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    More: Interesting, magic words, College of Charleston, Emily Post  
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33789 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2012 at 4:12 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-14 08:06:51 PM  

Twilight Snarkle: ds394: LeroyBourne: Not a single farker has commented his view on 'thanking' women for sex. huh......

Excuse me?
Farker #1: Since I'm married, what is sex?
Farker #2: My mom won't let me bring a woman into the basement
Farker #3: I don't want to thank someone right after I paid them

I think that's all 3 types of farkers.

/type 1

Farker #4 is a woman.


Farker #5: Hey, it's my hand, it better do what I tell it!
 
2012-03-14 08:06:55 PM  

SFSailor: CSB: I was once stuck in a forced-interaction social function with a well-dressed, polished "patriarch"-y-type gasbag who went on and on about how no one is polite any more, and how he just had no respect whatsoever for anyone who used "dirty words" ... and then somehow magically transitioned into some of the most deplorable racist and homophobic ranting I have ever heard. But he didn't swear, so I guess that makes him a good person. Criminey.

It is kind of a zen koan for me: Can a "nice, polite" person really be considered "nice" or "polite" if they believe fundamentally horrible things but they behave with manners? Hmmm.


N*gger please?


EddieWearsUnderoos: I once said "gesundheit" to a stranger that sneezed. She proceeded to give me an earful of derp because I didn't say "god bless you" or some shiat. So now I don't say anything if someone sneezes. Or I might say "shut up" if I know the person. Stupid tradition anyway.


When strangers say "god bless you" to me i usually reply "youre not the pope of me".


trippdogg: My pet peeve: "I need two double cheeseburgers and a large fry,,,"
No you fat fark - that's the last thing you need. You would like two double cheeseburgers and a large fry, please - you need to go on a farking diet.


On the other hand are people who are too polite and ask for things from people in a service position. "...and could i have a diet coke". Really? Whats the server going to say, "go fark yourself"? Just say "Ill have a diet coke please" equally as polite and not stupid. I dont know why that bugs me even, but it does. Im not saying treat service workers like shiat, but you are the customer, inquiring instead of requesting just seems stupid to me.
 
2012-03-14 08:07:29 PM  
It's not the words, it's the feelings. Damn. Didn't we communicate by grunts sometime in our past? Like at the OWS protests?
 
2012-03-14 08:07:50 PM  

cgraves67: This article sounds like:

oldmanyellsatcloud.jpg


Like so many people who talk about the "downfall of the English language," the author Linton Weeks has very little idea of how English actually works. A major difference between English and other languages, particularly romance languages (like Spanish or French) is that we use indirectness as a means of conveying politeness. For example, "I'd like a cup of coffee" or "Could you bring me a cup of coffee" instead of "Bring me a cup of coffee." "Please" and "thank you" are already superfluous when you're already using one politeness strategy. Not that you can't or shouldn't add a "please" -- just that you don't need to when you've ALREADY gone to the effort of using indirectness.

"Politeness is defined as the interactional balance achieved between two needs: The need for pragmatic clarity and the need to avoid coerciveness"

Also, informality ("no problem" instead of "you're welcome") isn't a lack of politeness, it's a way to be MORE polite, by implying a closer relationship to the person you're addressing. The people who think "uh-huh" is rude (I'm looking at you, unyon) are confusing politeness with formality, which are actually two very different thing. They're also ignoring the fact that what is appropriate in one setting is inappropriate in another.

"Sometimes people are polite by being respectful of others and formal, and sometimes people are polite by being friendly and making someone feel like part of the group."

http://exchanges.state.gov/media/oelp/teaching-pragmatics/howard-rev. p df


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politeness_theory
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0378216687901925

Your language is like your body. You feel a great ownership of it, and don't want anyone else to tell you how to use yours, you use it every day, and yet you probably have very little idea of how it actually works.
 
2012-03-14 08:10:39 PM  

LeroyBourne: Not a single farker has commented his view on 'thanking' women for sex. huh......


