy that did Maus? What is this I don't even
 
2012-03-14 11:03:23 PM

Fano: Mulchpuppy: From the original article linked in TFA:

"Hatched by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Art Spiegelman, the cards became wildly popular enough that they were banned by many schools."

My head just asplode.

The guy that did Maus? What is this I don't even


Whaaaaaaaaa?
 
2012-03-14 11:04:00 PM
Garbage Pail Kids was something I thought I made up in my head. I was an only child and spent a lot of my youth in my thoughts.

Thank goodness it's real...except for that screen capture from the movie. That's what my idea of hell is. Weird looking puppets everywhere, staring through my soul.
 
2012-03-14 11:59:53 PM
How many threads do we need about Snooki being pregnant?
 
2012-03-15 12:01:39 AM
Subby fails at reading comprehension. It's not a sequel. As such, it still has the chance to do something fun with the property instead of making one want dig their eyes out with a staple puller.

/With Eisner pulling the strings, though...
 
2012-03-15 12:47:43 AM

Jizz Master Zero: Subby fails at reading comprehension. It's not a sequel.


Trollish headlines? On my Fark? It's more likely than you think.
 
2012-03-15 01:09:28 AM
A friend of mine in LA is working on the hungry hungry hippos movie that's being directed by Zach Braff.

Let me guess the storyline, the hippos hate their parents for making them eat white marbles all day and listen to the Shins.
 
2012-03-15 01:20:35 AM

BigSnatch: How many threads do we need about Snooki being pregnant?


cache.jezebel.com
 
2012-03-15 01:33:05 AM
People in their 30's need to let shiat go.
 
2012-03-15 01:39:26 AM

Mulchpuppy: "Hatched by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Art Spiegelman


No shiat? The guy who did Maus? I'm shocked and stunned.

/honestly didn't know that.
 
2012-03-15 01:41:43 AM
Some studio exec was probably stopped at a traffic light while driving through hollywood and saw some bums picking through dumpsters for food and thought "Yeah, garbage pail kids sequel, they're all grown up now..." and ran with it when he got back to the office. Hell He was probably on his cell with staff to get a creative team together for it before he pulled away from the light.
 
2012-03-15 02:02:04 AM
Some studio exec was probably stopped at a traffic light while driving through hollywood and saw some bums picking through dumpsters for food and thought "Yeah, garbage pail kids sequel, they're all grown up now..." and ran with it when he got back to the office. Hell He was probably on his cell with staff to get a creative team together for it before he pulled away from the light.

Maebe?
 
2012-03-15 02:04:21 AM

MrEricSir: How many people even remember the Garbage Pail Kids at this point?


I collected them as a kid -- no idea how i ever came up with money to buy them -- and stuck them all around the peripheral edges of a full-size mirror permanently installed on the closet door of my bedroom as a kid.

Years later after I grew up I finally restored the door, stripped it down to raw wood (Bix ftw) as well as scraping all the stickers off the glass.

/shame the movie sucked so bad, I hadn't heard about it, wanted to see it until the oil html hit the anus firefox.

/you're not that old
//get over it -- and off my lern! *tinyfist*
 
2012-03-15 08:42:47 AM

Ambivalence: There was a garbage pail kids 1?

Seriously?


Yeah.

It makes Howard the Duck look like Citizen Kane.
 
2012-03-15 08:53:03 AM

Memoryalpha: Some studio exec was probably stopped at a traffic light while driving through hollywood and saw some bums picking through dumpsters for food and thought "Yeah, garbage pail kids sequel, they're all grown up now..." and ran with it when he got back to the office. Hell He was probably on his cell with staff to get a creative team together for it before he pulled away from the light.


Garbage Pail Kids stickers/cards/whatever have been re-released. I see them in stores and I've even thought about buying some just for the nostalgia. I guess they are selling pretty well if they are considering a movie.
 
2012-03-15 09:28:10 AM
wait, there was a first garbage pail kids movie?

how the hell did that happen
 
2012-03-15 09:40:47 AM
From TFA:
Michael Eisner's The Tornante Company is making a feature film based on the Garbage Pail Kids...

Cocaine: It's a hell of a drug.
 
2012-03-15 10:24:00 AM
On one hand, blech. On the other hand, my cousin is directing it and this is going to be his first feature, so I really have no choice but to root for it.

I'm so torn. :P
 
2012-03-15 10:32:39 AM
*sigh*
 
2012-03-15 11:12:38 AM

randomX: On one hand, blech. On the other hand, my cousin is directing it and this is going to be his first feature, so I really have no choice but to root for it.

I'm so torn. :P


get in to watch it early, and be prepared to disown him
 
2012-03-15 11:21:16 AM
It might come down to that.

"Pes, I'm really proud you got your first chance. Now go do something worth bragging about so we can never talk about this again."
 
2012-03-15 12:07:16 PM

Walker: Ali Gator - He wants to eat your toes; all of them.


This movie made me afraid to leave my toes uncovered when I went to sleep. Seriously. I curled up and tucked my blanket under my legs for at least a week after I watched this.

Also, we can do anything when working with each other.
 
2012-03-15 01:52:28 PM

MrEricSir: Jizz Master Zero: Subby fails at reading comprehension. It's not a sequel.

Trollish headlines? On my Fark? It's more likely than you think.


Funny you should mention Trolls (new window).
 
2012-03-15 02:35:27 PM

dr.zaeus: MrEricSir: Jizz Master Zero: Subby fails at reading comprehension. It's not a sequel.

Trollish headlines? On my Fark? It's more likely than you think.

Funny you should mention Trolls (new window).


They're remaking Troll?

www.rotatingcorpse.com

Oh my Goooooooodddddd!

\maybe troll 2 will be next
 
2012-03-15 03:20:57 PM

Lurk sober post drunk: dr.zaeus: MrEricSir: Jizz Master Zero: Subby fails at reading comprehension. It's not a sequel.

Trollish headlines? On my Fark? It's more likely than you think.

Funny you should mention Trolls (new window).

They're remaking Troll?

[www.rotatingcorpse.com image 579x262]

Oh my Goooooooodddddd!

\maybe troll 2 will be next


Get your ass back to nilboG you nerd.

Also, I wonder if Rowling will make a big deal about them getting to trot out the "Harry Potter" name?
 
2012-03-15 07:30:49 PM

MrEricSir: Yay, my link went green!

The real WTFs about this:
a. They're making another movie. The first one was so crappy I could barely sit through it and I love awful movies. It took bad movies to a whole new level of suck.
b. Michael Eisner is still around?
c. How many people even remember the Garbage Pail Kids at this point? Why make another movie now?


On point C - it's because the people who loved them at the time now have money and are hitting that "sentimental" time in their life.
 
2012-03-15 07:40:59 PM

8 inches: Holy shiat! I can't wait!!! I actually just bought a couple of boxes of the 1st series last month so this would really help my "investment". Seriously, I'm geeking out right now.


Exactly how sad is it that I have a few hundred original ones in a bag in the closet?
 
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