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(The Sun)   Woman: "I'm paid £25,000 to test sex toys"   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 90
    More: Spiffy, Tulisa Contostavlos, Nats, Truro, Afghan refugees, Ann Summers  
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24844 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2012 at 3:54 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-13 11:57:24 PM
...oh?
 
2012-03-14 12:16:36 AM
I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)
 
2012-03-14 12:30:10 AM
Well, La -dee-da,
I'm paid £25,001 to test RealDolls.
 
2012-03-14 12:43:48 AM
I've survived the acid test, thanks.
 
2012-03-14 12:58:34 AM

markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)


Latex and clinic? That's got you all caps and bold warnings? I should probably not tell you what sort of stuff I got.
 
2012-03-14 01:06:36 AM

TheOmni: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

Latex and clinic? That's got you all caps and bold warnings? I should probably not tell you what sort of stuff I got.


Never seen the vagina face mask before, but the rest of the stuff is pretty tame
 
2012-03-14 01:11:31 AM

ArkAngel: TheOmni: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

Latex and clinic? That's got you all caps and bold warnings? I should probably not tell you what sort of stuff I got.

Never seen the vagina face mask before, but the rest of the stuff is pretty tame


More of a vulva mask. But yeah, that was kind of new. I can't find anywhere you could buy one though. And it's probably a good thing I have disable my google search history.
 
2012-03-14 01:35:48 AM
You would think her cockwallet would get a little tender after a while.
 
2012-03-14 02:37:43 AM

markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)


I don't think you've spent much time on the internet. If I was a worse person I could show you some things that would swallow your soul.
 
2012-03-14 04:06:49 AM

markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)


uh, there's worse things on /b/ right now, and I sure as hell don't delete my history when I go there.

/the vagina masks were new
 
2012-03-14 04:31:30 AM

platedlizard: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

uh, there's worse things on /b/ right now, and I sure as hell don't delete my history when I go there.

/the vagina masks were new


This.

/And this.
//Right-Click, Save As
 
2012-03-14 04:31:42 AM

platedlizard: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

uh, there's worse things on /b/ right now, and I sure as hell don't delete my history when I go there.

/the vagina masks were new


yeah, 4chan has been rather dangerous lately, hope they get that sorted out, more admins and such.
 
2012-03-14 04:55:53 AM
That biatch!
 
2012-03-14 05:12:17 AM

markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)


Seriously... I got all excited for nothing there.

/waits for someone to post some proper freaky links
 
2012-03-14 05:14:14 AM

dopeydwarf: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

I don't think you've spent much time on the internet. If I was a worse person I could show you some things that would swallow your soul.


Have him read the Wikipedia plot synopsis of "A Serbian Film" and get back to me. After that, it's all tame.

/Why did I read that?!
 
Skr
2012-03-14 05:18:09 AM
Ready for testing!

29.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-03-14 05:38:02 AM
Best troll thread of the week.
 
2012-03-14 05:40:13 AM

unicron702: dopeydwarf: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

I don't think you've spent much time on the internet. If I was a worse person I could show you some things that would swallow your soul.

Have him read the Wikipedia plot synopsis of "A Serbian Film" and get back to me. After that, it's all tame.

/Why did I read that?!


I immediately went to Wikipedia to read about "a Serbian film", I was sorry to have done so. What has been read cannot be un-read
 
2012-03-14 05:59:03 AM
I wonder if she's ever taken the challenge.

http://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-Great-American-Challenge/dp/B002E9I 0 F2
 
2012-03-14 06:00:05 AM

unicron702: Have him read the Wikipedia plot synopsis of "A Serbian Film" and get back to me. After that, it's all tame.

/Why did I read that?!


I just read it, I nearly added "The Aristocrats!" at the end.

/But I didn't...
 
2012-03-14 06:20:28 AM
A Serbian Film is proof that America's torture porn is still in it's infancy, and that infant is being raped.
 
2012-03-14 06:38:08 AM

markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)


Dude, the best thing on that site is the Spreckenglish descriptions of each item.

"I asked myself for a longer time why there is no ****plug with an integrated ****ring available? Should be a nice idea, wearing the plug and have the feeling of a nice ****ring the same time."

What is it with the Gerry's and their fetishes?
 
2012-03-14 06:46:35 AM

Herr Morgenstern: A Serbian Film is proof that America's torture porn is still in it's infancy, and that infant is being raped.


But you gotta love that twist ending. Never saw that one coming.
 
2012-03-14 06:55:17 AM

unyon: You would think her cockwallet would get a little tender after a while.


WTF? You're such a hopeless romantic.
 
2012-03-14 07:06:57 AM
Mom?
 
2012-03-14 07:14:36 AM

unicron702:
Have him read the Wikipedia plot synopsis of "A Serbian Film" and get back to me. After that, it's all tame.

/Why did I read that?!


What.the.fark did I just read?

I was perfectly happy in life not knowing that film existed before now.
 
2012-03-14 07:35:02 AM

Wittenberg Dropout: Herr Morgenstern: A Serbian Film is proof that America's torture porn is still in it's infancy, and that infant is being raped.

But you gotta love that twist ending. Never saw that one coming.


Really? I totally saw it coming, though only about thirty minutes in advance, and mostly because it just seemed like the most logical, if horrifying, outcome.

I will never watch that thing again. My cheeks hurt afterward from holding them in a wince for two hours.

\that's FACE cheeks, ya pervs.
 
2012-03-14 07:43:10 AM

ArkAngel: TheOmni: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

Latex and clinic? That's got you all caps and bold warnings? I should probably not tell you what sort of stuff I got.