They're too busy weeping afterwards to think about saying it.
 
Skr
2012-03-14 08:11:07 PM  
I say please, thank you, and you're welcome. I look 'em in eye when they tell me how their day went and how they feel. It's genuine care and it doesn't change even if the person I'm dealing with is agitated or rude. Some people do look surprised when I hold the door open for them.


/also I don't wipe my dick off on the window curtains.
 
2012-03-14 08:21:55 PM  

majestic: Ya, well I went to this bank and they had a sign that said they'd give you $20 if any of the tellers failed to say "hello" to you. So I walk up to cash a check and the teller says "hi". After a big to do with the manager, I settled for $5.


Does all your material come from 'Seinfeld'? Or do you occasionally wheeze out a tired old knock-knock joke of your own?
 
2012-03-14 08:23:53 PM  

algrant33: Midwesterner in Times Square: "Have a nice day"
New Yawker: "Don't farking tell me what to do, asshole"


Yeah, cabbies will do that if you stand in the road and talk to them.
 
2012-03-14 08:27:28 PM  

Spoon over Marin: I once tried to pull off "no worries" after a trip to Australia. I thought it sounded charming. It sounds funny if you don't add "mate" to the end, and that just doesn't go over well in Georgia.

I don't like "no problem," but I appreciate that it isn't just a grunt or blank stare.
I always say please and thank you because it is how I was raised and it makes your interactions more pleasant.

On the internet, however, all bets are off.


I say "no worries" most of the time. I live in Texas and got it from Terry Pratchett. I also say, "farewell" instead of "goodbye."
 
2012-03-14 08:55:12 PM  

TheBigJerk: Spoon over Marin: I once tried to pull off "no worries" after a trip to Australia. I thought it sounded charming. It sounds funny if you don't add "mate" to the end, and that just doesn't go over well in Georgia.

I don't like "no problem," but I appreciate that it isn't just a grunt or blank stare.
I always say please and thank you because it is how I was raised and it makes your interactions more pleasant.

On the internet, however, all bets are off.

I say "no worries" most of the time. I live in Texas and got it from Terry Pratchett. I also say, "farewell" instead of "goodbye."


A gun society makes for a more polite society.
 
2012-03-14 09:06:19 PM  
Language evolves. Please farkin' deal with it.
 
2012-03-14 09:18:31 PM  
i read a paragraph,then said "no thank you" to the rest
 
2012-03-14 09:19:29 PM  

unyon: Dear Americans: 'Uh-huh' is not a polite response to 'Thank-you'. Could you please make an effort to use you're welcome? We'd really appreciate it. And we're sorry for having to have had to bring it up. Thanks!

/Canadians, the politeness police.


Please DIAF

/thank you!
//Canadian
 
2012-03-14 09:28:24 PM  
i was raised in the south.

please, thank you, you're welcome, yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir, etc are just part of my dialogue. i get a lot of weird looks out here in cali for it, too.
 
2012-03-14 09:38:50 PM  

The Asshole Guy: I say the words please, you're welcome and thank you all the time. I never knew it was becoming a problem in America though. Maybe it is because I live in Maine where most people still say please, you're welcome and thank you.


I love Maine so much. I visit friends there when I can. But usually in the off season, especially deep winter. I love the quiet and how.. well, calm everyone is. I just feel worry that Maine will start to lose itself, as the modern world inevitably encroaches and impresses itself. So I try to not to visit too much, 'cause I don't want to become part of the problem.
 
2012-03-14 09:50:07 PM  

r1niceboy: Americans under a certain age are flat out obnoxious and rude unless taken in hand by their parents, who unfortunately, are also often just as bad.


The first time I ran a restaurant, I learned something perhaps obvious, but rarely studied: well-behaved kids have well-behaved parents, and poorly-behaved kids have poorly-behaved parents. There are exceptions, but it's reliable enough to bet on.

So whenever some adult (I won't say 'grown-up' in this case) says, "Oh, they're just being kids!" I know that they didn't have a very solid upbringing. When adults make excuses for kids, they're really making them for themselves.
 
2012-03-14 10:13:06 PM  

BrianGriffin: I really farkin' HATE the use of the words "No problem" as a substitute for "You're welcome" (or, what I usually say instead of "You're welcome." is "My pleasure." or "Happy to do it.") When someone says "No problem" when I thank the person, I want to say back "Well, that does that mean if what you had done WOULD have been a problem, you wouldn't have done it? Are you trying to reassure me that you were not put out by my request?" Really, what is "No problem" supposed to signify? That, god forbid, we are never allowed to ask a small amount of effort beyond breathing from our fellow human beings? I have news for you, Mr or Mrs "No problem." If you do NOT say "No problem" I do not walk away in a fit of panic wondering "Oh noes...did I cause that person a hardship? Did create a problem for him? How will I ever sleep tonight knowing I was a "problem" to someone."

The worst is when a waitperson says it. I REALLY want to snap back "Betcher damn ass it better NOT be a farkin' problem. It's your gorram job to serve me."

/Thank you for reading my my rant. I sincerely appreciate it.
//And yes, I do tell people, such as check out clerks, people at deli counters, etc. "Thanks for your help. I appreciate it." Because, yeah, I do.


you sound old

For someone like me, "no problem" means that it wasn't a burden on them to help you out or they were happy to do it. So its just another euphemism for the same thing. God forbid people like to switch it up once in a while. More meaning is conveyed in the tone of voice and look on the face than anything. I'd rather have a waitress smile and warmly say, "no problem!" than one who grunts out a "You're welcome." Get over it, who cares?
 
2012-03-14 10:26:23 PM  

CitizenTed: "No problem" infers that there is sometimes (or often) a problem


First of all, *inference* is the sense that *you* make of what someone else seems to *imply*.

Second, "How are you today?" implies that they want to hear how you are today, when in fact even your mother doesn't want to hear how you are today. It's a pat courtesy, no more or less, and in fact, the apparent *discourtesy* of the more casual expression is a deliberate attempt to sound *less* pat, because many people are tired of hearing the same pat courtesies after several decades.

If it makes you feel any better, some bitter old fart out there is disgusted that you say whatever you do instead of whatever he thinks you should, because it's how 'polite' people spoke in his age.
 
2012-03-14 10:31:08 PM  
Any thoughts on getting "anytime" as a response to a "thank you"?

/Didn't read the whole thread
//Sorry if this has been addressed already

I like 'anytime' and 'no problem' better than 'you're welcome'. They are less formal. You're welcome from some people makes me uncomfortable

On the other hand are people who are too polite and ask for things from people in a service position. "..

This is probably the root of 'no problem'. People were taught that it was rude to cause others difficulty, so saying 'no problem' absolves them of that while saying 'you're welcome' implies that you were a pain in the ass, but it's OK - kind of a passive/aggressive guilt trip kind of thing.

I say "no worries" most of the time. I live in Texas and got it from Terry Pratchett.

My husband says this too - and he's a Pole living in AK. Long as you are comfortable with it it comes off fine.

"being courteous costs you nothing" except your dignity and your balls, I'd rather be a man than a farking doormat, I don't care what being nice gets me, everyone else has nothing I want anyway, and even if they did, I'd just farking take it

If basic courtesy, and acknowledging things people do for you costs you your manhood, then it isn't very firmly attached. Only severely insecure losers have attitudes like yours - rationalizing that rudeness is strength when actually strong men have no problems being nice. All your posts have done is let everyone on Fark know that you are a worthless insecure douche with nothing of value to offer. You are nothing but an AW - welcome to ignore.
 
2012-03-14 10:31:37 PM  

busy chillin': Rapmaster2000

Even Canada.

It must be illegal to be a rude Canadian. Everyone I have ever met (about 20) have been super nice and cool and fun.

/but they didn't like the people from Regina, that cracked me up.


You've never been to St. John, have you?
 