Never seen the vagina face mask before, but the rest of the stuff is pretty tame


So what does the vagina strap on do? Is that like a penis extension for women?

And isn't syringe play dangerous? That just looks like a mess of AIDS and/or trapped-turkish-prostitute torture porn.

And what was the point of the horse?

At least many of the shots look like they're having fun with each other, but those shots where they're not... no bueno.
 
2012-03-14 07:46:04 AM

Nidiot: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

Seriously... I got all excited for nothing there.

/waits for someone to post some proper freaky links


Like two people who actually love each other holding hands and looking each other in the eye, for themselves instead of the camera? I think that's where we're about right now.
 
2012-03-14 07:55:51 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Nidiot: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

Seriously... I got all excited for nothing there.

/waits for someone to post some proper freaky links

Like two people who actually love each other holding hands and looking each other in the eye, for themselves instead of the camera? I think that's where we're about right now.


only if they're doing it in the missionary position for purposes of procreation. SICK BASTARDS.


/I'm with everyone else, make with the really freakay-deakay business, n00bs.
 
2012-03-14 08:04:32 AM
Don't knock on the missionary position... I've been rediscovering the joys of it now that my wife stopped breastfeeding... no missionary since she got the pregnant belly and all through 7-8 months of breastfeeding because her boobies felt sore. After a year of no missionary, it's great :)

/not for procreation purposes
//if we have another one we'll go broke and batshiat insane, not sure in what order though
 
2012-03-14 08:10:13 AM
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2012-03-14 08:16:56 AM
Woman Hottie: "I'm paid £25,000 to test sex toys"

Fixed that headline for you subby; in keeping with the fark tradition of headlines for any link from the Sun.
 
2012-03-14 08:18:11 AM
£25,000 for testing sex toys? Does she need an 'assistant'? I can help, no charge.
 
2012-03-14 08:28:35 AM
Unfortunately, while this sounds awesome, most people will become sick of anything they are paid to do. You could give me a $50K salary to play video games, and I'd do it, but I'd never want to see another one while off the clock again.
 
2012-03-14 08:31:57 AM
FTFA : She has put more than 1,000 sex toys to the test, as well as PVC outfits and saucy undies,

I assume that's clam sauce.
 
2012-03-14 08:37:17 AM
I actually really wish I had not read that Synopsis for 'A Serbian Film' on Wikipedia. Way too early in the AM. Soured my coffee, and left a stain on my soul. There's no reason for that level of extreme. Harry Knowles calls it "a great film", which is double confirmation as to the level of it's depravity.

Seriously, my mind feels "achy" after that...
 
2012-03-14 08:44:14 AM
That's a rough 24 years old.
 
2012-03-14 08:44:26 AM
Tommy Moo: Unfortunately, while this sounds awesome, most people will become sick of anything they are paid to do

The words of the prophets are written in the Motown sound.
Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby
Ain't nothing like the real thing
 
2012-03-14 08:49:57 AM
She's cute, in a British sort of way. Looks a damn shade better as a brunette than as a blonde, IMHO.
 
2012-03-14 08:56:40 AM
My reaction to reading the synopsis for 'A Serbian Film'

weknowmemes.com
 
2012-03-14 09:04:24 AM

Optimus Primate: I actually really wish I had not read that Synopsis for 'A Serbian Film' on Wikipedia. Way too early in the AM. Soured my coffee, and left a stain on my soul. There's no reason for that level of extreme. Harry Knowles calls it "a great film", which is double confirmation as to the level of it's depravity.

Seriously, my mind feels "achy" after that...


Anybody involved with that should be taken out and shot in the head. Some stories need not be told, that flick has nothing good about it.
 
2012-03-14 09:23:27 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: Well, La -dee-da,
I'm paid £25,001 to test RealDolls.


Kwame is this your alt?
 
2012-03-14 09:26:31 AM

markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)


You must have not been around in the days of the name that can not be said. That was just well, that was, that, it could not be described what he came up with.

/rogrog
 
2012-03-14 09:32:28 AM
And now she asks herself "I wonder why I can't got off with a man anymore?" Penises don't buzz, ladies. Remember that. It's important.
 
2012-03-14 09:41:11 AM

Optimus Primate: I actually really wish I had not read that Synopsis for 'A Serbian Film' on Wikipedia. Way too early in the AM. Soured my coffee, and left a stain on my soul. There's no reason for that level of extreme. Harry Knowles calls it "a great film", which is double confirmation as to the level of it's depravity.

Seriously, my mind feels "achy" after that...


If fark.com denizens think you shouldn't read it... yeah, not reading it.
 
2012-03-14 09:41:24 AM

TheOmni: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

Latex and clinic? That's got you all caps and bold warnings? I should probably not tell you what sort of stuff I got.


Lol. Something tells me your talking about homemade snuff films.
 
2012-03-14 09:41:56 AM
You haven't tried nothing until you've tried Sy.

Gimme dat, give me
de chromium leg.... gimme dat
 
2012-03-14 09:54:06 AM
Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo

/women sets off an alarm at an airport with a vibrator and Im the first with this?
 
2012-03-14 09:56:24 AM

Moonk: platedlizard: markie_farkie: I bet she's never tested any of The stuff these Germans are into (new window, EXTREMELY NSFW, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PRIVATE BROWSING MODE ON YOUR OWN COMPUTER)

uh, there's worse things on /b/ right now, and I sure as hell don't delete my history when I go there.

/the vagina masks were new

yeah, 4chan has been rather dangerous lately, hope they get that sorted out, more admins and such.


4chan has admins? Huh...

OT: Her job skills test in school must have made for interesting reading.
 
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