2012-03-14 10:40:05 PM  

jigger: uttertosh: In Sweden we say "Thanks so much!", to which the reply is "Thanks yourself!"

Closest translation of "Tack så mycket!" and "Tack själv"


Funny. That sounds totally sarcastic in American English. Or even possibly kind of "fresh" if done with a wink or something.


When I was a newspaper editor, my publisher was fascinated with what she perceived as the secret life of words, and often asked me questions that I found difficult to answer quickly. So I got in the habit of writing her little essays about whatever she asked me, which I enjoyed because I got to think about it, and say a lot more, and say it better. Once she asked me to explain why I'd changed something someone had written into, "the same thing, using different words -- I mean, the meaning isn't different, is it?" I explained that the meaning was different, that words and phrases that have the same literal interpretation don't convey the same broader 'meaning'. The example I used for this was: "And also with you" (a common liturgical expression) doesn't have the same meaning as, "Same to you!"
 
2012-03-14 10:42:57 PM  

Howser: Alpha males don't say please or thank you, especially when dealing with women. Aloof indifferene wins respect from those you mean to lead.


They'd better not be looking to lead me, then.
 
2012-03-14 10:45:52 PM  

HansoSparxx: Wayne 985: over_and_done: My only pet peeve -- and it's been a recent one, but growing -- is hearing "no problem" from salespeople and waitstaff and business representatives. Especially as a replacement for "you're welcome".

"No problem"? Really? I didn't realize that "I'd like to make an appointment for anytime in the next couple weeks" or "I'd like a small #3 meal with a diet coke, please" could possibly have been a PROBLEM for your business. I would've thought that it was, in fact, the entire reason you and I were speaking!

Jesus, dude. I'm very picky about politeness, but so long as the intent and general expression are there, I'm happy. It's just a figure of speech.

It's like saying, "Can I... ?" instead of, "May I... ?"

No, that's just bad grammar.


My point being that I've actually encountered people who get annoyed and complain with me for saying it instead of simply reading my intent and giving me the information.

In the same vein, if you hassle someone for, "No problem," you probably have too much free time.
 
2012-03-14 10:52:38 PM  

ds394: LeroyBourne: Not a single farker has commented his view on 'thanking' women for sex. huh......

Excuse me?
Farker #1: Since I'm married, what is sex?
Farker #2: My mom won't let me bring a woman into the basement
Farker #3: I don't want to thank someone right after I paid them

I think that's all 3 types of farkers.

/type 1


I'm not married, I did bring girls down into the basement, and I don't have rules about who I thank when or for what: I thank people because I expect it of myself, not because I assume everyone 'deserves' it. Sometimes they don't, but they get it anyway. Being polite is painless and free.
 
2012-03-14 10:54:04 PM  

Twilight Snarkle: ds394: LeroyBourne: Not a single farker has commented his view on 'thanking' women for sex. huh......

Excuse me?
Farker #1: Since I'm married, what is sex?
Farker #2: My mom won't let me bring a woman into the basement
Farker #3: I don't want to thank someone right after I paid them

I think that's all 3 types of farkers.

/type 1

Farker #4 is a woman.


Bingo
 
2012-03-14 10:56:52 PM  

tedeb: [img560.imageshack.us image 640x277]


I think that's the only one of those I've seen where Karen is the rude one.

/"I owe you my life, Milkman Dan!"
//"Great! Can I collect now?"
 
2012-03-14 10:58:51 PM  

OgreMagi: And my experience in London was the youth of that country are a bunch of foul mouthed, lazy, self-entitled little assholes. In other words, they'd fit right in to an American inner city.


They'd have to learn English first.
 
2012-03-14 11:03:06 PM  

FloydA: Twilight Snarkle: ds394: LeroyBourne: Not a single farker has commented his view on 'thanking' women for sex. huh......

Excuse me?
Farker #1: Since I'm married, what is sex?
Farker #2: My mom won't let me bring a woman into the basement
Farker #3: I don't want to thank someone right after I paid them

I think that's all 3 types of farkers.

/type 1

Farker #4 is a woman.

Farker #5: Hey, it's my hand, it better do what I tell it!


Bingo again
 
2012-03-14 11:04:00 PM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: OgreMagi: And my experience in London was the youth of that country are a bunch of foul mouthed, lazy, self-entitled little assholes. In other words, they'd fit right in to an American inner city.

They'd have to learn English first.


Why? No one else there speaks English. At least not a version I understand.
 
2012-03-14 11:05:26 PM  

muck4doo: A gun society makes for a more polite society.


Holy cats, are we even dumbing down Heinlein now?

"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. "
 
2012-03-14 11:13:07 PM  
Please blow me.
Thank you.
 
2012-03-14 11:21:50 PM  
Ain't nobody stopped that 'ol kindness in Texas now. If you ain't!, Now you'll hear it.
 
2012-03-14 11:34:28 PM  
bioshock.neoseeker.com
 
2012-03-14 11:40:49 PM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: muck4doo: A gun society makes for a more polite society.

Holy cats, are we even dumbing down Heinlein now?

"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. "


In a pedantry thread I feel I must point out that your post implies that Heinlein is dumb enough already.

/perhaps that is what you meant
 
2012-03-15 12:53:49 AM  
Imagine a life in which someone saying 'No Problem' instead of "You're Welcome" is something that bothers you.
 
2012-03-15 01:18:54 AM  
For wait staff I always say please and thank you, cause I NEVER leave a farkin tip,,,,NEVER!!
 
2012-03-15 01:33:30 AM  

BrianGriffin: I really farkin' HATE the use of the words "No problem" as a substitute for "You're welcome" (or, what I usually say instead of "You're welcome." is "My pleasure." or "Happy to do it.") When someone says "No problem" when I thank the person, I want to say back "Well, that does that mean if what you had done WOULD have been a problem, you wouldn't have done it? Are you trying to reassure me that you were not put out by my request?" Really, what is "No problem" supposed to signify?


Actually, yes, "no problem" is indeed supposed to assure you that helping you did not trouble or inconvenience the person who helped you. That's exactly what it's suppose to mean.

This probably upsets you for two reasons:

1) "No problem" works in exactly the same way as "Don't mention it" or "It was my pleasure" or "It was nothing." I note that you didn't complain about those sayings, and I'll venture that they don't bother you, which means that you actually don't object to the politeness strategy itself, merely the newness or informality of "no problem" over "don't mention it."

2) Or perhaps you don't appreciate the strategy itself, even though it's a common one in many languages, and has been in English a long time. ("Don't mention it" dates to 1840). Other languages do this same thing. "De nada" in Spanish and "De rien" in French, to name two examples, both of which translate to "It was nothing."

If I may quote Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson, the founders of politeness theory (yes, it's a thing):

"We may distinguish between acts that primarily threaten H's face (as in the above list) and those that threaten primarily S's face. To the extent that S and H are cooperating to maintain face, the latter FTAs [face-threatening acts] also potentially threaten H's face. FTAs that are threatening to S include:

(i) Those that offend S's negative face:
(a) expressing thanks (S accepts a debt, humbles his own face)
(b) acceptance of H's thanks or H's apology (S may feel constrained to minimize H's debt or transgression, as in 'It was nothing, don't mention it.')
(c) excuses (S indicates that he thinks he had good reason to do, or fail to do, an act which H has just criticized; this may....."


http://hplinguistics.pbworks.com/f/Brown_and_Levinson_Politeness.pdf
 
2012-03-15 01:36:16 AM  

Maud Dib: ciberido:
Also, informality ("no problem" instead of "you're welcome") isn't a lack of politeness, it's a way to be MORE polite, by implying a closer relationship to the person you're addressing. The people who think "uh-huh" is rude (I'm looking at you, unyon) are confusing politeness with formality, which are actually two very different thing. They're also ignoring the fact that what is appropriate in one setting is inappropriate in another.

You're absolutely right of course. But it's one of those interesting things that, culturally, that particular informality strikes the Canadian ear wrong. It sounds dismissive, like one couldn't be bothered, not informal. 'No Problem', I have no problem with. Same with 'sure', 'my pleasure', 'but of course', or any other number of informalities you might want to make your point with. But 'uh-huh'? What does that even mean? It is an acknowledgement that hits my ear as the least possible effort one could make and still acknowledge that the other person said thank-you.

I appreciate that this is a cultural misinterpretation that is my burden, not that of the speaker. They may be giving me the most polite, most sincere, most inclusive, and friendliest 'uh-huh' in history, but it wouldn't translate. But to add to your point, it's probably also the case that Canadians aren't any more polite, just perhaps more formal or traditional in their politeness, which strikes the American ear in precisely the opposite way that informality strikes me.

I can't argue with your logic, though. Story checks out.

 
2012-03-15 01:49:15 AM  
Imagine a life in which someone saying 'No Problem' instead of "You're Welcome" is something that bothers you.

Seriously wtf is wrong with you people. I use no problem all the time, mostly in the context of helping someone with something. To let them know they can come to me any time for assistance. Whatever.

I actually think saying things like 'you're welcome' and 'my pleasure' can be misconstrued as condescending or the equivalent of 'I just did you a big favor'. It all depends on the context and delivery, of course.

I do teach my kid to say please, thank you, and you're welcome. She's still pretty small, so whether or not that will stick remains to be seen. But language changes. I find it doesn't help to be overly resistant to change, as long as that change is in a neutral or positive direction. As people move from 'You're welcome' to 'no problem' I would advise people to consider that they aren't telling you to 'f*ck off.' But perhaps in the future, telling someone to f*ck off will be a nice thing to say. By then I hope to be dead.
 
2012-03-15 01:56:12 AM  

redstarr01: If you have a couple of hundred strangers a day come through your line, you don't really care about each of them when you ask "How are you today?". People expect it. It's part of our culture's routine. They know you don't expect or desire an honest answer and they don't want to give you one. You probably don't really want to hear about their life details. It's just a phrase that says "I acknowledge that there's another human being interacting with me."


The term for that is phatic expression, by the way.

As a high school student, I decided, as an experiment, to say nothing phatic whatsoever for a week. Or, since I didn't know the word "phatic" at the time, I resolved to only speak in order to answer a question, ask a question, or convey important information. After two days, people started asking me whether I had laryngitis or had taken a vow of silence.

Yeah, I was a weird, geeky kid.
 
2012-03-15 01:57:08 AM  

BrianGriffin: I really farkin' HATE the use of the words "No problem" as a substitute for "You're welcome" (or, what I usually say instead of "You're welcome." is "My pleasure." or "Happy to do it.") When someone says "No problem" when I thank the person, I want to say back "Well, that does that mean if what you had done WOULD have been a problem, you wouldn't have done it? Are you trying to reassure me that you were not put out by my request?"


When you say "you're welcome," does that mean if you decided I had not been welcome to your services, you wouldn't have done it. I better be welcome since I'm a paying customer. Oh, it was "your pleasure?" If it didn't give you pleasure, would you not have done it? Am I putting you off?

/ect.
 
2012-03-15 01:58:59 AM  

The Asshole Guy: I'm just curious but where does one acquirer a "bowl of dicks" ?


Well, you start off by listening to King Missile a lot.....
 
2012-03-15 02:01:05 AM  
I grew up with a lawyer as a step dad and had Yes Sir, No Sir, Yes Maam, No Maam, Please, and Thank you drummed into me also. I have since started using No Worries (after hearing it in the Caribbean) mostly to my wife who worries all the time. I have used it in public also. I also hold doors for people (male/female) as it is the polite thing to do and I am generally never in a hurry. What I have found is that if you take an interest in others and speak genuinely you can often make there day a little better.

CSB
Years ago I used to work at a 7-11 and then a Circle K and I tried to make every customer smile before they left the store. I didn't always succeed but on many occasions I had made someones day just by being friendly and engaging in conversation with them. Watching them come in with frowns and leave with smiles not only made their day but made mine also.
end CSB

//may be old enough for GTFO my lawn, not sure
 
2012-03-15 02:09:41 AM  
Haven't read all the replies, but...

Most of us have - at one point or another - worked fast food or retail. When everybody's demanding and rude and you get that ONE customer who actually gives you a genuine smile and says, "Thank you so much for all your help!" or something similar, doesn't that just make your entire day? It did for me! (And it only happened a handful of times in MONTHS of working fast food!)

Seriously, is it really all that difficult to give someone a big smile and say, "Please," and, "Thank you"?

/The Golden Rule
//Quit being an arsehole just because you can.
 
2012-03-15 02:13:26 AM  

jigger: uttertosh: In Sweden we say "Thanks so much!", to which the reply is "Thanks yourself!"

Closest translation of "Tack så mycket!" and "Tack själv"


Funny. That sounds totally sarcastic in American English.


Uh, no, it doesn't. I've heard people reply to "thanks" with another "thanks" many, many times in the United States. It's quite normal.
 
2012-03-15 02:19:52 AM  
To add: This is an area where parenting has REALLY taken to sucking.

Guess what? Your kids will do as you DO, not as you SAY. So if you (the parent) treat servicepeople like crap, your kids see this. If you smile and say, "Please," and "Thank you," your kids will grow up to do the same thing. And while you're at it? Try being polite to your kids, too!

Typical conversation in my house (on a good day!):
Me: "Little Guy (my 2YO), can you please go put this in the trash."
LG: goes to put it in the trash.
Me: "Thank you so much! You're such a WONDERFUL helper!"

Typical conversation in my house (on a not-so-good day!):
Me: "Precious (my 8YO boy), can you please move your cup away from the edge of the table?"
Precious: doesn't respond
Me: "Precious, move your cup away from the edge of the table."
Precious: "Yes, Mom."
Me: "Thank you! Next time you need to do it the first time I ask. I don't appreciate having to repeat myself."

(Point being: You can be polite and STILL be authoritative. And your kids will never learn the "magic words" if parents never use them.)
 
2012-03-15 02:21:06 AM  

uttertosh: jigger: Funny. That sounds totally sarcastic in American English. Or even possibly kind of "fresh" if done with a wink or something.

You know... I've never gotten the 'fresh' thing. What was the Fresh Prince of Bell Air. I though it meant new. Like 'Fresh Paint'

Here it's 'New painted' or 'Nymålade' Makes much more sense to me!


He means "fresh" as in "impudent"

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fresh
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/impudent

"Impudent" is meaning #4
"Fresh Prince of Bel Air" is meaning #5 ("fashionable", "cool")
 
2012-03-15 02:34:29 AM  

unyon: But it's one of those interesting things that, culturally, that particular informality strikes the Canadian ear wrong. It sounds dismissive, like one couldn't be bothered, not informal. 'No Problem', I have no problem with. Same with 'sure', 'my pleasure', 'but of course', or any other number of informalities you might want to make your point with. But 'uh-huh'? What does that even mean? It is an acknowledgement that hits my ear as the least possible effort one could make and still acknowledge that the other person said thank-you.


Americans take directness, intimacy, and informality to levels that make people in most other cultures uncomfortable. And in some ways it may be worse when dealing with other native English speakers, because it's natural to assume that someone else who speaks English natively is just like you.

It's all a matter of context and being appropriate for that context. If you're dealing with someone who might be offended by the informality of "uh-huh," and you know it, then it IS rude to just use "uh-huh" instead of "you're welcome." Ultimately manners is about putting the other person at ease, to paraphrase Emily Post.
 
2012-03-15 03:17:17 AM  
Please shut your farking pie hole you obnoxious waste of space. Thank you.
 
2012-03-15 04:56:24 AM  
I find this trend fantastic!

My kids have excellent etiquette, despite their terrible manners, so they get away with murder, thank you very much.
 
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